I don't really think you're getting a chilly response here. Posters are sharing what information they can, I think Scyalla's post about the 'bring-forward dates' and setting aside applications while further documentation is being provided is absolutely correct in your case. Whilst you were excited to get the passport request, since then your application has fallen off track because of the CSQ stuff, so you are no longer on the path that most applicants follow after the passport request. Other posters were posting in good faith when they told you that things were looking good at the time of the passport request, but since then things have changed (ie the CSQ stuff).
Also, you're able to visit with your spouse during processing, which puts you in a much better position than lots of people on this forum (who are not visa-exempt and have longer processing times from their countries) so in this context I don't think your getting a chilly response.
In your situation, I think I would be directing some of my hostility to my attorney ... perhaps you wouldn't be "languishing in indefininte limbo" had you known the CSQ stuff from the beginning.
best of luck in a speedy processing from here on