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Cheating Husband

vdry

Member
Mar 3, 2024
14
0
If your relationship has broken down then he does not qualify to include you in his PR applications and you are should only be listed as bin-accompanying in the PR application until your divorce is finalized. If you and your spouse try to go ahead with the PR application even though the marriage has broken down and you plan to get divorced that would be misrepresentation and your family’s PR status and then citizenship would always be at risk because it would have been obtained based on misrepresentation which means it could be lost. The progress bar being at 100% doesn’t actually mean that application has finished being processed. Progress bar is supposed to be a visual representation of the estimated average processing time so you often end up at 100% even though processing has not finished. Depending on the length of your marriage, whether you both agreed that you would be a stay at home mother, your family income and additional assets/savings, etc. alimony and child support may not be enough to live on or may not last a lifetime. Child support typically ends when children are adults and alimony may only last a certain length time depending on the length of the marriage. There is a good chance that you will need to return to work even if it is to return to work part-time when your children are a bit older.

You seem to blame your husband’s mistress and not be blaming your husband. He was the one who had a spouse and children who he would be betraying. Your husband is an adult and is able to make his own decision and I’ve with the repercussions of his decisions. If he has cheated once there is a good chance he may have cheated more than once. Would suggest you focus on the fact that you no longer should included on his PR application except as non-accompanying because your relationship has broken down. Would look to see if you qualify for PR visa other ways and whether you would be able to support yourself if you were able to get PR on your own
It is so easy for you to tell me to ditch the PR application since I am no longer significant. All of my savings was used, so he could go to Canada. All of my money, gone. This is why I want to know how I can get all the help I can to at least get my PR.

He never worked a dime when he was here in our home country, it was all me who supported the family and when this opportunity came, I also wanted to have it. I want that PR because I want to work and earn and build up my savings again. I want get back what I lost and probably more (not him anymore). I have never depended on him financially because I know I can work and earn better than him. I think IRCC knows that as well.

Yes I do blame the mistress. She knew that my husband is married and has a family, she should have stayed away. I also blame my husband for being stupid, for being easily manipulated.
 

Naturgrl

VIP Member
Apr 5, 2020
44,894
9,504
If he is main applicant, then you need to make sure your husband doesn’t change you to non accompanying and inform IRCC that he is separated. Then you will not get PR. All your savings and planning will be in vain.
 

Kaibigan

Champion Member
Dec 27, 2020
1,043
407
It seems the advice of some here is that you and husband should plan to conceal from the IRCC that you are separated and no longer a couple. I am not sure that is right, but very much the way things are done in today's world. A little misrepresentation never hurt anyone, right? So, in that case, be sure to prevail upon him to do all that he can to bring you to Canada.

In my view, your husband would be a fool to help you to get here. Seems he is happy with his new relationship. If the assists you to get here, he works against his own interests, does he not? Then you can be close to hand and create problems for him and the "home wrecker". You can pursue him in Canada for child and spousal support. If you are stuck in the PI, what can you do? Husbands in the Phils abandon families all the time with impunity. I know a lot of single moms there whose husbands went off and had another family and not one that I know of ever got a peso in child or spousal support. And that's when the husband is still in the Phils. If he is here and you are there, you are powerless. Yes, you can start an action in the Phils courts and see if you can get an order for child and spousal support. You would then have to hire an attorney in your husband's province in Canada and see if the superior court of that province will recognize and enforce the foreign judgment. I would guess that, at a minimum, you'll face legal fees here in the range of $10,000 (P400,000). That's on top of your Phils attorney's bill. Even then, with the right legal advice, he can avoid paying. Canada is a debtor's paradise. A bit of savvy about how to avoid garnishing orders, etc., can delay, hinder, defeat and deny all but the most persistent (and well-heeled) of creditors. But, if you are here, you can still hound him.

So, again, why would he cooperate to bring you here? But, you suggest he is easily influenced and led, so maybe you can induce him to go along. Kinda' like "Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly." Of course another reason why he should resist, is that by keeping you at bay in the RP, he can concentrate on helping his gf to stay in Canada. Seems her ability to remain here is uncertain. If she goes back to PI, she faces possible criminal charges initiated by you. Not a strong incentive to return home. She can live with him here for a year and seek to become a PR as his common law spouse.

In time, your husband can divorce you here. The Phils (through a court process) will recognize the divorce if he is a Canadian citizen when he applies for divorce. @canuck78 has mentioned divorce, and @Naturgrl girl has suggested a divorce attorney, but, as you know, no such thing in the Phils. You face the long, expensive and uncertain avenue of annulment. If you are to be free to marry again, if you stay there, you must wait for him to become a citizen and divorce you here, or you must seek annulment there. The only women I have met in the Phils who have been annulled are ones who met foreign men who wanted to marry them and take them abroad. The foreign men have paid the annulment costs. Lots of women (men too) in the Phils, are separated for years and still married.

Finally, as to pursuit of "alimony" and child support in Canada, there's maybe not much point. You mention knowing husband for 20 years. That could be from age 1 to 21 or age 30 to 50, or anything. In Canada, child support ends with age of majority (19 in my province of BC at the moment), although there can be an obligation to provide support to full-time post-secondary students. You mentioned having him support you and kids until you get established. As for as the kids go, if they are minors, you cannot waive child support. It's the right of the child and not yours to give or bargain away. As for supporting you, you have said even the IRCC is aware of your superior earning power. In that case, you might end up having to pay him. No joke. That can happen, just to add insult to injury. If you can access online the Canadian Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines, you'll get some idea. Although the SSAG purport to be no more than "advisory guidelines" and not law, Canadian courts follow them very closely.

Your situation is crappy, for sure. As @Copingwithlife suggests, you have not altogether met the equitable maxim of "He who seeks equity must come with clean hands. " However, you would appear to be more sinned against than sinning.

Good luck.
 

canuck78

VIP Member
Jun 18, 2017
55,589
13,520
It is so easy for you to tell me to ditch the PR application since I am no longer significant. All of my savings was used, so he could go to Canada. All of my money, gone. This is why I want to know how I can get all the help I can to at least get my PR.

He never worked a dime when he was here in our home country, it was all me who supported the family and when this opportunity came, I also wanted to have it. I want that PR because I want to work and earn and build up my savings again. I want get back what I lost and probably more (not him anymore). I have never depended on him financially because I know I can work and earn better than him. I think IRCC knows that as well.

Yes I do blame the mistress. She knew that my husband is married and has a family, she should have stayed away. I also blame my husband for being stupid, for being easily manipulated.
I am not telling you to ditch the PR application I am telling you that if your relationship has broken down he is not entitled to include you on his PR application like you are still in a relationship with no plans on separating and divorced (if in a country where divorce is possible). He should be listing your as non-accompanying and being honest about the true state of your relationship. He would be incorrectly filling out his PR application if he is including a you like you are in a marriage with no issues and not plans to divorce if you are a let get to Canada. I am not saying that there will not be significant consequences for you. You will need to negotiate alimony based on these consequences.

You continue to place blame on your husband’s mistress for the cheating and reinforcing the trope that men are of weak mind and are unable to stop the advances of women (not clear who was the one who initiated the relationship and/or initial attraction). Stating that he was manipulated into cheating versus being an active participant and may have been the one who pursued the affair not her. He is the one who should have focused on the fact that he had a family it was not up to the women.
 
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Kaibigan

Champion Member
Dec 27, 2020
1,043
407
If the marriage is broken and you still land as a PR, that can count as misrepresentation. You can be banned from entering Canada for 5 years.

Also kasalanan po talaga ng husband niyo, not the mistress.
Oo, may pusong salawahan siya, tulad ng sa kanta ni Mystica ng pamagat na iyon :)
 
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armoured

VIP Member
Feb 1, 2015
17,272
8,886
Betrayal in a relationship can be tumultuous, but it's essential to remember your worth and prioritize your well-being. Seeking counsel from a compassionate professional, like an Oceanside child custody lawyer, can provide clarity amidst the chaos.

Infidelity is a breach of trust that can rock the very foundation of a relationship. It's a heartbreaking situation where emotions run high, and decisions can feel overwhelming. Each individual's journey through this tumultuous time is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution.

As for the question raised in the topic, it's undoubtedly a complex issue with no easy answers. Ultimately, whether to forgive or move on is a deeply personal choice that only the individuals involved can make. However, it's crucial to prioritize honesty, respect, and mutual understanding in any decision-making process.
Go away, bot.
 
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