As-salamu-alaykum to all brothers and sisters,
(I Am Venting Out)!!!
I do not know where to begin, it’s just so depressing. I am all but jaded being in this sunken relation of gloom and emotional dejection with my so-called life partner.
I have been married for almost 1 ½ year now; professionally I am a graduate from Institute of Industrial Electronics Engineering (IIEE) Karachi, currently working in Qatar as Radio Frequency Engineer for Aerospace and Defense Ingenium Technologies, a San Diego based company. Anyways, I was married in March 2012 and later in May 2013 I have received my passport back with visa stamped. It was an arranged marriage been tailored by our parents, but now I want to call it quits, When the application was being processed in CHC-I, she was asked several times to be accompanied with me in Qatar but she stayed reluctant. Her bizarre behavior have always puzzled me, always made me thinking about mending my ways. How could I be so wrong knowing her? I don’t believe my senses that I have made that stupidity of marrying her! How easily I have made a firm conviction in personality lies about her made up by my scoundrel in-laws? Regretting why I put my reputation at such worthless stake?!!
As my curiosity grows concerning her behavior; I started investigating her past and after three months of swift digging it was discovered that my wife is a patient of multiple mental disorders: Schizophrenic, bipolar disorder, paradoxical disorder, paranoia, bizarre delusions & hallucinations with disorganized speech and disturbed emotional responses, etc. In the entire time of our relationship I am shocked to become aware of her inconsistencies and instabilities to perform normally for even menial house chores. She can’t drive a car because of consistent breakdown of thoughts; she can’t even cook food for that matter. She can’t study or peruse a career; she can’t wake up in the morning, the antipsychotic medicine namely: Olanzapine, she takes to control her anxiety; keeps her sedated most of the times.
All in all, after knowing all this I made the decision to leave the relationship. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The last 1 ½ years have been the greatest trouble for me. It was like living with a ticking time bomb of emotions, you’re always walking on egg shells, always trying to please her to keep the peace, never discussing her habits, never talking about her verbal abuse to me. I look back and think what I could have done differently, I don’t know. I tried to get her help. She has been hospitalized three times; she was treated by two psychiatrists. One wanted to commit her and the other felt she was fit to go home and take care of the stuff, with the stipulation that she would take her medication regularly. She is constantly claiming as in her psychosis that people are stalking her, threatening her, everyone’s out to get her, that I am not her husband, the list goes on and on. I have started divorce proceedings and I’m ending the relationship, already canceled my visa, because I feel I have no other choice.
Advice: Be aware who you marry, know her/him in and out before making any commitments.
Thank you
Zain
