I have my sympathy with you. But I find you at fault as well for not wanting to see your husband before Nikkah day. When the girls and boys can go to the co-ed school, make friends with opposite gender, go to malls and movies together then why can't a girl see a guy or talk to him about what she seeks in a husband before getting married or Viceversa? People say, its not allowed in Islam. But why do they only look at religion when it comes to getting married? why not for the rest of the things they do and the way they live their life?