Breakup question

[benfield84]

Hey everyone,

New here. My ex and I have separated and things are getting messy. We have been together for five years and she wants money, which now that she has given up on me after two months in Canada. I told her that she lives with her parents we are not married we are common-law....I told her that I need the little money I have to pay for my apartment and get by and look for work. She is angry and she told me that her father is in the Army and she has a couple of police friends- don't know what this mean? Is this a serious threat?

Also, she wants me out of Canada? She has my PR card refuses to return it to me, had to get the cops involve and now things are messier. I reminded her that she is responsible for me for three years-- not to worry her or scare her but to let her know she can't take the little money I have and leave me in canada screwed. I'm willing to ask my dad for a loan so I don't collect unemployment.

I just need to know what you guys thing I can do with this. again this breakup has been messy, with a of nasty words being exchanged via emails etc etc. I'm been hurt by all of this that she would give up so quickly. I have been crazy and have called her non-stop and stop like that. I have stopped doing it for a week now, until today where I need her to explain her comments and also she is withholding my PR Card because she says I promised to give money for the credit card....which I have no problem paying once I know what I have and how I can plan for the future. Times are tough- she feels like I needed to keave half of the very little I have with her. I have helped her, as she never really worked. I sent her ove 1 K this month alone.

Can you guys let me know what I can do? Should I report those threats to the police? Should I be worried that she can take the little money I have, after all I need to survive on my own and she lives with her parents?

Thank you

 

[Oil Sand Guy]

Hey everyone,

New here. My ex and I have separated and things are getting messy. We have been together for five years and she wants money, which now that she has given up on me after two months in Canada. I told her that she lives with her parents we are not married we are common-law....I told her that I need the little money I have to pay for my apartment and get by and look for work. She is angry and she told me that her father is in the Army and she has a couple of police friends- don't know what this mean? Is this a serious threat?

Also, she wants me out of Canada? She has my PR card refuses to return it to me, had to get the cops involve and now things are messier. I reminded her that she is responsible for me for three years-- not to worry her or scare her but to let her know she can't take the little money I have and leave me in canada screwed. I'm willing to ask my dad for a loan so I don't collect unemployment.

I just need to know what you guys thing I can do with this. again this breakup has been messy, with a of nasty words being exchanged via emails etc etc. I'm been hurt by all of this that she would give up so quickly. I have been crazy and have called her non-stop and stop like that. I have stopped doing it for a week now, until today where I need her to explain her comments and also she is withholding my PR Card because she says I promised to give money for the credit card....which I have no problem paying once I know what I have and how I can plan for the future. Times are tough- she feels like I needed to keave half of the very little I have with her. I have helped her, as she never really worked. I sent her ove 1 K this month alone.

Can you guys let me know what I can do? Should I report those threats to the police? Should I be worried that she can take the little money I have, after all I need to survive on my own and she lives with her parents?

Thank you

...

 

[aerogurl87]

Honestly I'd record all her threats and the fact that she's withholding your PR card, and report it to the police. Withholding your PR card is theft in itself and the threats could make things messier but it could also help get her off your back with her begging you for money.

 

[Love_Young]

We really need an administrator for this type of stuff. Just saying.

 

[heatherusa]

We really need an administrator for this type of stuff. Just saying.

I love the flags and smilies in your timeline... they are so cute...

 

[Love_Young]

I love the flags and smilies in your timeline... they are so cute...

Aww thank you. ^_^ I just found them today. I was hoping others would like them too. I can link you to the site I got them from if you want me to.

 

[Siouxie]

First and foremost, she cannot make you leave Canada and you do not have to. You are a Permanant Resident and have all the rights of a Canadian, apart from being able to vote. Disregard what she wants and concentrate on what YOU want.

She has to give you your documentation. If she refuses to you can ask the police to come with you whilst you get them from her, or apply for a certified copy (see below).

http://www.settlement.org/downloads/Sponsorship_Breakdown_Family_EN.pdf

What if my sponsor has my documents?

If you are afraid to ask your sponsor for your documents, or you think your sponsor will not give
them to you, you can apply to CIC for a certified copy of your permanent resident papers or a
replacement permanent resident card. For more information, phone Citizenship and Immigration
Canada at 1-888-242-2100.

The police can help you get your documents from your sponsor. A community worker can help you
ask the police to go with you to your sponsor's house. The police cannot make your sponsor give you
the papers, but they can make sure you are safe while you are there.

Edit: here is the page on CIC website to get copies of your documents: http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/information/applications/guides/5545E.asp

Secondly, stop contacting her (other than through an intermediatary such as a councellor in order to get your belongings/documents back) as if you keep calling her and emailing her it could be seen as harrasment.

Thirdly, if you need money or help to sort this out, go to the local settlement or Service Canada office and ask for assistance. They will advise you what your rights are and help you to get what you need.

Lastly, I suggest you make sure you have proof of the money you have sent to her and write a formal letter outlining your intentions with regards to the credit card bill, indicating the total amount owed, how much you will be paying and by when, and send it by recorded delivery. Also contact the bank or any other credit company that you have an account jointly with her and ensure that she is removed from the account or that you are - you don't want to be responsible for any further debt from her. Inform anybody that you have accounts with that you are no longer at your former address and are not fiscally responsible for any debts incurred by (insert you ex's name here).

She cannot make any claim on any money you have (unless it was a joint account). You have a duty to be self reliant as much as is possible but you also have a right to be supported by her as your sponsor, should the need arise.

If you can say what province you are in then perhaps someone can help you with advice on where to go for help.

Keep calm, don't get stressed out ...



This pdf, although aimed at residents of BC, will be helpful. http://legalaid.bc.ca/assets/pubs/sponsorshipBreakdown_eng.pdf

 

[Love_Young]

Also, if you are going to troll at least come up with a different story so that you can't be so easily linked to your other posts/threads.
http://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threats-t58006.0.html

 

[ditta]

How come that recently everyone is breaking up right here? What happened people??? There should be a section created for counselling pls...

 

[Siouxie]

Also, if you are going to troll at least come up with a different story so that you can't be so easily linked to your other posts/threads.
http://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threats-t58006.0.html

I had presumed that he was asking for further advice, with regards to her refusal to give him the PR card etc. It's the "same" story but expanded.

Can we not just give him the benefit of doubt that it is a genuine request for help and give what advice we can? If it's genuine they will be grateful.

 

[Love_Young]

How come that recently everyone is breaking up right here? What happened people??? There should be a section created for counselling pls...

It is the same person creating different accounts. If you go back and read all of the threads you will realize they are all worded the same way, all have but a few posts, etc. This is called a troll. In my opinion all of us need to report to whomever manages this forum and report their actions and all the accounts. Hopefully they can put a stop to it.

"In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion."

 

[Love_Young]

I had presumed that he was asking for further advice, with regards to her refusal to give him the PR card etc. It's the "same" story but expanded.

Can we not just give him the benefit of doubt that it is a genuine request for help and give what advice we can? If it's genuine they will be grateful.

Very true and I agree with you. If it is a genuine request then I send my apologies however I believe they would receive more help if they could at least keep it to one thread or at least the same username.

 

[heatherusa]

Very true and I agree with you. If it is a genuine request then I send my apologies however I believe they would receive more help if they could at least keep it to one thread or at least the same username.

A person with genuine intent doesnt post under different usernames over and over in the course of 24-48 hours.... and no way that this is a coincidence and we have 4 separate people with the same unique problem suddenly posting for the first time... especially after LindaB got flamed the way she did.

Its a troll.

 

[ditta]

I agree. Read all the other similar posts- mainly the same. Must be removed from the forum.

 

[Hycore]

How come that recently everyone is breaking up right here? What happened people??? There should be a section created for counselling pls...

Hmmm, maybe it started snowing and everyone has S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder)