Re: The Waiting (Mind) Game
Really good!
helpfromheaven said:Hello fellow Decemberians..or anyone else waiting for good news.
Since 12/6/15, I have been patiently awaiting my fate. It dawned on me today that there are thousands and possibly millions of others floating in the same boat, being tossed about in the billowing waters of uncertainty, anticipation, and cautious optimism. But, as with every boat ride that lasts longer than one might prefer, there is a tendency to begin to feel sea sick, and after enough time, even the slightest of waves can feel like turbulent waters..
Online hysteria:
I had to question my sanity today when I logged into my CIC account for the 3rd time within a 24 hour time span. And this was, of course, in addition to the heart palpitations I have every time I receive an email, and the subsequent feelings of disappointment when I realize that its only Google reminding me of my dentist appointment. Earlier this week, I found myself checking my junk mail just in case the illusive "donoreply@cic.gc.ca" had decided to hide from me there (even though the first 3 emails had made it quite safely into my inbox with no problems).
Questions, questions questions:
And then, of course, there are the questions. From friends, family, colleagues, employers..."How far with the Canada thing? Any News?"... questions to which I have now developed the canned response, "No news yet, but no news is good news when it comes to immigration! :" While I legitimately do not believe a word of this statement, it has had remarkable results in silencing people's curiosity and steering them towards a new topic of conversation.
Uncertainty:
All future planning has come to a grinding halt. Because how exactly does one plan for the future when at any minute (between 8am and 5pm, Monday to Friday Eastern time) their lives can be abruptly uprooted to a new continent to begin a new life there?
The last leg:
Reaching the 120 day mark was indeed a small victory for me, in many respects. However, it gradually became evident, on day 121, that any symptoms of anxiety (or insanity) that I had previously exhibited had taken a turn for the worst. And so, I find myself here, on day 123, sharing my emotional journey and saying to the waiting masses: you are not alone.
Sanity Check:
The first half of this process involved the myriad of steps and hurdles involved in submitting the application. While arduous, it was easy to measure and see progress. However, over time, and similar to a long distance run, the journey transformed from a physical one, to a mental one. What has helped me tremendously on my own journey has been to fill my days with meaningful distractions. For most of us, when the day of approval comes, God willing, we will be separated from friends, family, and the surroundings we have come to know and trust. Soak it all in. Live in the present. Walk in faith and optimism, and avoid spending time obsessing about negative outcomes as this behavior is associated with a high level of anxiety and all its associated bi-products (stress, a lack of productivity, negativity, erratic behavior etc). Although not always apparent in my own behavior, I have drawn a great deal of strength from my faith. So much so that I have found myself becoming increasingly open to any and all outcomes, and believing that my happiness is not tied to one single event. But this may be different for others depending on their faith and circumstance. Nevertheless, and for fear of rambling on for too long )I hope that I have encouraged, or uplifted in this verbose but heartfelt post. You are not alone. I wish you all an abundance or mental peace, blessings and good fortune!
Signed: AOR: 12/6/15.
PS: Special thank you to the heroes (and heroines) of this site: the contributors, the responders and the congratulators. You have impacted lives, changed destinies, and alleviated the fears and anxiety of people like me. People you have never met, but whose lives you will affect for years to come.
Really good!