Am feeling so bad!!!!

[cyanmaple]

I understand. Before coming here, my American-born husband, with two master's degrees, thought that Vancouver was the name of the province...he knows my birthday is the end of December but always gets the date wrong. And I have to think through to get his birthdate correct starting with he's a virgo like my father but his birth month is August like my ex husband...We don't have kids, we have dogs and he occasionally calls or female the name of his previous female, but I've noticed I started mix up the names of our males.

But anyone trying to could answer those questions and not know the real important things - like my likes and dislikes, my dreams. hopes and fears, my allergies, what time to wake me and when I prefer to start work in the morning...how hot I like my bath, how cold I like my beer...

We can go shopping together and he knows exactly my taste, and my shoe size and my weight.

He's called me by his deceased wife's name twice, but I am mature enough to be okay with that because of how they were together; it's not an insult.

I could go on, but I won't. I'll just say this: I get it, and I too am leaving Canada to be with my husband.

Good luck.

u people live on mars , seriously....how can one forget his partners date of birth and then go and live in another country because getting some questions wrong.....is Mr touran aged 90? otherwise i cant understand how he forgot your date of birth....I am not being mean here...

 

[bobshynoswife]

You are kind of being mean. Saying we live on Mars? That her husband must be 90?

Look, he bombed the interview. He's upset, she's upset. She came here looking for some support. That's what I offered. I also question how in the world he could have got those questions wrong, but I'm not here to judge their relationship. Mrs Turan moving to Turkey would probably be the only way to be with her husband if they say the relationship is not genuine.

 

[tgchi13]

u people live on mars , seriously....how can one forget his partners date of birth and then go and live in another country because getting some questions wrong.....is Mr touran aged 90? otherwise i cant understand how he forgot your date of birth....I am not being mean here...

You are correct: You aren't being mean; you are being arrogant and insulting. Shame on you. I'm not going to the US for any reason such as this, btw, I am going there because it is so much faster than him coming here.

 

[cyanmaple]

he bombed the interview? I quote Mrs Turan:

"They asked him questions he couldn't answer. Like when was my birthday, where do I live, and the name of my son here in Canada"

He did not bomb the interview, this was a catastrophic failure. I am sorry, i cant understand this things

 

[confusednscared]

I am sorry for what he's done at his interview. I know it can be stressful and nerve wracking to go through the process but how in god's name can he forget the basic details of his own wife, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life?

You too said he was prepared for the interview, how has he prepared himself? Have you both been through the long lists of immigration questions together and see how much he knows of you? I think if he had he would have had some background knowledge regarding the potential questions they could have asked him. Therefore, I don't think he was fully prepared for this interview.

Also, according to the time line you have posted in your profile you are no where close to having experience "a long wait"

You really should be thankful that your husband got his interview a month after your application was received at the VO. The real wait is when you have to sit and wait for months not knowing what is to come next.

Best wishes,
Confused.

 

[tgchi13]

Confused, I am sending you a PM.

 

[Mrs. Turan]

Sorry it has taken me so long to answer. Wow. I wish I could have answered quicker. I don't even know where to begin lol. His sister and I talked at length about how he was unable to answer all the questions he should have known. She was rolling her eyes as much about it. But there are circumstances to everything. It's really easy to judge when you don't know the whole story.
We haven't started spending our life together first of all. And this person who I will be spending the rest of my life with grew up in a remote village, where his date of birth is not even recorded. None of his family know the exact date of his birth because it didn't get certified for a few years later. I actually have two different dates for his birth in two different months. We're going by one, but I'm certain it's the other. There is no question for his siblings just him. Kind of a strange circumstance, I guess. He gets a little flustered just talking about his date of birth.
The first in his village to learn to read, while he herded sheep for his family until age 12. He had to wait for his secondary education as there was none at the time. His family eventually packed up and moved to Istanbul where Murat was sent before to finish his education and trade at 15. He started working and never stopped.
I never expected to get the interview so fast. Neither did he. But you know life goes on. We really didn't get too much time to go over the kind of questions he would be asked. When we should have been preparing he was doing a really big job on the other side of his country. He was gone for a whole week, and we only had notification for the interview 2 weeks before.

 

[tgchi13]

Mrs Turan, as I said my husband in an American Citizen - we have government documentation for him with two different birth years.

I do understand. I also understand that this makes little sense in a Cdn/US relationship so I empathize how easily it could happen elsewhere.

It does happen.

 

[campesinaj]

I'm sorry your experience was so bad. Hopefully it's doesn't mean a negative answer for the PR.

My husband is incredibly forgetful and often dislexic. He forgets dates like birthdays because he's always had someone (his mother, his sisters, now me) to help him remember to send the cards or make the birthday phone call. He mixes up times and has a terrible sense of time too. (I'll be home in 5 minutes means 30 minutes at least!) He often confuses numbers too, 5:30 can be 3:50 and so on...

Anyways I'm trying to say that I do understand how people can get things confused. Plus, add the stress of the interview and the immigration process to the mix...

It was quite hard for me to understand my husband's forgetfulness when we first were dating. I just happen to be a super anal personality type who writes everything down; I keep calendars for years after, I save ticket stubs and souvenirs of everything I do. I memorize dates easily and I'm obsessed with details...that's just who I am! some of us can't relate to a forgetful person...

Good luck on your journey, I hope it has a happy ending...

 

[Mrs. Turan]

TGChi13, you are so awesome to answer me back. It seems like a garbled mess right now. My husband was so confident about the interview. The fact that he "bombed it" as some say was a terrible blow to him. I wish we could get an answer right away because I'm just tired of going through this. I know I haven't had a terrible long wait like some people have. I do sympathize with those people too. I just don't want to go through it, if I don't have to.
Living in Turkey would be a huge adjustment. I might not be able to work for a certain amount of time and my husband doesn't really want me to work, if I live there. So I'd be a dependant to him, something that I really don't want. But if it means proving a genuine marriage, well, we could do it. For a year or so, and then trying it again. We would have a place to stay in Canada when we get back, at my Mother's. She's already promised me.
His whole family loves me, and we'll get a little apartment. It'll be fine. I'm not giving up hope. I am not feeling so bad anymore. I love my husband so much, and I feel so lucky to be going thorugh this with an outcome that will be happy one day.

 

[tgchi13]

I feel so lucky to be going thorugh this with an outcome that will be happy one day.

See, that's what any immigration system wants and needs to know: You will not give up. From what I have read I am also lucky that I can be sponsored to the US; many good people here don't feel the option to apply to their spouse's country.

We are on year three of our application but that does not outweigh or dismiss your situation by an means.

 

[Mrs. Turan]

It was quite hard for me to understand my husband's forgetfulness when we first were dating. I just happen to be a super anal personality type who writes everything down; I keep calendars for years after, I save ticket stubs and souvenirs of everything I do. I memorize dates easily and I'm obsessed with details...that's just who I am! some of us can't relate to a forgetful person...

Yes. I totally agree with you. I remember every family members birthday including his. He needs reminders for everything. I don't like being unprepared. But I do understand his forgetfulness because he's usually doing a million things in a day, plus running errands for everyone else too. He has a wonderful heart, so yea, I do forgive him.
I think Canada will be good for him. I know he definitely needs a vacation. Since we got married he works 7 days a week and such long hours. He has tried very hard to build a sucessful business and planned on working right till he left for Canada.

 

[Mrs. Turan]

Ok I'm not figuring out the quote thing. Sorry about that. But my response is mixed in there with yours,
Campesinaj.

 

[Lois Lane]

be proactive i strongly suggest you write the embassy email or fax the reasons you believe your husband didn't do well at the interview and why your relationship is infact genuine, ask them to contact you if they have any questions, say that if you are to receive a refusal you will go and live with him but it will be a burden and list the reasons why, explain what the two of you had planned for your future together...ie buying a home, a new car, vacations, new jobs, whatever that looks like for you....

goodluck!

 

[confusednscared]

YOU WILL BE JUST FINE

WE ALL MAKE SILLY MISTAKES AND GOD FINDS WAYS TO SHOW OTHERS TO FORGIVE US

JUST PRAY AND KEEP FAITH IN GOD