Am feeling so bad!!!!

[Mrs. Turan]

My husband had his interview this morning. Initially, he was so excited and confident. But now we don't know what's gonna happen. They asked him questions he couldn't answer. Like when was my birthday, where do I live, and the name of my son here in Canada. He really thought he knew everything but I guess he kind of froze. Anyways, he's very negative about the outcome now. We have worked very hard to get this far, just to have some stupid questions not answered because he couldn't remember? They told him they would get back to him with the results of the interview soon. But he feels so bad about what they're gonna say!!!!! Can anyone tell me what it means, because after all we've gone through, going thorugh the proper channels, waiting waiting waiting. It makes me kind of annoyed that he was made to feel so bad. He is very sincere, wouldn't they see that?

 

[bobshynoswife]

I am so sorry. I expect most people will not know the answer to EVERY question, but how on earth could he not have answered his wife's birthday, where she lives, or his step-son's name?? Those seem to me to be the easiest of all questions.

I'm sorry he bombed the interview.

 

[joecreosta]

i agree with Bobswife

were they speaking different langugge?

 

[Mrs. Turan]

I live in British Columbia, Vancouver Island, Duncan. He remembered the Vancouver part. And as far as my birthday. Well 2 years ago my Dad passed away on my birthday. My birthday is kind of a sore spot that is hard for me to talk about. He knows that. Plus we both work all the time. It's been a challenge enough to spend time together and for me to learn the language. What you consider basic things are not that important to us. We love each other. He does not speak english at all! His interview was conducted in Turkish. Both our families know everything. They know how important this interview was, and like I said, he thought he was prepared. So he made some mistakes and blanked out. He's not a stupid man, and he tried very hard. He is not accustomed to not succeeding and this just devastated him.
Now he thinks maybe I should just move there because Canada doesn't want him. He's really hurt. This is a man who whorks 16+ hours a day, 7 days a week. He has his own business there and felt confident about the future, our future. He has worked hard all of his life, loses sleep just to connect with me on a regular basis and I am his first love. Come on, isn't there anyone who can try to understand?

 

[canadianwoman]

I'm sorry to hear of your husband's problems in the interview. The interview is very stressful, and it is easy to get so stressed out you forget things.
If you move there to live with him, and live there for a year or more, your next application (if this one is refused) will almost certainly be approved.
I've read lots of appeal cases. Cases where the first application was refused because the visa officer didn't believe it was a genuine relationship, and the couple applies again, are usually only approved if there is new evidence. New evidence would be a baby and/or that the Canadian has moved to the spouse's country and they have been living there together. Things like more trips to visit, more phone calls, more emails, are not usually considered new evidence - just more evidence of the same thing. (I've read only one case where more evidence of contact was enough to be accepted the second time. Usually they need cohabitation.)

 

[joecreosta]

mrs truan. the reasons u gave are sure understandable.

but me not even being IO would be suspecious....

 

[can_usa_97]

I'm so sorry the interview hasn't seem to go well. I agree it seems hard to swallow he wouldn't know answers to things that seem 2nd nature - but I think those are likely the things you expect to know and are easier to go blank on. My husband - after 13 years of marriage - still has to stop and think about which day we were married and how many years. lol. It's just not as necessary until October comes around.

I hope that the IO perhaps sees your other evidence and other questions he answered that those are good enough.

 

[Mrs. Turan]

Yea I'm sure he answered some questions right. I agree. It couldn't have been a total failure. It has been a lot of work to get to this point. It's just hard right now because he is being very hard on himself. I know he has all of those questions drilled into his brain-NOW. A little late!!! :-[ He does feel embarassed. We only got engaged in August, married in November and filed in February. It was even hard for me to fill out the paperwork. Maybe we were just overly confident and sure they'd see how much we love each other.
We only had 3 weeks together. Two of them were spent unmarried(I shared a room with his sister), and 1 married week where we could sleep together.
But those three weeks were so nice. He took time off work for the whole time I was there. I fell even more in love with him, and his family too. I saw Istanbul from his point of view, not like a tourist. I saw the pain in his Mother's eyes at losing her eldest son to me in Canada. But I also saw trust in me from her.
Anyways, I guess I'm feeling really emotional right now. He's on the long ride home from Ankara and I won't talk to him until tomorrow now...

 

[Rocky636]

Mrs. Turan,
the Q. he can't give answers just look at them again... they r the basic Q. and if you both loves and know each other very well how he can skip them even Ur birthday?
yes i am agree Applicants may all freeze in interview room but looks How IO gonna accept that he don't know Ur birth date ...

well wait and see now may be they just go with relationship proof

 

[Mrs. Turan]

I guess it looks bad from an outsiders point of view. But I just don't see the importance of it until he actually gets here. Obviously he didn't know it would be a big deal either. We have reference papers to check these things when we need to know them. We have facebook to remind us when birthdays are coming up. I should have been drilling these things into his head I guess instead of learning how to communicate with him in Turkish?
He has yet to meet my son but my son lives out on his own, he is 21 years old. And we live in two different countries.
Every case surely is individual. We both work all the time but we have definite plans for our lives when we will be together. Here or there, it doesn't matter. We just thought he would do well in Canada. We'll do well in Turkey too! We're both honest hardworking people. I love it there, but he wanted to come here and see Canada. He's never been outside of Turkey except for work, in a few neighbouring countries. I guess we'll just wait and see.

 

[bobshynoswife]

I am sorry if my response came across harshly. I am sure your husband did the best he could, and given your communication difficulties it is understandable for him to not quickly be able to answer the questions.

I hope the IO was able to see this and will still approve your relationship!

 

[Mrs. Turan]

No it's ok. I try to look at things from all angles. I appreciate the common sense of it all. I just want to have some hope for us. I wish they could see it from my point of view. But thank you to everyone for their input on this subject.

 

[joecreosta]

did anyone feel earthquak in toronto

 

[bobshynoswife]

I understand you completely. This spousal sponsorship process requires us to do what seems like the impossible: we have to PROVE our love for one another to a complete stranger. How can such a thing be proven? Does the fact that someone has been fortunate enough to have hours a day talking to their husband mean that they are more in love and more committed than a couple who can only carve minutes away from their means of survival to talk to each other? Does a person who is from a visa-exempt country who can come visit for 6 months in Canada love their wife more than my husband who due to citizenship cannot receive a visitor visa loves me?

First they ask us to PROVE this love on paper. Then if that is not enough, they call our foreign partner into a high-stress interview where our partner knows their entire future is on the line. To make matters worse, this interview is more often used to try to discredit the relationship, rather than validate it.

My heart breaks for all of us long-distance spouses who's future happiness is in the hands of a stranger.

 

[tgchi13]

He has worked hard all of his life, loses sleep just to connect with me on a regular basis and I am his first love. Come on, isn't there anyone who can try to understand?

I understand. Before coming here, my American-born husband, with two master's degrees, thought that Vancouver was the name of the province...he knows my birthday is the end of December but always gets the date wrong. And I have to think through to get his birthdate correct starting with he's a virgo like my father but his birth month is August like my ex husband...We don't have kids, we have dogs and he occasionally calls or female the name of his previous female, but I've noticed I started mix up the names of our males.

But anyone trying to could answer those questions and not know the real important things - like my likes and dislikes, my dreams. hopes and fears, my allergies, what time to wake me and when I prefer to start work in the morning...how hot I like my bath, how cold I like my beer...

We can go shopping together and he knows exactly my taste, and my shoe size and my weight.

He's called me by his deceased wife's name twice, but I am mature enough to be okay with that because of how they were together; it's not an insult.

I could go on, but I won't. I'll just say this: I get it, and I too am leaving Canada to be with my husband.

Good luck.