harryiswaiting said:
Tunisianbride, that is horrible how much they have messed you about. I cannot believe they dragged it on for so long, particularly because of the cancellations. A big congratulations to you for your successful appeal and level of patience. You must understand especially well how heavy your heart can feel in this awful process.
I truly believe that this system discriminates. I was naive going into this process, but now have an understanding of how racism is alive and well. We are being treated like criminals for being in love with someone from another country. How can they reasonably expect people to be apart from their spouse/partner for so long? I have been reading through people's comments on this thread and it seems a common denominator is that the immigration officer ALWAYS lies to twist things into their own story and/or make totally preventable mistakes. We have to push back (with the help of a lawyer, if possible through this opaque process). PLEASE PEOPLE, ONCE YOU MAKE IT THROUGH AND HAVE YOUR PR, BE SURE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS PROCESS TO THE MANAGER AT YOUR OFFICE PROCESSING YOUR FILE AND ALSO YOU LOCAL MP. If people are not complaining, this will only continue and nothing will change. These immigration officers have far too much power to just click their fingers and have such a huge impact on a couple's/family's lives.
Thank you Harry. Yeah, it doesn't seem fair, but there have been a lot of people who have scammed immigration in the past, which makes it hard for us genuine couples now. A lot of the 'mostly' women, who have been used by 'mostly' men, from 'mostly' 3rd world countries, for a free ticket to come to Canada, have complained, picketed and harassed immigration for allowing their spouses to come to Canada, that immigration should've 'known' that they these lowlife scums were users. So now immigration has really cracked down on fraudulent marriages, and we're paying for it! I'm sure this is part of their reasoning for the way they do things, such as the numerous delays and cancellations. (can you believe that in July '12, my appeal didn't finish, because the MC had to leave early to pick up her kids at daycare!!?? And the Tribunal Member allowed this???)
Believe me, I'm not trying to condone how immigration treats us, because there's 'got' to be a better way, but I believe that if you're not a genuine couple, you'll never make it through the long and dragged out appeal process. They seem to refuse
every couple who have any kind of incompatibility these days, and then the VO's justify their refusals by fabricating everything which was said in the interview by our spouses. (then we are left to defend ourselves against a bunch of lies in the appeal!) Don't get me wrong, there were definitely times when I just wanted to give up - living your life in limbo for so long really takes a lot out of you. It eats away at your very soul and you begin to question everything about yourself - your marriage, your future, even your sanity! Years of my life, just gone, and for what? But you know, looking back at it all now, I have gotten to know my husband sooo much better in the last few years since he was refused. I thought I knew my husband so well when we married in Aug. '09, but I really didn't know him as well as I thought I did. But now, we know almost everything there is to know about each other, and our love has only gotten stronger, and believe it or not, I have the refusal to thank for this. The appeal process 'forces' you to get to know each other and to talk about things you'd never even 'think' to talk about. We spent hours every day for close to 3 years, just talking about each other's pasts, our lives growing up, each other's countries, our little annoyances, our interests and hobbies, our families, our friends, past relationships, likes and dislikes, future plans, you name it, we talked about it! (and this is important, if you want to win your appeal) I always try to look at the positive side of things, like maybe if we hadn't been refused, maybe, just maybe, our marriage wouldn't have survived. (because we 'did' marry in haste, because we were so much in love and couldn't wait to be together) Little did we know at the time, that getting married so fast (11 mths. after meeting on the internet), so we could be together sooner, would be one of the reasons we were refused. But I do know now, that since our marriage
has survived this appeal process, it can survive anything! I've never felt closer to my husband than I do now, even though he's 1,000's miles away, and yes, it's been very difficult living apart from him all this time, but thanks to God and the enduring love, patience & understanding of my husband, we made it, and if we made it, all you out there who are still waiting, can to! Hang in there and never give up hope. True love is eternal.
