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[soblue3]

Well, just look at most of the age difference cases here and on Canlii.org. 9 times out of 10, the younger spouse is the one being sponsored when there is a significant age difference. A much older Canadian spouse who marries abroad, is very likely not to marry someone his own age, rather someone much younger, because in Canada, he does not want to marry an old woman, but he knows he cannot get a younger woman either due to his age. But a younger woman abroad who desires to come live abroad, will take up that opportunity.

As for a younger Canadian spouse, he/she wouldn't choose to marry a much older spouse abroad when he/she can just simply find a younger companion in Canada. But that's usually not the case for an older Canadian spouse because they either don't want to find someone "old" like themselves, or they know they have no chance getting a 20 year old girlfriend in Canada. But a 20 year old girl living abroad in a developing country would probably be with that older Canadian because he can provide something men in her country cannot: permanent residence.

Just look at most of the age difference cases here and you'll see its usually the younger one being sponsored, and unfortuantely, its their cases that get a lot of scrutiny. When I'm describing age differences, I mean like 20+ years, something very signficant, not like 5+.

Actually i have read few cases on canlii where the husband is older does not matter whether he is the sponsor or not and the sponsorships are still not being approved...just out of curiosity what is your reason to marry a woman from Vietnam? I have seen you on this site like 2 years before you got married? is there any specific reason you trying to make you perfect case? and if an affluent person is able to marry exactly whom they like you think that it is because they can not do better here? lol...are you saying that only young hormone ridden couple can make the right choices regarding future partners? My husband is at least very intelligent, educated and extremely handsome...lol...why should i not want to merry him...and you know what is most important? he is civil, he does not have sociopathic tendencies to be rude or put other people down. and yes he is younger but i know he loves me. There are many marriages that are successful with more than 5 year age differences. it is very ignorant to say that only people of the same age have genuine relationships. it is also very ignorant to assume people who marry somebody younger are being suckered in.

 

[mikeymyke]

Why not? I'm Vietnamese, as is my wife. We both share same cultural views, have same education, speak same languages, only a 3 year difference, and most importantly, she's not interested in coming to Canada, she's only come there to be with me, because I wanted her to be there. She lived in the US for a long time, but returned home because she found it difficult to live over there (then again, she was in New York). Expenses were too high, and her parents couldn't afford to finance her education, and she can't work because she's on a student visa. When we were together, she kept insisting if I can go live there in Vietnam, but I have a great career here in Canada and I can support her extremely well. Right now she makes 5x the average Vietnamese salary, and she could support me if I was there, but I told her I want to be the one take care of her, thus wanting her to come Canada. And if my wife's PR is refused, you won't see me crying and losing sleep over it, the first thing I'll do is appeal it, and if the appeal fails, only then will I start to pack my bags and go live in Vietnam with her, and I'm more than willing to do it. At least the weather is nicer over there We married because we love each other, we didn't marry so that she can come to Canada, therefore, it really doesn't bother us if the PR application is successful or not.

I didn't rush to propose to my wife, and I certainly didn't rush to get married either (we married one year after the proposal). I also brought my entire family from Canada to Vietnam for the wedding (they all paid their own flight tickets to come, took time off work, didn't give any excuses like "Cannot take time off work for the most important day of my child's life, due to work"). My sister, 2 brothers, stepdad, mother (who cannot walk and needs a wheelchair), grandma, my stepdad's sister, and 2 family friends, all came to my wedding, spent their own money, took time off work to fly all the way to Vietnam for my wedding. Mind you, my siblings are all under 25, and they're just starting out their careers, their income is relatively modest, yet they were able to make it to my wedding. My wife's entire family and relatives, some coming from Australia and France, all came to our wedding too. We didn't choose to rush our wedding to get the PR done quickly like some people, we even moved our wedding date to a later month so that my Canadian family would be able to attend. During the year before our wedding, I even worked 2 jobs to save up for the wedding and be able to stay in VN for 2 months. I had to pay a $1200/month mortgage + expenses for 2 months, even though I wasn't living in my house during those times.

I wouldn't have dated her if she was much older or much younger than me (I was 27 when my wife and I were together). Too old means the woman is further away from child bearing age, and I want to have a family. Also too old would mean she would have more life experience than me, and would try to boss me around, tell me what to do in life, and I don't like that. Too young means the girl does not have enough life experience, does not know what love means, does not know how to plan her future, likely doesn't take life seriously enough, and I don't want that either. Having someone who's closer to my age means we both have similar life experiences and can learn and grow in the same way. Having someone who has the same culture, language, education, means I feel more compatible to her, and I can interact with her at my own level

I know my situation doesn't apply to everyone, and my situation maybe makes me less likely to have my case scrutinized by CIC compared to someone with more red flags, but honestly, like I said before, if a couple has a genuine relationship, the sponsored spouse should be allowed into the country no matter what, and even if you guys have age difference, as long as the rest of your application is solid, you WILL get PR. If you have more red flags, well then you just have a lot more work to do.

And sorry if you felt my last post was indicative of my views, but its really not. I'm just trying to show you what CIC may think. There's a reason they consider age differences red flags, as well as education differences and what not.

 

[soblue3]

very glad you said that...only thing your post made me think about...so if your wife was not of the perfect age you would not have married her? are you married to her because of her childbearing potential and because you want to be the boss in this relationship? sorry i am confused ...parts of your posts can be quite reasonable but other parts make you sound not very decent...lol...hope you really dont mean all that for your wifes sake.

 

[gango girl]

U r right about child gango girl. Child is a enough avidence to prove of genuineness.. but i tell u a hearing decision tht i ve read in appeal case at the link ...
Judge gave decision in the end of hearing tht appeal is rejected due to some reason n judge had also mentioned tht child is not a genuiness to prove relation.sponsor had kid with his wife. i was shocked when i read this .whatelse more they need for prove . I guess the case was early year of 2000 . But the judge said in the end and he rejected... u can search on "appeal cases of canada spouse" . So make ur file strong n have patience . U ll get soon .

thank u dear
i got that part from a case in 2012. the panel not only think of one thing. he is considering of all around so, who knows how its going on... bad luck or good luck........

 

[gango girl]

Actually it's true, having a child doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is genuine. If someone is really desperate to come to Canada, they won't hesitate to get pregnant to achieve that goal. Children can be given up for adoption. Having a child does help prove genuineness of relationship somewhat, but if the rest of the relationship background is very bad, then having a child won't help at all.

In the case that Hina 123 is referring to, the couple probably did not address their red flags, so the VO sees that even with a child, in the context of the entire relationship, the marriage is not genuine.

thats true dear if theres some other red flags & they have a child they dont even care of it

 

[Hina 123]

thank u dear
i got that part from a case in 2012. the panel not only think of one thing. he is considering of all around so, who knows how its going on... bad luck or good luck........

But gango girl. Im sure u ll win ur appeal and we wil listen soon tht u ll win.. :-*
Good luck.

 

[SenoritaBella]

Everyone has preferences and in some cases, culture plays a part. He would like to have a family and is saying it makes sense for him to go for someone who is closer in age to him. If you read this forum and CanLii database, you will find cases where the visa officer rejected an application because the woman(who is older and not of child-bearing age) is married to a much younger man, whose culture is such that when they marry, having children is part of the deal). It may sound "not very decent" but those are some of the realities of life, especially with this process vis-a-vis culture.

very glad you said that...only thing your post made me think about...so if your wife was not of the perfect age you would not have married her? are you married to her because of her childbearing potential and because you want to be the boss in this relationship? sorry i am confused ...parts of your posts can be quite reasonable but other parts make you sound not very decent...lol...hope you really dont mean all that for your wifes sake.

 

[soblue3]

Everyone has preferences and in some cases, culture plays a part. He would like to have a family and is saying it makes sense for him to go for someone who is closer in age to him. If you read this forum and CanLii database, you will find cases where the visa officer rejected an application because the woman(who is older and not of child-bearing age) is married to a much younger man, whose culture is such that when they marry, having children is part of the deal). It may sound "not very decent" but those are some of the realities of life, especially with this process vis-a-vis culture.

yes you are right but there are also case there where people of the same age get refused and some with the age differences get accepted..plus i have read many cases there so far so have a decent idea what to expect...however its very easy to be negative...and give negative comments about peoples age and other circumstances but not so easy to give productive advice and input. i would appreciate it more if somebody gave me some ideas which can help my case than focus on the fact that i said i married a younger man. Thanks in advance

 

[milenka]

yes you are right but there are also case there where people of the same age get refused and some with the age differences get accepted..plus i have read many cases there so far so have a decent idea what to expect...however its very easy to be negative...and give negative comments about peoples age and other circumstances but not so easy to give productive advice and input. i would appreciate it more if somebody gave me some ideas which can help my case than focus on the fact that i said i married a younger man. Thanks in advance

I have almost the same case like you dear my husband is 7 years younger but we are from the same country and religion so he got refused on interview but i won the appeal last month what are my advice he should prepare himself for interview very well sit together and remember all dates when you gays meet when decided to get married who proposed and when the names of your relatives your kids what they doing in Canada their age about your parents your work etc. it were the questions my husband was asked and don't expect them to be nice to him just prepare your husband they can be so rude during the interview and be sure that his answers are exactly the same what u have in application hope it will help a bit and good luck

 

[mikeymyke]

very glad you said that...only thing your post made me think about...so if your wife was not of the perfect age you would not have married her? are you married to her because of her childbearing potential and because you want to be the boss in this relationship? sorry i am confused ...parts of your posts can be quite reasonable but other parts make you sound not very decent...lol...hope you really dont mean all that for your wifes sake.

No problem soblue3, I'm happy to explain. If I ever meet a girl that I'm interested (not every girl that I chat with, that's just downright creepy), I'll always ask how old she is. Of course it's not the first thing I ask, but the question will pop up eventually during normal conversation. If she turns out to be much older or younger, I won't try to pursue a relationship and just continue normal conversation like we are just friends. If she's around my age, then I'd try to get to know her better, ask her out for more dates, and see where things go. I don't think this is strange at all, this is no different than a woman who prefers older men, an older woman preferring a younger man, a black man wanting a white woman, etc, I think all of that is cool and everyone should choose who they want to be with. I just happen to prefer women who are around my age. Maybe it's a selfish thing that part of the reason is the child bearing age thing, but its no different than for example, someone who wants to be with an older man because he can provide for her financially, someone who prefers dating within their own race because they feel more secure, or someone who prefers dating a lawyer instead of a McDonalds employee. Whatever your reason for choosing your partner, it shouldn't matter as long as you both are happy.

What I was trying to point out earlier is that it is unfortunate that if your relationship is outside of what is considered "normal", then your relationship will be scrutinized by CIC. Does it suck? Yes. Is it a perfect system? Hell no. Is there another way? Aside from living in your spouse's country, or allowing every single spouse into Canada regardless of how un-genuine their relationship is, probably not. But honestly, what else is CIC supposed to do? They're not mind readers, they just have to follow their own intuition, but it's also your job to convince them that you're genuine, and it shouldn't be a problem if you guys have a strong relationship background, red flags aside.

For me, I want to have a family. I want to have children, provide for them and my wife, watch them grow up, be happy together. It's a big priority for me, and my wife also shares my views, even though she's 25 yrs old, she says she wants to have them quickly because she feels she's getting "old" . And FYI, I don't try to be the boss in the relationship, I just don't want one side to be the boss, both should be equal (isn't that strange this is coming from a man?). I repeatedly tell my wife, when you're here, you have equal say in everything, I won't ever control you or tell you what to do, I just want you to be free and happy. She responds by saying, "You know Canada better than me, I will listen to what you have to say because you will know better than me". And I reply to her, "Even if I know better, I always want your opinion on everything I do that affects us"

I think this is something I'm very proud of, and doesn't make me a bad guy at all, as most men in relationships prefer to be the boss.

 

[soblue3]

I have almost the same case like you dear my husband is 7 years younger but we are from the same country and religion so he got refused on interview but i won the appeal last month what are my advice he should prepare himself for interview very well sit together and remember all dates when you gays meet when decided to get married who proposed and when the names of your relatives your kids what they doing in Canada their age about your parents your work etc. it were the questions my husband was asked and don't expect them to be nice to him just prepare your husband they can be so rude during the interview and be sure that his answers are exactly the same what u have in application hope it will help a bit and good luck

Thank you so much. Yes by now i kind of have an idea it will not be an easy road for us. I did what i can, he is just reviewing all the information, we found a nice translator just to help him out if he needs is and i am preparing him that the vo maybe not very polite. its very hard for me to just sit in canada...well whatever happens i am scheduled to go to him in august. We will probably file for appeal before that. But right now i am just praying that by some miracle we will be ok. Thanks so much for your kind words and advice. I am so happy to hear that you won the appeal. I wish you a happy life.

 

[soblue3]

No problem soblue3, I'm happy to explain. If I ever meet a girl that I'm interested (not every girl that I chat with, that's just downright creepy), I'll always ask how old she is. Of course it's not the first thing I ask, but the question will pop up eventually during normal conversation. If she turns out to be much older or younger, I won't try to pursue a relationship and just continue normal conversation like we are just friends. If she's around my age, then I'd try to get to know her better, ask her out for more dates, and see where things go. I don't think this is strange at all, this is no different than a woman who prefers older men, an older woman preferring a younger man, a black man wanting a white woman, etc, I think all of that is cool and everyone should choose who they want to be with. I just happen to prefer women who are around my age. Maybe it's a selfish thing that part of the reason is the child bearing age thing, but its no different than for example, someone who wants to be with an older man because he can provide for her financially, someone who prefers dating within their own race because they feel more secure, or someone who prefers dating a lawyer instead of a McDonalds employee. Whatever your reason for choosing your partner, it shouldn't matter as long as you both are happy.

What I was trying to point out earlier is that it is unfortunate that if your relationship is outside of what is considered "normal", then your relationship will be scrutinized by CIC. Does it suck? Yes. Is it a perfect system? Hell no. Is there another way? Aside from living in your spouse's country, or allowing every single spouse into Canada regardless of how un-genuine their relationship is, probably not. But honestly, what else is CIC supposed to do? They're not mind readers, they just have to follow their own intuition, but it's also your job to convince them that you're genuine, and it shouldn't be a problem if you guys have a strong relationship background, red flags aside.

For me, I want to have a family. I want to have children, provide for them and my wife, watch them grow up, be happy together. It's a big priority for me, and my wife also shares my views, even though she's 25 yrs old, she says she wants to have them quickly because she feels she's getting "old" . And FYI, I don't try to be the boss in the relationship, I just don't want one side to be the boss, both should be equal (isn't that strange this is coming from a man?). I repeatedly tell my wife, when you're here, you have equal say in everything, I won't ever control you or tell you what to do, I just want you to be free and happy. She responds by saying, "You know Canada better than me, I will listen to what you have to say because you will know better than me". And I reply to her, "Even if I know better, I always want your opinion on everything I do that affects us"

I think this is something I'm very proud of, and doesn't make me a bad guy at all, as most men in relationships prefer to be the boss.

well thats nice to hear because in a modern western country things work out much better if both partners in a relationship can communicate and compromise so everybody is happy, and sure i understand perfectly well that people have their preferences regarding age..i also fall into that category believe me...i am not after younger guys...lol. after finding out my husbands age i actually wanted to stop this...but we both could not...we did not at that time think of immigration or any of this stuff. Sometimes it happens i guess that you fall in love regardless of where you are. or regardless of reasonable age difference. I hope you dont misunderstand...there are limits of course ..my husband is older than you...lol. but we found so much in common regardless of our differences that we could not stay away. we have been talking every day for over 2 years and we dont seem to be tired of it and still have much to say to each other. we talk for more 2 hours at least. We share plenty of interest and made plenty of plans. and it is not impossible that we could have a child and if it does not happen there are ways to go about it. The point here is we love each other for no other reason that for who we are and how we make each other feel. it does not happen often in life that one meets such a person and feels so close to them with total understanding. We seem to think a like so even when we had language barrier in the beginning somehow we managed to understand.
the thing that pisses me off most ..is that people who dont even know how big the age difference is assume things just because i am older than him. to be honest i was not eager to start any relationships...if thats what i was looking for i would have started one here. It was completely random and spontaneous ..we did not stage anything and we did not prepare for immigration. we are just regular people who happened to fall in love and who want to be together. I know enough about human nature to be able to figure out who is genuine and who is not. My husband is a professor of arabic music in his own country. On top of that he got additional job offers from various places in the gulf. He refused them for me...do you think he will be able to keep his status in Canada? Do you really think that he is so ignorant to not be able to see how people in canada hussle many working 2 jobs. Sure canada is a good place but is not the only one and there are places where people seem much happier. I also have a citizenship in an european country..so i can move..but i am established here...so thats why i would prefer if we can try to live here first. But we talked about possibly moving back to his country in the future or try and live a bit here and a bit there. He is making a sacrifice for me really. On the other hand i would also be sacrificing if i go there..but we are willing to work things out. There is no guarantees that he is going to love it here. So i would appreciate if people think a little before making harmful assumptions about us our age difference and all that.

 

[mikeymyke]

Joan, my dear, nobody's assuming things, only CIC assumes things because they do not have a crystal ball, so they have to make assumptions based on what they see.

Maybe you're just feeling nervous because the interview is coming up soon, if you and your husband really feel so strongly about your relationship as you mentioned, then really this interview should be a piece of cake, because you should be able to easily counter every single red flag the interviewer will present, so try not to worry so much. One lesson I've learned in life, is that don't worry about what others think, just worry about what you think.

I'll be waiting patiently on this forum to see how you guys did on the interview, and seeing as how strongly you support your relationship, I'm confident you guys will pass it with flying colors. Good luck.

 

[Hina 123]

Hi everyone .. plz help me out.i wanna know about ECAS status.. its been 25 days to received decision letter from court but my E CAS stauts is stil not showing anything.. what do ido ? Im much worried plz guide me :''(

 

[Vijender_Rana]

Hi everyone .. plz help me out.i wanna know about ECAS status.. its been 25 days to received decision letter from court but my E CAS stauts is stil not showing anything.. what do ido ? Im much worried plz guide me :''(

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