Member88 said:
Hi Habibti,
I am in Toronto, and today we got the refusal letter for my husband in Rabat, we both so upset and don't know how we are going to wait another year “maybe more”, we have applied on October 2011, and now we have go through the appeal process, it is so unfair that one person decide the fate of a family just like that........... do you have any advice for me pleassse since you went thorough the same circumstances
Hi Member 88! I am very sorry you got the refusal letter. I can imagine and feel your pain! I went through all that! You feel like your life is over. Believe me... it is not over! I went through a roller-coaster of emotions for 6 weeks. The hardest part was that my husband was in so much pain that he pulled away from me for a few weeks and sometimes 4 or 5 days over a period of 4 months. We got the refusal letter on November 14 and on our first wedding anniversary (December 24) we got the CAIPS notes. Tell me... what are the reasons of the refusal?
I agree with you, totally! It is unfair that someone decides the fate of your life together! How can they read in people's mind or heart? How can they destroy what we have built and hoped for so long? A marriage is a sacred thing between God and your spouse. I hate it when someone interferes.
After a couple of months in deep pain, I snapped out of it. It is important you "live" the grief, the sadness and the anger. Don't keep it inside. Talk to someone or write. Order your notes and find a very good immigration consultant. The appeal process is a bit complex and stressful. You need someone to guide you through it. Someone who knows how to write the report for appeal and someone articulate enough who knows what to say and not what to say. Someone knowledgeable enough to know what are the best moves in your approach.
You will live the pain, acute pain for some time. Try to rest as much as possible. After you feel your strength coming back, have a plan of action. Like I told you order your notes and see what went wrong during the process. Do you have the possibility to visit your husband again so you can have enough evidences for the appeal? The last time I saw my husband was August 5. I am going to Morocco end of June and will stay there until the first week of September. We are going to take lots of pictures. One year away from my husband is cruel. To survive mentally and emotionally, I worked a lot and I set a goal for each month so I don't feel the weight of time and distance on me. Believe me... it goes fast!!! Still 69 days and I will be with my husband. I cannot believe how fast it went! But you have to keep busy and set some goals. Otherwise you will go crazy.
I am there for you if you need a "listening ear" or if you have anymore questions. I wrote often on this forum to express my pain. It helped as many people here encourage you and know what you are going through.