39 year age gap

[ImABule]

Thanks Lons, Will do that and i hope so much it will help but what are some of the common problems age-gap relationships can present? It would be good to know and then we can show we don't have them. We have no problems with ours. We are both single, never married, no kids and we both enjoy a simple life, home, yard, garden, walks, pets....

Compatibility is probably the biggest issue you need to address.

You will need to show that even with nearly 4 decades of age difference, that you and your partner are still compatible with each other and demonstrate that you are in a genuine and loving relationship.

As Mikeymyke said and others have said, the rest of your relationship looks good, but the age gap and the obvious compatibility doubts it will cast on the visa officer processing your file are what you need to overcome.

To put it in perspective, my wife is 9 years younger than me, and I thought that might be an issue needing to be addressed, which we did in our application. You will need put more than 4x the effort into convincing the visa officer that the age gap doesn't matter.

If you can successfully show that regardless of the age difference that you otherwise function just as any other genuine couple does, I don't think you will have a problem.

 

[canadianwoman]

The age-gap itself is the problem. You and she should explain in your relationship letters that you two do not care about the age difference, that you have discussed your future (such as whether to have kids, where to live, what to do if the PR application is denied, etc.), and that you both are deeply in love and the age difference is not a barrier. That is, the visa officer wants to see 1. that the age difference does not matter to you, and 2. that you have discussed this issue, and have a realistic plan for your lives together.

Discussion of your plans for the future should not revolve around the age issue, of course, but showing the visa officer that you have discussed what you both want out of your life together goes a long way to showing the relationship is real.

Discussing the interests you share will also help, as will showing what you do during your daily life.

 

[canphil]

Thank you canadianwoman, we are working on doing that. writing letter to stress that age is not an issue with us at all.

Also, it is me who needs to return to Canada not my spouse. I just cannot go back alone without her. Will the VO not realize that it is not her that is determined to go to Canada, we are happy living here, but it is me who needs to go back. And if he does realize that, how can it be thought of as a fraud??

 

[Aquakitty]

Actually, if she was 20, he'd be 59 with a 39 year age difference.

Oh lord. That's what I get for posting at 2 am. Anyways, to the OP, I'll stand by my original assessment. It's possible, but probably going to be harder than your average application. Prepare to wait a good while.

I wonder if it would be possible for her to get a visitor's visa, so you can apply inland. Does she work? Have property/lease/land? Is her family in the Philippines? All those things could help her get a visit visa.

Thank you canadianwoman, we are working on doing that. writing letter to stress that age is not an issue with us at all.

Also, it is me who needs to return to Canada not my spouse. I just cannot go back alone without her. Will the VO not realize that it is not her that is determined to go to Canada, we are happy living here, but it is me who needs to go back. And if he does realize that, how can it be thought of as a fraud??

And that is what I said on the first page. The 18 months in Philippines might be enough to cancel out the age gap. Provide HARD evidence of your co-habitation and conjugal relationship. I mean evidence you are living as a husband and wife, not just "roommates".

Also, you should still add proof of your plans to return to Canada as well, though. Any of these things missing could delay your application.

 

[canadianwoman]

That you are actually in her country and living with her is a good piece of evidence that the relationship is real. You should include a lot of proof about your life together in the Philippines and how happy you two are. The visa officers also sometimes ask what the couple will do if the PR application is denied. You can mention that you have discussed this issue, and if it is denied you two have decided to stay together in the Philippines or some other country. (If you can in fact stay longer than two years.)

I think that you will need more evidence that the relationship is genuine than the average applicant from the Philippines would need, but you should be able to provide this, since you are there with her. Other people have been approved with large age gaps, so please don't feel too discouraged.

 

[canphil]

Thanks Aquakitty.... we will try hard.... we know we are genuine but want to do our best to avoid interview to not cause major delay because I need to return to Canada in less than 2 years

By the way, this is our 39 year age gap.. to us and to our friends, they do not see it. Will the VO see it and does it make a difference?

 

[canadianwoman]

When you read appeals, and other immigration materials, you can often see that the visa officer made judgment calls based on the couple's appearance. So I have read statements like 'she looks too old for him', 'they don't seem to match', 'it's like she married the pool boy', and so on. Likewise, if the couple does seem to 'match', the visa officer will notice that. You look younger than your age, and the two of you seem well-matched. If in the photos you submit, you look happy to be together, comfortable with each other, and affectionate - as in this photo here - this will help your case.

 

[ImABule]

When you read appeals, and other immigration materials, you can often see that the visa officer made judgment calls based on the couple's appearance. So I have read statements like 'she looks too old for him', 'they don't seem to match', 'it's like she married the pool boy', and so on. Likewise, if the couple does seem to 'match', the visa officer will notice that. You look younger than your age, and the two of you seem well-matched. If in the photos you submit, you look happy to be together, comfortable with each other, and affectionate - as in this photo here - this will help your case.

Agreed. If I didn't know there was 39 year difference I definitely wouldn't think so just randomly seeing that picture.

Canphil, You two do look well matched

 

[Lons]

Thanks Aquakitty.... we will try hard.... we know we are genuine but want to do our best to avoid interview to not cause major delay because I need to return to Canada in less than 2 years

By the way, this is our 39 year age gap.. to us and to our friends, they do not see it. Will the VO see it and does it make a difference?

Awww! I would certainly say you guys are well matched To answer your question from before, there are a lot of common relationship struggles that can be related to age-gaps. I think the biggest issue would be compatibility. Where do your and your wife's interests overlap? Do you share hobbies? What types of activities do you do together? What kind of time to you spend separately? Are there things that you're interested in or your wife is interested in that the other is not? I think it's expected that you'll have some interests that your wife doesn't share and visa-versa. I mean, my husband is 3 years older than me and he has some hobbies that don't interest me, it's common in every relationship. How does your respective families feel about the relationship? Do you have parents, brothers, sisters that have met your spouse? In my opinion, it's in your favor that you don't have children or a previous spouse, also. What about her family? How do her parents and siblings and other relatives feel about your relationship? Being in the Philippines, you've surely met her family and friends? Have them write letters in support of your relationship. They should be honest, of course, but if they know you're in a genuine relationship, it would be good for the VO to see that you have the support of your family and friends - both of your respective family and friends.

 

[ScottishPolish]

Thanks Aquakitty.... we will try hard.... we know we are genuine but want to do our best to avoid interview to not cause major delay because I need to return to Canada in less than 2 years

By the way, this is our 39 year age gap.. to us and to our friends, they do not see it. Will the VO see it and does it make a difference?

This is what I would suggest - don't just count on other applicants from the same country and their experiences. There's a lot you can learn from others who have gone through this process as well. We all have our own experiences and stress factors. I think you should go through everything you can find on this website - and expect an interview. Because the age gap is going to for sure be a flag. So the more prepared you are the more likely you are to be able to handle any obstacles you might be faced with. Read the section on interviews because that way you can prepare for any question that they might ask you, and submit the information that might cause questions with your application. It will really depend on the officer assigned to your file. But in our case they read every single page of our application, which was 550 pages. And put labels on questions or doubts or what they thought were "red flags". And we only have a 4 year age difference. My husband saw the full file with the flags on it when he was in his interview.

The main point is this: if you have a genuine relationship, it will be very easy to prove, even if you do have an interview - they will see that its real almost as soon as they look at you. So try to relax, take a deep breath, and start putting the information together....the more you have, the better. We used a lawyer and he got on our case about not enough pictures - and we had over 100 - put about 2 on each page, and write something underneath each one describing where you were, what you were doing etc. Feel free to ask any questions about what our lawyer did, suggested, told us to do to make sure our file was complete. I'd be happy to share - to be honest, he was really kickass, made us think of things we never would have thought about. Make your file as complete as possible -

 

[mikeymyke]

It's true, if you guys really have a genuine relationship, the interview should be a breeze. She would be able to answer questions about you without hesitation and with confidence, and that will lead them to believe she genuinely loves you. This will all happen naturally.

Having pics like the one you just show also helps too. I've seen GCMS notes where the VOs are concerned as to why the couples do not look like they're happy with each other, or just doing a basic pose with no hugging or touching, etc.

Also one little tip is at the interview, they'll likely ask her "If I refuse your application, what will you do?". She should NOT say that Canada is the only option, or that she can only be happy with you if you guys live in Canada. She should say that she's only marrying you because of you, not for immigration, thus if they refuse, she would just live with you in Philippines, and then just give a basic outline as to what you would be doing there to support yourselves while living there.

 

[NinaInOT]

Is the age gap only a red flag if the applicant is coming from a non-visa exempt country? My BF and I have a 25 year age gap. I'm from the U.S and he's born and raised here in Ottawa

 

[scylla]

Is the age gap only a red flag if the applicant is coming from a non-visa exempt country? My BF and I have a 25 year age gap. I'm from the U.S and he's born and raised here in Ottawa

It's relevant for all countries - however the context also matters. For example, if the spouse is from a country that's more or less at the same level economically as Canada (e.g. UK, US) - then it's likely to matter a lot less. You shouldn't have issues provided you provide good relationship proof.

 

[Lady_Ashka]

We have a 15 year gap between us (my husband, the sponsor, is older - 45, I'm 30), but we're both academics (have PhDs) and share lots of interests, so I am hoping all will be well (I asked about us some time ago and got some great answers, and am very happy to see the same knowledgeable people answer here!)

I have a general question, though, because from what I'm reading here and in other threads, of how officers handling the applications react to some things, I wonder where is the sweet spot to make them see the genuine nature of a relationship. Because, for instance, like in our case, you can seen from our texts that the early ones after I moved in were much more typical (like: "wanna eat out?" or: "do we need anything from the store?" ), and gradually became more affectionate - to be honest, I'm not sure why! (minus the ones when we were away, these were obviously more affectionate). I guess what I'm trying to say is that some people are less or more affectionate, or show feelings less through, say, texts, and more in real life, and trying to show more affection in texts etc just because one knows officers will find it suspicious that there isn't enough is, to me, a bit weird although I realize that tangible evidence is all they have to rely on when assessing a case. I suppose I'm now worried a bit if our messages and other evidence will seem genuine enough! Also, it's actually kind of funny, but when I met him, 6 years ago, he already had greyish hair (at the age of 39, they actually go grey quickly in his family, his mum was grey at the age of 25!), and now I suppose I also worry that they will think we're not a great match because of the way we look (though I find that preposterous!) - can that be somehow fixed, or do you think we should also expect an interview? (I didn't actually think that the way we look might affect anything, but now I'm worried :/)

 

[Sous02]

We have a 15 year gap between us (my husband, the sponsor, is older - 45, I'm 30), but we're both academics (have PhDs) and share lots of interests, so I am hoping all will be well (I asked about us some time ago and got some great answers, and am very happy to see the same knowledgeable people answer here!)

I have a general question, though, because from what I'm reading here and in other threads, of how officers handling the applications react to some things, I wonder where is the sweet spot to make them see the genuine nature of a relationship. Because, for instance, like in our case, you can seen from our texts that the early ones after I moved in were much more typical (like: "wanna eat out?" or: "do we need anything from the store?" ), and gradually became more affectionate - to be honest, I'm not sure why! (minus the ones when we were away, these were obviously more affectionate). I guess what I'm trying to say is that some people are less or more affectionate, or show feelings less through, say, texts, and more in real life, and trying to show more affection in texts etc just because one knows officers will find it suspicious that there isn't enough is, to me, a bit weird although I realize that tangible evidence is all they have to rely on when assessing a case. I suppose I'm now worried a bit if our messages and other evidence will seem genuine enough! Also, it's actually kind of funny, but when I met him, 6 years ago, he already had greyish hair (at the age of 39, they actually go grey quickly in his family, his mum was grey at the age of 25!), and now I suppose I also worry that they will think we're not a great match because of the way we look (though I find that preposterous!) - can that be somehow fixed, or do you think we should also expect an interview? (I didn't actually think that the way we look might affect anything, but now I'm worried :/)

You are probably better off than those that send romantic loving messages. After all which is more realistic? Vo's like to see couples talking about real life just like the examples you gave. You will be fine.