IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
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You must read previous essay reviews, to understand about task achievement.
however, you could say, I opine that, or My personal opinion is, which would be direct answer to "give your opinion"
it is good, when you are writing a agree disagree essay, and doing it to make your supported viewpoint stronger.
your conclusion conclude nothing, you need to prove something at the end, you have close the discussion. make it complete. If reader is wondering at the end, it means you are done with 6.5 bands.
everything is fine, but " I agree" see nobody asked you to agree or disagree with something.
however, you could say, I opine that, or My personal opinion is, which would be direct answer to "give your opinion"
if it is discuss both views, I guess you are supposed to support both views, but you example here is conceding, contradicting your first view
it is good, when you are writing a agree disagree essay, and doing it to make your supported viewpoint stronger.
no big issues, fine.
it is not advantages or disadvantages essay.
your conclusion conclude nothing, you need to prove something at the end, you have close the discussion. make it complete. If reader is wondering at the end, it means you are done with 6.5 bands.
Guys, I am back with the new essay please evaluate with a band prediction.
@H0peAndFa1th @artificial.nocturne @cansha
Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.
What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?
Parents tend to provide their children with plenty of toys. This essay will suggest that buying a large no of toys makes the children build greater intelligence is the biggest advantage of this and children develop an introvert personality is the primary disadvantage.
Kids are bought a big no of toys by their parents so that they utilize their mind continuously to learn new things. Now a days the toys available in the market are more of intelligence based toys where kids have to think wisely and use their mind to be able to play with toys and it is a known fact that more the mind is utilized more the sharper it becomes. For example, a Rubik’s cube is the kind of toy where, to match the specific colour pattern the player is supposed to think of different patterns and the way to arrange the cube in such a way that all the sides have the same colour on all its rectangles.
Despite the advantages, playing with the toys have created a sense of reservedness in the kids. More the kids are engaged with the toys more they remain inside the house and don’t tend to go out and socialize with other kids this, in turn, causes them to become shy and reserved. A recent survey carried out by local children society reveals that the kids who tend to play more with toys and remain inside their house have a sense of reserved and fill shy to face big gatherings.
In conclusion, guardians offering plenty of toys can be advantageous for kids to make them brilliant, however, they must be careful about the choice of the toys as kids engaged in playing with the toys show a sense of reservedness.
@H0peAndFa1th @artificial.nocturne @cansha
Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.
What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?
Parents tend to provide their children with plenty of toys. This essay will suggest that buying a large no of toys makes the children build greater intelligence is the biggest advantage of this and children develop an introvert personality is the primary disadvantage.
Kids are bought a big no of toys by their parents so that they utilize their mind continuously to learn new things. Now a days the toys available in the market are more of intelligence based toys where kids have to think wisely and use their mind to be able to play with toys and it is a known fact that more the mind is utilized more the sharper it becomes. For example, a Rubik’s cube is the kind of toy where, to match the specific colour pattern the player is supposed to think of different patterns and the way to arrange the cube in such a way that all the sides have the same colour on all its rectangles.
Despite the advantages, playing with the toys have created a sense of reservedness in the kids. More the kids are engaged with the toys more they remain inside the house and don’t tend to go out and socialize with other kids this, in turn, causes them to become shy and reserved. A recent survey carried out by local children society reveals that the kids who tend to play more with toys and remain inside their house have a sense of reserved and fill shy to face big gatherings.
In conclusion, guardians offering plenty of toys can be advantageous for kids to make them brilliant, however, they must be careful about the choice of the toys as kids engaged in playing with the toys show a sense of reservedness.
Guys.....anyone ??Hi guys
Please share your reviews
@artificial.nocturne @H0peAndFa1th @cansha and all others
Write about the following topic :
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion.
There are two popular schools of thought when it comes to educating children. One believes that it is best to educate children at home while the other , and the more popular one, believes that education should be imparted at schools. This essay will discuss the positives of both and will also conclude which one is better.
It is no secret that children begin their learning at home. Many people argue that this should be continued instead of sending them to school. Teaching at home allows children to set their own pace and results in lesser expenses for parents. Children also get time to explore a lot of other activities apart from studies if they are being taught at home.
School education, on the other hand, is the more popular method and majority of parents choose this for their children. School exposes children to real world and also allows them to be taught by experts who have gathered expertise in their particular fields. In spite of being expensive and more stressful , school education results in better returns as it follows a set structure and prepares children to face a variety of challenges.
In conclusion, I would state that in spite of having some flaws in terms of time and cost, school education is a better bet when compared to home education. In fact, it becomes even more effective if used in conjunction with some teaching at home. Parents should devote a portion of their time to review the progress and problems of the child . They should visit the school often to ensure that their child is on right track and should spend some time teaching them softer aspects of life, such as values and morals at home.
Thanks a lot for your comments!
Will this type of a conclusion work?
Some people believe that capital punishment should never be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
"To conclude, the detrimental effect of capital punishment in terms of the impossibility to be recovered overshadows any advantage, including possible crime reduction. Therefore, I strongly believe that death penalty should be forbidden by legislative officials and should not be implemented in any case."
On the cover, your conclusion has more words than the main paragraphs. It would affect your score in Logical Structure domain.
For main paragraphs first try to pick one centralized idea and expand it with examples..Like for Home teaching - Focus attention- every child has different pace. and for Schools - exposure to outside world.
And in the end of each paragraphs you may supplement with another idea.. Like.. "Another advantage of teaching at home is that its gives children time to explore other activities apart from studies..."
Second paragraphs, you have two ideas.. exposes children to real world, & taught by experts.. both good points and were sufficient. No need to write disadvantages... was not asked in the question.
In Conclusion you mention about teaching softer aspects of life at home. but that was not mentioned in the body paragraphs. Conclusion is summarizing and should not be about giving new ideas.
Thanks for the suggestions. This was my first essay, will surely work on these points . Would you want to give any band estimation for this essay ?
also how's this as a conclusion( only if you mention social aspects teaching in body paragraph 1)
In my opinion, it becomes even more effective if school education is used in conjunction with teaching at home. Rather than individually selecting any one of these, benefits of both can be utilized to give thorough education to children. Given the formal teaching received from the experts in the industry, parents can focus on teaching children softer/social aspects of life.
In my opinion, it becomes even more effective if school education is used in conjunction with teaching at home. Rather than individually selecting any one of these, benefits of both can be utilized to give thorough education to children. Given the formal teaching received from the experts in the industry, parents can focus on teaching children softer/social aspects of life.
Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants.
Do you agree or disagree?
Eating healthy and tasty food is everyone’s first choice to become fit and healthy. Some are of the view that single people and family should opt for preparing and having food at home while other things otherwise. I certainly assert this notion as preparing and eating home is not only healthy but also economical unlike eating out.
Fresh vegetables and oils are of the paramount importance in order to harness the real nutrient of the food however, It is almost unlikely that consumer can gauge the quality for content which was being used for the food we intake in restaurants and cafes. Additionally, having a meal out at your best cafe or restaurant is often an expensive affair for an normal income person which could easily disturb the finance for whole month.
On the other hand, preparing food home surely ensures us the quality of the food that we are eating. As we know our food ingredient, specially vegetables and oil better as to, how and how much to use in order to prepare healthy and tasty meal. Also, as far as opting for ingredient is concern, people can certainly shop for better quality material which is good for cuisine and healthy. Furthermore, it also allow people to save enough amount of money, when they eat home because food raw material and staples are usually affordable since brought in quantity.
All things said, preparing food and eating home usually ensure best quality food due to usage of optimum quality ingredients and cheap also since only raw material is needed to prepare food which is affordable.
@artificial.nocturne @H0peAndFa1th @cansha and all others please view..
I have sorted pointed issues and wrote this in 35 Minutes - Good to get 7 this time or more
Do you agree or disagree?
Eating healthy and tasty food is everyone’s first choice to become fit and healthy. Some are of the view that single people and family should opt for preparing and having food at home while other things otherwise. I certainly assert this notion as preparing and eating home is not only healthy but also economical unlike eating out.
Fresh vegetables and oils are of the paramount importance in order to harness the real nutrient of the food however, It is almost unlikely that consumer can gauge the quality for content which was being used for the food we intake in restaurants and cafes. Additionally, having a meal out at your best cafe or restaurant is often an expensive affair for an normal income person which could easily disturb the finance for whole month.
On the other hand, preparing food home surely ensures us the quality of the food that we are eating. As we know our food ingredient, specially vegetables and oil better as to, how and how much to use in order to prepare healthy and tasty meal. Also, as far as opting for ingredient is concern, people can certainly shop for better quality material which is good for cuisine and healthy. Furthermore, it also allow people to save enough amount of money, when they eat home because food raw material and staples are usually affordable since brought in quantity.
All things said, preparing food and eating home usually ensure best quality food due to usage of optimum quality ingredients and cheap also since only raw material is needed to prepare food which is affordable.
@artificial.nocturne @H0peAndFa1th @cansha and all others please view..
I have sorted pointed issues and wrote this in 35 Minutes - Good to get 7 this time or more
Comments: There are grammatical errors in the essay, ideas are not fully developed, appropriate examples are not provided, a good amount of linking words used. The conclusion is weak. Certainly, it is a Band 6 essay.Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and the family than eating out in restaurants.
Do you agree or disagree?
Eating healthy and tasty food is everyone’s first choice to become ("keep" is the more appropriate word here) fit and healthy. Some are of the view that single people and family should opt for preparing and having food at home while other things (thinks) otherwise (paraphrasing of the complete sentence must be done "other thinks otherwise" does not actually tell that you are talking of eating at a restaurant. I certainly assert this notion as preparing and eating (at) home is not only healthy but also economical unlike eating out.
Fresh vegetables and oils are of the paramount importance in order to harness the real nutrient of the food, (missing comma) however, It (it) is almost unlikely that consumer can gauge the quality for the content which was being (decide in which tense you want to write the sentence) used for the food we intake in restaurants and cafes (in this sentence you first mentioned about customer and switched to we). No examples to support the explanation? Additionally, having a meal out at your best cafe or restaurant is often an expensive affair for an (a) normal income person which could easily disturb the finance for the whole month (don't add any second idea until you fully explain the main idea, ideally one idea is suggested with explanation and example).
On the other hand, preparing food at home surely ensures (both these words don't go together) us the quality of the food that we are eating. As we know our food (as we are aware of the ingredients) ingredient, specially (can use the word "specifically" over "specially") vegetables and oil better as to, how and how much to use in order to prepare a healthy and tasty meal. Also, as far as opting for (the) ingredient is concern (concerned), people can certainly shop for better quality material which is good for cuisine and healthy (health). Furthermore, it also allow (allows) people to save enough amount of money, (the comma is not required) when they eat (at) home because food raw material and staples are usually affordable since brought in quantity (less or more quantity?). (again added another idea without fully explaining the main idea)
All things said, preparing food and eating (at) home usually ensure (ensures the best) best quality food due to (the) usage of optimum (superior quality, "optimum" is generally used with quantity) quality ingredients and cheap also (sentence can be completed without adding also) since only (the) raw material is needed to prepare food which is affordable.
@artificial.nocturne @H0peAndFa1th @cansha and all others please view..
I have sorted pointed issues and wrote this in 35 Minutes - Good to get 7 this time or more
Suggestion: Initially don't write the essays in time limit of 30-40 minute first learn to write a fully well developed essay then, try to complete it in the time limits. Read a few good modal essays, refer IELTS Liz or IELTS advantage or any suitable website, please remember which ever website you select stick to it, don't try to read and study from different sources.
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Thanks for this help my dear friend : You are great!
Thanks for this and I am concluding what I have learnt through this forum (Special Thanks for H0peAndFa1th, Cansha, velocityblood
and other sources like Liz, Jay and Simon and reading band 9 essay) in order to write band7 or above essay)
Intro :
Generic Line : If prompt is of one line (not mandatory)
Paraphrase the prompt with good vocab and sentence
Agree Disagree Essay (option 1 or option 2): If you agree with option 1 then write why you agree with option 1 and disagree with option 2 (basically lacking of !). Let examiner know little bill in intro itself what you are going to write (macro level words/terms like safety, poverty, economical support : subjected to topic )in follow paragraphs.
Agree with option 2 : Reverse
Problem Solution: Tell core issue and macro solution : which can be explained in Body para
Discuss both View : Include Macro level views.
Compare : Follow agree / disagree Pattern.
Keep your opinion clear and short and maintain it tonality throughout the essay
BP1 : write which you disagree(not supported side) or Problem cause. Stick to one IDEA and explain it to all possibilities and support with example.
BP2 : Reverse the side of BP1 and stick to one IDEA and explain it to all possibilities and support with example.
Conclusion: Repeat you intro but beautifully and with more range of vocab.
PS : check grammar, preposition, complex statement, conditional statement and yes no spelling errors.
Stick to One IDEA Per Para AND DEVELOP IT PROPERLY.
Please let me know if my thoughts are wrong and lacking anything - will surely inculcate the same as striving for 7 in writing.
I
Some people believe that capital punishment should never be used.
Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Punishment have been an ideal way to deal with crime and to maintain law and order since ages.Some are of the view that death penalty shouldn’t be imposed to human for any sought of crime however, other advocates that penalties like sentenced to death can be given to rare and severe law violation. I opine that, severeness of penalty is subjected to how critical the crime was undertaken by the accused.
Life execution should be redundant to any sort of criminal, be it a circumstantial or sessioned offender because there is a no offense worth taking a life as everyone should get an another chance chance in order to overcome his wrongdoing and contribute back to the society. There has been instances when upon giving second chances by offering rehabilitation session, offenders actually return to their regular life. To exemplify, upto 10% serious offender made back to society after receiving less harsh sentence and rehabilitation in USA in 2018.
On the other hand, it would be a practical and define by nation’s jurisdiction to impose life punishment to few and very crucial crimes like rape and murder in order to set punishment benchmark in the society so that criminal can consider its consequences while committing these deadly crimes. Therefore, it is evident that when people hear or read about any such legal execution and the strictness of the law and order of the nation, they tend to abide by it. To exemplify, people are ceased to carry out any illegal act are threat of punishment.
All things said, life execution should not be permissible for any criminal activity considering everyone is entitled for a second chance to recover from it and return to society while other including I support the imprisonment based on the severity of crime.
Hope this goes for 7>>>>help please
Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Punishment have been an ideal way to deal with crime and to maintain law and order since ages.Some are of the view that death penalty shouldn’t be imposed to human for any sought of crime however, other advocates that penalties like sentenced to death can be given to rare and severe law violation. I opine that, severeness of penalty is subjected to how critical the crime was undertaken by the accused.
Life execution should be redundant to any sort of criminal, be it a circumstantial or sessioned offender because there is a no offense worth taking a life as everyone should get an another chance chance in order to overcome his wrongdoing and contribute back to the society. There has been instances when upon giving second chances by offering rehabilitation session, offenders actually return to their regular life. To exemplify, upto 10% serious offender made back to society after receiving less harsh sentence and rehabilitation in USA in 2018.
On the other hand, it would be a practical and define by nation’s jurisdiction to impose life punishment to few and very crucial crimes like rape and murder in order to set punishment benchmark in the society so that criminal can consider its consequences while committing these deadly crimes. Therefore, it is evident that when people hear or read about any such legal execution and the strictness of the law and order of the nation, they tend to abide by it. To exemplify, people are ceased to carry out any illegal act are threat of punishment.
All things said, life execution should not be permissible for any criminal activity considering everyone is entitled for a second chance to recover from it and return to society while other including I support the imprisonment based on the severity of crime.
Hope this goes for 7>>>>help please
rare and severe law violation << heinous crimes, rape, murder, terrorism,
make the essay more persuasive, help the reader visualize, show that threat is real.
you are being too polite and political correct.
hmm, I see you are trying to imitate elegant sophisticated native writing, clearly it is not natural to you.
which can hurt you.
so, drop it, I used to do the same, costed me a fortune. keep it simple.
this essay is little confusing, say not smooth, create stress while reading.
this can get 7, but I don't think these examiners would care to mark it 7, so to get 7 you have to be sure,
when you go in your examination room, you must know that you are going to write a 7 band essay. no matter what the topic is.
rare and severe law violation << heinous crimes, rape, murder, terrorism,
make the essay more persuasive, help the reader visualize, show that threat is real.
you are being too polite and political correct.
hmm, I see you are trying to imitate elegant sophisticated native writing, clearly it is not natural to you.
which can hurt you.
so, drop it, I used to do the same, costed me a fortune. keep it simple.
this essay is little confusing, say not smooth, create stress while reading.
this can get 7, but I don't think these examiners would care to mark it 7, so to get 7 you have to be sure,
when you go in your examination room, you must know that you are going to write a 7 band essay. no matter what the topic is.
Great to see your views: I am thankful that I am at least following the pattern which is ideal for getting good grades.
I have got to know my errors over few essay being check here including this too.. Will surely bug you and couple of more to be confident
Thanks a lot in advance
You are using high level vocabulary but comitting too many grammatical errors
Great to see your views: I am thankful that I am at least following the pattern which is ideal for getting good grades.
I have got to know my errors over few essay being check here including this too.. Will surely bug you and couple of more to be confident
Thanks a lot in advance
I think you should fix your grammar.