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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

can_da

Full Member
Dec 21, 2015
35
6
Hi @cansha Please evaluate my essay, Many thanks in advance

Some people prefer to help by making donations to local charities while some prefer to donate to national & international organizations. Discuss both measures and give your opinion.

Although it is sometimes thought that donations should go to charities at regional levels, other people believe that donation is better spent with organisations working countrywide and globally. In my opinion, donation should be made at all levels considering needy people should be helped out everywhere.

In the first place people who believe local charities are best use of donation have multiple reasons to state. Firstly, these small size organizations have less running expenses which leaves them with more amounts to spend on deserving people. Secondly, it helps donor to see community problems more closely which instigates further participation in community development. Lastly, donations going out to these groups also give them a feel of security when they see themselves how these charities are changing lives of people around them.

On the contrary, the people who consider big charity organisations are best use of donations have various reasons to support their views. First of all, charity organisations operating all over the world have more insight of more deserving areas and have all the resources to reach out to the ones in dire need of help. Take Red Cross for example, they have their presence in the whole world and don’t take much time to camp wherever crisis rises. Also, people want to associate to these big names having their credibility recognized worldwide.

On my part, donations should be distributed among all the needy ones and to make that happen, charities working locally, nationally and internationally should be supported and encouraged to carry on their noble cause in all capacities. Small charities are necessary for community development while needy people in remote areas of different parts of the world only rely on these big charity organisations so the best way is to donate to both these types of charity organisations.

To sum up, despite people having different views, I believe it would be much better practice if all the charities are supported equally as there are always deserving people connected to these groups and their only source of funds are donations of masses.
 

Kashif ahmed

Full Member
Dec 30, 2018
25
5
somebody please evaluate my essay for writing task 2


Q) Doctors are concerned that people are not getting enough physical activity.

What are the causes ? what can be done ?


A lack of physical activity has got medical practitioners around the world concerned. Hectic work schedule and absence of sports facilities are the primary causes for this which can be tackled by planning on the part of the individuals and authorities.


People these days do not find adequate time to undertake sports and fitness related tasks due to extremely busy work life. Most people work for 10 hours a day and with the additional time they spend in traffic makes it impossible for the individuals to find time for leisure and play. Such a hectic programme makes an individual exhausted and hence they are not able to carry out any focused physical activity. Furthermore absence of proper access to open grounds and play areas has made it difficult to focus on physical fitness. For example, according to a recent newspaper survey all the open play fields have been converted to residential buildings in big cities.

Despite these issues proper planning by both the individuals and also authorities can inculcate a healthy lifestyle in the individuals. The individual can start using a bicycle to reach his work which can assist him in gaining fitness in his hectic schedule. Authorities however should make efforts and develop sports facilities in the society so that the community has access to physical activity centres. A playground area in every colony with free access will improve fitness and make the society healthier and alleviate the concerns of lack of physical activity.

To sum up , the concern of doctors for the lack of physical movements is mainly due to lack of time and sports facilities which can be solved by the action of both the individuals and officials in the society.
 
Last edited:

oryx_np

Star Member
Apr 22, 2018
86
20
I went for a remark once but it didn't work out so I am a bit skeptic. Plus I may have written beyond the 300-word mark. I couldn't count them may be I should go for an EOR. I really don't know the difference between a 6.5 and a 7 band write up. I will post an essay here to see where I stand.
I am on the same page. In 6 attempts, my writing score is 6.5 consistently. while all other three are above 8. Applied for EOR for last two but got no change. I don't have any clue what I am missing. I think I need help from this forum. I will post here for help soon.
 

Hannan Khan

Star Member
Aug 25, 2010
189
38
123
I am on the same page. In 6 attempts, my writing score is 6.5 consistently. while all other three are above 8. Applied for EOR for last two but got no change. I don't have any clue what I am missing. I think I need help from this forum. I will post here for help soon.
Hey bud! Don't let this get the better of you. We will get through this. Have you attempted Computer Delivered test, if yes, how many times? Every time, I get stuck in writing, I find something to keep myself going. This time around, it is a computer delivered test :)
 

oryx_np

Star Member
Apr 22, 2018
86
20
Hey bud! Don't let this get the better of you. We will get through this. Have you attempted Computer Delivered test, if yes, how many times? Every time, I get stuck in writing, I find something to keep myself going. This time around, it is a computer delivered test :)
The last two attempts were computer delivered. Although there was no difference in scores but typing feels more comfortable especially in reading and writing. Ability to copy and paste words in reading helps in avoiding spelling mistakes.
 

Hannan Khan

Star Member
Aug 25, 2010
189
38
123
Guys, I know Cansha is not finding the time these days. Can anyone of you evaluate this one. Please provide a band prediction as well. I know band predictions are difficult especially with how IELTS bands are being awarded of late but I want to know what you think of it.

Some people think that radio is the best way to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


The advancements in communication technologies has provided the people with a number of mediums to obtain news from. It is argued that listening to the radio is still the best method for receiving news. However, a number of people, including myself, differ from this opinion and tilt their take in television’s favour, considering it the best medium for news broadcasting.

The one advantage that radio news bulletins offer is that they are more convenient to listen to. Unlike other mediums of communication, listening to the radio does not have space or environment constraints. In other words, you do not have be in your TV lounge to listen to a radio news bulletin. Radio stations can be tuned into on the move, on cell phones or car stereos so their news bulletins are much easier to follow.

On the flip side, the biggest advantage with television as a source of news is its ability to broadcast international news channels. The world has become a global village of late and people need to be up to speed with all the worldwide happenings. Television has an edge over other mediums of communication as it can broadcast a number of international news channels bringing its viewers close to the world. Moreover, the ability of television to broadcast news using the senses of sight and hearing is what makes it different. People can not simply listen to the news but they can also watch the video clips and even live telecasts of local of international events.

In conclusion, television is by far the best means of news broadcast as it shows visuals and has a global reach. Radio bulletins are easier to follow but my opinion is in the favor of television for its various benefits.
 

can_da

Full Member
Dec 21, 2015
35
6
Hey bud! Don't let this get the better of you. We will get through this. Have you attempted Computer Delivered test, if yes, how many times? Every time, I get stuck in writing, I find something to keep myself going. This time around, it is a computer delivered test :)
Hello Hannan,
Around what time you will be sitting for computer-delivered test?
I am in the same boat too, having huge yet narrow bridge of .5 to cross in writing. I will be writing my first computer-delivered test on 23rd of this month inshaAllah.
 

Hannan Khan

Star Member
Aug 25, 2010
189
38
123
Hello Hannan,
Around what time you will be sitting for computer-delivered test?
I am in the same boat too, having huge yet narrow bridge of .5 to cross in writing. I will be writing my first computer-delivered test on 23rd of this month inshaAllah.
Hey man. I am appearing on 3rd April so hoping to hear a positive result for you by that time. Good luck!
 

Noor_100

Member
Nov 26, 2018
18
0
@H0peAndFa1th @cansha please evaluate this.

Writing task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.
Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.

In your letter


· Describe the problem with the equipment

· Explain how this problem is affecting your work

· Say what you want the shop or company to do.

Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any address.

Begin your letter as follows:

DEAR SIR or Madam,

I have bought a compatible color printer from your company HP a couple of months back for my home business. It was operating fine in the initial days, however, in later days, it fails to press the paper after it works for continuous five hours, heating up sooner and stops. However, in the device catalog, it is given that the printer will work for consecutive ten hours per day.

Due to the above mentioned issue, I am not able to focus on my other commitment and deliveries. Also, a dedicated person is required to monitor and restart whenever the printer stops. Currently, I am struck with my business deliveries.

The warranty paper of the printer says that any issue within a year will troubleshooted within 10 days in free of cost. So, consider the above issue and fix it as soon as possible with high priority. Looking forward for your service.

Yours sincerely,
Noor
 
Last edited:

Noor_100

Member
Nov 26, 2018
18
0
@H0peAndFa1th @cansha please evaluate this.

Writing task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.
Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.

In your letter


· Describe the problem with the equipment

· Explain how this problem is affecting your work

· Say what you want the shop or company to do.

Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any address.

Begin your letter as follows:

DEAR SIR or Madam,

I have bought a compatible color printer from your company HP a couple of months back for my home business. It was operating fine in the initial days, however, in later days, it fails to press the paper after it works for continuous five hours, heating up sooner and stops. However, in the device catalog, it is given that the printer will work for consecutive ten hours per day.

Due to the above mentioned issue, I am not able to focus on my other commitment and deliverables.Also, a dedicated person is required to monitor and restart whenever the printer stops. Currently, I am struck with my business deliveries.

The warranty paper of the printer says that any defect arise in first year, will troubleshooted within 10 days in free of cost. So, consider the above issue and fix it as soon as possible with high priority. Looking forward for your service.

Yours sincerely,
Noor
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
471
Agree or Disagree, its my opinion, so don't bash me later.

@H0peAndFa1th

@cansha please evaluate this.

Writing task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.
Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment.

In your letter


· Describe the problem with the equipment

· Explain how this problem is affecting your work

· Say what you want the shop or company to do.

Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any address.

Begin your letter as follows:

DEAR SIR or Madam,

I have bought a compatible color printer from your company HP a couple of months back for my home business.
wrong way of starting a letter, and there is a problem in this sentence.
first introduce yourself,
then explain your problem.

I am Noor, a couple of months back, I bought a color printer of your company for my home business.
I am Noor, writing this letter to inform you about problems/inconveniences I am facing with a printer I bought for my home business from your company.

both sentences are not 100% correct, but you get the idea.



It was operating fine in the initial days, however, in later days, it fails to press the paper after it works for continuous five hours, heating up sooner and stops. However, in the device catalog, it is given that the printer will work for consecutive ten hours per day.

Due to the above mentioned issue, I am not able to focus on my other commitment and deliveries. Also, a dedicated person is required to monitor and restart whenever the printer stops. [restart the printer whenever it stops.] Currently, I am struck [stuck] with my business deliveries.

The warranty paper of the printer says that any issue within a year will troubleshooted within 10 days in [at] free of cost. So, consider the above issue and fix it as soon as possible with high priority. Looking forward for your service.

Yours sincerely,
Noor
task achievement is good, grammar issues are there, odd language sometimes, good for 6.5, for 7 sentences must be more refined and complex.
 

H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
471
Guys, I know Cansha is not finding the time these days. Can anyone of you evaluate this one. Please provide a band prediction as well. I know band predictions are difficult especially with how IELTS bands are being awarded of late but I want to know what you think of it.

Some people think that radio is the best way to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The advancements in communication technologies has provided the people with a number of mediums to obtain news from. It is argued that listening to the radio is still the best method for receiving news. However, a number of people, including myself, differ from this opinion and tilt their take in television’s favour, considering it the best medium for news broadcasting.
wow, amazing intro, nailed it 100%, for me its above 7 bands, near 8 or so, but u know examiners, right ?
just one thing,
if question is
"Discuss both views and give your opinion."
I would suggest to give your own opinion after discussing both views, because i feel question says so.
first view
second view
my opinion, in conclusion or in different para, then it would be 5 para essay
The one advantage that radio news bulletins offer is that they are more convenient to listen to. Unlike other mediums of communication, listening to the radio does not have space or environment constraints. In other words, you do not have be in your TV lounge to listen to a radio news bulletin. Radio stations can be tuned into on the move, on cell phones or car stereos so their news bulletins are much easier to follow.
again, nailed it, precise, concise, clear, no wondering, no hesitation, smoooooth, 100% on topic
On the flip side, the biggest advantage with television as a source of news is its ability to broadcast international news channels. The world has become a global village of late and people need to be up to speed with all the worldwide happenings. Television has an edge over other mediums of communication as it can broadcast a number of international news channels bringing its viewers close to the world. Moreover, the ability of television to broadcast news using the senses of sight and hearing is what makes it different. People can not simply listen to the news but they can also watch the video clips and even live telecasts of local of [or ??] international events.
People can not simply listen to the news but they can also watch the video clips
that wrong, or atleast odd
so, better would be
People not only can listen to the news but they can also watch the video clips
agree with me ??
still above 7, I would say.
In conclusion, television is by far the best means of news broadcast as it shows visuals and has a global reach. Radio bulletins are easier to follow but my opinion is in the favor of television for its various benefits.
7 or above,
but, one minor issue.
"for its various benefits." - one can ask which ones ???
golden rule ->never ever, left the reader wondering.
you mentioned that "various benefits" but still reader can forget it, so don't make it his/her responsibility to remember that for you, instead give him/her a clear pointer.
how ?
"for its various aforementioned benefits."
I know, many would say, I am over-killing it, but its your money, Don't trust these examiners. period.


overall, this essay deserves, 7.5 to 8, not less than 7 in anyyyy damn case, best of luck.
 
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H0peAndFa1th

Hero Member
Jun 19, 2017
485
471
I went for a remark once but it didn't work out so I am a bit skeptic. Plus I may have written beyond the 300-word mark. I couldn't count them may be I should go for an EOR. I really don't know the difference between a 6.5 and a 7 band write up. I will post an essay here to see where I stand.
take a look at links my signature, you will get an idea.
 
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