Study Visa Rejected, Next Options All Include Marriage... Thoughts?

[jomz]

Not sure who your doctor is but most physicians give the opposite advice and would recommend having children before 35 if possible. Yes some women get pregnant after 40 but many have to use fertility treatments, have numerous miscarriages, etc. Yes many people have children after 35 but I have had friends who needed an egg donor at 30. Fertility is far from guaranteed at any age but have had countless friends struggle to get pregnant and stay pregnant after 40.

Dr. Sheila Watson in Calgary rocky view hospital. Give her a call and get informed.
All the publications that speak of a pregnancy being high risk after 35 were published in the 60s 70s and 80s. Maybe some in the 90s if plagiarized from the 60s-80s. I have multiple friends who conceived without fertility treatments (including myself). Yes there are those who have challenges. But in all my life I only met 3 such women. 1 my cousin that at 30 miscarried several times some in 2nd trimester. And only now doctors figured out the reason behind it and assured her that next pregnancy should be carried to term... fingers crossed she’s at 7.5 months now. Also have a friend who at 35 had to get multiple in vitro a done and only 1 successful, and her younger sister is going through the same problem. Their mother also went through this , so a lot of it it’s genetics.

 

[jomz]

I knew there was details I had to learn about this. Thank you. I own my own home and the Dower Act in Alberta adds some complexity. I have a friend who married a Cuban and they are in their third year of appeals to get him over here on a spousal sponsorship... because they're married she can't do anything with her home so it's even more complicated.

Her husband would need to consent to anything to do with the home. 3 years of appeals is a long time. Hopefully she will see some resolution soon.

 

[t_topcat]

Dr. Sheila Watson in Calgary rocky view hospital. Give her a call and get informed.
All the publications that speak of a pregnancy being high risk after 35 were published in the 60s 70s and 80s. Maybe some in the 90s if plagiarized from the 60s-80s. I have multiple friends who conceived without fertility treatments (including myself). Yes there are those who have challenges. But in all my life I only met 3 such women. 1 my cousin that at 30 miscarried several times some in 2nd trimester. And only now doctors figured out the reason behind it and assured her that next pregnancy should be carried to term... fingers crossed she’s at 7.5 months now. Also have a friend who at 35 had to get multiple in vitro a done and only 1 successful, and her younger sister is going through the same problem. Their mother also went through this , so a lot of it it’s genetics.

Actually I've read a few books about 'geriatric pregnancy' and they say the same as what you say - all the scary statistics are actually very old. There are so many more healthy, older births now. I have a friend who just gave birth at 42. I'm not as concerned about getting pregnant as I am about having the energy to deal with raising a child and prolonging my retirement Maybe we should chat offline LOL

 

[canuck78]

Dr. Sheila Watson in Calgary rocky view hospital. Give her a call and get informed.
All the publications that speak of a pregnancy being high risk after 35 were published in the 60s 70s and 80s. Maybe some in the 90s if plagiarized from the 60s-80s. I have multiple friends who conceived without fertility treatments (including myself). Yes there are those who have challenges. But in all my life I only met 3 such women. 1 my cousin that at 30 miscarried several times some in 2nd trimester. And only now doctors figured out the reason behind it and assured her that next pregnancy should be carried to term... fingers crossed she’s at 7.5 months now. Also have a friend who at 35 had to get multiple in vitro a done and only 1 successful, and her younger sister is going through the same problem. Their mother also went through this , so a lot of it it’s genetics.

Has nothing to do with pregnancies being high risk it has everything to do with egg quality deteriorating after age 35 on average. Could go into so much detail about this and include peer reviewed journals and names of various fertility doctors and OBs but this synopsis from the mayo clinic sums it up pretty well.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/pregnancy/art-20045756

 

[jomz]

Has nothing to do with pregnancies being high risk it has everything to do with egg quality deteriorating after age 35 on average. Could go into so much detail about this and include peer reviewed journals and names of various fertility doctors and OBs but this synopsis from the mayo clinic sums it up pretty well.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/pregnancy/art-20045756

Again the plagiarized text from old textbooks and studies.

Thanks, as I said majority of my friends are my age and we have had healthy pregnancies and now have healthy toddlers running around.

Women in general age better, therefore their eggs don’t age prematurely as they have in the past.

 

[jomz]

Actually I've read a few books about 'geriatric pregnancy' and they say the same as what you say - all the scary statistics are actually very old. There are so many more healthy, older births now. I have a friend who just gave birth at 42. I'm not as concerned about getting pregnant as I am about having the energy to deal with raising a child and prolonging my retirement Maybe we should chat offline LOL

That’s definitely a consideration. I’m tired all the time lol my husband helps a lot though, always had from the beginning. It’s not easy starting a family this late. My dream of retirement at 50 is pretty much out of the window unless we win big in some lottery.

 

[canuck78]

Again the plagiarized text from old textbooks and studies.

Thanks, as I said majority of my friends are my age and we have had healthy pregnancies and now have healthy toddlers running around.

Women in general age better, therefore their eggs don’t age prematurely as they have in the past.

Not going to argue but your friends may just be lucky. Have plenty of experience, am in the healthcare field and have tons of family who are MDs and since a family member has been going through fertility treatment for the past 2 years starting at 40 we talk about it all the time. She is in the healthcare field as well. Didn't say that people can't get pregnant after age 35. They rarely get pregnant the first month of trying like perhaps a teenager or someone in their 20s.

 

[jomz]

Not going to argue but your friends may just be lucky. Have plenty of experience, am in the healthcare field and have tons of family who are MDs and since a family member has been going through fertility treatment for the past 2 years starting at 40 we talk about it all the time. She is in the healthcare field as well. Didn't say that people can't get pregnant after age 35. They rarely get pregnant the first month of trying like perhaps a teenager or someone in their 20s.

I guess I’m just lucky for being healthy. At 41 without any cosmetic procedures don’t look like I even hit my 30s. When I had my daughter at 37 yo it was a textbook uncomplicated pregnancy. Nurses commented that I’m made for having babies as my pregnancy and birth was super easy. As for having to try for months, visited my husband in his country between feb 16-March 20 and came back to canada 3 weeks pregnant. Few months later he got his PR and joined me here. And here we are helping others achieve their dreams, not discouraging or judging

 

[jomz]

Not going to argue but your friends may just be lucky. Have plenty of experience, am in the healthcare field and have tons of family who are MDs and since a family member has been going through fertility treatment for the past 2 years starting at 40 we talk about it all the time. She is in the healthcare field as well. Didn't say that people can't get pregnant after age 35. They rarely get pregnant the first month of trying like perhaps a teenager or someone in their 20s.

Being in healthcare or having mds in family doesn’t make one an expert in this field.

I’m a lawyer but I don’t pretend to know all areas of law.

Again, most of my friends are in late 30s to mid 40s. Majority with very young kids 0-5 yrs old. So again your point is moot because out of at least 25 women I know personally and closely (not counting my cousin who’s younger) I know 1 woman who needed in vitro to conceive.

 

[canuck78]

I guess I’m just lucky for being healthy. At 41 without any cosmetic procedures don’t look like I even hit my 30s. When I had my daughter at 37 yo it was a textbook uncomplicated pregnancy. Nurses commented that I’m made for having babies as my pregnancy and birth was super easy. As for having to try for months, visited my husband in his country between feb 16-March 20 and came back to canada 3 weeks pregnant. Few months later he got his PR and joined me here. And here we are helping others achieve their dreams, not discouraging or judging

Look like I am 20 but am at 40 and needed fertility treatments in my 20s. Have a bunch of friends that have gotten pregnant easily in their 30s after less than 6 months, many who have struggled with multiple miscarriages, have needed fertility treatments, had preemies, etc, Unless you are part of the club many women don't share all the details of how long it took to get pregnant, if they had miscarriages and whether they had fertility treatments. You are lucky but many are nit and can't count on getting pregnant especially after 40.

 

[canuck78]

Being in healthcare or having mds in family doesn’t make one an expert in this field.

I’m a lawyer but I don’t pretend to know all areas of law.

Again, most of my friends are in late 30s to mid 40s. Majority with very young kids 0-5 yrs old. So again your point is moot because out of at least 25 women I know personally and closely (not counting my cousin who’s younger) I know 1 woman who needed in vitro to conceive.

Only a small fraction of fertility treatments are IVF. I'm done. Trust me I know more about the fertility world, doctors and how many people struggle.

 

[jomz]

Look like I am 20 but am at 40 and needed fertility treatments in my 20s. Have a bunch of friends that have gotten pregnant easily in their 30s after less than 6 months, many who have struggled with multiple miscarriages, have needed fertility treatments, had preemies, etc, Unless you are part of the club many women don't share all the details of how long it took to get pregnant, if they had miscarriages and whether they had fertility treatments. You are lucky but many are nit and can't count on getting pregnant especially after 40.

Ok now this makes sense. I am sorry for what you needed to go through. Because of your situation I am sure you have joined multiple forums that discuss these issues and you are likely seeking out people who are in similar circumstances and this is why your perception is that there are a lot more women in this situation. But the truth is that chances of conception and healthy pregnancies by older women are improving.

 

[canuck78]

Ok now this makes sense. I am sorry for what you needed to go through. Because of your situation I am sure you have joined multiple forums that discuss these issues and you are likely seeking out people who are in similar circumstances and this is why your perception is that there are a lot more women in this situation. But the truth is that chances of conception and healthy pregnancies by older women are improving.

No I actually haven't sought out forums. When you are open with friends and family everyone starts telling you about their own struggles. I needed fertility treatments for various reasons but am pretty unemotional about the issue and didn't have children and that was probably for the best for various medical reasons. You are a lawyer not sure why you feel your medical knowledge is better than mine. I have been talking to people about fertility issues for 20 years. It is much more common than you think. Next time you are with your group of friends you may want to ask whether they had miscarriages and got pregnancy easily. People rarely discuss these things especially with people who got pregnant easily.

 

[jomz]

No I actually haven't sought out forums. When you are open with friends and family everyone starts telling you about their own struggles. I needed fertility treatments for various reasons but am pretty unemotional about the issue and didn't have children and that was probably for the best for various medical reasons. You are a lawyer not sure why you feel your medical knowledge is better than mine. I have been talking to people about fertility issues for 20 years. It is much more common than you think. Next time you are with your group of friends you may want to ask whether they had miscarriages and got pregnancy easily. People rarely discuss these things especially with people who got pregnant easily.

Food for thought.



https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.smh.com.au/lifestyle/health-and-wellness/the-secrets-of-fertility-over-40-20170303-gupqch.html

I like learning new things, and I respect others’ opinions, this is not a contest of who’s right and who’s wrong.

My one word of advice to any woman or man for that matter, do not consume soy or soy based products. This innocent, green, little bean is a fertility killer.

Good night.

 

[carolbb23]

By today’s standards you are still young. Lol. My doctor told me to not read too much into the 35+ means a high risk pregnancy. A lot of women are having kids later in life. I was 37 when we had our first baby. We are expecting our 2nd now and I’m 41.

i had my son last year after my.40 th birthday and my second son will be born a month after my 41 st birthday