Study Visa Rejected, Next Options All Include Marriage... Thoughts?

[t_topcat]

One approach to consider may be to gain common law status by living together continuously for one year. May not be possible in Canada, but perhaps in Nigeria. I think that would resolve some red flags in a better way than marrying.

Hmmmm.... even if I took a leave of absence from work and we stayed together in Lagos for a while that could help. Ironically, Nigeria is super strict in granting Visa's even to Canadians! I'll have to look into it.

 

[canuck78]

Don't want to come off as rude but this situation has so many red flags. You also seem to have invested money in Nigeria and were willing to pay for his education. Would protect yourself and keep your money separate as well as get a prenup at least for the first 5 years or more, Your future husband should understand your need to protect yourself financially.

 

[jomz]

Thank you... this is the kind of input I was looking for To note I have none of those red flags. If we get married in Nigeria it will have to be in a city where his family does not live. I cannot travel to his small town due to GOC travel advisories... so, I will have to pay for all of it... his family to travel, the ceremony, accommodation for everyone...

The assessment of his family’s financial wealth may come into question and may become a problem. If you are financing the wedding I would not volunteer that information in the sponsorship documents.

The visa officer will compare your and his financial standing therefore

 

[t_topcat]

My husband and I had some red flags as well. You have to eliminate as many as you can before you apply.

1. Age... that’s a given, nothing can be done with that
2. Culture ... try to find similarities even though I’m sure your upbringing was much different.
3. Marital status... if you’ve never been married or in common law relationship that’s ideal. If you are divorced you need to address why a never married 24 yo would want to marry a divorcée. If you have kids, depending on age may become an issue for the officer.

4. Wedding. Do not marry outside of the cultural norms, put in whatever money is needed for a proper traditional Nigerian wedding.

5. Kids... are you planning any in your future with your husband. If not, this could be an issue for the officer as well.

Thank you - excellent points. We have a lot of differences for sure, and we've talked about them all. It's not easy. We talk on the phone every day and we're always talking about something important. As for kids, yes, we are hoping to have one (but I'll be 41 in November so my clock is ticking)... this is partly why we're in a rush to get confirmation of an approach that will work. If I get too old we will have to adopt.

 

[jomz]

The assessment of his family’s financial wealth may come into question and may become a problem. If you are financing the wedding I would not volunteer that information in the sponsorship documents.

The visa officer will compare your and his financial standing therefore it would be best if him and his family paid

 

[t_topcat]

Don't want to come off as rude but this situation has so many red flags. You also seem to have invested money in Nigeria and were willing to pay for his education. Would protect yourself and keep your money separate as well as get a prenup at least for the first 5 years or more, Your future husband should understand your need to protect yourself financially.

Oh, 100% I will get a prenup He actually is the one who suggested it. I even told him that if he were here on a study visa I'd want a living agreement to protect myself and he was 100% okay with it.

 

[t_topcat]

The assessment of his family’s financial wealth may come into question and may become a problem. If you are financing the wedding I would not volunteer that information in the sponsorship documents.

The visa officer will compare your and his financial standing therefore

Ok, this is an excellent point as well. Thank you.

 

[jomz]

Thank you - excellent points. We have a lot of differences for sure, and we've talked about them all. It's not easy. We talk on the phone every day and we're always talking about something important. As for kids, yes, we are hoping to have one (but I'll be 41 in November so my clock is ticking)... this is partly why we're in a rush to get confirmation of an approach that will work. If I get too old we will have to adopt.

By today’s standards you are still young. Lol. My doctor told me to not read too much into the 35+ means a high risk pregnancy. A lot of women are having kids later in life. I was 37 when we had our first baby. We are expecting our 2nd now and I’m 41.

 

[canuck78]

Oh, 100% I will get a prenup He actually is the one who suggested it. I even told him that if he were here on a study visa I'd want a living agreement to protect myself and he was 100% okay with it.

Seems like you were were going to pay for his schooling and have invested in his business in Nigeria. The money in. his business will likely be more of a write off but please keep money out of the relationship as much as possible, He may be just telling you what you want to hear. How did you meet? Did he contact you online?

 

[t_topcat]

By today’s standards you are still young. Lol. My doctor told me to not read too much into the 35+ means a high risk pregnancy. A lot of women are having kids later in life. I was 37 when we had our first baby. We are expecting our 2nd now and I’m 41.

Awesome And, congratulations!

 

[canuck78]

By today’s standards you are still young. Lol. My doctor told me to not read too much into the 35+ means a high risk pregnancy. A lot of women are having kids later in life. I was 37 when we had our first baby. We are expecting our 2nd now and I’m 41.

Not sure who your doctor is but most physicians give the opposite advice and would recommend having children before 35 if possible. Yes some women get pregnant after 40 but many have to use fertility treatments, have numerous miscarriages, etc. Yes many people have children after 35 but I have had friends who needed an egg donor at 30. Fertility is far from guaranteed at any age but have had countless friends struggle to get pregnant and stay pregnant after 40.

 

[jomz]

Oh, 100% I will get a prenup He actually is the one who suggested it. I even told him that if he were here on a study visa I'd want a living agreement to protect myself and he was 100% okay with it.

Just remember that if if you own a home you can include ownership of it in a prenup can deal with the ownership of a matrimonial, so ownership stays with you however note that there are two other legal rights to the matrimonial home that cannot be dealt with in a prenuptial agreement: possession and alienation. Possession deals with who has the right to live in the matrimonial home. Essentially, a prenup cannot kick a person out of the matrimonial home, even if they do not own it. Alienation deals with the fact that you cannot sell or mortgage the home without your spouse’s permission. The idea here is that just because a marriage has ended a spouse cannot find themselves kicked out of the matrimonial home or have it sold underneath their feet.

 

[t_topcat]

Seems like you were were going to pay for his schooling and have invested in his business in Nigeria. The money in. his business will likely be more of a write off but please keep money out of the relationship as much as possible, He may be just telling you what you want to hear. How did you meet? Did he contact you online?

Yes we met online, through a Facebook group. I've previously been the subject of a romance scammer... so, sadly, I know what that's like and what to look for.

 

[canuck78]

Yes we met online, through a Facebook group. I've previously been the subject of a romance scammer... so, sadly, I know what that's like and what to look for.

Be careful. Some are much smarter than others and will not show their true colours for much longer. Even wait until they arrive in Canada.

 

[t_topcat]

Just remember that if if you own a home you can include ownership of it in a prenup can deal with the ownership of a matrimonial, so ownership stays with you however note that there are two other legal rights to the matrimonial home that cannot be dealt with in a prenuptial agreement: possession and alienation. Possession deals with who has the right to live in the matrimonial home. Essentially, a prenup cannot kick a person out of the matrimonial home, even if they do not own it. Alienation deals with the fact that you cannot sell or mortgage the home without your spouse’s permission. The idea here is that just because a marriage has ended a spouse cannot find themselves kicked out of the matrimonial home or have it sold underneath their feet.

I knew there was details I had to learn about this. Thank you. I own my own home and the Dower Act in Alberta adds some complexity. I have a friend who married a Cuban and they are in their third year of appeals to get him over here on a spousal sponsorship... because they're married she can't do anything with her home so it's even more complicated.