Sponsorship problem, they started to demand money I feel scammed!

[CanadianJeepGuy]

It's such a common misconception that our culture is diseased. I love Filipinos and the culture of course.. but there are some things that just leave me scratching my head. Sure there's things that could be changed about our own culture.. but I actually do like it

The sense of family and the ease by which Filipinos smile. I think because of the poverty finding happiness in anything is all some have. Their beggars don't look any happier than ours though ours are generally drunk or on drugs.
What the Philippines needs is less church and more middleclass.

 

[truesmile]

I would agree.

I also agree to disagree. Which means "I agree"! Sorry to coz any nosebleeds...

 

[Steph C]

The sense of family and the ease by which Filipinos smile. I think because of the poverty finding happiness in anything is all some have. Their beggars don't look any happier than ours though ours are generally drunk or on drugs.
What the Philippines needs is less church and more middleclass.

Sense of family, but I also wonder if everyone was as rich as Canadians they would distance themselves also Family really depends on each other, or usually on one or two people who are earning. I wouldn't mind living in a big house with all my extended family. Not the in laws though. :-X

Ease of smiling, and liking to be around others, and neighbours who just drop by.. all sitting around together under the tree in the front yard.. these are the kind of things we can bring into our own lives in Canada, if we are open to it. I find every culture has a moral or a basic theme.. in this case I would say happiness and peacefulness. They value everybody getting along above forthrightness.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

Sense of family, but I also wonder if everyone was as rich as Canadians they would distance themselves also Family really depends on each other, or usually on one or two people who are earning. I wouldn't mind living in a big house with all my extended family. Not the in laws though. :-X

Ease of smiling, and liking to be around others, and neighbours who just drop by.. all sitting around together under the tree in the front yard.. these are the kind of things we can bring into our own lives in Canada, if we are open to it. I find every culture has a moral or a basic theme.. in this case I would say happiness and peacefulness. They value everybody getting along above forthrightness.

My culture was to kick the kids out at the first sign of independance. My parents were good parents but I do not have any communication with any of my family. As adults they are a**holes. I'm not big on too much family being too involved in my life. Not sure where my wife sits on that issue. We will have to see how well she adjusts to having no family around. I may have to make concessions.

 

[amikety]

I don't really talk to any of my family either. I'll talk to my brothers, but they don't really care to talk back to me. My sister-in-law is the only one I talked to occasionally/regularly.

Of the 4 parents, I think my father-in-law is the only one I'd consider living with. Which might be happening. He and his wife might be moving here.

I would possibly take my father, but there would have to be a ton of ground rules. And he'll need to figure out how to get into Canada. Cuz I'm not sponsoring him.

 

[Steph C]

Oh that all makes me sad :'( I enjoy and love being around my family, all of them. They have always been good to me.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

I don't really talk to any of my family either. I'll talk to my brothers, but they don't really care to talk back to me. My sister-in-law is the only one I talked to occasionally/regularly.

Of the 4 parents, I think my father-in-law is the only one I'd consider living with. Which might be happening. He and his wife might be moving here.

I would possibly take my father, but there would have to be a ton of ground rules. And he'll need to figure out how to get into Canada. Cuz I'm not sponsoring him.

My parents are from here. I'm looking for a little country I can move them to.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

Oh that all makes me sad :'( I enjoy and love being around my family, all of them. They have always been good to me.

I would certainly have wanted things to turn out differently but people have agendas which don't always keep a level of mutual respect. I helped my sister through her divorce she repaid my kindness by ripping me off $18000. I moved to Winnipeg to help my brother with his business and be closer to help my aging parents. My brother baited me with a job that didn't exist and then moved off to Alberta and left me here with my parents who only call me when they need something. My siblings didn't respond to my marriage. Not even an email. My parents sent my wife a wedding present only after I had to argue with them.
In the end it is just too much effort to pretend that there is any real love or respect between us. So I pulled the plug on my family.

 

[amikety]

My own story isn't too dissimilar. I didn't even bother to tell them I was getting married this time.

Fortunately, there's a history of abuse and substance abuse in my family, so it's really best to just keep my distance.

 

[Steph C]

My own story isn't too dissimilar. I didn't even bother to tell them I was getting married this time.

Fortunately, there's a history of abuse and substance abuse in my family, so it's really best to just keep my distance.

:'( awww you guys *group hug*

 

[amikety]

:'( awww you guys *group hug*

Thanks

I'm not bitter or angry about it anymore. It is what it is. I got dealt crap. I wish my brothers would talk to me more/at all. But that's life. I'll continue to send them Christmas gifts every year. Maybe when they get older, they'll start to understand or care to understand why I left.

Until then, I have friends. Friends are the family you choose.

 

[SenoritaBella]

My parents are from here. I'm looking for a little country I can move them to.

LOL... that's funny but kinda sad too. I understand you though... sometimes parents forget you are an adult. ???

My culture was to kick the kids out at the first sign of independance. My parents were good parents but I do not have any communication with any of my family. As adults they are a**holes. I'm not big on too much family being too involved in my life. Not sure where my wife sits on that issue. We will have to see how well she adjusts to having no family around. I may have to make concessions.

A balance between my culture and the one in Canada would ideal to me. May be not kick kids out at the 1st sign of independence, but step back gradually and urge them to take on more. My culture is all about community and the first child has so many responsibilities. In most instances, the person working supports the rest of the family. It is not a position to envy - without firm boundaries, you'll burn out. When a girl marries, her husband is now responsible for her, her family and his. As a result, both men and women are taking this into consideration before marriage. The other thing about my culture is it's really good to have your family's support as concerns marriage, for women in particular. The idea is that the more people that support your union, the less likely it is for your spouse for pull certain stunts. lol One reason why eloping is frowned upon. I only wish younger siblings were encouraged to take risks too and make something for themselves instead of waiting for big brother/sister to come through for them.

 

[CanadianJeepGuy]

:'( awww you guys *group hug*

LOL. Certainly not trying to turn this into a pity party. It is sad but that is life and life ain't TV. My parents are well off. Both my brother and sister are Bma's and Phd's respectively. I work for CPC and have my own small business on the side. No drug or physical abuse or crime in my family history. For my family I am a means to their ends and while I was single and moving around that was tolerable but I refuse to let my wife become a pawn in their machinations.

 

[Ms Malawi]

Until then, I have friends. Friends are the family you choose.

And I knew there was a reason you picked me! :-* Just kidding.. but its soo true.. I know I much prefer the company of my friends to my family.. then again there is that hope that someday they will come around and show complete acceptance.. however until that day.. I will keep my friends!

 

[amikety]

And I knew there was a reason you picked me! :-* Just kidding.. but its soo true.. I know I much prefer the company of my friends to my family.. then again there is that hope that someday they will come around and show complete acceptance.. however until that day.. I will keep my friends!

*hugs*

All and all, my family are good people. They have problems, but they are good people. I just pick not to be a part of the problems, so I'm not a part at all. It was my choice and for the most part I'm happy with it. The parts I'm not happy with - I made mistakes too, plus I understand the other point of view. That's why I try here and there with my brothers. Maybe one day they'll see that and try a little back too.

On the other hand, I have over 30 cousins on my dad's side of the family alone. I'm one of the youngest grandchildren. Most of my cousins have kids. My husband is rather glad he doesn't have to visit, get to know, and remember 200+ relatives just on dad's side!