Sponsor just walked out on our marriage

[Smart smiles]

I need to get some advice A situation I never anticipated. My husband and I have been in a long distance relationship since 2011 but got married in 2013. he filed for my son and I to join him so we could have a life together.The filing came through and by December 2014 my son and I migrated to Canada. After living with my husband for a few months I realize he began complaining about him not wanting a child so he decided that he wanted to end the marriage or I should send back my son to our home country. After a few more months he just decided that he wanted to leave so he just packed his belongings and left for another province. leaving me and my son to fend for ourselves, luckily I was and is still employed so I am able to pay my rent and buy food. I am very concerned about my situation because of the conditional permanent residency status that is in effect. I am afraid that I will lose my status and will have to go back to my home country. My husband even threatened to call immigration and tell them that we had a breakdown in the marriage so that they can have me and my deported. He also wants to serve me divorce papers but said he will just wait for a year then he will have them sent to me to sign.i am still in shock as I never expected him to react this way because even though my son is not his biological child he has known him since he was a baby and now he is 11. I quit my job sold assets, closed my business and came here thinking we could have a life together and to know that he just packed up and leave. He no longer provides no form of support. He occasionally phone, and on one occasion he was at one of his ex in yet another province. I need to know what to do, I want to make the best decision regarding the matter. Please help. Can someone just marry someone and then change their mind as if this is a game? And just walk away with no consequences. I need to know, this is not right

 

[sawadee-eh]

I need to get some advice A situation I never anticipated. My husband and I have been in a long distance relationship since 2011 but got married in 2013. he filed for my son and I to join him so we could have a life together.The filing came through and by December 2014 my son and I migrated to Canada. After living with my husband for a few months I realize he began complaining about him not wanting a child so he decided that he wanted to end the marriage or I should send back my son to our home country. After a few more months he just decided that he wanted to leave so he just packed his belongings and left for another province. leaving me and my son to fend for ourselves, luckily I was and is still employed so I am able to pay my rent and buy food. I am very concerned about my situation because of the conditional permanent residency status that is in effect. I am afraid that I will lose my status and will have to go back to my home country. My husband even threatened to call immigration and tell them that we had a breakdown in the marriage so that they can have me and my deported. He also wants to serve me divorce papers but said he will just wait for a year then he will have them sent to me to sign.i am still in shock as I never expected him to react this way because even though my son is not his biological child he has known him since he was a baby and now he is 11. I quit my job sold assets, closed my business and came here thinking we could have a life together and to know that he just packed up and leave. He no longer provides no form of support. He occasionally phone, and on one occasion he was at one of his ex in yet another province. I need to know what to do, I want to make the best decision regarding the matter. Please help. Can someone just marry someone and then change their mind as if this is a game? And just walk away with no consequences. I need to know, this is not right

Sad situation.

Read this entire page http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/resources/publications/family-sponsorship.asp

You might be able to get an exception to the Conditional PR due to:
- threats of having you and your son deported (psychological abuse),
- financial abuse (him not giving you and your son any support as his sponsor undertaking required),
- and maybe neglect due to him leaving and causing you to struggle to support yourself and your son.

Hope that helps. Good luck.

 

[screech339]

Sorry about your situation. Along with providing evidence to get exception from conditional PR, you can also file for welfare to support yourself and your son. Your spouse will be responsible to paying the government back any welfare you claim.

 

[kisaki]

What the bleep is wrong with that guy? It's not like he didn't know you had a son from the beginning. Some people hate themselves so much they get jealous of a child. I'm so sorry for you. The good thing is that sawadee-eh is right, you may be able to get the condition waived if there is abuse.

 

[Smart smiles]

Thanks for the suggestion, appreciate it.

 

[ElaBella]

Sorry about your situation. Along with providing evidence to get exception from conditional PR, you can also file for welfare to support yourself and your son. Your spouse will be responsible to paying the government back any welfare you claim.

I don't know if it's the smartest thing to go on welfare. The main reason the sponsor has to sign off to support you (and pay back the government), and that the conditional PR even exists is because Canada is worried that immigrants will go on social assistance. This may then backfire if you apply for an exception from conditional PR. Better to be able to show that you're willing to work, and can support yourself and your son.

 

[Smart smiles]

I agree with you on this point. Funny enough my husband made contact this week and he is now in the process of doing up divorce papers so he asked if I will ask for spousal or child support. I have not given him an answer cause all of this seems like a dream to me as I really was not expecting all of this. I really don't know if I should even request that he support because that was never my intention to have him mind me and my son. I want my husband back but it is obvious he don't feel the same. I am work and I think with time I will be better able to manage on my own. Thanks again

 

[Aquakitty]

I agree with you on this point. Funny enough my husband made contact this week and he is now in the process of doing up divorce papers so he asked if I will ask for spousal or child support. I have not given him an answer cause all of this seems like a dream to me as I really was not expecting all of this. I really don't know if I should even request that he support because that was never my intention to have him mind me and my son. I want my husband back but it is obvious he don't feel the same. I am work and I think with time I will be better able to manage on my own. Thanks again

See that's the problem with this stupid condition 51. You have a right by law to child support, but he can now hold this condition over your head like a threat. Absolutely ridiculous. There has to be some kind of clause for abandonment, or something. There are many ways a marriage can break up without fault. I think the best thing is to find a good lawyer if you can. No one knows much about how they will enforce this condition.

If you do stay in Canada and eventually get citizenship, you can then sue him for back child-support

 

[duMaurier]

Yeah why are you guys recommending people to go on Welfare just so the Sponsor can pay the bill. That is evil and uneconomical. Put yourself in the Sponsor's shoe or is that Sponsor is a family/friend of you. You want them to go through the emotional and then the financial stress of a failed marriage? Welfare is not that much anyways $600 for a single person where rent is going to be $500. If a couple was to live together I am sure he would have been spending close to welfare money to support them. So either way it works out the same. Plus Welfare is for people who REALLY NEED IT. Not for able-working people to go on to spite their spouse.

Remember there's 2 sides to EVERY sad story.

 

[mcharade]

Yeah why are you guys recommending people to go on Welfare just so the Sponsor can pay the bill. That is evil and uneconomical. Put yourself in the Sponsor's shoe or is that Sponsor is a family/friend of you. You want them to go through the emotional and then the financial stress of a failed marriage? Welfare is not that much anyways $600 for a single person where rent is going to be $500. If a couple was to live together I am sure he would have been spending close to welfare money to support them. So either way it works out the same. Plus Welfare is for people who REALLY NEED IT. Not for able-working people to go on to spite their spouse.

Remember there's 2 sides to EVERY sad story.

OP has an 11 year old child. Working one job that may not pay very much while paying for school supplies, food, utilities and rent can be very difficult. Welfare is for people that need support whether or not they are working and OP seems to need help. If her husband abandoned her and is not paying child support then he doesn't deserve any compassion. Even if OP was a Canadian citizen he would need to pay child support. He is refusing to do so, even though it's usually a requirement during separations. No one here is telling OP to get on welfare just to spite her spouse. They are recommending it if she's struggling to pay her bills. That's what welfare is for.

However, I agree with the above posters. If OP goes on welfare now it very well could look to immigration as if this was always her plan. I don't think it's unreasonable for OP to demand child support however, as long as she can prove her husband is refusing to help. Technically, the child is now his responsibly too as he is the sponsor.

I hope things get better for you OP.

 

[scylla]

Yeah why are you guys recommending people to go on Welfare just so the Sponsor can pay the bill. That is evil and uneconomical. Put yourself in the Sponsor's shoe or is that Sponsor is a family/friend of you. You want them to go through the emotional and then the financial stress of a failed marriage? Welfare is not that much anyways $600 for a single person where rent is going to be $500. If a couple was to live together I am sure he would have been spending close to welfare money to support them. So either way it works out the same. Plus Welfare is for people who REALLY NEED IT. Not for able-working people to go on to spite their spouse.

Remember there's 2 sides to EVERY sad story.

This thread is a year old. No need to respond to dead threads.

 

[Aquakitty]

Yeah why are you guys recommending people to go on Welfare just so the Sponsor can pay the bill. That is evil and uneconomical. Put yourself in the Sponsor's shoe or is that Sponsor is a family/friend of you. You want them to go through the emotional and then the financial stress of a failed marriage? Welfare is not that much anyways $600 for a single person where rent is going to be $500. If a couple was to live together I am sure he would have been spending close to welfare money to support them. So either way it works out the same. Plus Welfare is for people who REALLY NEED IT. Not for able-working people to go on to spite their spouse.

Remember there's 2 sides to EVERY sad story.

Why are you digging up a year-old thread?

Anyways, when you sign a sponsorship undertaking, you are agreeing to SUPPORT the sponsored person and their dependants for 3 YEARS. If she must go on welfare to support herself, that's on him.

And of course there are 2 sides to the story. Unfortunately, we only have the one side, and can give advice and opinions on that only.

 

[LeelaD]

I see this thread is a year old, but still sad, I wonder what has happened since then for this woman :/

It's situations like this that should allow an ability to appeal condition 51 if it is applied to her, it can happen too that the sponsor can just abandon the marriage for no reason and does the other person deserve to be thrown into this kind of situation, absolutely not, I've had discussions about this before and even had people say it's just tough luck and 'that's life' the person should return to their country, it's awful that we can be hardened that way.

I hope for her sake and her sons she was able to figure something out.

 

[Mateomira]

Ok friends,I would like to write something about my life and my marriage.
In 2014 I got married with a man from my country who was a Canadian citizen,after sponsorship I arrived in Canada october last year,I left good job,family and everything with a dream to create a family with my husband in Canada.
And only after two months he didn't want me on his life because he was in relationship with a Canadian man,what a f...,why he married me,why he brought me here?
So I left Canada and I return back in my home country.
You are talking that a sponsors must be protected but what about us?
We came with a big dream about happy family and in the end we are broken with a destroyed life.
I think that a government must do something to punish the sponsors too,because if they are the Canadian citizen's they don't have a right to destroyed someone's life without any reason.
Sorry but this is only opinion.

 

[LeelaD]

Mateomira - that is awful, you have my sympathies...I totally agree - a right to appeal and just stating what you gave up to come here, how settled you are here and how the relationship disintegrated at the very least should be permitted, I just read today that they are planning to repeal condition 51 in the spring of 2017, I don't know if that is a great idea either...I would like to know the statistics for people who enter into MOC and who really is affected by condition 51's existence or not.
What is the point of having the sponsor sign an official agreement that they undertake to support the sponsored person if they can just whimsically abandon them.