Sex questions in interviews............ :-|

[BeShoo]

Here's another interesting case where there was disagreement about whether the couple engaged in sexual relations with a 7-8 year old son sleeping in the same room (they included a picture of him in bed with them), and whether they had sex while on vacation without the son. There were a lot of inconsistencies in their stories, but the questions about sexual relations were a major issue in the determination that the marriage was not genuine.

http://www.canlii.org/eliisa/highlight.do?text=%22sexual+relations%22&language=en&searchTitle=Federal+-+Immigration+and+Refugee+Board+of+Canada&path=/en/ca/irb/doc/2008/2008canlii76674/2008canlii76674.html

 

[BeShoo]

And it seemed to me that age is a factor really important . . . if it is indeed I am in trouble because my partner and I have an age difference. :/

An age difference alone is not enough to cause trouble, but it can be a negative, in combination with other factors. Whether it's an important factor depends on a lot of other things. Having a wife older than the husband is considered extremely unconventional in some countries, while other countries are more tolerant. Part of that issue is whether the wife is too old to bear the husband's children, and in conjunction with that, whether the husband wants children. In a society such as India, it's particularly suspicious if a never-married man marries a divorced older woman. A large age difference may indicate a lack of common interests, so you should be sure to mention common interests in such an application. I've seen cases (African, I think) where the IO denied an application based partly on the woman being only 3 or so years older than the man, but any of those decisions I've seen were overturned on appeal. A history of the younger partner having often dated people older than him/herself can be a mitigating factor. A decision depends on weighing all the evidence together, not just taking the age factor alone.

 

[dair2dv8103100]

I am curious...

My fiance and I have chosen (due to our religious beliefs) to not have sexual relations before our marriage. Do you think this will affect our status with immigration? Does this make our relationship less valid to them? I know we live in a world that does not readily practice this anymore and our decision is an unusual one. But we believe that for us this is the best way. I do not want to sacrifice my religious beliefs just for sex to try and make our relationship more believable for immigration.

 

[bobshynoswife]

I am curious...

My fiance and I have chosen (due to our religious beliefs) to not have sexual relations before our marriage. Do you think this will affect our status with immigration? Does this make our relationship less valid to them? I know we live in a world that does not readily practice this anymore and our decision is an unusual one. But we believe that for us this is the best way. I do not want to sacrifice my religious beliefs just for sex to try and make our relationship more believable for immigration.

absolutely no problem! they are looking for consistency in both of your answers, not whether or not you have sex. if you both say that due to your religious beliefs you will not engage in sexual relations before marriage, it is no problem. if you are applying as a married couple though, i think they would want to see that hte marriage has been consumated!

 

[giggles1985]

I agree, I think the issue with these examples provided is consistency. They aren't trying to "judge" you by how often you have sex or whatnot but if the man says they have and the woman says they haven't (or whatever) then obviously someone is lying and thats enough reason to call the relationship into question.

If you both agree and are consistent with your stories (as it should be if you just tell the truth!! ) then there should be no problem.

 

[BeShoo]

My fiance and I have chosen (due to our religious beliefs) to not have sexual relations before our marriage. Do you think this will affect our status with immigration?

There is certainly no requirement to have sex before marriage, but if you're trying to prove you're in a qualifying relationship and you haven't had sex, you ought to have a reason for it. Are you submitting an application after your wedding?

If you both agree and are consistent with your stories (as it should be if you just tell the truth!! ) then there should be no problem.

Yes, consistency is the most important thing, although a suspicious-looking marriage combined with no sex could also be a problem. That being said, sex is actually not 100% required in a genuine marriage or common-law/conjugal partnership, but it would definitely put the relationship in a grey area for many IOs. The official criteria reads somewhat like this: "The relationship must be exclusive, that is monogamous and in most cases sexual (although not necessarily sexual as this would potentially infringe upon cultural norms and the freedom of moral or religious choice)."

 

[Aroundtown22]

I haven't read this entire thread but it did get my angry/curious.

Is there some formal complaint process? It seems to me like this department of the federal government has ZERO accountability for anything that they do and as a citizen of Canada, it makes me really effing mad.

 

[dair2dv8103100]

Thank you for your responses

We will be applying after our marriage and assuming it does not take the entire 3 weeks to get married then of course it will be consummated : ...I just hope that 3 weeks will be long enough for everything to be done and for us to actually have time together as a married couple before I leave ???

As for these types of questions in an interview...If I am asked this type of question I would answer when the first time is....but other more intimate details are not necessary to validate a relationship and I would state that.

 

[toby]

As for these types of questions in an interview...If I am asked this type of question I would answer when the first time is....but other more intimate details are not necessary to validate a relationship and I would state that.

Absolutely!! Good for you. If we feed their God complexes, they become even more overbearing for the next applicant/interview.

 

[toby]

Here's another interesting case where there was disagreement about whether the couple engaged in sexual relations with a 7-8 year old son sleeping in the same room (they included a picture of him in bed with them), and whether they had sex while on vacation without the son. There were a lot of inconsistencies in their stories, but the questions about sexual relations were a major issue in the determination that the marriage was not genuine.

http://www.canlii.org/eliisa/highlight.do?text=%22sexual+relations%22&language=en&searchTitle=Federal+-+Immigration+and+Refugee+Board+of+Canada&path=/en/ca/irb/doc/2008/2008canlii76674/2008canlii76674.html

Very interesting case, indeed, BeShoo. Interesting, too, that even though the case turned on the sexual relationship between Appellant and Applicant, the questions themselves were respectful, and I would not balk at answering them in an interview.

We've had a lot of discussion on this point -- whether to "play nice" with a Visa Officer who asks embarrassing, intrusive questions about a couple's sexual relations (positions, preferences, etc) ostensibly to determine whether the relationship is authentic.

, or to challenge the need for the more intrusive questions.

I have suggested asking the VO why the intrusive questions are necessary, when more general questions (which side of the bed do you sleep on, etc) can do the job equally well. This case seems to support that suggestion: nosy, intrusive questions about a couple's sex life are not necessary.