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Review and comments for SOP

edsanchez07

Member
Jul 27, 2016
13
0
Hi guys,

I need your help checking this SOP created by my wife, we are applying to a college so we want to know your opinion about this SOP.

Thanks in advance.

Subject: APPLYING FOR STUDY PERMIT (Canada)

Please receive my cordial and respectful greetings. This communication is, first, to inform you that I have applied for admission in XXXXXXX College, which has been approved; and second, as derived from this admission, I am presenting to you my application for a study permit in Canada. The original letter of acceptance from the academic institution is attached.

I am a professional in Financial Management and Auditing, with a work experience of more than 3 years in different international companies such as XXX, XXX, XXX. I'm currently working as Accountant in the Accounts Payable Department of XXXX, a Canadian XXXXXX company in the XXXXX country. The original Letter from the employer is attached.

Due to the new globalized environment and the latest world market trends, I have decided to increase and specialize my professional growth, and strongly feel that this is the right moment for me to update my skills and concentrate on acquiring knowledge in a specific area, to pursue with a bright and secure future carrier in another country that is closely related to the development of the economy in the XXXX country. Actually, there's a huge demand of international business professionals, and many of the multinational companies are targeting business improvement employees with fluent English. But due to lack of business skilled professionals, companies are unable to find resources that fill all their requirements. So I'm sure once I'm back with a Business Administration-International Business diploma, the knowledge and experience, I will be highly valued by the employers in my country.

I have chosen a course and received the admission letter for Business Administration-International Business Program at XXXXXX, known by their top marks students, highly skilled and reliable graduated for employers, offering a program which includes courses and materials fitted to my necessities to compliment my bachelor’s degree and become more competitive in the market. With this program I will start my specialization path which is to become a Business Improvement Manager and/or Consultant, whom will find the best strategies to reduce costs and maximize a company’s net value. XXXX country and Canada are business partners, share human rights and free commerce treaty, having special interests on mining companies, being Canada one of the most important international investors in the country.

Other of the reasons I have decided to choose this destination is to enhance my studies and to achieve the improvement of my English to be able to have a fluid, understandable and better communication with managers, clients, suppliers, coworkers, corporate officers while negotiating, working and in all aspects after returning to my country. Owning this diploma, knowledge and experience will make me become a highly qualified, more valuable professional in business market and a desired employee for multinational companies in the XXXXXX country, helping me to achieve higher positions and to be closer to my personal goals and professional purposes.

Furthermore, Niagara is located in one of the most important trading province of Canada, close to almost all the corporate headquarters of multinational companies that operate in the XXXXXXX country, giving me the opportunity to connect and understand better the business environment and external affairs in this country, and to have a larger comprehension of the business culture allowing me to accomplish successful negotiations and effective agreements in the future.

All the experience and knowledge acquired will prepare me to join the growing mining industry market of the XXXXXX country. My family and I have very good contacts in the mining sector that will allow me to reinsert myself again quickly in the XXXXXX workforce in a very good position. Additionally, another future project is to join and implement improvements to a familiar business lead by my brother and father, an agrochemical company with a projection of becoming an international importer of agrochemical products and we have agreed that after my return I will manage all international transactions and business with suppliers, banks, and negotiations that need to be accomplished.

According to mine and my husband’s earnings and savings, we have sufficient funds in our accounts to cover our expenses in Canada. The total amount rises up to XXXXXX, approximately CAD$50,000.00. My tuition and fees costs will be covered by my husband Mr. XXXXXXX, who will accompany me. Additionally, I will receive economic support from my mother; also I took a loan for educational purposes in order to pay for outstanding expenses. Both mine and my husband’s bank statements are attached, showing the available funds.

The first year tuition and fees costs ascend to CAD$14,187.46 in total; it is important to mention that I will receive CAD$2,000.00 scholarship annually, as per the letter attached.

I really need your support issuing me a Study Permit that will allow me to accomplish my goal and dream of studying in Canada, starting the winter term on January 2017.

I consider that the information that I have provided is adequate; however, if you have any query, please contact me on my mobile XXXXXXXXX or email: XXXXXXXX@gmail.com

Thank you so much in advance for your kind consideration.


Yours sincerely,
 

Farko

Hero Member
Jan 26, 2016
305
8
Pls change ur program
And learn that u cannot get visa
If u have a bachelors degree
And u're going for just diploma
Go for PG.
It's a very simple thing
Ur sop is good but with that
Course u will get refused
 

edsanchez07

Member
Jul 27, 2016
13
0
Thanks for you reply, we currently have two options the current program that is just a 2 years Diploma, another program to that is 3years an advance Diploma in Business and a 2 year Graduate certificate, which one do you recommend between the last two.