Re-writing a new statement of purpose after refusal

[Parminder Dhanesar]

So my study visa got refused based on purpose of visit and I'm trying to resubmit my application. I chose a bachelor's degree in Human resource management but I already completed a bachelor's degree in my home country for Marketing Management. Is it valid if I state my that my reason for choosing that particular program is because I was appointment by my parents to manage our family business after I complete my studies? I also indicated that an international degree would bring more employment opportunities for me back in my country of origin and that it is generally sought after. Would that make any sense?
Could I also state that I chose another bachelors in a different field because I want to specialise in it and that although the home country offers plenty of programs, it would not be the same as to study in an international school.
I'd greatly appreciate any tips.
Thanks

 

[Shadow_Man]

So my study visa got refused based on purpose of visit and I'm trying to resubmit my application. I chose a bachelor's degree in Human resource management but I already completed a bachelor's degree in my home country for Marketing Management. Is it valid if I state my that my reason for choosing that particular program is because I was appointment by my parents to manage our family business after I complete my studies? I also indicated that an international degree would bring more employment opportunities for me back in my country of origin and that it is generally sought after. Would that make any sense?
Could I also state that I chose another bachelors in a different field because I want to specialise in it and that although the home country offers plenty of programs, it would not be the same as to study in an international school.
I'd greatly appreciate any tips.
Thanks

Those points are definitely useful but imho you should choose something other than a bachelors degree. If you do not have lengthy gab or work experience in the field then you can choose a pg program of relevance. If you have more than some years gap/work experience in the stated field, you should go for a masters. Also it does not make much sense that you would need a new degree(or even anything) to manage a family business ran by your parents.With the current plan I see another rejection upcoming, but it is up-to you to take the risk or not.

 

[Parminder Dhanesar]

What do you reckon I should do moving forward? Would it be a greater chance of approval if I change my degree to let's say, a master's in marketing or something like that? The college I applied to does not offer any master's program so it would definitely take a long time to process once again if I switch colleges

 

[Shadow_Man]

What do you reckon I should do moving forward? Would it be a greater chance of approval if I change my degree to let's say, a master's in marketing or something like that? The college I applied to does not offer any master's program so it would definitely take a long time to process once again if I switch colleges

Yes I would say you have a better chance if you apply for a masters. Spending a little more time would be better than getting another rejection and eventually spending much more time. Share your profile like, what your age is?, do you have any gap in your study?, you have work experience?, you have spouse and/or children?. People here could guide you better if those are shared.

 

[Parminder Dhanesar]

I'm 24 years old. I graduated with a bachelor's in marketing management in 2019. I had a 10 month gap after graduation then I applied in a call center where I worked as a CS rep in 2020. Before my CC job I applied as a property specialists but since I didn't hear anything from the company in itself I continued on with my current job. Just a few months in 2020 they contacted me and basically are looking to fill in for the position but I declined due to covid. I'm interning as a Real Time Analayst at the moment at my current company. No spouse, no children. 3 siblings, 2 of which are currently in Canada under study visa. I included in my SOP my travel history in Canada and the US as a child (2003) for two months then returned back to my home country afterwards. All 2 of my siblings who are in Canada studied business programs as well, so I included that in my SOP to stress that we are a business oriented family and that my parents would like for me to be the human resource manager of our family business after graduating in Canada and returning to home country.

 

[Parminder Dhanesar]

Sorry for the long post. I'm trying to summarize basically what I wrote for my new SOP.

Aside from coming back to the country to be the HR manager for the family business, I also wrote that I would love to apply for my dream job which is of a property specialist once the pandemic situation settles down in my country (is this a bad thing to include?). I just want to stress that I will still apply my bachelor's degree in marketing to get a job while acting as an HR manager for my family's business on the side.
Hope these information might help give some tips. Thank you

 

[Shadow_Man]

As far as I can see you have two major weakness in your profile. One is your choice of study. Two is family in Canada.

You have to choose a study that should be higher than your last study which is relevant in terms of your last subject of study/work. Taking a bachelors degree after a bachelors degree makes no progression thus VO deem it as a negative aspect of your file.

As for the family in Canada, you have two siblings in Canada. VO will assume you would not leave Canada and will stay with them. Hence, another negative point in your file.

You can fix 1st issue by selecting a program that will provide progression and is higher than your last qualifications. For the second issue, you can outweigh family in Canada by having significant home ties(in your home country). Home ties could include, your family back in the home country, immovable assets under your name, job prospects back in home country or globally, etc.

You have a travel history which definitely is a +, but you were young when you travelled so I don't think VO would give it more value. Explain in sop about your family business and explain that after your studies you would return to look after that. Don't say your parents will only hire you once you have x qualification.

Stress much more on your last refusal reasons as the next VO would be looking for that. Mention all the above points as well. Include all the necessary details and be truthful about everything. Including proofs for business back home can help, so include that. If you are sponsored by your parents then do include a letter from your parents that they would sponsor you for your whole studies. Again choose what to change and what to include in your sop logically. VO needs assurance that you are there to study only and will leave Canada once your study ends. Rest up-to the visa officer that looks your application and the luck. Best wishes.

 

[rogerdude1]

So my study visa got refused based on purpose of visit and I'm trying to resubmit my application. I chose a bachelor's degree in Human resource management but I already completed a bachelor's degree in my home country for Marketing Management. Is it valid if I state my that my reason for choosing that particular program is because I was appointment by my parents to manage our family business after I complete my studies? I also indicated that an international degree would bring more employment opportunities for me back in my country of origin and that it is generally sought after. Would that make any sense?
Could I also state that I chose another bachelors in a different field because I want to specialise in it and that although the home country offers plenty of programs, it would not be the same as to study in an international school.
I'd greatly appreciate any tips.
Thanks

May I ask when did you receive your refusal and was it a non-SDS or SDS application? If possible, pl share timeline. Thanks

 

[Parminder Dhanesar]

As far as I can see you have two major weakness in your profile. One is your choice of study. Two is family in Canada.

You have to choose a study that should be higher than your last study which is relevant in terms of your last subject of study/work. Taking a bachelors degree after a bachelors degree makes no progression thus VO deem it as a negative aspect of your file.

As for the family in Canada, you have two siblings in Canada. VO will assume you would not leave Canada and will stay with them. Hence, another negative point in your file.

You can fix 1st issue by selecting a program that will provide progression and is higher than your last qualifications. For the second issue, you can outweigh family in Canada by having significant home ties(in your home country). Home ties could include, your family back in the home country, immovable assets under your name, job prospects back in home country or globally, etc.

You have a travel history which definitely is a +, but you were young when you travelled so I don't think VO would give it more value. Explain in sop about your family business and explain that after your studies you would return to look after that. Don't say your parents will only hire you once you have x qualification.

Stress much more on your last refusal reasons as the next VO would be looking for that. Mention all the above points as well. Include all the necessary details and be truthful about everything. Including proofs for business back home can help, so include that. If you are sponsored by your parents then do include a letter from your parents that they would sponsor you for your whole studies. Again choose what to change and what to include in your sop logically. VO needs assurance that you are there to study only and will leave Canada once your study ends. Rest up-to the visa officer that looks your application and the luck. Best wishes.

Thank you for the detailed response. The point you made about the program I chose. The college I got accepted in only offers bachelor's programs and not postgrad and most certainly not a master's. I went ahead with that school because at the time I applied, most slots have been closed for indian international students in other BC colleges. I actually did apply to other schools that offered a pg diploma like kpu, bcit, kwantlen all in Vancouver, but like I said no slots were opened for indian nationals at the time of application. If I state that reason on my SOP would it make a difference? Plus, besides that a bachelor's degree in Canada isn't really equivalent to a bachelor's in my home country, more like an associate's degree if I could compare. Could I state that too?

 

[Parminder Dhanesar]

May I ask when did you receive your refusal and was it a non-SDS or SDS application? If possible, pl share timeline. Thanks

It was an SDS application, received the refusal exactly 4 days after biometrics

 

[rogerdude1]

It was an SDS application, received the refusal exactly 4 days after biometrics

Okay and was it in this current week?

 

[Parminder Dhanesar]

I received the refusal letter on June 14. Biometrics was on June 10

 

[rogerdude1]

I received the refusal letter on June 14. Biometrics was on June 10

Okay I was just wondering because rejections/PPRs are stopped in India since around 2 months and biometrics just started from 21 June.

 

[rogelcorral]

Plus, besides that a bachelor's degree in Canada isn't really equivalent to a bachelor's in my home country, more like an associate's degree if I could compare. Could I state that too?

If Canadian bachelors is only equivalent to an associate’s degree in your home country, aren’t you giving the VO more reason to question your purpose? Why choose to study in a country where the level of education is inferior to your home country? How would that help you in your career in home country?

 

[Parminder Dhanesar]

Got it. Luckily where I'm from

If Canadian bachelors is only equivalent to an associate’s degree in your home country, aren’t you giving the VO more reason to question your purpose? Why choose to study in a country where the level of education is inferior to your home country? How would that help you in your career in home country?

Oops my mistake. I didn't mean to say associate's degree, rather a 2 year diploma. So a 4 year bachelor's degree in the home country is comparable to a 2 year diploma in Canada.