Question about having a formal ceremony

[aerogurl87]

My boyfriend and I are common law and plan to get married in the future. But since we aren't engaged yet, and I heard that saying you are can hurt your application. I'm trying to come up with an answer to the question on having a formal commitment ceremony. So far I was going to say "We would want both of our families to be present for such a ceremony, since it would be the coming together of both of our families. Since this has been impossible to do as of late, we have decided to refrain from having such a ceremony."

How does that sound?

 

[veradis]

My husband and I just had a civil signing but no wedding or even a party when we got married (though we did get married on Valentine's Day, our one nod to romance). We were going to have a wedding in the summer when my family could all come to Cuba...but I've never really wanted a wedding and by the time the summer rolled around I hadn't planned anything so we just had a week together with our families with no wedding or big party.

Lots of people warned me that since our engagement/marriage was super-casual that it would be a big red flag for CIC. That you need lots of wedding pictures with all your friends and family around to prove the relationship is real. I don't believe that though. I just was very clear that neither of us were into formal ceremonies or traditions in my application. I don't think it really hurt us...though it may have been the reason he had an interview. It's about a 50/50 chance of having an interview in Cuba.

I think it's important to not worry too much about what CIC is expecting or thinking and just make sure that you are very sincere about why your relationship decisions work for you as a couple. In your application ensure you are very clear about why you've made your decision to not get married yet or have any formal commitment yet. I would probably expand on what you said below, but it sounds like it's on the right track.

 

[truesmile]

That was pretty much our reason for not having a "formal engagement party/celebration", they ask you "if not, why?" for that one too. Our answer, "no family other than one sibling would be in attendance".

 

[veradis]

That was pretty much our reason for not having a "formal engagement party/celebration", they ask you "if not, why?" for that one too. Our answer, "no family other than one sibling would be in attendance".

Yeah that engagement party question threw me for a loop. I didn't even know people did that. I thought maybe it was a cultural thing in other cultures that I'd never heard of. But since I found out about it, I've admittedly seen lots of people with weird 'frolicking through fields' engagement photos and having parties and stuff. I always felt that getting married was just between my husband and me and that all the bells and whistles and frills and expensive everything is cheesy and ostentatious. But I recognize that most women don't think like me ;D

 

[KJG]

Yeah that engagement party question threw me for a loop. I didn't even know people did that. I thought maybe it was a cultural thing in other cultures that I'd never heard of. But since I found out about it, I've admittedly seen lots of people with weird 'frolicking through fields' engagement photos and having parties and stuff. I always felt that getting married was just between my husband and me and that all the bells and whistles and frills and expensive everything is cheesy and ostentatious. But I recognize that most women don't think like me ;D

I like weddings but I have to agree "engagement parties" are over the top....we just went out for a nice romantic dinnner the two of us and then joined up with friends later in the evening and that was perfect as far as I was concerned......party NO...private celebration YES

 

[CharlieD10]

Yeah that engagement party question threw me for a loop. I didn't even know people did that. I thought maybe it was a cultural thing in other cultures that I'd never heard of. But since I found out about it, I've admittedly seen lots of people with weird 'frolicking through fields' engagement photos and having parties and stuff. I always felt that getting married was just between my husband and me and that all the bells and whistles and frills and expensive everything is cheesy and ostentatious. But I recognize that most women don't think like me ;D

Our "engagement party" consisted of me bringing my husband home to meet my mother and then our entire family packing ourselves off to the beach. All the pictures of us taken that day are of us in one state of semi-dress or another with someone covered in sand and sea water. Our wedding attendance was 14 people including ourselves, and the "reception" was a table for 12 at a sushi restaurant following our very traditional wedding ceremony. If all of this sounds somewhat unconventional and off-the-cuff, it's because, to borrow a popular phrase, "that's how we roll". From a reading of our relationship timeline, it is obvious that unconventional, off-the-cuff elements with some nods to tradition thrown in is very much who we are as a couple and it is reflected in how we celebrated our commitment to each other.

I say all of this to say, whatever you do/don't do should reflect who you are as a couple. Don't feel constrained to someone else's idea of traditional or feel you must mimic someone else's application to get it right. What matters is that whatever you do is so obviously "you", there's no question that you're doing it for yourselves and not as a show for Immigration.

 

[aerogurl87]

Thanks everyone, we're not married yet (planning to do so in a few years) but even then I've told my boyfriend that I either want something very small (meaning immediate family and close friends only) or for us to elope. So I think this will work.

 

[Harju]

We just said that we did not have a formal ceremony because everyone knew about our relationship and there was no reason to have a formal ceremony. We did not consider it because in Canada it is not normal to have a formal ceremony to start a common-law relationship. We also added that we went out to dinner to celebrate moving in together (and provided the visa bill for the dinner that night which we put as the day of the start of our common-law relationship.)

 

[JessicaRJ]

Marrying a Cuban

Hi I have seen some posts about marrying Cubans and the process. I am looking for some advice, clarifications and moral support. On a positive note..my good friend who was married in March to a Cuban her husband is arriving today!!

 

[Rob_TO]

My boyfriend and I are common law and plan to get married in the future. But since we aren't engaged yet, and I heard that saying you are can hurt your application. I'm trying to come up with an answer to the question on having a formal commitment ceremony. So far I was going to say "We would want both of our families to be present for such a ceremony, since it would be the coming together of both of our families. Since this has been impossible to do as of late, we have decided to refrain from having such a ceremony."

How does that sound?

We were common-law and stated in our application were also engaged (and showed photo of ring). There were no problems at all for us being engaged.

For the ceremony question, we simply stated in neither of our cultures is an engagement ceremony necessary, all our friends/family knew we were engaged (we showed the facebook entry announcing it), and that was it.

 

[aerogurl87]

We were common-law and stated in our application were also engaged (and showed photo of ring). There were no problems at all for us being engaged.

For the ceremony question, we simply stated in neither of our cultures is an engagement ceremony necessary, all our friends/family knew we were engaged (we showed the facebook entry announcing it), and that was it.

We ended up saying that we didn't feel that having a formal ceremony would be right since it's traditionally reserved for an actual wedding ceremony here. We're engaged now though, and we've decided to just wait to have a wedding after I'm done landing (which hopefully will be soon since I got my PPR already). Thanks though.