Port of Spain Office, Trinidad and Tobago

[Anxiouswifey]

Sometimes things does be slow in processing, and all of a sudden you waiting, and waiting... and BOOM! it done! and well other times things does take longer.
Wah yuh go do, its a process, like it or not, if it eh kill meh, or result in a divorce, then it sure as well will make us stronger in the relationship. After we all finish with this, I wish you never have to spend more than a week away from our spouses (shet, I eh letting she out of meh sight!much less a week, or a weekend lol) Or may we never get impatience with any Govt process. I mean we would have been through hell and back.

We just have to wait...I mean we know what we was getting into (at least I knew vs my wife).

But I have a few questions, and look for your advise.

Q1. Did some of you expect to take a period of time, and have to go through all of this? (I'm not meaning the extra wait time, or bumps in the road).
I ask this, because I knew what was expected at least 6 on the minimum, 9 on the max, and FK~! or a year if *censored word* goes down hill, and we have to appeal a negative decision.

Q2. How did that conversation go?
I tried talking to my wife about this, and set the expectation. I believe she understood the expectations from the beginning. But she being in the US, and as you know the the process to landing, is like fkn 3-6 months...she forgets that each country has their own times and process.

Q3. When you visit your spouse what do you do? Do you tend to spend a few days inside and not seeing the sun (you know what i mean). Or do you go out and see family, friends and do things on your own?
For her and I - we alternate locations. Trip 1, I bus, plane, drive to NJ/NY see her, and her family, and mine. We hang out, go places, dinner, do family intertwined things. On Trip 2, she takes a bus to Buffalo, I drive to Buff, and we seriously don't come out for a solid day. Then go do stuff, dinner, sight seeing, walks, or making breakfast in the hotel room etc... Then we alternative back, or change up a bit. For the most part, I try to force a 3rd trip to Buffalo, this way its just her and I, no family to bother us, and we can spend quality time together wo inerruptions


Cheers,

Ryan

My husband I were expecting a wait... We knew we wanted to get married since 2013, but for the sake of this process, we delayed our wedding by two years to ensure we had no issues with this relationship... So we got married in 2015, the expectation was for me to come back to Canada and apply to sponsor him and my step kids right away but finances didn't turn up and things kept getting in the way. We applied early November 2015 and we feel pretty confident that the kids will be starting the new school year here in September.

The topic of how long the waiting process is never goes well... we tend to argue when we focus on it... So we try our best to not really discuss it. He might have already been here by now if certain things hadn't happened and they are a bone of contention. He also doesn't understand that the government isn't just going to let him waltz into the country. My mom passed away just shortly after we submitted our application, and we felt the distance a lot then. I felt bad because I would cry all the time, and he was like I wish I could be there with you... and that would get us vex all over about the process.

I see my husband once a year for a month. I grew up in Canada, and going back home to Guyana is tough. Usually the first two weeks we are happy as can be... and we spend time as a family. By the third week, I am over Guyana, and so that plays out in arguments because I get homesick for Canada. By the last week we are back to the status quo because we know time soon done. 4 weeks is never enough time, but it's all that we can afford. I wish he were in a Visa exempt country so he could come to Canada. I feel it would be cheaper him coming here, rather than me going there, but alas, that is not our story.

I suffer from anxiety and so when our application wasn't being processed in the beginning, it fueled a lot discord between us. We both wanted results but there was nothing either of us could do to make it happen. Now are application is moving along at a good clip and we are very hopeful to get a decision made soon. In the mean time while I wait, I try to enjoy my last moments of being a single mother and I try and spend lots of time with my own son, and also by myself. Once my husband arrives with the kids i will be a wife and a mother of three for real....

 

[ryanr]

My husband I were expecting a wait... We knew we wanted to get married since 2013, but for the sake of this process, we delayed our wedding by two years to ensure we had no issues with this relationship... So we got married in 2015, the expectation was for me to come back to Canada and apply to sponsor him and my step kids right away but finances didn't turn up and things kept getting in the way. We applied early November 2015 and we feel pretty confident that the kids will be starting the new school year here in September.

The topic of how long the waiting process is never goes well... we tend to argue when we focus on it... So we try our best to not really discuss it. He might have already been here by now if certain things hadn't happened and they are a bone of contention. He also doesn't understand that the government isn't just going to let him waltz into the country. My mom passed away just shortly after we submitted our application, and we felt the distance a lot then. I felt bad because I would cry all the time, and he was like I wish I could be there with you... and that would get us vex all over about the process.

I see my husband once a year for a month. I grew up in Canada, and going back home to Guyana is tough. Usually the first two weeks we are happy as can be... and we spend time as a family. By the third week, I am over Guyana, and so that plays out in arguments because I get homesick for Canada. By the last week we are back to the status quo because we know time soon done. 4 weeks is never enough time, but it's all that we can afford. I wish he were in a Visa exempt country so he could come to Canada. I feel it would be cheaper him coming here, rather than me going there, but alas, that is not our story.

I suffer from anxiety and so when our application wasn't being processed in the beginning, it fueled a lot discord between us. We both wanted results but there was nothing either of us could do to make it happen. Now are application is moving along at a good clip and we are very hopeful to get a decision made soon. In the mean time while I wait, I try to enjoy my last moments of being a single mother and I try and spend lots of time with my own son, and also by myself. Once my husband arrives with the kids i will be a wife and a mother of three for real....

Hi Anxiouswifey


Thanks for your great input, I appreciate it.

It’s interesting...cuz I’m going through similar to you. I knew what we were going to do, and had to go through with getting the application ready, and putting the supporting docs together. At the same time there were delays in getting new TT passport, FBI - Police clearance, and lastly putting the entire 3 binders together. Additional time also passed because I wanted to make sure we had enough supporting documentation, multiple trips, family events, and a Hawaii trip (backside, I never heard her complain on that trip!!! lols.

She does get upset at me, because I took this time, some of it is laziness because of the amount of work, and the rest is time to put it together. Then we argue about getting our life on track, and move forward. She wants to move on w life + kids.
I cant fault her for being upset, she's a lady, experiencing life, and wants to enjoy it. So for the most time i keep my mouth shut, and allow her to vent.


But at the end, I still stick to my guns that I can’t afford, nor am I taking a chance for her to go to TT (as we don't know how long the wait time from interview to Visa approval).
At the same time, I see and read about crime happening in TT, plus she's not been in TT for at-least 11 years now.

None the less, it’s all in, and slowly but surely there is hope that the App is being processed. Like I said earlier, if this sheitt doesn’t kill us, or cause a divorce, we sure as hell eh separating til me or she dead! Lol



Cheers,

Ryan

 

[ryanr]

The weekend is here - Murphy's Law hit the fan, and I'm stuck at work for another hour.

Still have to pack clothes, pick-up food, and head to buffalo to meet her.


All - I wish you a safe, wonderful, and cold Family day weekend.

Cheers, see you all Tuesday.


Ryan

 

[Anxiouswifey]

The weekend is here - Murphy's Law hit the fan, and I'm stuck at work for another hour.

Still have to pack clothes, pick-up food, and head to buffalo to meet her.


All - I wish you a safe, wonderful, and cold Family day weekend.

Cheers, see you all Tuesday.


Ryan

You know you're right, if the relationship can survive this, it really can survive anything!

Have a great long weekend and enjoy the time with your wife!

 

[WaitingSince2012]

None the less, it’s all in, and slowly but surely there is hope that the App is being processed. Like I said earlier, if this sheitt doesn’t kill us, or cause a divorce, we sure as hell eh separating til me or she dead! Lol

Cheers,

Ryan

As long as you guys love and trust each other don't let this get the better of either of you.

I have been fighting this battle for 4 years now and I am not about to give up. I am hoping it will all be a distant memory soon. It hasn't been easy, especially since we have a kid now, but we try to be as patient as we can be. Mind you we have had our arguments and not talk to each other for a day or two every so often, but at the end of the day we always remember what we are fighting for.

I wish you the best of luck.

Not to scare you or anything but if you read the spousal appeal topic you will see the many people waiting 4 and 5 years and they haven't given up or lost hope.

 

[ryanr]

As long as you guys love and trust each other don't let this get the better of either of you.

I have been fighting this battle for 4 years now and I am not about to give up. I am hoping it will all be a distant memory soon. It hasn't been easy, especially since we have a kid now, but we try to be as patient as we can be. Mind you we have had our arguments and not talk to each other for a day or two every so often, but at the end of the day we always remember what we are fighting for.

I wish you the best of luck.

Not to scare you or anything but if you read the spousal appeal topic you will see the many people waiting 4 and 5 years and they haven't given up or lost hope.

4 years? WTF! (pardon my lang) That is unreal! No person should go through the pain and suffering you are going through. I say this because we are applying from a country where there are rules, regs, and policies up the ying yang. Meeting the criteria is a given, and we all should expect that there is time go through this (we just don't want any wishy washy willy nilly person coming into Canada).

Whichever of the spouse lives in Canada, I would get the local appointed politician/councillor involved, and CC the higher up. If they want my vote next year, they would need to step up to the plate and do something about it.
> Has anyone tried this? Seen,m or heard anyone else do anything like this?

At this point, no matter the situation, red tape, red flag, I would raise hell. I understand there are processes, and policies in place, and we must jump through, and meet the criteria. One year for processing, and a 2nd year for appeal but a 3rd and 4th? That is just unreal!
Am I being too rash with this? Im new to the wait, so I may be bull headed, and not thought out the entire process.


I don't know your case or issues that is making the process take this long - not is it my business. But its just krazy!!! The pain of time, being away from your spouse is one thing. The kids having to grow up without their parent is another, and just doesn't cut it or however you spend time as a family.

The worst case is with kids, and I am really sorry for this. My wife is in NJ, and I go bonkers not seeing her every 4-6 weeks for the weekend. You guys are much much stronger than I to put up with it so long, or being so so far away. Granted, if I was to be in your situation I would have no choice. I read where another member (pardon me for not remembering their name), whom gets 1 month a year to spend with their loved one - ONCE! a year? WTF!

QUESTION TO EVERYONE:

1. How do you juggle time to spend with your family (kids)+spouse? How you split it up (vacation, non-paid time off)? 1 month, 2x2 weeks, every 3 months a week
- I personally plan a head every 4-6 weeks to take the weekend (Fri-Sun off of work (mind you I work 7 days a week, 12-20 hrs a shift), or 8 weeks if we plan to go somewhere which will take up more than the weekend.
I do it so that trip 1 to NJ (see our families), trip 2 & 3 to Buffalo (stay in, relax, movies, tv, take a walk, sight see), trip 4 back to NJ with family

From what i've read
- One member takes a month off to go away with their loved one and family
- Another spent the summer doing some travelling in Europe

2. Kids - How do you plan on having them [the little rugrats they are]
My wife and I are sorta getting in some heat with this. She wants kids soon like yesterday, I don't until we complete this process, and she is here in Canada.
Don't get me wrong, I want kids too, but I want her to come here, enjoy life a bit. I want to travel travel with her, where she can experience her life wo kids. I know she's not done much travelling or doing things on her own. I want her to see the "world" before kids if that makes any sense. To the mom's and dad's don't get me wrong, when you have kids I know its a whole new episode of love and life you experience. But it will never be like before marriage (at least I don't think...) am I missing something here? Over thinking this?.
I'll also be honest...Part two of this, and the most important reason, I don't want her there, me here, and she go through a pregnancy on her own - esp with our first child!
How did you guys handle or deal with this? Am i making a kakahole out of a mole hill?


Thank you, Cheers,

Ryan


PS: Granted I’ve done it since 2013 when my wife and I were dating, 2014 Aug to present as we are married. The next step is to wait it out until at least in 2016 while our application is inside.

So being somewhat new to this hurry up with the application and NOW WAIT! - I may be brutish and gung-ho about this. I respect each and every one of you, and praise what you've been, and presently going through.
I look forward to hear some of your stories, your advice, and how to handle this distance, and time away.

 

[Anxiouswifey]

4 years? WTF! (pardon my lang) That is unreal! No person should go through the pain and suffering you are going through. I say this because we are applying from a country where there are rules, regs, and policies up the ying yang. Meeting the criteria is a given, and we all should expect that there is time go through this (we just don't want any wishy washy willy nilly person coming into Canada).

Whichever of the spouse lives in Canada, I would get the local appointed politician/councilor involved, and CC the higher up. If they want my vote next year, they would need to step up to the plate and do something about it.
> Has anyone tried this? Seen,m or heard anyone else do anything like this?

At this point, no matter the situation, red tape, red flag, I would raise hell. I understand there are processes, and policies in place, and we must jump through, and meet the criteria. One year for processing, and a 2nd year for appeal but a 3rd and 4th? That is just unreal!
Am I being too rash with this? Im new to the wait, so I may be bull headed, and not thought out the entire process.


I don't know your case or issues that is making the process take this long - not is it my business. But its just krazy!!! The pain of time, being away from your spouse is one thing. The kids having to grow up without their parent is another, and just doesn't cut it or however you spend time as a family.

The worst case is with kids, and I am really sorry for this. My wife is in NJ, and I go bonkers not seeing her every 4-6 weeks for the weekend. You guys are much much stronger than I to put up with it so long, or being so so far away. Granted, if I was to be in your situation I would have no choice. I read where another member (pardon me for not remembering their name), whom gets 1 month a year to spend with their loved one - ONCE! a year? WTF!

QUESTION TO EVERYONE:

1. How do you juggle time to spend with your family (kids)+spouse? How you split it up (vacation, non-paid time off)? 1 month, 2x2 weeks, every 3 months a week
- I personally plan a head every 4-6 weeks to take the weekend (Fri-Sun off of work (mind you I work 7 days a week, 12-20 hrs a shift), or 8 weeks if we plan to go somewhere which will take up more than the weekend.
I do it so that trip 1to NJ (see our families), trip 2 & 3 to Buffalo (stay in, relax, movies, tv, take a walk, sight see), trip 4 back to NJ with family

- One member takes a whole month off to go away with their loved one and family.
- Another spent the summer doing some travelling in Europe

2. Kids - How do you plan on having them [the little rugrats they are]
My wife and I are sorta getting in some heat with this. She wants kids soon like yesterday, I don't until we complete this process, and she is here in Canada.
Don't get me wrong, I want kids too, but I want her to come here, enjoy life a bit. I want to travel travel with her, where she can experience her life wo kids. I know she's not done much travelling or doing things on her own. I want her to see the "world" before kids if that makes any sense. To the mom's and dad's don't get me wrong, when you have kids I know its a whole new episode of love and life you experience. But it will never be like before marriage (atleast I don't think...) am I missing something here? Over thinking this?.
I'll also be honest...Part two of this, I don't want her there, me here, and she go through a pregnancy on her own - esp my first kid!
How did you guys handle or deal with this? Am i making a kakahole out of a mole hill?


Thank you, Cheers,

Ryan

I go once a year to see my hubby...it's all that we afford. I get four weeks of vacation and I use it all up to spend time with him... I didn't book a month off this year because I feel pretty confident he is coming this year. I am praying and I am believing God will make it happen...

As for kids, between the two of us, we already have three boys. I thought I wanted another kid, but jumping from only having one kid to an additional two kids might be more than I bargained for so I can wait...

My husband and I talked it over and we thought it would be best to wait it out and as we all have to adjust and it would be nice to deal with that first before bringing another kid into the mix.

I know my husband would have been very disappointed if I had gotten preggers after my last trip and he wasn't around to help out with things.

 

[WaitingSince2012]

4 years? WTF! (pardon my lang) That is unreal! No person should go through the pain and suffering you are going through. I say this because we are applying from a country where there are rules, regs, and policies up the ying yang. Meeting the criteria is a given, and we all should expect that there is time go through this (we just don't want any wishy washy willy nilly person coming into Canada).

Whichever of the spouse lives in Canada, I would get the local appointed politician/councillor involved, and CC the higher up. If they want my vote next year, they would need to step up to the plate and do something about it.
> Has anyone tried this? Seen,m or heard anyone else do anything like this?

At this point, no matter the situation, red tape, red flag, I would raise hell. I understand there are processes, and policies in place, and we must jump through, and meet the criteria. One year for processing, and a 2nd year for appeal but a 3rd and 4th? That is just unreal!
Am I being too rash with this? Im new to the wait, so I may be bull headed, and not thought out the entire process.


I don't know your case or issues that is making the process take this long - not is it my business. But its just krazy!!! The pain of time, being away from your spouse is one thing. The kids having to grow up without their parent is another, and just doesn't cut it or however you spend time as a family.

The worst case is with kids, and I am really sorry for this. My wife is in NJ, and I go bonkers not seeing her every 4-6 weeks for the weekend. You guys are much much stronger than I to put up with it so long, or being so so far away. Granted, if I was to be in your situation I would have no choice. I read where another member (pardon me for not remembering their name), whom gets 1 month a year to spend with their loved one - ONCE! a year? WTF!

QUESTION TO EVERYONE:

1. How do you juggle time to spend with your family (kids)+spouse? How you split it up (vacation, non-paid time off)? 1 month, 2x2 weeks, every 3 months a week
- I personally plan a head every 4-6 weeks to take the weekend (Fri-Sun off of work (mind you I work 7 days a week, 12-20 hrs a shift), or 8 weeks if we plan to go somewhere which will take up more than the weekend.
I do it so that trip 1 to NJ (see our families), trip 2 & 3 to Buffalo (stay in, relax, movies, tv, take a walk, sight see), trip 4 back to NJ with family

From what i've read
- One member takes a month off to go away with their loved one and family
- Another spent the summer doing some travelling in Europe

2. Kids - How do you plan on having them [the little rugrats they are]
My wife and I are sorta getting in some heat with this. She wants kids soon like yesterday, I don't until we complete this process, and she is here in Canada.
Don't get me wrong, I want kids too, but I want her to come here, enjoy life a bit. I want to travel travel with her, where she can experience her life wo kids. I know she's not done much travelling or doing things on her own. I want her to see the "world" before kids if that makes any sense. To the mom's and dad's don't get me wrong, when you have kids I know its a whole new episode of love and life you experience. But it will never be like before marriage (at least I don't think...) am I missing something here? Over thinking this?.
I'll also be honest...Part two of this, and the most important reason, I don't want her there, me here, and she go through a pregnancy on her own - esp with our first child!
How did you guys handle or deal with this? Am i making a kakahole out of a mole hill?

Thank you, Cheers,

Ryan

PS: Granted I’ve done it since 2013 when my wife and I were dating, 2014 Aug to present as we are married. The next step is to wait it out until at least in 2016 while our application is inside.

So being somewhat new to this hurry up with the application and NOW WAIT! - I may be brutish and gung-ho about this. I respect each and every one of you, and praise what you've been, and presently going through.
I look forward to hear some of your stories, your advice, and how to handle this distance, and time away.

I know, it hasn't been an easy journey, but we have survived it so far and I am hoping to have him here by April or May time.

There were a few red flags, one being him overstaying his visitor visa, he was here in Canada when we met. We dated for about a year and a half before we got married, but we have never spend an anniversary together lol (August will be our 5th anniversary). I was 3 months preggers when he had to leave cause I was told I cannot sponsor him from within the country. We bought a house before we got married thinking that will help a bit but nope lol. Between 2012 and last February I visited him 6 times (our son 5 times). I ever went with him to T&T for his interview (the VO told him that she had no doubt about the marriage being genuine but when we received her decision it was a negative one). I appealed and won the appeal last October, took me 2 years to get an appeal date in TO. I even went to the local MP and they told me they cannot do anything since the case was at POS. His family also had a lot to do with our situation (you know the ones that don't want to see you get up in life lol). Our son will be starting school in September and he didn't really had any time with him.

So yea on top of paying a mortgage, bills and taking care of a kid and help support him when he cant find work, I still try to visit him as often as I can which is still not as much as I would like lol.

So my advise to you is if you can wait to have kids do it, I can't imagine what my husband goes through every day not being able to spend with his son (I only know as much as he complains) lol. It definitely wasn't easy doing through my pregnancy alone with our first kid. I would have had another kid already if he wasn't away (old age is catching up) lol.

 

[DSM]

waitingsince2012, I must say hats off to you and your spouse. I got married in May 2014. My application was submitted in Dec 2014. In 3-4 months time will be 2 yrs of not living with my husband. I live in Trinidad, he's in Canada. I travel when I can and so does he, but its not the same especially when we have to say goodbye to eachother and not sure when next we will met again. We haven't seen each other in 3 mths. We Skype but its not the same. It's crazy but I check my status few times a day to see if it changed from "in process" to "decision made". How do I get by this, I have to constantly remind myself everyday past is a day closer to hearing good news. No matter what situation we face in life we never give up and trust in god for he makes no mistake and his timing is unquestionable.

 

[Anxiouswifey]

waitingsince2012, I must say hats off to you and your spouse. I got married in May 2014. My application was submitted in Dec 2014. In 3-4 months time will be 2 yrs of not living with my husband. I live in Trinidad, he's in Canada. I travel when I can and so does he, but its not the same especially when we have to say goodbye to eachother and not sure when next we will met again. We haven't seen each other in 3 mths. We Skype but its not the same. It's crazy but I check my status few times a day to see if it changed from "in process" to "decision made". How do I get by this, I have to constantly remind myself everyday past is a day closer to hearing good news. No matter what situation we face in life we never give up and trust in god for he makes no mistake and his timing is unquestionable.

Amen!

Quick question... did you have to provide additional information?

 

[DSM]

Amen!

Quick question... did you have to provide additional information?

Yes, brief history: In May 2015 they ask me to provide a FBI clearance certificate. It took me 6 months to obtain this, as the first set of finger prints were rejected so last Aug I travel to Toronto to get the prints done. These were accepted and thankful in Dec I provided IC with the clearance. Last month they ask me to re-submit a certificate of character for Trinidad as the previous one had expired. This was sent to them Jan 20 2016. Haven't heard from them since.

 

[Anxiouswifey]

Yes, brief history: In May 2015 they ask me to provide a FBI clearance certificate. It took me 6 months to obtain this, as the first set of finger prints were rejected so last Aug I travel to Toronto to get the prints done. These were accepted and thankful in Dec I provided IC with the clearance. Last month they ask me to re-submit a certificate of character for Trinidad as the previous one had expired. This was sent to them Jan 20 2016. Haven't heard from them since.

Okay, i understand! hopefully soon you will get a decision made. I'm thinking this month for sure!

 

[ryanr]

waitingsince2012, I must say hats off to you and your spouse. I got married in May 2014. My application was submitted in Dec 2014. In 3-4 months time will be 2 yrs of not living with my husband. I live in Trinidad, he's in Canada. I travel when I can and so does he, but its not the same especially when we have to say goodbye to eachother and not sure when next we will met again. We haven't seen each other in 3 mths. We Skype but its not the same. It's crazy but I check my status few times a day to see if it changed from "in process" to "decision made". How do I get by this, I have to constantly remind myself everyday past is a day closer to hearing good news. No matter what situation we face in life we never give up and trust in god for he makes no mistake and his timing is unquestionable.

I agree - waitingsince2012 I don't know how you do it, but you def got the time game strong.

As other have said, prayers and the lord does help and keep the sanity in check. His timing is indeed impeccable - but still "GHezzz come-on nah man give me a small ting' self". But you right, when the time is right things will happen.

I know the feeling, each trip gets harder, and harder. Lately, I've been drowning myself into work so I don't think about it. It also started off as 2 day login to check the status, and now its its daily.

 

[tdguy]

Hey you guys.... hope all is well....

 

[ryanr]

Hey you guys.... hope all is well....

Lol that made me laugh - anyone remember The Goonies movie (1995ish)?

*Not sure if I did that right - but copy and paste the link if needed.

Im good - getting back to normal after the weekend. I went to Buffalo and spent time with my wife (ghezzzus backside it was cold -21oC/-310C w windchill), then with my family and close friends for the family day Monday in Niagara Falls.

How are you doing tdguy? How was your weekend?


Cheers,

Ryan