MARRYING COUSINS, any problems?

[Ranes]

I just stumbled accross this forum and thought it was awesome! So glad that there is a forum for everyone with the same process to share experiences and help others.

I am canadian citizen since 15 years ago. I recently started my sponsorship application for my wife through Damascus (Wife lives in Jordan). They recieved my applicated begining of July and is now "In Process".

Now I know some of you are very against this idea so Im sure I'll hear a few negative comments but whatever, I better get used to it since we are in canada and all.
My question is, marrying your first cousin (dad's brother's daughter) is considered a "legal marriage" in canada, correct? does this affect the decision at all? anyone here married to their cousins and gone through the process (you can send me a msg via inbox if you dont want to admit to the forum ).

The reason I'm asking is because in the application they want a lot of details about how you met/where/where etc, and since we are cousins its hard to answer those. I didn't send them any proof of relationship prior to marriage because I went there to visit family not even thinking about marriage (after not going there for 15 years), saw her, liked her, married her, had a wedding, went on trip, then I came back. (sent them pix )


your feedback is appreciated... and try to keep the anti-cousin hating to a minimum lol

Thanks!

 

[Leon]

As far as I know, it's legal in Canada. The only problem you might have is the lack of building up to a relationship before getting married. They might see it as doing a favour for your cousin to get her PR.

 

[Al.Abed]

Marrying your cousin is legal in canada. I know a lot of people that married their cousins in canada (no sponsorship) and I know a few that have sponsored (but I dont know their details).

As for the proof, I'm not sure, but what you did is quite common in Jordan (and all of Middle East countries). A lot of people from here just go home for a couple weeks and do some wife shopping and come back married, so Damascus SHOULD take that into consideration.


ahlan wa sahlan, eb3atle msg eza bedak shee

 

[invisibleminority77]

As far as I know it is legal. That said, I think it should be banned.

For example a BBC report found that Pakistanis in Britain, 55% of whom marry a first cousin, are 13 times more likely than the general population to produce children with genetic disorders, and that one in ten children of cousin marriages either dies in infancy or develops a serious disability. Thus Pakistani-Britons, who account for some 3% of all births in the UK, produce "just under a third" of all British children with genetic illnesses.

You can find the link here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/4442010.stm

In layman's terms, inbreeding carries a high risk of producing defect offspring. Canadian taxpayers will have to foot the bill and it puts a strain on the health care system. I am an immigrant myself but I would never be this selfish and abuse the hospitality of Canada.

 

[Harry2500]

I just stumbled accross this forum and thought it was awesome! So glad that there is a forum for everyone with the same process to share experiences and help others.

I am canadian citizen since 15 years ago. I recently started my sponsorship application for my wife through Damascus (Wife lives in Jordan). They recieved my applicated begining of July and is now "In Process".

Now I know some of you are very against this idea so Im sure I'll hear a few negative comments but whatever, I better get used to it since we are in canada and all.
My question is, marrying your first cousin (dad's brother's daughter) is considered a "legal marriage" in canada, correct? does this affect the decision at all? anyone here married to their cousins and gone through the process (you can send me a msg via inbox if you dont want to admit to the forum ).

The reason I'm asking is because in the application they want a lot of details about how you met/where/where etc, and since we are cousins its hard to answer those. I didn't send them any proof of relationship prior to marriage because I went there to visit family not even thinking about marriage (after not going there for 15 years), saw her, liked her, married her, had a wedding, went on trip, then I came back. (sent them pix )


your feedback is appreciated... and try to keep the anti-cousin hating to a minimum lol

Thanks!

All you need is simply tell them you liked here there when you visited and its arrange marrage its culture there ,I am in US and so many Americans ask about arrange marrege simply tell them it was arranged merrege and they have an idea about it.

 

[mingus]

Yeaaa another person from Jordan!!!! Ranes, your marriage is reconized in Jordan so it will be reconized in Canada.

As well, since you are both from the same country,culture and religion It shouldn't be too much of a problem. I'm not exactly sure how to discribe your marriage since it was arranged but not. I guess not previously arranged would be a good way of describing it. When you submit your wife's paperwork, make sure you explain in detail how you came to be in Jordan, how you met, any family interaction, everything step by step. Your marriage is very traditional for Jordan but do not expect that the immigration officer will see it that way or even understand it.

What every you do, do not refer to your trip as shopping for a wife - Al.Abed, I know you were joking in this comment, just many Canadian's would take this the wrong way. I understand exactly what you mean but 3 years ago I would have been horrified if I had read this.

I am not from Jordan, nor do I have any type of Middle Eastern background. My husband was refused his PR because the IO believd the only reason my husband married me was to get into Canada. However, in a way we had a traditional courtship. We met online (ok that part was not traditional), we chatted for a few months, I went to visit him in Amman and we got married a week later. Traditional for his culture but not for mine, so it wasn't seen as acceptable.

If you have any questions, email me. I am by no means an expert, but I have been dealing with all of this for over a year and a half.

Good Luck,
Mingus

 

[Al.Abed]

lol ya mingus, I just call it "wife shopping"

I think he mentioned his app is already sent, so hopefully he explained enough.

I think its BS that someone can "know" that a marriage is fake. they work on terms of "guilty untill proven innocent" which i think should be the opposite. THEY should be the ones finding "proof" that the marriage is fraud (and it better be damn good proof) not us having to prove our marriage is real. I understand that some people abuse the system so they need to do their part blah blah blah but who are you to refuse someone to be with his/her wife/husband? what if someone doesnt wanna follow the 'norm' and have a bizare marriage process/procedure?

 

[Ranes]

Thanks everyone! no comment to invisibleminority

yes my application is already sent, and I explained my situation as best as I can so lets hope its enough. I hope they dont see it as me doing my cousin a favor... that would be horrible. Now i wait and see what happens.

 

[mingus]

Wife Shopping is what my brother-in-laws call it too. I think it is funny LOL. Some people wouldn't think it's funny but when you think of it, isn't that what everyone does? Are we not all "shopping" for a mate? Isn't dating just shopping with a great return policy?
Sorry feeling a little goofy today, going a little crazy from working on our appeals case.

 

[MARLENA]

Ranes my friend married her first cousin as well and sponsored him about 2 years ago. As long you have all the proof especially from her and your family giving their blessing on the relationship and submitting lots of communication between you and your wife you shouldn't have any problem.
She sponsored him through Damascus and he was approved in no time.

Good luck!!!!

 

[AMB]

I also have a question on this topic, and maybe Ranes can help me out with what he put on his application.

On IMM5490 (Sponsored Spouse Questionnaire), questions 7 & 8, the first being, "prior to your spousal relationship, was your sponsor... related to you or any of your family members?", and the second asking for family members in Canada... what was written here?

Do you just fill it all out... for example, and the second one, would you list the wife as family member (cousin..) ?

I am working on this for someone, and was also confused about what "position" to take when filling all the forms etc.

Thanks,

 

[Ranes]

THANK YOU MARLENA, that makes me feel so much better!
I thought they would have a negative attitude since cousin marriages are 'weird and gross' to most canadians.

and for AMB, I filled the form out for my wife and put down MY family here.. so i said that my sisters would be her cousins and my father her uncle etc... I think they can put 2 and 2 together knowing you're cousins.

 

[Boncuk]

Yes it is a common practice and also for invisibleminority I know several ppl that have married cousins etc but I do know also that they go through some sort of genetic testing to be sure there is no risk to their future children. As some may disagree and as backwards as it may seem to some, it is a reality for many cultures. It does have its benefits in some ways, you have to have an open mind.

 

[s.d]

I have a question and I would like advice on my situation.

My dad's sister asked my dad if she could have her eldest son ahmad marry me. He lives in holland and she lives back home. He does not have a citizenship there and is staying there on work papers. My dad has asked my to marry my cousin before and I never accepted the idea and absolutely refused. The last time my dad asked me which was before he went to visit his sister in back home, something overcame me and I said yes! I couldnt believe that i actually said yes but it was like a feeling in my heart that said its right. and I prayed salat istikhara and and i had a really good feeling about it and i was hoping the feeling was mutual for both. His mom also wanted my younger sister (im 18, shes 17) for her son who is 22. The plan was for my sister to marry him when she got older but my sister does not want to marry him but they dont know this. For me they dont know that I accepted, but what they did was talk to my cousin ahmad who is 28. They told him about him marrying me and at first he just smiled and then he was like i want to marry her after they talked to him about responsibility and all of that stuff. Throughout the time that my dad was in back home he kept calling to see if we needed anything and stuff like that. then a few weeks after my dad came back from back home, my cousin ahmad called and asked my dad for my hand in marriage and later on they planned for me and him to see eachother online. we have never physically met before but we have pictures of eachother from before this marriage thing. so we saw eachother online and we talked mostly about what we do during our days what we study etc. Like 3 days after, they came online again. This is the part that troubles me the most and I really need your advice on this please.

- My cousin who is ahmad's sister nermeen came online and talked to my mom and dad for a long time about random everyday things and did not once mention the marriage issue, or say anything about whether or not her brother wanted to marry me or not. (even though he asked for my hand, we had to see eachother first, then find out if he wants to marry me or not after which I give my answer). Anyways so out of the blue nermeen says that she wants to speak to me and my sister. we rarely talk to her so it was so random and weird. So me and my sis come and sit in front of the camera bc we talk via msn. So her micro wasnt working so we had to talk through the phone. she asked for my sister first. here is where the problem started but my mom and sister disagree and i want someone elses opinion. she was supposed to talk to me first because im older, but i decided to over look that. I became angry when Ahmad asked to talk to my sis. he talked to her about school and things like that, nothing to be suspicious about, and then my sis asked if she could talk to nermeen bc she was uncomfortable. He didnt ask to speak to me even though im the one he is supposed to marry and I was shocked that he spoke to my sister, the thing is weve never spoken to him before this and then for him to speak to my sister rather than me shocked me. then nermeen spoke to me about irrelevant things and she then spoke to my dad. my mom and sister said that he had already spoken to me the day we saw eachother online and he probably just wamted to talk to my sister to get to know her, and that he probably did not ask to speak to me because he thought my dad would get mad about it or maybe was shy to talk to me or something like thst. thats what my mom and sister said and i wasnt convinced. and until now ahmad nor nermeen nor anyone from his family have said anything about whether ahmad wants to marry me or not. so idk can someone give me advice about this situation and whether i should be mad or not? like is it possible that he might have wanted to see my sis and talk to her because he might like her instead or something. any sort of advice/help would be greatly appreciated. thanks alot

 

[BostonGirl]

They might see this as a problem because it looks a bit like you are just trying to sponsor your cousin into Canada.
I say this because you just went there, met her, and married.
If this is really a marriage you need to prove it.
Sorry, we all have to.

They probably know it is your custom to marry close relatives, that is not really the problem.