Hello Frankfield,
Yes, there will be doubts about the validity of the relationship in the eyes of immigration. That is expected with the outcome of history in fraud marriages. But I will share this...and it concerns our process in general. There were mistakes in the processing of our filing. In summary, they have our wedding certificate, they had our wedding date wrong in their files but I did send that in with our original application. Maddants had to take back original to interview to give them, but I don't know why because they already had that. Just before the interview Kingston wrote me and told me these things will be addressed at the interview. Our file was also mixed up in the beginning with someone else's. They said the other persons file was attached to ours by mistake. I found out because the letter had someone' else's address and file number on it. Kingston officials later apologized for their mistake to us and the other person involved. I have been in correspondence with the other person because her contact information was in our info. They told her they would straighten it out. She is also still waiting to hear the outcome of her application as she filed around the same time we sent in ours. The most recent contact from her, she is still waiting and has not heard from Kingston. This was just one problem. Also in the beginning, when I was told I was to receive a letter to show my application was received in the beginning. I got no letter, after lots of phone calls, I finally got an answer from them 3 months later. It was sent to someone else by mistake, and they claimed it was sent to me. Then when I still didn't receive it, they told me it got lost. Through all this, I was speaking to officer by phone because of all the mix up. It is just to long of a story with the mix up but I kept documentation of it all. When we got the notes almost 3 months after I requested them during summer, that is when we found out about our wedding date was written wrong in their notes, even though the correct wedding date was on the application and wedding certificate. So I wrote Kingston to point out the mistake. They said they will sort it out in the interview.
Maddants answered as best as he could and he is truthful in his answers; one of the qualities why I love him so much. It was thrown for a loop when all else went right, until he was asked about my culture. If I could explain myself to them, I would. I was upset when I found out about some of the questions asked. But I know their reasoning. She is forgiven. But I am not a fluent speaker of my language, nor do I live in my cultural ways, but if my family chooses to live a different way, that is fine with me. I have a good understanding of the past cultural issues. I also go to church. I grew up in an environment with 41 different nationalities and have experienced a wide variety of foods and was in acceptance of their lifestyles. I show respect for who they are and what they choose in life. I am no judge of anyone. There is only one person who can judge us and that is our holy father. This immigration process will never know the people who we truly are unless they have know us for a lifetime. They will not know me like Maddants does and how I know him. The 45 minutes to an hour of conversation is never enough time. I don't see things in a rosy picture, I see the reality of things. Life will not always be perfect, but if you don't take that risk, then you may have lost something or someone good and regret it in the end. But if things turn out differently, then I learn from mistakes. But if you don't take that chance then how will you know the outcome? I have to have trust.
. I can't speak for Maddants, he has to speak for himself. But I do know his honesty and sincerity and he shows this. He shows it when he talks to me how he treats his family or anyone else in our lives. I see the love he show them. A bit about myself...my mother survived residential school, while some of her friends did not make it home back to their families. Some of these families never saw their children again. The worst thing about it is that some were found buried, in un-marked graves and their families never knew what happened to them, they were never told their children were dead. I will only tell my mothers story to close friends and Maddants won't tell as there is some things that is only shared between just me and him. He shows respect to me as he can keep my word. I adore and respect him for this.
Our love grows every day, I also know his secrets. I will not share them because he has trust in me. Some things are just meant to be kept to yourself and your loved one. As you say, love continues to grow and over time you will learn more. That is so true. But I know enough to know that he is the one for me or I wouldn't have put myself in this situation. This process is long and it is hard. But God give us the strength to go through it. It is a choice we have made to be together, just like you and a lot of others with their spouses. Our hope stays strong even if things don't seem like they are going right, nothing is perfect in life. If I could have been with him on his birthday, I surely would have done so. Our anniversary, I will miss that to, but there other times we can be together. W will talk and are close in heart. We spend hours each day communicating but the best thing is when I visit. I want to go and be with Maddants one more time before year ends, depending on future of decisions. In the New Year, I will plan more visits, if I have to. If things go well, then I will be seeing my husband in the near future with me here. For me, everything depends on the timing and bookings involved with work. But not giving up hope! Depends on when I can make the time to use my vacation and it depends if we hear something from this immigration process. Myself, I don't want to dwell on the mistakes made in this process in what happened to us in the beginning. We have made it this far. Everything is not perfect and things in the future may not be perfect. Life is like that. You have to lay the past to rest to make it into the future. Hope is for the best and to our future.
Sorry if I have taken up a whole page, but I had to write my feelings.
Mrs. Maddants
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