Kingston,Jamaica

[lovindahubby]

This is what I say, have dreams, have hopes, have faith, keep praying and know that everything will work out. I keep praying everynight that kingston hurry up and work on files. God must be tired of me now, but hey, am I wrong to pray for that. Is not what you ask for but its what god see's within your heart.. I cry at night because I can't see my husband and cry even more when I hear my little 1 year old asking for daddy...and have to tell her he's not here.. Smh... Life I tell you..

 

[oneandonly]

This is what I say, have dreams, have hopes, have faith, keep praying and know that everything will work out. I keep praying everynight that kingston hurry up and work on files. God must be tired of me now, but hey, am I wrong to pray for that. Is not what you ask for but its what god see's within your heart.. I cry at night because I can't see my husband and cry even more when I hear my little 1 year old asking for daddy...and have to tell her he's not here.. Smh... Life I tell you..

Been through all of what you have mentioned except the part when your 1 year old is asking for daddy. Keep it up this will soon be a distant memory your dreams will be answered shortly.

 

[lovindahubby]

Been through all of what you have mentioned except the part when your 1 year old is asking for daddy. Keep it up this will soon be a distant memory your dreams will be answered shortly.

I keep saying that, I say it to him too. He cries because he can't see us. I sent her down last year to spend 3 weeks with him... I look at myself being evil because I sent my 1 year old to spend time with her dad.. Lol everynight I'm up asking, do you know what to do, do you know how to bathe her, do you know how to feed her... Dwl this guy said " DONT WORRY, MOMMY-DADDY HAS THIS!" Oh my.. Surprisingly he took good care of her.. More than I have expected.. Now she's back. Everyday all I hear is dady dadda daddy... And now he's crying because they have bond so much over 3 weeks... This is what breaks my heart knowing he can't see her often as like to... But its just life

 

[oneandonly]

I keep saying that, I say it to him too. He cries because he can't see us. I sent her down last year to spend 3 weeks with him... I look at myself being evil because I sent my 1 year old to spend time with her dad.. Lol everynight I'm up asking, do you know what to do, do you know how to bathe her, do you know how to feed her... Dwl this guy said " DONT WORRY, MOMMY-DADDY HAS THIS!" Oh my.. Surprisingly he took good care of her.. More than I have expected.. Now she's back. Everyday all I hear is dady dadda daddy... And now he's crying because they have bond so much over 3 weeks... This is what breaks my heart knowing he can't see her often as like to... But its just life

That's awesome they got to bond for a bit but must be extremely hard now that daddy isn't around. Hopefully a trip down there soon could help.

 

[Jamnic]

Happy new year everyone!! I havent been on the forum since my husband landed on Dec 27th. I picked him up at 3:30am. Its been a year since we saw each other. He was tired from the travelling. The next day was my birthday n i was so happy spending it with him until he broke down n cry because he misses his son. I could understand but that just made my day feel crappy n i felt guilty n selfish for wanting to be with him. Everything is so much different from JamAica that is hard to explain n to assure that everything is going to be ok. I on the kother hand am trying really hard to pretend n to keep my feelings inside. I just dont k ow what to do or say anymore. We already had like 3 fights in such little time. I just hope that whatever is in next for us is something good n positive. Because so far i experience the opposite of what i thought it was going to feel like. My husband doesnt like the fact that if its freezing outside i dont go out unless i have absolutely have to example 'WORK'. I am not the type to just go out just because. When spring n summer arrives is a whole different story. He also has been looking at jobs in Alberta n keeps asking me if i would move there. N yes i would except i cant just pick up n go. We need to prepare for it. He is becoming very inpatient with job searching since he already got his SIN number.
Right now i feel frustrated. I feel some what alone. I have him here but is like he wants to b back home.
Thats all for now before i get tears running down.

 

[mrsbrown]

That is what I think people fail to understand. The impact this process has on children. Even for my three for whom my hubby is a step dad. They cry and get angry it's so hard for me to see them upset when u can't do anything to make it better. And my heart goes out to Everyone else with children or are pregnant because it really does add to the difficulty. It's hard enough for grown ups but can't be explained to little ones.

I admire all those who maintain hope that their applications will be processed quickly. I think sometimes hope is all we have to get us through this process. My thoughts on this is that you must hold onto your hope but maintain a realistic sense of what to expect. The average processing time is said to be 22 months and we know that many many people wait a year or longer before they see any movement on the files these days. In my experience on this forum members tend to be very excited and begin the process with unrealistic hopes of getting thru quickly (myself included) and then suffer after 6 months or longer when they see the depressing reality of the wait in front of them. I realize I sound like a Debbie downer here. But I'd want to spare that let down feeling for others if I can. My advice ( and you can take it with a grain of salt) is to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Don't set unrealistic expectations because the let down is painful.

And for those of you with wee ones. I wish for you that extra bit of strength it takes to be strong for yourself and them.

 

[Nevaeha]

Happy new year everyone!! I havent been on the forum since my husband landed on Dec 27th. I picked him up at 3:30am. Its been a year since we saw each other. He was tired from the travelling. The next day was my birthday n i was so happy spending it with him until he broke down n cry because he misses his son. I could understand but that just made my day feel crappy n i felt guilty n selfish for wanting to be with him. Everything is so much different from JamAica that is hard to explain n to assure that everything is going to be ok. I on the kother hand am trying really hard to pretend n to keep my feelings inside. I just dont k ow what to do or say anymore. We already had like 3 fights in such little time. I just hope that whatever is in next for us is something good n positive. Because so far i experience the opposite of what i thought it was going to feel like. My husband doesnt like the fact that if its freezing outside i dont go out unless i have absolutely have to example 'WORK'. I am not the type to just go out just because. When spring n summer arrives is a whole different story. He also has been looking at jobs in Alberta n keeps asking me if i would move there. N yes i would except i cant just pick up n go. We need to prepare for it. He is becoming very inpatient with job searching since he already got his SIN number.
Right now i feel frustrated. I feel some what alone. I have him here but is like he wants to b back home.
Thats all for now before i get tears running down.

Happy New Year, Jaminic!

Thank you for popping in and giving us an update.

I'm sorry to hear that your hubby is having a hard time adjusting to life in Canada and I hope as time goes on it will get easier. If you have time, I would suggest using the forum search engine and typing in: Habibti. She is a forum member who has been through it all, including: sponsoring her husband, going through the appeal process, winning the appeal process, and having her husband eventually land in Canada. She has written some amazing posts about culture shock and the reality of being reunited in Canada. I have drawn so much strength from her and I hope you will too.

Please remain strong and know you have a forum family who will always be here for you whenever you need us. :-*

 

[frankfield]

N yes i would except i cant just pick up n go. We need to prepare for it. He is becoming very inpatient with job searching since he already got his SIN number.
Right now i feel frustrated. I feel some what alone. I have him here but is like he wants to b back home.
Thats all for now before i get tears running down.

I am moved by your post.. I am encouraging you to hold tight. The road forward really depends on your strength and commitment to this marriage. It is so difficult for human beings to live alongside each other in peace no matter how much you love each other. It is hard but I want you to know that any feelings or question you have that are scary right now can be resolved.. The first few months are the hardest, and like I have said in the past will cause you to miss your space. Sit down and talk, talk, talk, scream but never go to bed angry. it is a big change for all involved and will take nuff work but remember the days when you longed to be in each others arms, it is here, keep this in focus.. all the lonely night, the longing, let them be the reason why you keep an open mind, open heart and let love take you where life leads. Much love, and prayers sent your way. This is the path of many and I can say you can grow deeper in love even after the storm. Peace to you both!

 

[Nevaeha]

That is what I think people fail to understand. The impact this process has on children. Even for my three for whom my hubby is a step dad. They cry and get angry it's so hard for me to see them upset when u can't do anything to make it better. And my heart goes out to Everyone else with children or are pregnant because it really does add to the difficulty. It's hard enough for grown ups but can't be explained to little ones.

I admire all those who maintain hope that their applications will be processed quickly. I think sometimes hope is all we have to get us through this process. My thoughts on this is that you must hold onto your hope but maintain a realistic sense of what to expect. The average processing time is said to be 22 months and we know that many many people wait a year or longer before they see any movement on the files these days. In my experience on this forum members tend to be very excited and begin the process with unrealistic hopes of getting thru quickly (myself included) and then suffer after 6 months or longer when they see the depressing reality of the wait in front of them. I realize I sound like a Debbie downer here. But I'd want to spare that let down feeling for others if I can. My advice ( and you can take it with a grain of salt) is to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Don't set unrealistic expectations because the let down is painful.

And for those of you with wee ones. I wish for you that extra bit of strength it takes to be strong for yourself and them.

Good evening, mrsbrown -- it's good to see you more active on the forum!

I don't think you are being a Debbie downer at all...it's important to state the facts and the reality of this process. When I applied the Stage 2 processing timeline was 16 months and I fully expected it to take that long. Then I found this forum and I saw several people getting through quickly and my hopes sky rocketed. At times I felt like finding the forum was both a blessing and a curse!!! Sometimes it was much easier when I didn't know anything about the immigration process and my head was in the sand!!!!! I remember getting really antsy around the one year mark and then everyday after that felt sooooooo long. Then came the 'good old strike'...lawd!!!!! The hardest part was waiting in the dark - no communication from Kingston, no ecas updates, and nothing in my GCMS notes!!!! How could one not become paranoid under these circumstances?!?!?!?!?

Every single person on this forum is going to make it through this process one way or another -- some quicker than others but they will get through it and the victory will be sweet.

 

[CanJam]

Happy new year everyone!! I havent been on the forum since my husband landed on Dec 27th. I picked him up at 3:30am. Its been a year since we saw each other. He was tired from the travelling. The next day was my birthday n i was so happy spending it with him until he broke down n cry because he misses his son. I could understand but that just made my day feel crappy n i felt guilty n selfish for wanting to be with him. Everything is so much different from JamAica that is hard to explain n to assure that everything is going to be ok....

I appreciate you sharing your experience , and that you recognize that you can come here for support!... Yes our Hubby's/ wife arrival can be bitter/ sweet ... Especially when children are involved.... Try not to take it personal, anyone who moves away from their child ( whom they have a bond ) would feel sad... This transition is also a process... As Frankfield said, communication is important, talk about how you feel ( without blaming), and most
importantly, acknowledge his feelings... This can serve as a learning lesson for us all... The 'prep' b4 and 'after'

 

[Mrs. Davis]

Jamnic, I am so proud of you right now. Your post was honest. It would have been so much easier to not say a word. We are often so excited to end this process that we see the future in rose-coloured glasses. I often tell my husband I am worried about asking him to pick up and leave everything he knows . God bless you for sharing. Mrs Brown , thank you for adding as well. I found this forum around the time of the strike. It was there I dropped my naive thought this would be done in 4-6 months. I do not expect my file to be looked at until the 1 yr mark. Who am I to believe mine should be done before those ahead of me. I pray and I put it into God's hands to bring my husband to me when the time is right. When I get upset (and I do). My husband tells me I am trying to push water up a hill. So, bless you both for your honesty !

 

[lovindahubby]

Happy new year everyone!! I havent been on the forum since my husband landed on Dec 27th. I picked him up at 3:30am. Its been a year since we saw each other. He was tired from the travelling. The next day was my birthday n i was so happy spending it with him until he broke down n cry because he misses his son. I could understand but that just made my day feel crappy n i felt guilty n selfish for wanting to be with him. Everything is so much different from JamAica that is hard to explain n to assure that everything is going to be ok. I on the kother hand am trying really hard to pretend n to keep my feelings inside. I just dont k ow what to do or say anymore. We already had like 3 fights in such little time. I just hope that whatever is in next for us is something good n positive. Because so far i experience the opposite of what i thought it was going to feel like. My husband doesnt like the fact that if its freezing outside i dont go out unless i have absolutely have to example 'WORK'. I am not the type to just go out just because. When spring n summer arrives is a whole different story. He also has been looking at jobs in Alberta n keeps asking me if i would move there. N yes i would except i cant just pick up n go. We need to prepare for it. He is becoming very inpatient with job searching since he already got his SIN number.
Right now i feel frustrated. I feel some what alone. I have him here but is like he wants to b back home.
Thats all for now before i get tears running down.

I feel it for u.. At times I wonder if they will change when they get here.. They say "foreign" change people and sometime I think its true.. Keep strong and be brave. Don't back down because u think he wants to go back home, talk to him and make it be known that your there for him and what ever it takes u will always be there. Fights and arguments going to happen, but hey what's a relationship withou that! Just be patient and hold your head up.. You will be ok

 

[chickie72]

Good morning! Happy Thursday!

@Jamnic, thank you for coming and sharing with us with your thoughts and true life lessons....it is good for us to see that it isn't always a bed of roses like many seem to wish it to be when their spouses come up. Your words give us a look at the "other side" of the coin. I agree with what the others have said and 100% communication is the key in a relationship. Talk to each other and share your thoughts with each other. Blessings to you and hubby and stay strong and true!

 

[Twoheartsonelove]

Good Morning and Happy Thursday All!! One more day until the weekend....geez...this has been the longest week ever it seems!!

Jamnic - thank you for sharing your landing story and life-post-landing as well it was very emotional and heartfelf. I feel for you and your husband with all the difficult times that you are both enduring. This process is not easy (we can all attest to that) and I would imagine that once our loved ones get here there will still be difficult times to endure and get through. Give him time to adjust bc there is a lot for him to adjust to - weather, food, people, culture, mannerisms, etc. - not to mention that you are both now living together 24/7 as husband and wife so you both need to adjust to each other (believe all new marriages go through this though but it is just more pronounced with everything else). Please have patience and just show him love and affection and keep reminding him that you guys can make it through this together. Remind him that he will be seeing his child again (and hopefully not after too long). What about arranging somehow to Skype or FaceTime with the child? Good luck and please keep us posted!

Have a great day everyone!!

 

[CanadianWifey89]

Good morning JamFam!

How's it going?!