Hi SweetieQ, thanks for sharing with the forum, i just wish to say, i believe we all go through or will go through the tough times and lots of people who have been there will tell you that is what makes the marriage or yourself better in the end.
Hold on, and please take care of yourself, as you have to be healthy to stand up to the struggles that marriage can sometimes bring. Hold on girl hold on tight if you believe it's right.
When i was getting married i went into Winners and i purchased a necklace, it had one circle and in the middle of the circle was a single mother of pearl and outside of the necklace was a couple of mother of pearls hanging on the outside of the circle. The lady (an older lady) unknowing i was getting married chose to explain what the necklace meant. She said the circle means marriage the mother of pearl on the inside of the circle is the husband and wife and the pearls hanging outside the circle are the kids, friend, family, associates etc. some of the pearls were bigger than some and she said the bigger ones were the more important ones like kids, and family but to note they were outside of the circle. I started laughing when she was finished the story, she probably thought i was silly, then she said why are you laughing and then i told her i was getting married and i was purchasing the necklace to wear, she was happy she told the story and kept saying what was the odds, i felt that was no coincidence, i believe i needed to learn that, hubby and i operate like that, as i shared the story with him and he agreed. My maid of honour wanted me to wear her expensive pearls on my wedding day, i could not, i had to wear that necklace. I shared that story to remind us all in here, that the marriage is between husband and wife and husband and wife need to work together in the circle of marriage so they can be strong to deal with issues that will/may occur. People, including some family will try to pull you apart and you have to hold on and trust each other but most importantly trust yourself as sometimes even if we go back on a decision, sometimes we need to make a decision and then go back on it to learn something we needed to learn. All the best to you on your journey and i wish you strength and happiness.