is age difference a problem?

[Lady_Ashka]

I have a question about how CIC looks at age difference.
I am a common-law spouse of a Canadian citizen, I currently have a work permit, for renewal of which I will apply this May. We are both academics. We met in Poland, as he was working there and so was I (at the time we didn't know he'd be moving back here, nor that we'd be applying for PR for me, nor what that involved, so we didn't retain much evidence that we had a relationship; it was also only budding there). We met in 2011, and slowly developed a relationship, I was a PhD student and he was a stipendary/foreign language teacher, although he had his PhD for a while and did some post-docs in Ireland before coming to Poland. In early 2013 he got a job in Ontario, so he moved back home, but I couldn't move with him right away (had to finish my PhD studies; he's 15 years older than me), so I stayed for one year in Poland. I moved in with him (and to Canada) in September 2014, as a temporary worker, according to the CIC definition we became common law in Sep 2015, but we didn't apply right away because in April 2015 I took a trip to Poland (I am a Polish citizen) for 3 weeks (for my PhD exams) and we were worried that disrupted the 12 months uninterrupted cohabitation requirement, so we decided to wait until a full 12 months passed since (end of) April 2015.

Now, I wonder, do you think the age difference (15 years) will somehow be a problem? I have a different topic with more questions about the forms, etc, but as for evidence of relationship, we have:
- a joint lease for our apartment, dated Sept 1st 2014, though I moved in on the 4th, the landlord had a standard lease form
- joint hydro bills for electricity (but not for the full 12 months, I think, hydro comes only every 2 months, and it took them some time to add me as the other tenant)
- a joint bank account and credit cards linked to that account. I am the primary account holder, so the credit cards are in my name, but they said at the bank they can give us a letter stating the credit card is linked to an account we both own. Also, the credit card account has two cards issued, his and mine
- from that account we pay the internet bill, together, as we do the hydro bills, and our gym membership
- we have a joint, family, membership at the gym
- tons of mail addressed to either of us and both of us for the same address, I also have other documents stating my address as the same as his
- driving licenses and ohip cards for both of us with the same address
- we gave each other as common law spouses in the bank account documents for our account, and he did for his savings account
- we just submitted our taxes together, giving each other as common law spouses, we will also print the C form from CRA and attach it to the application
- we bought lots and lots of furniture for our apartment together, though most of it before we got our joint bank account so some of the purchases were made with his card, and some with mine (my Polish bank cards), we also had lots of that purchases shipped to us so there is the address for both of us, or either of us, on the shipping forms
- we have lots (lots!) of pictures of us together, with our families, friends, from various occasions, and travel together
-we have proof of travel together (2 trips for holiday, and one for conferencing together) - boarding cards, petrol receipts, pictures
- we have lots of skype logs from when we didn't live together and from the last two years when we did for the times we were taking trips separately; we also have tons of texts from the last 2 years, including for times we were on our trips
- we will sign the Common Law declaration and submit it along with the application
- I am thinking of getting insurance naming him as benefactor
- our families met once (my mom came to visit me and we organized a family get together), I am good friends with his family and he is with mine; I can submit lots of email exchanges between me and his family, and we have evidence that when I skype with my family he always joins us
- we have lots of mutual friends who we will ask to write letters for us, so that hopefully we can get around 11 letters for the 2 ones CIC expects.
Is this enough, do you think?

 

[mikeymyke]

I think your case looks pretty good. Age difference can be a problem sometimes, but the most important thing is how your overall relationship profile looks. You both are well educated, have met each other's families before, lots of pics and communication proof, you first met in 2011 and are in a relationship for a few years now. I think you have nothing to worry about at all.

 

[Owl29]

I think you have really enough evidences and your age difference shouldn't be an issue. It is not rushed relationship, so you will be fine.
Warsaw visa office is quite quick, so good luck with your journey

 

[Lady_Ashka]

Thanks! I have to say, in the academic world age difference is frequent, and of course, it does not matter to us! But please tell me, in a worst case scenario, what can happen? I mean, why would CIC consider the age difference a problem and how would they act on that? Would they refuse the application, get us for an interview, or demand more evidence? I mean, why should it matter how old we are? (30 and 45)? I forgot to add, we also have lots of cards and a few gifts we got from our mutual friends and family, so I hope that will also help CIC see that we are genuine, in love, and want to be together for ever


Also, a quick question: we are common law, and had my mum over once, she was visiting me and we got her, us, and his family together for a family meet up, we have photos, etc, but it wasn't any kind of formal ceremony, just a merry family meeting. I wonder, as I know there's a question about whether there was a formal reception celebrating our relationship; we are officially not engaged and we did not have a formal reception, because, quite frankly, we just didn't really think about it, and didn't really want to! we had family over when my mom was visiting for a nice family dinner, but it wasn't formal, though it was of course celebrating our relationship, we also go to all family gatherings together and we are often celebrated by our families but nothing formal, no reception, etc. Is this a problem? do we need to fix a date for some kind of a formal ceremony because if we don't CIC will assume we're not serious? If we do, do we need to provide some kind of evidence for booking, or just give the date? or can we say we don't have a date yet, but that we are planning something big once I get PR

 

[gabba50]

Your relationship looks genuine and none of you is desperately trying to immigrate to Canada,so the age difference is not be a problem, but if you are planning of getting married or being engaged, why can't you wait before you submit your application. But as both of you can have other opportunities to come to Canada, your application can't be denied, you are living here.
Good luck

 

[scylla]

Your evidence looks fine. My husband is 16 years older than me and his application was processed and approved in just over four months.

 

[Owl29]

Thanks! I have to say, in the academic world age difference is frequent, and of course, it does not matter to us! But please tell me, in a worst case scenario, what can happen? I mean, why would CIC consider the age difference a problem and how would they act on that? Would they refuse the application, get us for an interview, or demand more evidence? I mean, why should it matter how old we are? (30 and 45)? I forgot to add, we also have lots of cards and a few gifts we got from our mutual friends and family, so I hope that will also help CIC see that we are genuine, in love, and want to be together for ever


Also, a quick question: we are common law, and had my mum over once, she was visiting me and we got her, us, and his family together for a family meet up, we have photos, etc, but it wasn't any kind of formal ceremony, just a merry family meeting. I wonder, as I know there's a question about whether there was a formal reception celebrating our relationship; we are officially not engaged and we did not have a formal reception, because, quite frankly, we just didn't really think about it, and didn't really want to! we had family over when my mom was visiting for a nice family dinner, but it wasn't formal, though it was of course celebrating our relationship, we also go to all family gatherings together and we are often celebrated by our families but nothing formal, no reception, etc. Is this a problem? do we need to fix a date for some kind of a formal ceremony because if we don't CIC will assume we're not serious? If we do, do we need to provide some kind of evidence for booking, or just give the date? or can we say we don't have a date yet, but that we are planning something big once I get PR

Worst what will happen they will ask you to attend the interview. They for sure won't refuse the application and from the amount of evidence you plan to provide I doubt that they will even call for interview. I can't speak for other VO, but when they invited me to interview in Warsaw it went quite easy and smooth. They asked few check up questions and if you answer them honestly there won't be any issues. Also, I might be wrong, but the impression I got it that they really liked that I spoke fluently in English with them and didn't request the interpreter.
It is pretty normal in your culture not to have formal ceremony when you enter common law, I am not sure, but do you even have "common law" laws in Poland? If you don't, then it is really not something you will celebrate. I think most people wait to become common law just to avoid all this marriage formality and ceremonies, so I think it is really ok not to have official celebration of this
Anyway, we got married, but we didn't have any big celebration or ceremony as well. It is not in our believes and that's how we explained it

 

[Lady_Ashka]

Worst what will happen they will ask you to attend the interview. They for sure won't refuse the application and from the amount of evidence you plan to provide I doubt that they will even call for interview. I can't speak for other VO, but when they invited me to interview in Warsaw it went quite easy and smooth. They asked few check up questions and if you answer them honestly there won't be any issues. Also, I might be wrong, but the impression I got it that they really liked that I spoke fluently in English with them and didn't request the interpreter.
It is pretty normal in your culture not to have formal ceremony when you enter common law, I am not sure, but do you even have "common law" laws in Poland? If you don't, then it is really not something you will celebrate. I think most people wait to become common law just to avoid all this marriage formality and ceremonies, so I think it is really ok not to have official celebration of this
Anyway, we got married, but we didn't have any big celebration or ceremony as well. It is not in our believes and that's how we explained it

thanks, Owl29! It's really good to hear this! As for the ceremony, indeed, in Poland there is really no special recognition of common law marriages (for instance, I wouldn't be able to change my name to have his surname, unless I applied and profusely explained why it's essential, and even then I'd be at the mercy of the official, whereas people who are married get that automatically). On the other hand, if I do get PR, we *are* going to have a huge party, and hopefully by then my brother can come too (he and his wife have a toddler and a second baby on the way, so they couldn't really travel much, hence it was only my mum who came to visit (and i don't keep in touch with my father, they divorced when i was 16)).

and, in general, huge thanks guys! Just to make it clear, he's 45 and I'm 30, he's the sponsor (Canadian), I am Polish.

Also, may I ask, do you think it's a good idea for me now to get insurance naming him as benefactor? I mean, it's a good idea as such, of course, but I just wouldn't want to make CIC suspicious that I got the insurance only a few months before we applied?


Thanks so much for your help, hope you are all correct!

 

[Owl29]

thanks, Owl29! It's really good to hear this! As for the ceremony, indeed, in Poland there is really no special recognition of common law marriages (for instance, I wouldn't be able to change my name to have his surname, unless I applied and profusely explained why it's essential, and even then I'd be at the mercy of the official, whereas people who are married get that automatically). On the other hand, if I do get PR, we *are* going to have a huge party, and hopefully by then my brother can come too (he and his wife have a toddler and a second baby on the way, so they couldn't really travel much, hence it was only my mum who came to visit (and i don't keep in touch with my father, they divorced when i was 16)).

and, in general, huge thanks guys! Just to make it clear, he's 45 and I'm 30, he's the sponsor (Canadian), I am Polish.

Also, may I ask, do you think it's a good idea for me now to get insurance naming him as benefactor? I mean, it's a good idea as such, of course, but I just wouldn't want to make CIC suspicious that I got the insurance only a few months before we applied?


Thanks so much for your help, hope you are all correct!

I don't think your age difference is even that big, especially when you are not 18 anymore The age becomes an issue when other evidence is lacking, but you guys have so much real evidence that it would be surprising for them to request interview based only on age.
That what I thought about Poland, I don't think Eastern Europe countries recognize common law that much, so of course it would make sense not to celebrate. It is not in our traditions and anyway, if I would want an official celebrations I would just get married
Get the insurance, but do it for yourself if you think it is a good idea in general and plus one extra evidence and no, it won't make them suspicious

 

[Lady_Ashka]

I will, after all, it's good to have insurance anyway!

thanks so much all of you for appeasing my anxiety

And one more question: do you have an idea what else we could include as evidence for the genuine nature of our relationship? how else do people prove that? I, for example, also have screenshots of my facebook conversations with his sister in law (she's my hairdresser too!), and lots of emails with his sister about renting a cottage, with his brother about getting a leafs jersey for my nephew, and then lots of emails about organizing family get togethers and with friends about going out together where I respond for both of us although he's on the mailing list too, but he responds to emails late. Anything else you can think of that would help our application? Anything else? Thanks

 

[Owl29]

I will, after all, it's good to have insurance anyway!

thanks so much all of you for appeasing my anxiety

And one more question: do you have an idea what else we could include as evidence for the genuine nature of our relationship? how else do people prove that? I, for example, also have screenshots of my facebook conversations with his sister in law (she's my hairdresser too!), and lots of emails with his sister about renting a cottage, with his brother about getting a leafs jersey for my nephew, and then lots of emails about organizing family get togethers and with friends about going out together where I respond for both of us although he's on the mailing list too, but he responds to emails late. Anything else you can think of that would help our application? Anything else? Thanks

I think you are going too far a bit with the evidence, what you had in your original list is way enough. Of course, if it will make you sleep better during nigh include as much as possible, but I think the most general evidences include: bills, lease, bank statements, chat/call logs, pictures from different occasions, holidays together, family support letters and other proof that you resist in the same address.
I was afraid to be called to the interview as well, but in my case it turned to be ideal for me. I got papers right away, so I learned that this interview is not as scary as it seems at first. But we had other red flags, so I guess interview was expected in my case. Of course, no one guarantees if you need an interview or not, but for sure they won't refuse you without it.

 

[Lady_Ashka]

I know I might be overdoing it a bit, but I think I'd rather include too much than too little! Anyways, it's good to hear that there shouldn't be much problems about the age difference! Congrats to you, Owl, for your PR!

I also have one last (I promise!) question. I outlined our timeline of our relationship above, let me fill in the missing info and ask one thing. So at the end of April 2015 he came to Poland, where I already was taking my exams, and we had a 2 week holiday, coming back the 11th of May. Then around a week later he went to Ireland for research for a week, and when he came back I went back to Poland for 5 days to defend my PhD, then came back. And I think that he took another week-long trip sometime mid-August, for a conference. Do you think we should apply for PR only in August, so that there wouldn't be ANY breaks longer than 3 days in our cohabitation? or is it ok to apply in July, disregarding his week trip in August? We travel for research a lot, but for max a week, it was only that April that I went for 3 weeks and we definitely are waiting until a year from at least the end of May 2015 passes.


thanks everyone for your help, and wish us luck soon

 

[canadianwoman]

A week apart is not enough to break the relationship. Three weeks might be.

And I agree: you shouldn't have any problem because of the age difference. In Europe and in English-speaking countries, it is not a big deal anyway. In addition, when it is a problem, it is generally because the woman is older.

 

[Lady_Ashka]

Wonderful, thank you!

So I will take my holiday with my family (10 days) before we file in out appl (also because I need to get my police clearance from Poland), and we will apply when I'm back.