You are allowed to be short by 9 words, w/o any penalty.
How was the test? LRW? WT1 and WT2?
IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
How was the test? LRW? WT1 and WT2?
Guys anyone for evaluation out there? @H0peAndFa1th @cansha
Q. Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is important for the human being to remain productive by engaging oneself in value-added activities. Although believed by many that parents must take the responsibility to schedule the free time and of their children by enrolling them in organized group activities, some are of the view that children must plan for self-involvement during the leisure time. This essay will discuss both these views before declaring an opinion.
On the one hand, parents are supposed to lead for planning extracurricular activities of their children, in order to the intellectual development of the children. Children having lesser knowledge about the available options is the main catalyst behind this phenomenon. For example, my neighbor chose to send their son to a daily french speaking session organized in the nearby park against his will to play the Cricket, as learning French may prove beneficial for his career progression. Although parents take wiser decisions as per their knowledge; however, whether, the child consuming the decision against his will is still questionable.
On the other hand, children planning at their own, according to there are of interest is also widely supported. This is mainly because if the children think on their own about their social and personal development they can make wiser decisions. For example, Sachin Tendulkar opted to play cricket against his guardians’ decision and developed this leisure activity as a full-time career to become the best batsman in the world. It shows that if children take decisions at their own with little wisdom they tend to choose better options to become more successful.
To summarize both the flanks of this argument have their own benefits. However, in my opinion, taking the decisions oneself according to ones filed of interest gives a better career prospectus and it must be promoted among children and parents.
Q. Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is important for the human being to remain productive by engaging oneself in value-added activities. Although believed by many that parents must take the responsibility to schedule the free time and of their children by enrolling them in organized group activities, some are of the view that children must plan for self-involvement during the leisure time. This essay will discuss both these views before declaring an opinion.
On the one hand, parents are supposed to lead for planning extracurricular activities of their children, in order to the intellectual development of the children. Children having lesser knowledge about the available options is the main catalyst behind this phenomenon. For example, my neighbor chose to send their son to a daily french speaking session organized in the nearby park against his will to play the Cricket, as learning French may prove beneficial for his career progression. Although parents take wiser decisions as per their knowledge; however, whether, the child consuming the decision against his will is still questionable.
On the other hand, children planning at their own, according to there are of interest is also widely supported. This is mainly because if the children think on their own about their social and personal development they can make wiser decisions. For example, Sachin Tendulkar opted to play cricket against his guardians’ decision and developed this leisure activity as a full-time career to become the best batsman in the world. It shows that if children take decisions at their own with little wisdom they tend to choose better options to become more successful.
To summarize both the flanks of this argument have their own benefits. However, in my opinion, taking the decisions oneself according to ones filed of interest gives a better career prospectus and it must be promoted among children and parents.
Hi. I am new in this group and have been struggling with IELTS writing myself. I need 7 bands in it.
As for your essay, I have put some comments in parentheses right beside the potential problems. Reading the prompt, I felt like it wanted us to discuss whether children should take part in group activities or spend time on their own.
Hi. I think you need to work on grammar and punctuation; comma and semi-colon are the most-commonly used punctuation marks so try to familiarize yourself with their uses. Then there was some poor choice of words and the arguments were not explained with strong explanation.
Really ?
This takes away a lot of stress
Thanks bro...or sis
Test was good
Listening was quite easy
Reading had one difficult section-the last one. Still I feel I managed to do well
Writing-Task 2 was problem and solution essay
Many nations have people developing health issues due to unhealthy life style, what are the causes and how can it be dealt with?
Had speaking today, it also went well.
Let's see what happens on 14th
Please evaluate the below essay @pranav_singla055
Q.Most school offer some type of physical program to their students
-Why is physical education important
-Should physical education classes be required or optional
Nowadays schools are implementing physical education in their curriculum for the better grooming of the students.Physical education in the form of exercise and sports plays a vital role in refining every students personality.
To begin, the physical exercise act as stress buster and helps students to refresh their minds.There is a saying that " a healthy mind is in a healthy body" holds true in support of above mentioned view.Hence , continuous studies with no sports or entertainment is not an ideal routine to be followed.In addition to this, children learn better if they spend part of each day getting some physical exercise.Moreover the introduction of physical activities in life of student help them to stay away from precarious diseases like obesity and high heart rate.Furthermore it helps in the overall development of the children mentally and physically.
Secondly , it gives platform to students with intrinsic ability to become sportsman and athlete in their later life.It helps student to recognise the abilities in younger age and get trained to become masters in their selected sports field.To exemplify Sachin tendulkar started playing cricket from very young age and after taking lot of training he become the best batsman of the world.
However some people believe that this subject should be made optional because student get deviated from their actual goals.They think that childrens spend more time on playing sports rather than studying and in this era of bottle neck competition parents believe that their childrens will get good jobs only if they score more in their studies.
In a nutshell , I personally believe that physical eucation program should be made compulsory and included in the school curriculum because of its plethora of benefits.
Thanks in advance...........
Q.Most school offer some type of physical program to their students
-Why is physical education important
-Should physical education classes be required or optional
Nowadays schools are implementing physical education in their curriculum for the better grooming of the students.Physical education in the form of exercise and sports plays a vital role in refining every students personality.
To begin, the physical exercise act as stress buster and helps students to refresh their minds.There is a saying that " a healthy mind is in a healthy body" holds true in support of above mentioned view.Hence , continuous studies with no sports or entertainment is not an ideal routine to be followed.In addition to this, children learn better if they spend part of each day getting some physical exercise.Moreover the introduction of physical activities in life of student help them to stay away from precarious diseases like obesity and high heart rate.Furthermore it helps in the overall development of the children mentally and physically.
Secondly , it gives platform to students with intrinsic ability to become sportsman and athlete in their later life.It helps student to recognise the abilities in younger age and get trained to become masters in their selected sports field.To exemplify Sachin tendulkar started playing cricket from very young age and after taking lot of training he become the best batsman of the world.
However some people believe that this subject should be made optional because student get deviated from their actual goals.They think that childrens spend more time on playing sports rather than studying and in this era of bottle neck competition parents believe that their childrens will get good jobs only if they score more in their studies.
In a nutshell , I personally believe that physical eucation program should be made compulsory and included in the school curriculum because of its plethora of benefits.
Thanks in advance...........
Thanks for your time in evaluating the essays would work upon what you have suggested. We would be happy to see your essay with fully developed ideas with a word count of 250-290.
I have been struggling to come up with strong arguments too. Other than that, need to insert some complex sentences in my essay to score high on grammatical range.
Your essay is good, however, few suggestions :-
Line 3: Physical excercise acts as a stress buster, to begin -> to begin with
Line 6: Secondly, it gives a platform for students with ..... to become sportsmen, students is plural, sportsman is singular and, also usage of athelete in conjuntion with sportsman makes it redundant, because they mean the same.
Line 7 : helps students <omit to> recognise abilities at a younger age
You gave an example of Sachin Tendulkar becoming the best batsman in the world, but how and in what terms? You should add more details like best batsman by scoring the highest runs or by having the highest run rate.
Everywhere you have mentioned students in singular form, where they should had been in plural because you are talking about students in general. Also try to find more appropriate synonyms for overused words like students, such as pupils etc .. indicating your range of lexical resources.
Better replacement for "I personally believe" -> "In my opinion"
Avoid usage of words that are already mentioned in the topic question and find synonyms for them to score in lexical resouces areas.
Your Task Achievement is awesome as well as Coherence and Cohesion and has a definite conclusion, making sure you address the question. However, you should work on using synonyms for words that being repeated like sport, exercise, students, compulsory.
Also, there is a slight problem in grammar, especially with the usage and non usage of pronouns and articles, like pointed out in line3 and line 6
Hello guys!
I would like for you to take a look at my essay, Do you think it is enough for a 7 ?
Thank you in advance.
Reading is more educational than watching videos or TV.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that reading is more educational than watching videos or TV and I strongly agree with this statement due to the great benefits it brings.
Firstly, reading is a powerful exercise that stimulates imagination of children and adults because it helps the brain creating many scenarios that in real life are not possible to have. According to a reaserch made by a university in The United States, children that read books from an early stage in life are 60% more creative than children who do not. Furthermore, creativity plays a pivotal role in life when it comes to inventions make our lives easier.
Another reason why reading is better than watching videos or TV is because books are the main source of informacion for any subject, that is to say that people can find any type of information in books. They are instructive and infromative, whereas TV shows lack of educational content beacause their only focus is to gain rating instead of educating people. If people read the newspaper instead of watching TV, they would gain more knowledge
Thirdly, reading is a great way of improving vocabulary in context becasue when you are reading you learn new words by understanding the general idea of the paragraph. This is a great skill that can help students to have a more educational level when expressing themselves in public or in the business field. In other words, if people read constantly, they would acquire a wide range of vocabulary that could help them communicating more effectively.
To recapitulate, reading is an splendid way of educate oneself because it enhances creativity, educate people and improves vocabulary all at the same time.
Thank you.
I would like for you to take a look at my essay, Do you think it is enough for a 7 ?
Thank you in advance.
Reading is more educational than watching videos or TV.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that reading is more educational than watching videos or TV and I strongly agree with this statement due to the great benefits it brings.
Firstly, reading is a powerful exercise that stimulates imagination of children and adults because it helps the brain creating many scenarios that in real life are not possible to have. According to a reaserch made by a university in The United States, children that read books from an early stage in life are 60% more creative than children who do not. Furthermore, creativity plays a pivotal role in life when it comes to inventions make our lives easier.
Another reason why reading is better than watching videos or TV is because books are the main source of informacion for any subject, that is to say that people can find any type of information in books. They are instructive and infromative, whereas TV shows lack of educational content beacause their only focus is to gain rating instead of educating people. If people read the newspaper instead of watching TV, they would gain more knowledge
Thirdly, reading is a great way of improving vocabulary in context becasue when you are reading you learn new words by understanding the general idea of the paragraph. This is a great skill that can help students to have a more educational level when expressing themselves in public or in the business field. In other words, if people read constantly, they would acquire a wide range of vocabulary that could help them communicating more effectively.
To recapitulate, reading is an splendid way of educate oneself because it enhances creativity, educate people and improves vocabulary all at the same time.
Thank you.
In IELTS essays, "strong argument" is not there in the band descriptors. Arguments must be simple, real and well developed. Ideas must be chosen based upon our capability to make them comprehend to the examiner. The problem here is we want to think of very high-level ideas and then cohesion and lexical resources do not go up to the mark.
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Thirdly, reading is a great way of improving vocabulary in context becasue when you are reading you learn new words by understanding the general idea of the paragraph. This is a great skill that can help students to have a more educational level when expressing themselves in public or in the business field. In other words, if people read constantly, they would acquire a wide range of vocabulary that could help them communicating more effectively.
There is repetition. Avoid repetition.
reading is an splendid way of educate - > reading is a splendid way to educate
"educates" people [singluar and plural]
Task Achievement is awesome.
Coherence and cohesion is ok -> You repeated your third point which will mark down your CC.
Grammar - slightly noticeable problems with grammar in the conclusion.
Lexical resources are fine too.
Thanks for the evaluation.I'll definitely work on the areas that you have shared...…...
It is important for the human being to remain productive by engaging oneself in value-added activities. You're not paraphrasing here. There is no need to be innovative for paraphrasing. They are not talking about humans in general but children / students
Although believed by many that parents must take the responsibility to schedule the free time and of their children by enrolling them in organized group activities, some are of the view that children must plan for self-involvement during the leisure time.
This essay will discuss both these views before declaring an opinion. I have lost number of times I have advised not to use this line. Point 1.4 https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485
On the one hand, parents are supposed to lead for planning extracurricular activities of their children, in order to the intellectual development of the children.
Children having lesser knowledge about the available options is the main catalyst behind this phenomenon. For example, my neighbor chose to send their son to a daily french speaking session organized in the nearby park against his will to play the Cricket, as learning French may prove beneficial for his career progression. Although parents take wiser decisions as per their knowledge; however, whether, the child consuming the decision against his will is still questionable. I think you are way off topic here. The topic wants to discuss whether children should attend group classes or should spend time on their own. You have turned the topic to whether parents are good enough to decide which classes their kids go to. Similar, but not really the topic that has been asked (at least that's how I see it)
On the other hand, children planning at their own, according to there are of interest is also widely supported. Repeating stuff from introduction. Plus very weirdly phrased.
This is mainly because if the children think on their own about their social and personal development they can make wiser decisions. For example, Sachin Tendulkar opted to play cricket against his guardians’ decision and developed this leisure activity as a full-time career to become the best batsman in the world. It shows that if children take decisions at their own with little wisdom they tend to choose better options to become more successful.
To summarize both the flanks of this argument have their own benefits. However, in my opinion, taking the decisions oneself according to ones filed of interest gives a better career prospectus and it must be promoted among children and parents. Poor conclusion.
I won't get into the grammar mistakes but I think the task response is lacking in this essay. And, I know task response is kind of subjective and you don't have to agree with me on that point.
Let's forget task response for a moment. There are far too many grammar mistakes in this essay. The introduction is weak and the conclusion is weak which basically means 7 may be elusive for this effort.