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IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

kangkang1

Full Member
Nov 26, 2018
25
4

First thought is this essay looks little short. it may be just about 250 words. My suggestion would be to write about 265/270 words to be safe on actual exam.



I personally don't like essays written in "third person". I know some websites / online tutors write this was "this essay will ...". I find it unappealing.



I think the context of the essay is entirely different from what you have actually written. It is your interpretation but I'm not sure how much an actual examiner would agree with this interpretation of the topic. In my opinion, you are way off. The essay actually wants you to discuss whether media intrusion is justified or not. publishing someone's charity donations is not media intrusion per se. It is media intrusion when media publishes something which is related to personal lives of people. So I think you have missed the main point.






Honestly, I think positives are that your writing is very clean. the sentences and paragraphs flow and I don't need to read a sentence again to understand what it conveys.

But the negative is that you are way off target according to me in this one. It may depend on examiner but you may get stuck with 6.5 with this one.

You definitely need to read more essays.
Thanks so much. That is my problem, m unable to get relevant ideas. How to improve, is there any essay bank or website where I can get ideas from.also, today was my 2nd attempt at ielts, my essay was fine but I wrote only 142 words for letter , however , all parts were answered but they could have been developed more. What effect will it have on my writing score
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,676
5,855
Thanks so much. That is my problem, m unable to get relevant ideas. How to improve, is there any essay bank or website where I can get ideas from.also, today was my 2nd attempt at ielts, my essay was fine but I wrote only 142 words for letter , however , all parts were answered but they could have been developed more. What effect will it have on my writing score
There is no specific website that I followed for essay bank but there are several websites and free essays available online. Just search for a particular essay topic if you are struggling for ideas. And when you find ideas which you like note them down in a notebook and create your idea bank by topic. As it is there are handful of topics which are asked in IELTS. It won't take more than 4-5 days of effort to create a document with essay ideas. But key still remains is to understand the question and not just copy paste the ideas you already have. Slight tweaks may be needed on actual exam question.

Writing less than the prescribed minimum word limit is troublesome. But, it is good that you wrote less words in Task 1 instead of Task 2. So if Task 2 response is good you will still score better as the weightage to task 2 is more. If you had less words in task 2 then it would have been a bad news because then chances of a 7+ score are very less.

If you have done a good enough job in Task 2 then you can still hope for a good score. All the best!
 

jatinder161088

Star Member
May 30, 2018
72
29
@cansha Please evaluate my 2nd essay.
Thank you in advance.

In order to solve traffic problems, government should tax private cars heavily and use the money to improve public transport.

What are advantages and disadvantages of such solution?



Due to the spurt in traffic congestion issues and to combat with it, personal car owners should be charged with hefty amount of tax. The revenue should later be used for betterment of public transport. This solution will greatly reduce the number of cars on road, however, affording a car for an individual will become an arduous task.

One unequivocal advantage of this step is the decline in number of cars on road, which will directly be helpful in reduction of air pollution to great extent. Furthermore, people will get more inclined towards alternatives like car-pooling, bus, metro train etc. Lastly, the revenue generated from the taxes can easily be used improving the infrastructure of public transport services such as increasing the fleet of buses/trains, creating better connectivity between different locations by introducing more routes and so on. This will encourage people to use more public conveyance instead of their own cars.

On the other hand, there are certain disadvantages as well. Firstly, despite of the fact that individual is already paying an income tax, an additional heavy amount of tax can possibly lead a middle or lower middle-class person to be under crisis. Buying a car for a family where it is a pivotal need due to unavailability of better public transport, will become quite a difficult task. Finally, due to the poor car sales, auto manufacturers will also become reluctant to invest or introduce new products in a country. This will impact nation’s relationships with automakers and will affect the nation’s economy too.

In conclusion, imposing high amount of taxes on personal car owners is like a double-edged sword. Government should introduce such regulations keeping both positive and negative aspects in mind.



Total words=284
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,676
5,855
@cansha Please evaluate my 2nd essay.
Thank you in advance.

In order to solve traffic problems, government should tax private cars heavily and use the money to improve public transport.

What are advantages and disadvantages of such solution?
Due to the spurt in traffic congestion issues and to combat with it, personal car owners should be charged with hefty amount of tax. The revenue should later be used for betterment of public transport. Good

This solution will greatly reduce the number of cars on road, however, affording a car for an individual will become an arduous task. I saw your second paragraph and your argument is good. This phrase could be a little better to show what you actually mean here.
Overall good introduction!

One unequivocal advantage of this step is the decline in number of cars on road, which will directly be helpful in reduction of air pollution to great extent. Furthermore, people will get more inclined towards alternatives like car-pooling, bus, metro train etc. Lastly, the revenue generated from the taxes can easily be used improving the infrastructure of public transport services such as increasing the fleet of buses/trains, creating better connectivity between different locations by introducing more routes and so on. This will encourage people to use more public conveyance instead of their own cars.
Well written!

On the other hand, there are certain disadvantages as well. This phrase has no value as stand alone. If you want such an opening may be combine this sentence and the basic idea of second sentence to make a good complex sentence.

Firstly, despite of the fact that individual is already paying an income tax, an additional heavy amount of tax can possibly lead a middle or lower middle-class person to be under crisis.

Buying a car for a family where it is a pivotal need due to unavailability of better public transport, will become quite a difficult task. Good

Finally, due to the poor car sales, auto manufacturers will also become reluctant to invest or introduce new products in a country. This will impact nation’s relationships with automakers and will affect the nation’s economy too. Good argument. Could be a little more clear but good. Because if you think about it a normal person may not be able to make connection between relation with global car makers with a nation. A better or rather a simpler argument would have been that declining auto sales may lead to job losses etc and hence impact on economy. Just make that connection between declining economy and declining car sales a little more simple.
Idea progression is good. Well written.

In conclusion, imposing high amount of taxes on personal car owners is like a double-edged sword. Government should introduce such regulations keeping both positive and negative aspects in mind.
Total words=284
Conclusion is okay. It could be a little better if you could reiterate the points of essay in conclusion.

Overall, the "growth" from your previous essay to this one is astounding. You deserve a lot of credit and your hard work is visible. This essay will fetch a good score in the exam. I have a few suggestions noted in the essay for your consideration. Use them if they make sense to you. if not, still good.

I think your exam is in 4 days. So all the best!
 
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jatinder161088

Star Member
May 30, 2018
72
29
Overall good introduction!



Well written!



Idea progression is good. Well written.



Conclusion is okay. It could be a little better if you could reiterate the points of essay in conclusion.

Overall, the "growth" from your previous essay to this one is astounding. You deserve a lot of credit and your hard work is visible. This essay will fetch a good score in the exam. I have a few suggestions noted in the essay for your consideration. Use them if they make sense to you. if not, still good.

I think your exam is in 4 days. So all the best!
Thank you @cansha
I will improve more and write few more essays before my exam.
 

dvm.bilaeen88l

Star Member
Jun 29, 2018
120
49
35
Pakistan
Category........
FSW
Visa Office......
London
NOC Code......
3114
App. Filed.......
18-01-2018
Doc's Request.
05-02-2018, 10-07-2018
AOR Received.
18-01-2018
Passport Req..
03-10-2018
Listening 8.5
Reading 9
Speaking 7.5
Writing 6.5(old) New : 7
OverAllBandScore 8

Guys, you can imagine my state, Got positive EOR of this test, got 7 in writing in this one tooo.

now can I say I got 7 in writing many times, And its not by an accident or luck.
Congratulations hope and faith.
I am very very happy for you.
I logged in today after a month and I am so glad to read this very good news
Keep up your morale. Good luck for rest of the formalities with procedure. Surely now Canada is very near my brother. Best of luck.
I was hoping that Cansha may have recieved his PR email as well, but it is still not the case. I would like to wish him a very good luck.
Regards.
Dr. Muhammad Bilal
 

kangkang1

Full Member
Nov 26, 2018
25
4
PEople learn better a language better, if he stays in a country where it is spoken. Discuss this view and give your opinion,

In this case do we need to discuss both sides ? Or give views only why it is an advantage to stay in the Nation where that language is spoken?
 
Sep 19, 2018
18
0
Can somebody please evaluate my essay??

Topic : Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In this contemporary world, infrastructure development is the chief requirement for any country. Government is allocating a big budget for the development of railways as well as roads. When the question comes to the people, they have different opinions regarding spending money on railways rather than roads. However, as per my perspective, the government should spend more money on railways.

The main benefits to develop railways are as follows. Firstly, it is the safest and quickest mode of transportation. For example, as per the survey, road accidents are far more compared to railways. Secondly, nowadays pollution is a global issue, and railways are the most convenient and effective way to reduce pollution. For Instance, in India, the Delhi government is advising people to travel by railway rather than by car. In addition to that, railways also play a vital role in the transportation of goods such as coal, milk, vegetables.

On the other hand, roads are also predominant part of our daily life. First of all, roads are very helpful for the people living in main cities as the rail lines are often away from the city area. For example, many public transport and private vehicles are always running on the road for people’s convenience. Secondly, roads are useful for transportation of goods within a short distance. However, vehicles are spreading more pollution so it should be avoided by the government.

In Conclusion, the government should invest money to build a safer, faster and more reliable transportation system and the railway should be the priority. I believe it is applicable for all developed and developing countries.
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,676
5,855
PEople learn better a language better, if he stays in a country where it is spoken. Discuss this view and give your opinion,

In this case do we need to discuss both sides ? Or give views only why it is an advantage to stay in the Nation where that language is spoken?
You can take both routes. So you can focus entirely on why staying in a nation is the best way to learn a language.

Or you can write one BP on why it makes sense to stay in a nation to learn a language. But your opinion is that it is not necessary to stay in a place to learn a language and you can do it by learning apps, watching films etc. and in other BP you discuss alternatives to learn a language without being present in a nation where it is spoken natively.
 

kangkang1

Full Member
Nov 26, 2018
25
4
You can take both routes. So you can focus entirely on why staying in a nation is the best way to learn a language.

Or you can write one BP on why it makes sense to stay in a nation to learn a language. But your opinion is that it is not necessary to stay in a place to learn a language and you can do it by learning apps, watching films etc. and in other BP you discuss alternatives to learn a language without being present in a nation where it is spoken natively.
Thanks, however I agreed with the statement and gave 1st reason that as people will be able to practice their skills while speaking with natives and second para reason, that even Teachers who teach native language will have better hold on it and will be able to impart better learning to people so that they become good speakers.
I think, I think quite differently. What are your suggestions.
 

kangkang1

Full Member
Nov 26, 2018
25
4
You can take both routes. So you can focus entirely on why staying in a nation is the best way to learn a language.

Or you can write one BP on why it makes sense to stay in a nation to learn a language. But your opinion is that it is not necessary to stay in a place to learn a language and you can do it by learning apps, watching films etc. and in other BP you discuss alternatives to learn a language without being present in a nation where it is spoken natively.
Thanks, however I agreed with the statement and gave 1st reason that as people will be able to practice their skills while speaking with natives and second para reason, that even Teachers who teach native language will have better hold on it and will be able to impart better learning to people so that they become good speakers.
I think, I think quite differently. What are your suggestions.
 

cansha

VIP Member
Aug 1, 2018
6,676
5,855
Thanks, however I agreed with the statement and gave 1st reason that as people will be able to practice their skills while speaking with natives and second para reason, that even Teachers who teach native language will have better hold on it and will be able to impart better learning to people so that they become good speakers.
I think, I think quite differently. What are your suggestions.
It's fine I just gave that as an example that even in that case if you wanted to disagree you can make some points.
 

kangkang1

Full Member
Nov 26, 2018
25
4
I just got my results for computer based ielts written on 9th Dec
L- 8.5, R-7.5, W- 6.5, S-8
I was confident of my essay but I know I wrote 142 words for letter.

First attempt
L-9,R-8,W- 6.5,S- 7.. sent for reval.

Guys I really need your help to score 7 in writing. I Think I can go for only one more attempt coz I have two kids and it’s tough to study with toddlers and i can give maximum up to two hours a day for preparation. Please let me know how to push to score 7. I can write again in jan end.
 

nns14

Champion Member
Feb 10, 2018
1,440
888
Category........
FSW
Visa Office......
Nairobi, Kenya
NOC Code......
2147
App. Filed.......
26-09-2019
AOR Received.
26-09-2019
File Transfer...
24-10-2019
Passport Req..
18-Jul-2022
VISA ISSUED...
05-Aug-2022
LANDED..........
11-Jan-2023
Ladies and Gents,

I got the result of my EOR today (checked online)
I got boosted to 7 in writing.
I am in disbelief, in shock, in a dream.
After 7 attempts:


1st: 8.5, 7, 6.5, 6 (LRSW) (03/03/18)
2nd: 7.5, 6.5, 7, 6 (07/04/2018)
3rd: 7.5, 8, 8, 6 (21/04/2018)
4th: 8.5, 8.5, 7.5, 6.5 (02/06/2018) (EOR unchanged)
5th: 7, 7.5, 7, 6.5 (30/06/2018)
6th: 7.5, 7, 7.5, 6.5 (08/09/2018)
7th 8.5, 8, 7.5, 6.5 (24/11/2018) [Applied EOR: Result: 8.5, 8, 7.5, 7]

I finally cleared IELTS. 9 months of constant trying... spending over $5,000 in IELTS because my country does not have IELTS, for each attempt, I had to travel to another country.
I tried many things but thank to Allah, I have finally done it. It took a huge effort, mental strength, determination, will-power, and support from friends, families, and those we dream Canada together. Do not give up. Practice and get your essay corrected to find where your weaknesses are.

I am posting here to boost your morale and to thank you for your support in my difficult times. My name is Mohamed and you may contact me via private message any info you may need from me. Thank you.

Thank you @cansha @H0peAndFa1th for checking my essays and posting a lot of very helpful posts in here.