Hi guys!
Would appreciate if someone could evaluate my essay.
The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults that cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. To what extent you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that education plays an important role in modern world. Educating the youth is often treated as main focus for majority of countries around the world. However, some argue that providing illiterate people with an access to education is necessary for the society. Therefore, more funds should be allocated to this matter. I personally agree with the latter opinion.
Governments should focus on providing education opportunities for all of their citizens, regardless of their age, because well-educated society has an overall positive impact on country's economy. By educating illiterate adults, governments increase their chances of joining the labour market. As a result, when they find employment, they become independent as they do not need to take the advantage of government's welfare, and become regular tax payers - both of which also benefit country's economy.
As for the illiterate individual, it is undoubtedly necessary to possess the ability to both write and read as it is imperative for a proper quality of life. While lacking such skills, it is extremely difficult to perform and engage in everyday tasks. For example, it is virtually impossible to seek employment or sign an apartment lease. Therefore, both standard and quality of living of such individuals drastically decrease, and so do their opportunities for self-development. In addition, such situation can also lead to feelings of alienation, or even depression, because such illiterate adult may be considered maladjusted.
In conclusion, I believe governments should focus not only on educating young people, but also ensure that illiterate members of the society are provided with proper education. A well-educated society is both essential to the development of a country and individuals themselves.
Well written! I liked it. It was easy to read and the flow was good. I didn't see any big issues with English or Grammar that needed correcting. Introduction was good for this kind of essay. The ideas are on point and on the topic. Well done!