IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Rehanyousaf]

Hello @cansha @marosa I appeared last week, unfortunately, couldn't crack the required score in writing. Rest score are quite good. I'm appearing in a week or two weeks again. This time, I'm trying to focus more on content than complex grammar. Therefore, a review is requested. TIA

Nowadays students are given too much homework due to which they cannot learn other important skills in life. What is your opinion?

It is believed by many that excessive homework refrains pupils to instil many vital traits. However, I disagree with this notion as giving homework helps learners to improve their problem-solving abilities and make them disciplined and independent.

Giving assignments to solve from home enhances children’s problem-solving abilities. While I concede that homework tends to overburden students at home, extra time for leisure activities can divert their attention from studies. During school time, they are often under the supervision of teachers who help them to learn. However, at home, they mostly have to rely on their own. Therefore, while completing school work from home if they come across with any issue, they mostly have to solve it by themselves, which polishes their thinking abilities and makes them a problem solver.

Homework also makes children more disciplined and independent. As they have to divide their evening time between curricular and extra-curricular activities, they need to develop a time table. Not only do they need to design a schedule, but they also require to keep stick with it. If they do not follow the time table, they might have to cut their playtime, which they really do not want. Moreover, managing both activities increases their confidence and faith in their own abilities, which makes them independent.

To conclude, not only does homework help proteges to develop critical thinking, but it also makes them disciplined and independent. Therefore, on balance, while I concede that it might overburden children, the abilities they develop as a result are far more advantageous.

 

[reesastark]

hello, did you guys stopped reviewing essays here? :-(

 

[sandeepkumar9788]

@cansha @marosa please review it and provide your valuable feedback. I have my exam tomorrow.

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

With raising alarm bells on climate change, some people believe that ecological issues are better dealt at a country level while others think that they need to be addressed globally. In my opinion, a robust national-based approach will help mitigate ecological footprints as it offers a scope for customized planning & execution as per the countries needs.

Many people think, on the one hand, that climate issues ought to be addressed globally as it facilitates coordinated efforts between countries and may lead to universal solution to mitigate damage to the climate. If global think tanks are set-up with concerted efforts between countries in order to bolster poor countries in their effort to give up fossil fuels, they would be willing to participate alongside rich countries in the climate moment. To state an example, world wild life fun is an organization spread globally to help restore forest cover especially in backward nations. Despite these benefits, this approach can never ensure that the sustainable practices reach to the last mile and are monitored over long-term.

some people, on the other hand , believer that a nation-wise perspective not only ensures that governments customize the sustainable development goals better but also executes them to reach all their citizens. If the approach is subjective to the respective geographies, all poor nations will be willing to adopt the these practices in order to save money in the long term . To illustrate, united states has large swathes of land which helps them harness wind power more than tydel power. On the same token, government in backward nations could make the program effective by giving fuel subsidies for small business owners as an incentive which is not necessary in rich nations.

To sum up, enhanced planning and execution enabled by customized approach towards saving environment makes the nation-wise approach , in my view, better than the global approach.

 

[CA GURPREET SINGH MANN]

@cansha @marosa please review it and provide your valuable feedback. I have my exam tomorrow.

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

With raising alarm bells on climate change, some people believe that ecological issues are better dealt at a country level while others think that they need to be addressed globally. In my opinion, a robust national-based approach will help mitigate ecological footprints as it offers a scope for customized planning & execution as per the countries needs.

Many people think, on the one hand, that climate issues ought to be addressed globally as it facilitates coordinated efforts between countries and may lead to universal solution to mitigate damage to the climate. If global think tanks are set-up with concerted efforts between countries in order to bolster poor countries in their effort to give up fossil fuels, they would be willing to participate alongside rich countries in the climate moment. To state an example, world wild life fun is an organization spread globally to help restore forest cover especially in backward nations. Despite these benefits, this approach can never ensure that the sustainable practices reach to the last mile and are monitored over long-term.

some people, on the other hand , believer that a nation-wise perspective not only ensures that governments customize the sustainable development goals better but also executes them to reach all their citizens. If the approach is subjective to the respective geographies, all poor nations will be willing to adopt the these practices in order to save money in the long term . To illustrate, united states has large swathes of land which helps them harness wind power more than tydel power. On the same token, government in backward nations could make the program effective by giving fuel subsidies for small business owners as an incentive which is not necessary in rich nations.

To sum up, enhanced planning and execution enabled by customized approach towards saving environment makes the nation-wise approach , in my view, better than the global approach.

https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/post-8571064

I have tried the same topic. Please have a look on this also as it might help you too.

 

[CA GURPREET SINGH MANN]

@cansha @marosa please review it and provide your valuable feedback. I have my exam tomorrow.

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

With raising alarm bells i think the word alarm bells are not academic (maybe, but not sure) on climate change, some people believe that ecological issues are better dealt at a country level while others think that they need to be addressed globally. In my opinion, a robust national-based nation-wide approach will can help mitigate ecological footprints as it offers a scope for customized planning & and execution as per the countries either it is country's or countries' (apostrophe) needs.

Many people think, on the one hand, that climate issues ought to be addressed globally = On the one hand, addressing climate crisis on a global scale can facilitate
as it facilitates coordinated efforts between countries and may lead to universal solution to mitigate damage to the climate. If global think tanks are set-up with concerted efforts between countries in order to bolster poor countries in their effort to give up fossil fuels, they would be willing to participate alongside rich countries in the climate moment (movement) = I think you need a solid and a specific reason here in the explanation line- it could be more countries means more resources, technologies and skills. This can help to reduce the damage to the environment due to global warming and pollution. However, coordination is impractical in reality and their benefits only remain to developed and some developing countries. - just some thought,...... To state an example, world wild life fun is an organization spread globally to help restore forest cover especially in backward nations. Despite these benefits, this approach can never ensure that the sustainable practices reach to the last mile and are monitored over long-term. example is right as per you also and my points also.

some people, on the other hand , believer = on the other hand, a nation-wide ......(try to make these phrases concise
that a nation-wise perspective not only ensures that governments customize the sustainable development goals better but also executes them to reach all their citizens. (this is just a bit broader explanation of what you have explained already) Here it should be WHY???? - because they know what specific issues their country is facing and they have financial and material resources to treat them. - like they can ban plastic in their country, ban deforestation etc) If the approach is subjective to the respective geographies, all poor nations will be willing to adopt the these practices in order to save money in the long term (i dont think this is a valid explanation here, especially related to what you want to say) . To illustrate (avoid ) , united states (grammar U and the) has large swathes of land which helps them harness wind power more than tydel power. On the same token, government in backward nations could make the program effective by giving fuel subsidies for small business owners as an incentive which is not necessary in rich nations. (eg- Air pollution is reduced dramatically by India over the last 5 years as the governemt are giving subsidies to people to shoft from fuel-based to electronic cars which do not pollute much as the fuel cars do) something like that

To sum up, enhanced planning and execution enabled by customized approach towards saving environment makes the nation-wise approach , in my view, better than the global approach. To conclude, ..... One liners conclusion to be avoided.

Please read the comments of @cansha and @marosa in detail. Make sure you analyse them also. Your English is good, but please have a detailed look on Task Achievement and cohesion.
We hope you achieve the desired score after improving yourself, (the same I am doing )

 

[Ida_M]

Please anyone's willing to review and give inputs on my previous essay? Thank you!

 

[Vyn]

You stayed at your friend’s house when you attended a conference in Australia. Unfortunately, you left a large envelope with some important documents in your room. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter:
thank your friend for the stay
describe where you left the envelope
ask him/her to return it to you by post

Dear Amy,

I am hoping you are in a great spirit upon receiving my letter. I am feeling grateful for your kindness for allowing me to stay at your house even if it was a last minute request. You have help me save time and effort in finding accommodation in a cold weather. Please do tell my appreciation to your parents, that I am thankful for their warm welcome and making me feel at home during my short stay.

I am about to ask another favour from you, I hope you do not mind. Due to my last minute packing, I have left my small laptop bag inside the closet. You will find a long brown envelope with a big W logo inside the bag. The envelop contains various confidential documents that are crucial to my project presentation in the office in two weeks time.

I am hoping you could help post the envelope to me this week. I will wire you the fees for the parcel delivery the soonest you let me know how much it will cost.
Thank you in advance for extending your helping hand with me again.

I am wishing you good health, and be always safe. I am looking forward to hear from you the soonest.

Yours sincerely,
Jhia

 

[Vyn]

Some people believe that the whole family (grandparents, uncles, aunts) bringing up children is better rather than only parents. What is your opinion?

Answer:
Majority of the public agree that raising children with the extended family will further develop his/her full potential rather than the parents alone. In my opinion, it is best to have all the family members involved in nurturing a child.

Firstly, because it teaches the child to be flexible, secondly; it increases the social awareness and develops self -esteem and confidence of the child, and lastly; it builds strong relations in the family. There were studies conducted that children exposed to other people have better coping skills and higher chance to overcome separation anxiety and fear of people. Majority of children were able to recognise different people, and learn to trust in them. Growing up with different people also develops the child's confidence and learns to be independent too. Nowadays, parents easily give in to their children's demands, but with other family members it is sometimes not an issue. The child is encouraged to perform and complete daily life skills on his own, giving room for them to grow.

Moreover, varying ideas and strategies from the senior members of the family is deemed helpful too. Life experiences are a great teacher. Parents could learn from their own parents on how to care and develop their own child to blossom like how they have grown as an adult. The guidance from extended family develops a sense of solidarity within the family to children.They will greatly learn the importance of family and how to build strong relationships to overcome challenges or problems in life.

In conclusion, yes some agreed that it is the parent's job to raise a child, but it is also the responsibility of a lot of people to raise a responsible person to be part of the society. It is my view, to have extended family involvement and be part of upbringing the child for a brighter future.

 

[Vyn]

@cansha kindly review my work

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Answer:
Others have pointed out that environmental issues are a global problem and that it should be dealt with on a larger scale around the globe, while some have contradicting views and have shared that it is best to handle the issue in national level.

On one note, people all around the world are consumers of various products. Most of the consumed products were made of plastic. Plastic is the number one pollutant in the environment. There is an increase of air, water, and land pollution across the globe due to an increase of consumerism. Pollution is a global phenomenon that all must contribute in saving and protecting the nature. The environmental problems can be solved by having a solidarity spirit of all the global leaders. Collaboration and cooperation of the countries around the world will greatly affect the mindset of all human race.

On the other hand, some people believe that it can be solved by individual countries. They agree that it should start within a country and that the result is more feasible. Yes, it will have a positive result temporarily but not on a long term basis. The importance in saving the environment is to have a bigger picture that it will last a lifetime for the future generation to witness. Time is crucial. One country to another country collaboration is way better than to have only one cleaner country.

To summary, environmental issues are everyone's concern, it is a global issue. It is an issue that all human beings needed to work on to solve the problem. Global effort could have shorter period of recovery rather than to tackle the crisis nationally.

 

[Vyn]

In many countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. Why is this happening? What will the effects of this be on the family and society?

Some countries are losing the custom of having a meal together as a family. The reason why it is happening in the current generation is still a debatable issue. Some groups of people wonder what will be the effects of this issue on the family and in society in the long run.

In my view, there are two major reasons why it is happening, firstly it is due to the mindset of people gaining financial freedom, secondly is due to increasing popularity of social media. In today's generation, the young adults are keen to work hard in order to earn more, resulting in increased working hours and lesser time being with the family. People are aiming to reach financial freedom and zero debt. With this perspective of some, it affects the physiological and psychological aspect of the person, they become restless and lethargic. They have inadequate time to spend with family, even more to have a warm meal with them. On a larger scale, it affects the traditional gathering of the family. Moreover, due to the increasing popularity of social media in the current generation, especially the youngsters, they tend to use their phone more often than to bond with their family. There has been an increase in phone usage recently compared to earlier years. With this new innovation, it greatly affects the relationship in a family.

Losing a family tradition is like losing a part of someone's life. It will greatly affect the upbringing of the child. Some young adults may lose the sense of solidarity and feeling of belongingness. It also makes the senior members of the family to feel alone and neglected since technology is not for all, especially to older folks. Majority of the seniors still prefer to have an in-person gathering and bonding.
It greatly affects the society too, if one member of the family is stressed and psychologically challenged, his/her way of thinking is affected, she might then impose harm to the community.

To recapitulate, the majority of the countries around the world struggle to keep their old tradition of having a meal together. It is due to social media, and everyone's goal to be financially stable, it is gradually disappearing. This change affects the current generation negatively and a potential threat to the peace and order of any country.

 

[Domsata]

Nope there is not, and you can check on this forum people have already given ielts 6 times, 8 times, 6th Jan was my second attempt in general, and already given academic two times, I personally know people who gave 4-5 times, So don't think that way, its like brute-forcing.

The main reasons for not succeeding in first two attempts is, you actually don't get the idea about test in first attempts, if your English is weak or you are nervous, then it makes things worse for you. I have seen people so relaxed, when they are taking it like 5th, 6th or even 8th, 9th times.

from your scores, its clear that your Reading is weak too, Its all about synonyms and comprehension of text.

Hey I have uploaded a new book, Essay Writing for English Tests by Gabi Duigu, check above, when I was thinking about your 5.5 bands, it just came to my mind that this could help you, first I was going to write a long lecture, but this book is THE BEST for you, I only recommended things, that I have read.

Read both books ( 1 & 2) then try to write a essay on above cleared sample answer sheet pdf, post your essay pictures.

I wish to know how the overall score of 6.5 affect express entry application?

 

[sandeepkumar9788]

Hello All

I got my IELTS general result today. This was my 7th Attempt. Below is my result.

Listening - 8.5
Reading - 8.5
Speaking - 7
Writing -7

my humble suggestion to all people trying for a 8777 score - A part of it is sheer LUCK!!! so ,don't bash yourself , if you don't achieve the required score; However, learn and make changes to your writing techniques ,have faith in yourself and keep going

Thanks to all the people who evaluated my essays and helped me ,especially to @cansha @marosa. You are the reason I kept going after every failed attempt (I was stuck in writing at 6.5 in every other previous attempts)

Finally, I'm done with IELTS

P.S - My CRS is 475 ,now. With the current FSW cut-off(478) I will not make it. Hope, the cut-off dips in the coming days.

 

[aj534160]

Hello All

I got my IELTS general result today. This was my 7th Attempt. Below is my result.

Listening - 8.5
Reading - 8.5
Speaking - 7
Writing -7

my humble suggestion to all people trying for a 8777 score - A part of it is sheer LUCK!!! so ,don't bash yourself , if you don't achieve the required score; However, learn and make changes to your writing techniques ,have faith in yourself and keep going

Thanks to all the people who evaluated my essays and helped me ,especially to @cansha @marosa. You are the reason I kept going after every failed attempt (I was stuck in writing at 6.5 in every other previous attempts)

Finally, I'm done with IELTS

P.S - My CRS is 475 ,now. With the current FSW cut-off(478) I will not make it. Hope, the cut-off dips in the coming days.

Where did you write the exam?
And how many members were along with you when you were writing the exam. Also, could you tell me if yours is a paper/pencil one or CD IELTS?

 

[cansha]

Hello All

I got my IELTS general result today. This was my 7th Attempt. Below is my result.

Listening - 8.5
Reading - 8.5
Speaking - 7
Writing -7

my humble suggestion to all people trying for a 8777 score - A part of it is sheer LUCK!!! so ,don't bash yourself , if you don't achieve the required score; However, learn and make changes to your writing techniques ,have faith in yourself and keep going

Thanks to all the people who evaluated my essays and helped me ,especially to @cansha @marosa. You are the reason I kept going after every failed attempt (I was stuck in writing at 6.5 in every other previous attempts)

Finally, I'm done with IELTS

P.S - My CRS is 475 ,now. With the current FSW cut-off(478) I will not make it. Hope, the cut-off dips in the coming days.

Congrats @sandeepkumar9788 this is awesome news! It takes a lot of hard work to keep going for multiple attempts. I'm glad it's over for you. Wish you all the best for rest of the process.

 

[cansha]

@cansha kindly review my work

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Answer:
Others have pointed out that environmental issues are a global problem and that it should be dealt with on a larger scale around the globe, while some have contradicting views and have shared that it is best to handle the issue in national level.

On one note, people all around the world are consumers of various products. Most of the consumed products were made of plastic. Plastic is the number one pollutant in the environment. There is an increase of air, water, and land pollution across the globe due to an increase of consumerism. Pollution is a global phenomenon that all must contribute in saving and protecting the nature. The environmental problems can be solved by having a solidarity spirit of all the global leaders. Collaboration and cooperation of the countries around the world will greatly affect the mindset of all human race.

On the other hand, some people believe that it can be solved by individual countries. They agree that it should start within a country and that the result is more feasible. Yes, it will have a positive result temporarily but not on a long term basis. The importance in saving the environment is to have a bigger picture that it will last a lifetime for the future generation to witness. Time is crucial. One country to another country collaboration is way better than to have only one cleaner country.

To summary, environmental issues are everyone's concern, it is a global issue. It is an issue that all human beings needed to work on to solve the problem. Global effort could have shorter period of recovery rather than to tackle the crisis nationally.

In many countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. Why is this happening? What will the effects of this be on the family and society?

Some countries are losing the custom of having a meal together as a family. The reason why it is happening in the current generation is still a debatable issue. Some groups of people wonder what will be the effects of this issue on the family and in society in the long run.

In my view, there are two major reasons why it is happening, firstly it is due to the mindset of people gaining financial freedom, secondly is due to increasing popularity of social media. In today's generation, the young adults are keen to work hard in order to earn more, resulting in increased working hours and lesser time being with the family. People are aiming to reach financial freedom and zero debt. With this perspective of some, it affects the physiological and psychological aspect of the person, they become restless and lethargic. They have inadequate time to spend with family, even more to have a warm meal with them. On a larger scale, it affects the traditional gathering of the family. Moreover, due to the increasing popularity of social media in the current generation, especially the youngsters, they tend to use their phone more often than to bond with their family. There has been an increase in phone usage recently compared to earlier years. With this new innovation, it greatly affects the relationship in a family.

Losing a family tradition is like losing a part of someone's life. It will greatly affect the upbringing of the child. Some young adults may lose the sense of solidarity and feeling of belongingness. It also makes the senior members of the family to feel alone and neglected since technology is not for all, especially to older folks. Majority of the seniors still prefer to have an in-person gathering and bonding.
It greatly affects the society too, if one member of the family is stressed and psychologically challenged, his/her way of thinking is affected, she might then impose harm to the community.

To recapitulate, the majority of the countries around the world struggle to keep their old tradition of having a meal together. It is due to social media, and everyone's goal to be financially stable, it is gradually disappearing. This change affects the current generation negatively and a potential threat to the peace and order of any country.

Sorry I have been away. Both the essays are weak especially the one on pollution. Request you to read this post

https://www.canadavisa.com/canada-immigration-discussion-board/threads/ielts-writing-for-band-7-or-above.540392/page-90#post-7568485