I should have listen to my friends -

[Otilia3107]

I guess I am another victim of a Cuban marriage fraud. I been with my husband for 3 years. Our relationship was good but there were some signs that I just choose to tag them as immaturity from his side. Otherwise my husband was a very affectionate person, kissing me every minute,hugging me tight all night, never missed a call from me and so on.. After our wedding In Cuba I came back in Canada and started the sponsorship process. I found out that I was pregnant. I had a sit down talk to him explaining him that a baby is not a toy and it's a big responsibility and that maybe we are not ready for a baby yet. He got angry and said now way... he wants the baby. I was happy because deep down inside me I really wanted this baby as well.
I went back to Canada and move to another city where I could save money for our baby because the expenses were to high in an urban city. However because of that choice I was all by my self during my whole pregnancy and even after our daughter was born.
My husband started being very irresponsible, he started asking me for money all the time, he had a gambling problem, not picking up my calls anymore when I needed to talk to him. He even complained that I call him to much when I was calling him because I was in the hospital with our premature daughter. We were fighting alot because his behaviour.
However I still decided to go ahead with the sponsorship with the hope that we can fix our issues once he's here. I went to Cuba with our baby when my baby turned 4 months old and his papers were almost ready. Things were shit there that I got at the point that I almost changed my flight to come back earlier and not wait for his sponsorship. He was arrogant and full of himself he will leave me alone with the baby and his family and go out with his friends. However he convinced me once again not to leave.
He got his papers and his first instinct was to call his friend instead of hugging me and his child. We came in Canada and on the plane he was taking pictures of himself in the plane not including us in the photos.
When we got in Canada the first day he went in Facebook and started talking to lots of people women and men. I saw a message that he send to a woman saying that he will call her when he can because he can't really talk. I decided to put a spyware in my computer to see what he's doing. It only took 12 hours to catch him. He send a message to this woman telling her he loves her very very very much but this woman (me) can get him deported and he will call her once he gets a cellphone.
I confronted him and kicked him out. He left and went to Toronto to some friends house. That was only 3 days after he got in Canada.
It's been a month since he came to Canada and he only came to visit his daughter once for an hour with the excuse that he's working and he doesn't have time. He is playing the victim telling his friends that I am a crazy person because I was emotional and threaten him when I found that message. He is pretending to be a good father to his friends mean while he hasn't spend more than 15 days in total with his daughter who is now 6 months old.
I am now planing to take my daughter and go back to my home country with her. Thanks God I never put him in the birth certificate because deep down inside me I had a feeling this will happen after he put me through what he put me during the pregnancy.
He just called today asking me if I am planing to come back to Canada and I said I don't think so. And he told me he will not sign any paper that allows me to take his daughter away. LOL...I laugh and told him he has no right over her but it's nice to know that he is being selfish again and thinking of himself and choose to see me and his daughter suffering here so he can visit her maybe once a month when he knows that we could have an amazing life in my country as I own properties and business there and I have my family to help.
I don't know what to do... the only person I want to be happy is my daughter. Some of my friends tells me to cut all ties with him and some they tell me to still stay in touch with him because he is the father of my daughter. I honestly think of cutting him out of our lives completely. He is not a good father not a good person to be in my life.

I know, I know... I was an idiot even though my friends warn me to be careful. But I can't change the pass only the future. And most important I want my daughter to be happy and have a great life. I wish I can send him back to his country but now is to late.
Also when I got in the relationship with him I was already living in another country for 8 months but because of him I came back to Canada to sponsor him. Now I am thinking of actually giving up my residency as I am more happy in my country with my family. Would that be possible while I am still responsible for him for 3 years? And is this going to affect his residency? I really hope so.

 

[mrs_december]

1. You can absolutely give up your residency. You're not required to stay in Canada if you don't choose to.
2. Your sponsorship undertaking was a legally binding agreement. You are responsible for him for three years if he has already landed, as your post indicates. If he goes on welfare during those 3 years, you'd be liable to pay it back.
3. Unless you're able to work with a lawyer and prove beyond doubt that he committed marriage fraud, then it will not affect his residency. There might be more members here who could provide more insight into this.
4. I think you need to speak with a divorce lawyer to see what you can do to protect yourself and your child in terms of your future assets.

 

[Otilia3107]

1. You can absolutely give up your residency. You're not required to stay in Canada if you don't choose to.
2. Your sponsorship undertaking was a legally binding agreement. You are responsible for him for three years if he has already landed, as your post indicates. If he goes on welfare during those 3 years, you'd be liable to pay it back.
3. Unless you're able to work with a lawyer and prove beyond doubt that he committed marriage fraud, then it will not affect his residency. There might be more members here who could provide more insight into this.
4. I think you need to speak with a divorce lawyer to see what you can do to protect yourself and your child in terms of your future assets.

Thank you.

 

[AshaMc]

I'm so sorry this has happened love.
I've heard so many horror stories.
I hope you get things figured out and in your best interest.

 

[OP_POP]

I am sorry to hear it. But maybe use this as a life lesson not to ignore all the signs because of your emotion.

 

[canuck_in_uk]

I guess I am another victim of a Cuban marriage fraud. I been with my husband for 3 years. Our relationship was good but there were some signs that I just choose to tag them as immaturity from his side. Otherwise my husband was a very affectionate person, kissing me every minute,hugging me tight all night, never missed a call from me and so on.. After our wedding In Cuba I came back in Canada and started the sponsorship process. I found out that I was pregnant. I had a sit down talk to him explaining him that a baby is not a toy and it's a big responsibility and that maybe we are not ready for a baby yet. He got angry and said now way... he wants the baby. I was happy because deep down inside me I really wanted this baby as well.
I went back to Canada and move to another city where I could save money for our baby because the expenses were to high in an urban city. However because of that choice I was all by my self during my whole pregnancy and even after our daughter was born.
My husband started being very irresponsible, he started asking me for money all the time, he had a gambling problem, not picking up my calls anymore when I needed to talk to him. He even complained that I call him to much when I was calling him because I was in the hospital with our premature daughter. We were fighting alot because his behaviour.
However I still decided to go ahead with the sponsorship with the hope that we can fix our issues once he's here. I went to Cuba with our baby when my baby turned 4 months old and his papers were almost ready. Things were shit there that I got at the point that I almost changed my flight to come back earlier and not wait for his sponsorship. He was arrogant and full of himself he will leave me alone with the baby and his family and go out with his friends. However he convinced me once again not to leave.
He got his papers and his first instinct was to call his friend instead of hugging me and his child. We came in Canada and on the plane he was taking pictures of himself in the plane not including us in the photos.
When we got in Canada the first day he went in Facebook and started talking to lots of people women and men. I saw a message that he send to a woman saying that he will call her when he can because he can't really talk. I decided to put a spyware in my computer to see what he's doing. It only took 12 hours to catch him. He send a message to this woman telling her he loves her very very very much but this woman (me) can get him deported and he will call her once he gets a cellphone.
I confronted him and kicked him out. He left and went to Toronto to some friends house. That was only 3 days after he got in Canada.
It's been a month since he came to Canada and he only came to visit his daughter once for an hour with the excuse that he's working and he doesn't have time. He is playing the victim telling his friends that I am a crazy person because I was emotional and threaten him when I found that message. He is pretending to be a good father to his friends mean while he hasn't spend more than 15 days in total with his daughter who is now 6 months old.
I am now planing to take my daughter and go back to my home country with her. Thanks God I never put him in the birth certificate because deep down inside me I had a feeling this will happen after he put me through what he put me during the pregnancy.
He just called today asking me if I am planing to come back to Canada and I said I don't think so. And he told me he will not sign any paper that allows me to take his daughter away. LOL...I laugh and told him he has no right over her but it's nice to know that he is being selfish again and thinking of himself and choose to see me and his daughter suffering here so he can visit her maybe once a month when he knows that we could have an amazing life in my country as I own properties and business there and I have my family to help.
I don't know what to do... the only person I want to be happy is my daughter. Some of my friends tells me to cut all ties with him and some they tell me to still stay in touch with him because he is the father of my daughter. I honestly think of cutting him out of our lives completely. He is not a good father not a good person to be in my life.

I know, I know... I was an idiot even though my friends warn me to be careful. But I can't change the pass only the future. And most important I want my daughter to be happy and have a great life. I wish I can send him back to his country but now is to late.
Also when I got in the relationship with him I was already living in another country for 8 months but because of him I came back to Canada to sponsor him. Now I am thinking of actually giving up my residency as I am more happy in my country with my family. Would that be possible while I am still responsible for him for 3 years? And is this going to affect his residency? I really hope so.

Have you reported him for marriage fraud?

You should know that his name not being on the birth certificate doesn't give you full rights over the child. Regardless of being named or not, he can go to court to try to prevent you from removing the child from Canada. Given that the child was born while you were married, the court probably wouldn't even order a DNA test unless you lied and said he was not the father.

 

[Otilia3107]

Have you reported him for marriage fraud?

You should know that his name not being on the birth certificate doesn't give you full rights over the child. Regardless of being named or not, he can go to court to try to prevent you from removing the child from Canada. Given that the child was born while you were married, the court probably wouldn't even order a DNA test unless you lied and said he was not the father.

He is actually threatening me now with calling the immigration (and the Interpol LOL) and telling them that I was the one who kicked him out and that I want to take his child away. He was also telling me that he will make up all kind of stories so I look like a bad person. Funny part is that he doesn't want to spend time with her but he wants me to stay here for what? He saw her one time in one month and even that time he showed up at my door with two strangers. He also threaten me with him going on welfare and that I need to support him for 3 years. He was messaging me and from his text messages I figured he was not the one texting.
This is so frustrating. No I haven't reported him because I am afraid that who knows what he can say to get me in trouble or even worst lose my daughter. I was wondering if he orders a DNA test through the court how long that process takes? I know he is working under the table now,, not sure why and he doesn't have much money so this will probably be costing him alot. I doubt he will want to pay.

 

[scylla]

He is actually threatening me now with calling the immigration (and the Interpol LOL) and telling them that I was the one who kicked him out and that I want to take his child away.

There are international child abduction laws in place to prevent children from being moved to another country without both parents' permission. These laws are taken extremely seriously. Interpol is one of the agencies that helps to ensure these laws are followed and they maintain a database of missing / abducted children. If you want to be able to move with your child to another country - I would recommend you start working with a good family lawyer now to obtain sole custody of your child.

 

[Otilia3107]

I do have sole custody of my child and I can travel with her to other country as I am the only caregiver. Like I said he is not in the birth certificate. Doesn't that automatically make me the only caregiver?

 

[scylla]

I do have sole custody of my child and I can travel with her to other country as I am the only caregiver. Like I said he is not in the birth certificate. Doesn't that automatically make me the only caregiver?

Do you have legal sole custody? Has sole custody been awarded to you by a court?

 

[Otilia3107]

Do you have legal sole custody? Has sole custody been awarded to you by a court?

No but my husband was never in the birth certificate. And even in the long form certificate its mention that I am the only caregiver and parent. Is that not the same thing?

 

[scylla]

No but my husband was never in the birth certificate. And even in the long form certificate its mention that I am the only caregiver and parent. Is that not the same thing?

Sorry - I don't know. I would check with a family lawyer before attempting to leave the country.

 

[Wonderland_1010]

No but my husband was never in the birth certificate. And even in the long form certificate its mention that I am the only caregiver and parent. Is that not the same thing?

Legally, since you are both married before the child is born, he has rights to his child. I assume that you haven't filed for divorce which means he can go to court and file for custody regardless whether his name is not on the birth certificate because technically he is the assumed father since you are still married. I suggest you go see a family lawyer and discuss whether you can gain sole custody.

Have you applied for a passport for your daughter? The father has to sign the application form as well before they can issue a passport.

 

[IPreferCats]

Did you record the messages he sent on your computer? I imagine that would help you prove fraud and if you take him to divorce court, that might help. I would definitely talk to a family lawyer before leaving. He's not doing this because he wants his daughter, he's doing this to control you (textbook abusive behavior). If you have evidence for everything you're saying, you will likely be fine, but it will take time. Don't rush, dot your i's and cross your t's.I'm very sorry, it sounds tiring and traumatic. If everything works out, I would absolutely cut him 100% out of your daughter's life. It is much better for her she not be exposed to such toxic behavior.

 

[Fabiog]

hi,
you lived 3 years with him in cuba?
why did you have to sponsor him to go to canada and not stay in cuba did he ask you that he wanted to live in canada?