I need some help and support

[lena2010]

Hello,
I'm new here.
Here's my story.
I'm 40 year old male. I'm from Bosnia. I was just reviosuky married and have 7 year old daughter. The nature of my job was that I traveled a lot and did not spend a lot of time at home. Marriage to my previous wife was just so I can make everybody in my family happy. I love my child, but me and my ex wife have never been a happy married couple. I came to Canada 3.5 years ago with the work permit, which once expired but I extended it. During this whole time I've been living with a gentlemen. Feelings developed and we started a relationship. I always knew I was attracted to men, but since the pressure on hay people, in my country is huge, I always hid it. Being in Canada gave me the new lease on life and for the first time I can finally be who I want to be. Me and my partner got married, after couple of years living together. I've gotten the invitation to attend the interview and now I'm scared. Here are the issues:
-Husband 15 years older (I've heard that's a red flag). We're the same nationality, which is not too fond of gray people.
-I'm worried that even though, VOs should be professional and unbiased that we will be judged for our sexual orientation.
-children from his previous marriage know (we have pictures together), my family does not know.
This is what I was asked to provide for the inreview.

[ X ] Your passport.
Got that. I also got work permit and single entry visa, which I would like to extend to come back to Canada as soon as possible. Is that possible to do?



[ X ] Proof of ongoing communication and contact with your sponsor since time of application submission.
I live with my husband, so I'm not sure how does this apply to me.



[ X ] Proof that you and your sponsor visited each other.
We live together. Should I just bring photos? If so, how many is enough.



[ X ] Any photos demonstrating the existence of a conjugal relationship.
What kind of photos should I bring? I mean how do you prove conjugal relationship trough photos.



[ X ] Any evidence of financial interdependence.
Joint lease
Same Adress on documents
We do not have a joint account, we just never thought of that even though we are paying for everything together. For ex. I pay the rent and some of the bills, he pays for the food, our cell phones and such. How do we prove this?



[ X ] Evidence of cohabitation with your sponsor as leases, joint property ownership, etc.
Joint lease agreement.

What other things should I bring to my interview?
Can you help me out.
I'm getting anxious.

 

[canuck_in_uk]

-Husband 15 years older (I've heard that's a red flag). We're the same nationality, which is not too fond of gray people.
-I'm worried that even though, VOs should be professional and unbiased that we will be judged for our sexual orientation.
-children from his previous marriage know (we have pictures together), my family does not know.

I live with my husband, so I'm not sure how does this apply to me.

[ X ] Any photos demonstrating the existence of a conjugal relationship.
What kind of photos should I bring? I mean how do you prove conjugal relationship trough photos.

We do not have a joint account, we just never thought of that even though we are paying for everything together. For ex. I pay the rent and some of the bills, he pays for the food, our cell phones and such. How do we prove this?

Hi

Age difference is only a red flag in certain circumstances. For a male-male relationship where both are living in Canada, I don't believe that such an age difference will be an issue.

You will not be judged for your sexual orientation.

The fact that your family doesn't know is simple to explain given the attitudes towards homosexuals in Bosnia.

It is a generic letter, so not all of the evidence requested will apply to your situation.

For the photos, you want to include your wedding, hanging out with family/friends (especially the ones with his kids), any events/trips and anything just showing you guys living your normal life together. There is no limit, so honestly, I would take tons. Organize them in Word and put multiple pics on each page; it is easier for the VO to look at 10 pages with 80 pics than to look through 80 individual pics.

For the financials, show your individual bank statements highlighting which bills you each pay for.


Where is the interview? Did you apply inland or outland?

 

[lena2010]

Thank you so much for replying, I already thought I was being judged because of my story.
It is Vienna office, I live in Canada but we applied outland.
Do I have to bring my wedding photos even though I already sent them with my application?
What other proof can I bring as proof of conjugal relationship?
Should I being procure of presents that we bought each other? I've read it somewhere that this is a good ideal, although sounds silly to me.
Should I get some friend to write a letter saying that the relationship is genuine?
I just want to be prepared.
Thank you so much for your reply

 

[trikiliki]

Why conjugal if you are married?

 

[canuck_in_uk]

Do I have to bring my wedding photos even though I already sent them with my application?
What other proof can I bring as proof of conjugal relationship?
Should I being procure of presents that we bought each other? I've read it somewhere that this is a good ideal, although sounds silly to me.
Should I get some friend to write a letter saying that the relationship is genuine?

Yes, I would take some wedding photos even though you sent them.

All of the other proofs you are submitting for cohabitation are also good conjugal proofs, as they show your life together. You could also include calls/texts, social media stuff showing you are in a relationship, letters from family/friends, things like insurance policies/benefits/investments naming each other as beneficiary etc. I don't really consider proof of presents as concrete proof but if you feel better including it, then do so.

 

[canuck_in_uk]

Why conjugal if you are married?

It isn't a conjugal app. IRCC is requesting proof of a conjugal relationship, i.e. proof that they are in a genuine romantic relationship.

 

[trikiliki]

Ah, ok got ya

 

[lena2010]

First of all, thanks for the info.
I still have couple of questions.
Me and my husband live together, so we don't have elaborate conversations on the phone every day. It's just a normal marriage, we call each other when somebody needs to pick up something from the store or similar things like that. I would say we don't talk more than 4-5 times a week on the phone. I mean, nobody advised me to save everything and elanything from our daily life to prove our marriage is genuine. I obviously delt with really bad advisor and now I'm freaking out.
We usually go to the close by city to spend time with our friends, rare ones from the same community who support us, and we usually rent a hotel room. If I found hotel bills, would that be a good proof?

 

[81jim]

First of all, thanks for the info.
I still have couple of questions.
Me and my husband live together, so we don't have elaborate conversations on the phone every day. It's just a normal marriage, we call each other when somebody needs to pick up something from the store or similar things like that. I would say we don't talk more than 4-5 times a week on the phone. I mean, nobody advised me to save everything and elanything from our daily life to prove our marriage is genuine. I obviously delt with really bad advisor and now I'm freaking out.
We usually go to the close by city to spend time with our friends, rare ones from the same community who support us, and we usually rent a hotel room. If I found hotel bills, would that be a good proof?

If you explain it to your interviewer like you explain it to us, I think you'll be fine. Hotel bookings and that sort of thing can be useful to show that you've taken holidays together, my wife and I sent a lot of information (flights, hotels, pictures, etc.) for our holidays. Also, talking 4-5 times per week on the phone is more than ample, if you want to show them your recent phone records, that would be a good idea.

Hope it all goes well for you.

 

[canuck_in_uk]

First of all, thanks for the info.
I still have couple of questions.
Me and my husband live together, so we don't have elaborate conversations on the phone every day. It's just a normal marriage, we call each other when somebody needs to pick up something from the store or similar things like that. I would say we don't talk more than 4-5 times a week on the phone. I mean, nobody advised me to save everything and elanything from our daily life to prove our marriage is genuine. I obviously delt with really bad advisor and now I'm freaking out.
We usually go to the close by city to spend time with our friends, rare ones from the same community who support us, and we usually rent a hotel room. If I found hotel bills, would that be a good proof?

You need to relax. Freaking out is just going to make this more difficult.

Show what you have. Most people who live together don't talk on the phone very much; 4-5 times a week is probably more than most.

Yes, the hotel bills would be another good proof.

If you have enough time before your interview, you can request your GCMS notes. It takes 30 days to get the notes.

 

[lena2010]

It's on May 10TH, so I don't have time
It's not that I'm freaking out, I'm pretty mellow kinda guy. I think that it will ok. It's my husband who is freaking out. I mean, it's nerve wrecking when your whole life hangs by a thread, but it has to be ok.

 

[browning911]

You are going to be fine. Just answer as best as you can. I do not want to be crude but I have heard that sometimes they ask questions about sex. They also ask questions about activities of daily living (what side of bed you sleep on? What time partner come home from work etc.)

Do you have joint telephone bills, joint insurance, joint bank account.

Thinking good thoughts for you.

 

[lena2010]

Oh, thanks.
I kinda need good thoughts, my husband is making me crazy.
We do not have any joint bills, we have lived in the same house for three and a half years now. We are renting it from a friend that we know. All of the bills that we are getting are in that guy's name. I never thought that we have to change that. Thinking back, we could have done a billion things to make our case stronger, we just did not think of it, we didn't have anybody to advise us. All of those things were easy to do and now it's to late for that. I guess I will just bring what I have for ex joint lease, our mail addressed to the same address, our id's addressed to the same address, photos, mails of friends, phone bills stating that we call each other as any other couple who lives together calls. I will include letter from some friends supportive of our marriage, hotel bills from when we are visiting those friends. I know everything about him, so I'm not worried about questions, I'm just worried that our case sounds weird and that the supportive documents are not enough. I even told my parents about the whole situation, which was another added stress. So, right now I pretty much only have him and couple of friends that are supportive. And now that I have said it this way, it makes me a bit nervous.