How do you occupy your mind and time?

[Love_Young]

We just sent off our application today and because I have been thinking and doing nothing else but that application for 10 months now, I honestly don't know what else to do with my time or how to think of something else.

Just want to know, how do some of you guys do it and anything you can recommend? 8)

 

[nyssa]

My husband and I have been seperated since May 5, 2009. We used to live together for 2 years... so it was really, really hard, especially because we had hope he'd be able to return to the US. I live with my parents and work at my old job and have all my friends and grew up here... that's how I get by!

I just live day to day and keep looking forward to when we can be together again.

 

[iarblue]

Honestly i dont think there is anything that will take your mind off it until it is done.Even when i do things such as work go out with friends i always catch myself thinking about what if.....Did i do it right whats the hold up why it has not changed this process will eat the best of us up.
And i think it is worse when they ask your for more things.You beat yourself up thinking how stupid it was not to include it in the first place.But just keep telling yourself and your spouse that your on the downhill now and it will come to an end.One day you will be with eachother from that day on and it can only get better.Look to the future make future plans i think it helps.

 

[Love_Young]

Aww nyssa I am so sorry you have been away from your husband that long.
I believe it won't be too long after you submit your application that you will be coming to Canada for a permanent stay.


Aww and thank you so very much iarblue, that is very inspiring. I actually smiled thinking of knowing that it we are already closer to being together than before.

 

[iarblue]

I met my wife 2 years ago i went to Brazil last year and married her stayed for 5 weeks a year later went back for our anniversary stayed another 5 weeks but that sit in 2 years she has never been here because she could not get a visit visa which is not uncommon.
So thats what we do just keep thinking about when she will be here all the great moments we will have

 

[thaihubbie]

I think I drive people crazy because I often bring up my family's situation in conversation and people just don't know what to say.They feel sorry for us, they feel awkward, they feel confused. More often than not they can't believe or understand why my husband was refused a visitor's visa twice. Then I see this odd look come upon their face 'why'? and they start to assume that he has done something wrong or something is strange about our relationship . Even some of my relatives in Canada cannot understand why he has been refused. They assume he might be a dodgy guy or something, it's so unfair because he isn't!!! He's the most honest, kind, simple person I have ever known and this whole process has made him out to be some sort of untrustworthy person. It's hard not to think about it or to constantly worry, it's all I do. We just have to be strong and let things take their course. I'm so lucky that I met him and that we have the most daughter in the world.

 

[bobshynoswife]

I've decided to use this time to lose some weight and get healthy so I am in good shape to start a family with my husband when he arrives. I started 10 days after mailing our application, and am already down 35lbs. I'm also going to get started on our wedding album (I'm a scrapbooker) and also using the time to declutter the house, have a garage sale, clean and organize so we'll be ready for him to move in! I can't wait!

Along the lines of what iarblue said, I also think every night when I am going to bed that another day has passed. I try not to think about it as 'another day has passed without my husband' I try to think 'I am one more day closer to being with him'

 

[kalew2010]

i spend a lot of time talking to my husband but ive also decided to train for a 1/2 marathon in november...will keep me busy for a bit. ive also made a list of books id like to read. at least there is a ton of stuff happening over the summer
we can get through this

 

[kalew2010]

by talking i mean on the phone and skype, but also ive been reading quite a bit on this forum to prepare me for what to expect!

 

[bobshynoswife]

I think I drive people crazy because I often bring up my family's situation in conversation and people just don't know what to say.They feel sorry for us, they feel awkward, they feel confused. More often than not they can't believe or understand why my husband was refused a visitor's visa twice. Then I see this odd look come upon their face 'why'? and they start to assume that he has done something wrong or something is strange about our relationship . Even some of my relatives in Canada cannot understand why he has been refused. They assume he might be a dodgy guy or something, it's so unfair because he isn't!!! He's the most honest, kind, simple person I have ever known and this whole process has made him out to be some sort of untrustworthy person. It's hard not to think about it or to constantly worry, it's all I do. We just have to be strong and let things take their course. I'm so lucky that I met him and that we have the most daughter in the world.

I know how that feels. My family also thought (maybe thinks?) that something is wrong with my husband because he cannot get a visitor's visa. Before I met him, I didn't even know people needed visas to visit Canada! I just assumed everyone in the world was free to travel and vacation where they'd like. My mom said "Canada doesn't want him!" ... I was crushed, because her daughter certainly does.

 

[Love_Young]

Oh wow bobshynowife. That is truly AMAZING and congrats. Have any tips to share?
It is amazing the amount of weight of have gained since I started to put together the application. I am sure the hubby would love if I slimmed down a bit.

And I haven't ever made a scrapbook but that sounds like a really good idea. I too am looking into cleaning the house and organizing a bit more. I can finally move that printer and immigration stuff that has been taking up the floor space.

 

[Veronica55]

Dear Love Young,

Lots of things to do while waiting for visa ..
Work harder , if you are employed or have ajob ..
Otherwise .. we may prepare for our arrival in Canada -- learn how to cook, study another language ..
while still in your own country .. spend more time to be with your friends , family --- go out with them, eat your favorite dishes ,
some exercises to stay fit and sexier hehehe .. so when you be with your love , you will be more beautiful --
Start to sort your things at home.. what and what not to bring with you when you leave for Canada --
Read things about the country , blogs, magazines .. so you will have better idea of people & things there ..
Good luck , smile and relax , get a good massage..

 

[GTWifey]

This is a great thread!

Well, our last long distance bill was shameful! :-[ So, this is the first week we are depending ONLY on online communication. We also send surprise letters & cards in the mail. (This helps us to relieve some of the anxiety while checking for that letter to arrive from CIC). I have also found that daily excercise, time out with friends & family, & this forum to be quite helpful!!!

Good Luck Everyone!

 

[galmxcan]

Hi all
Well I was (still am) in the same situation...what to do with my self after all those months working 24/7 on the application??

Im not currently working, I tried to get a job but wasnt easy and working on application consumed all my time and energy. I also wanted to improve my French and take some cooking lessons but havent get enough energy to do it either, Im always hoping and thinking "maybe I will be able to go to Canada next month, I cannot commit to take a course or job"...but that next month hasnt come yet, days keep passing by and I havent done much lately. :-[

Im only excersising at the GYM for now, taking a Body Combat class (its such a great class) and also Pilates.
Havent loose much weight yet...

I confess that I´ve been avoiding going out so that I dont run into people (friends,relatives,etc) because it has turn very annoying and painful when they say "OHH you are still here??!!! or When are you leaving to Canada??, Why are you still here??" and things like that...Im tired of trying to explain the situation, that is not that simple. It makes me very sad.

Today, July 14 is my birthday, it reminds me that just a year ago I was in Canada and my then boyfriend (now husband) proposed to me that night, it was a great Bday. This year I get to spend it with my family and I will try to enjoy it as Im trying to enjoy every single day I have here with them.

Anyways, I just wanna say that I really like this forum because it has been very helpful and also because it definitely made me realized that Im not the only one going through this painful situation...that Im not alone, and I really wish everyone to have a happy ending with your applications, to be soon reunited with your husband/wife/partner/family and have a succesful life in Canada.

Best of luck everyone!!

 

[nyssa]

love_young, your comment was wonderful, you give me so much hope!

I confess that I´ve been avoiding going out so that I dont run into people (friends,relatives,etc) because it has turn very annoying and painful when they say "OHH you are still here??!!! or When are you leaving to Canada??, Why are you still here??" and things like that...Im tired of trying to explain the situation, that is not that simple. It makes me very sad.

galmxcan - I understand so very very much this statement. I live and work in a smaller-town area and everyone, all the time... friends, family, strangers "when are you moving to canada?" "i don't know yet... waiting for things." it is sad to bring it up and have to explain it over and over and re-live the hurt. i'm so sorry... this forum really is a gift. a place to go when you're tired of hearing those questions and feeling alone. i wish you and everyone nothing but the best.