Frustrated? Miss your spouse? Vent Here!!

[ovasquez1]

My husband and I are soo grateful to have found this forum. It has helped us soo much and has answered lots of our questions. And I admire all the people on here who have been so helpful and those who have waited soo long for there loved ones, its inspirational.

My husband and I have dated for 3 years, married for 6 months now. I visit him every few months for a two months and return to the US. I keep telling myself: I'm just lucky I have such a flexible job. In the beginning both of us wonder if we would last, the distance was soo far. Now here we are, married. The time I spend with my husband goes by soo quickly though, it feels like I blink and its over. Before I know it, I have to leave again and go back to work. When we are apart, my husband and I text, call, fb each other constantly, before work, during our lunch breaks and after work, hundreds of texts a day, hours on the phone. When we do argue, being so far apart everything that happens feels intensified or over dramatized. At first it hurts soo much to be apart but I throw myself into my work, and it distracts for a little while but as the months pass we both grow anxious to see each other. Then there are some days when I come home from work, tired or upset and I just miss my husband and wish he was there with me. Usually he can tell when I'm upset, then texts or calls me and he makes me laugh. We make plans to see each other and what we will do together. We talk about our worries, problems, our finances. Then when I do see him, its like a breathe of fresh air or a drink of cold water. But in the short time we spend together we get so attached as a couple: holding hands, making decisions together, taking care of one another, and doing everything together. We become ridiculously dependent on one another. Then time catches up with us I have to fly back and become miss independent again. And the cycle repeats itself again. But in the end, I tell my self it's all worth it, I'm glad I met my husband and I love him soo much ...I just keep telling myself...I'm lucky because my job is flexible, and I can see my husband every couple of months and communicate with him even though we are far away and that some couples have faced harder circumstances...

 

[Hasan9999]

My husband and I are soo grateful to have found this forum. It has helped us soo much and has answered lots of our questions. And I admire all the people on here who have been so helpful and those who have waited soo long for there loved ones, its inspirational.

My husband and I have dated for 3 years, married for 6 months now. I visit him every few months for a two months and return to the US. I keep telling myself: I'm just lucky I have such a flexible job. In the beginning both of us wonder if we would last, the distance was soo far. Now here we are, married. The time I spend with my husband goes by soo quickly though, it feels like I blink and its over. Before I know it, I have to leave again and go back to work. When we are apart, my husband and I text, call, fb each other constantly, before work, during our lunch breaks and after work, hundreds of texts a day, hours on the phone. When we do argue, being so far apart everything that happens feels intensified or over dramatized. At first it hurts soo much to be apart but I throw myself into my work, and it distracts for a little while but as the months pass we both grow anxious to see each other. Then there are some days when I come home from work, tired or upset and I just miss my husband and wish he was there with me. Usually he can tell when I'm upset, then texts or calls me and he makes me laugh. We make plans to see each other and what we will do together. We talk about our worries, problems, our finances. Then when I do see him, its like a breathe of fresh air or a drink of cold water. But in the short time we spend together we get so attached as a couple: holding hands, making decisions together, taking care of one another, and doing everything together. We become ridiculously dependent on one another. Then time catches up with us I have to fly back and become miss independent again. And the cycle repeats itself again. But in the end, I tell my self it's all worth it, I'm glad I met my husband and I love him soo much ...I just keep telling myself...I'm lucky because my job is flexible, and I can see my husband every couple of months and communicate with him even though we are far away and that some couples have faced harder circumstances...

Thank you for sharing. Really wonderful. At least you are lucky to see each other whenever you wish. I saw my wife and children last time when I was in Canada early last year, almost 14 months. I miss them all the time. Unfortunately I can't visit them any more as my TRV refused pending spousal sponsorship application.

 

[ilovepvr]

I'm glad I found this thread...I really need to vent!!

I just got back from a week in Mexico with my Husband....Its soooo much harder for a few weeks after spending time together. I find myself crying alot and getting irritated at everything! I just wanna be with him and sleep next to him and laugh and joke around and just be together *crying while typing this*
I haven't even started the whole process yet because we are still trying to get fingerprints done for the FBI check so we can apply for the criminal rehabilitation. I really want kids....but I dont want to have them without him here because I dont have support from family because I married outside my culture so I'd be alone and I keep getting all anxious and worried that it will take soooo long to get him here and it will be too late and I'll be too old to have kids....I know it sounds ridiculous considering Im almost 29 and I am not that old yet. lol.

Anyways. I just hope we can figure out this fingerprint crap soon....the reason its taking long is beacuse can't get the right fingerprints for the damn fbi.

I wish all of you the best and hope your husband or wife is with you soon so you may begin your lives together. I pray for you all and please wish me luck.

Sending Blessings your way

 

[DanOCan]

I guess I'm more anxious than frustrated. We knew it would be a long process. We thought we were so close back in the middle of May when I was asked to pay the RPRF but since then it's been complete silence from CIC. No change of status on ECAS, still just stuck at "Application Recieved". Every day we wake up and sent texts back and forth to each other saying "Maybe today?"

Having our lives stuck on hold is a bit frustrating though. We have so many plans for our future, including kids. We know we're racing against the biological clock. We just want to be together so we can finally drop the "long distance" qualifier from our relationship. We want to be able to go out to dinner together, to see a movie together, to have friends over to our house...do all those things that "normal" couples do. We're sick and tired of doing interesting things on our own and only being able to describe the experience to each other over Skype.

I want to come home and hug my wife. We've been a long distance couple for two years now and been working on immigration since September. We've spent thousands of dollars flying back and forth to see each other as often as possible, but we've had to reduce those visits because we really hope we're going to need that money to finally move her here to be with me. I'll get to see her in 15 days when she comes for her next visit, but we know that our time together will pass too quickly and then we're back to the heartache of being long distance again.

We've talked about all the possibilities. We simply can't afford to have her move here as a visitor while we wait, at least not if we're going to maintain her real ties to the US. She can't take a leave of absence and I couldn't afford to pay for her apartment there as well as our house here.

Every day...wake up...maybe today? Maybe today is the day someone who's name we'll never know, who's face we'll never see...maybe today that someone will get our file, review the documents we've submitted, and finally say "Yes, you can start your lives together now." Our future hangs in the balance, waiting for someone to finally say Yes.

We have endured, we have laughed, we have cried. All from far apart. Your cell phone is your constant companion because it is your only lifeline to the person you love. It brings you their joy when something good happens, it is your only means to comfort when things go wrong.

Maybe today? Maybe today?

 

[ilovepvr]

Every day...wake up...maybe today? Maybe today is the day someone who's name we'll never know, who's face we'll never see...maybe today that someone will get our file, review the documents we've submitted, and finally say "Yes, you can start your lives together now." Our future hangs in the balance, waiting for someone to finally say Yes.

We have endured, we have laughed, we have cried. All from far apart. Your cell phone is your constant companion because it is your only lifeline to the person you love. It brings you their joy when something good happens, it is your only means to comfort when things go wrong.

Maybe today? Maybe today?

damn that was kinda poetic. made me cry...*sigh*

Dont worry my friend stay positive. It will all work out!

 

[gsize]

Now imagine my case, married now for 18 years and 4 months. Lived abroad until two years ago when me and my two sons came up to Canada to settle and then bring wife and daughter. All 3 kids and me Canadian, wife Mexican. Last year tried to bring wife here for a couple of months to visit and then apply for PR. Visitor visa refused. Started PR process in November. Sent Sponsorship Dec, got approved Jan. Everything being processed for months and no answer. So we have been separated for 2 years already.
This is not fun at all! And then with the good luck of having a strike in the middle. I think, for those who have everything in the final stage, they should at least give the spouse a special permit to travel and wait for PR in Canada.
I understand each and one of you. This is so terrible, stressful and fustrating. I hope they go back to work soon. So many families apart.
Good luck to all of you.

how about 5 years apart from my Mexican guy. He is here now with me ! ----YES- 5 years ! I hope you are all approved first time around !!

 

[madam-m]

Well DanOcan,

u r just on beginning of the road,and only one month expired. It is to early you to ask each other "is it today is that day". Forget about that,and after 10months start to ask.Don't count on their empathy.

good lack,stay calm. 8)

 

[ilovepvr]

gsize...may i ask why you were declined your application first time?

Just wondering because I am beginning process for my mexican husband and it seems like its going to take forever too...so just want to to know

 

[rhcohen2014]

Anyways. I just hope we can figure out this fingerprint crap soon....the reason its taking long is beacuse can't get the right fingerprints for the damn fbi.

what do you mean can't get the "right fingerprints for the fbi"? This part was seemingly one of the easiest parts to do. are you not able to find a technician to do them correctly? Have a local police department to go to do them? Do you not know how to download the fingerprint card? It's not necessary to have a technician do it, you can do it yourself by following the directions on the FBI website. It may not be recommended, though it is an option.

 

[nurse_85]

This has been the hardest and most frustrating process we have had to endure. My biggest frustration is how inconsistent the visa offices are. When I see applications filed 4 months after ours already approved and some peoples medicals extended for a year and then today we get an email asking for
Medicals to be redone!

I miss my husband so much and living in limbo
Waiting for him to get here is tough.

It's nice to read others stories as not to feel like no one else underst ands

God bless

 

[ilovepvr]

The reason the fingerprints are taking long is because....its hard to find a place who will do them in the area my husband lives in mexico...Police station won't do em. He went to another place and they laminated the page the fingerprints were done on. The FBI wont accept it because its laminated. The agency won't release prints without the lamination stating that they can be altered... ??? Tried doing them ourself and the ink was all runny and didn't turn out right. So we going to try again. *sigh*

 

[rhcohen2014]

The reason the fingerprints are taking long is because....its hard to find a place who will do them in the area my husband lives in mexico...Police station won't do em. He went to another place and they laminated the page the fingerprints were done on. The FBI wont accept it because its laminated. The agency won't release prints without the lamination stating that they can be altered... ??? Tried doing them ourself and the ink was all runny and didn't turn out right. So we going to try again. *sigh*

can he take a trip to the US and get them done there at an agency?

 

[gsize]

gsize...may i ask why you were declined your application first time?

Just wondering because I am beginning process for my mexican husband and it seems like its going to take forever too...so just want to to know

reason for denial- " not genuine'

I guess they knew more than us ! Try to think positive. I know its difficult !!!!! 8)

 

[ilovepvr]

pffft....
gsize- I'm glad you two are finally together.

And yes I must stay positive!!!!
pew pew pewwwww negatives thoughts-take that! LOL

And rhcohen....its not easy for mexicans to go to USA on a trip. lol usually they have to run across the border and hope for the best lol