Forwarding "Stupid Questions about Canada" - Let's have a laugh!

[shakira2009]

Hi there,
I thought of posting this forwarded text to make everyone laugh a little bit while waiting for notifications, answers, etc.

Enjoy!

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Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!) Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of like a big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

 

[Baloo]

Try these myths, the best being :

"We live in igloos"




http://www.canadians.ca/top_ten_myths.htm

 

[theshivster]

OMG they are funny! Its like people thinking that because I am Irish I have to have ginger hair and 20 children

 

[Leon]

OMG they are funny! Its like people thinking that because I am Irish I have to have ginger hair and 20 children

You mean you don't?

 

[theshivster]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Good one Leon ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

 

[toby]

OMG they are funny! Its like people thinking that because I am Irish I have to have ginger hair and 20 children

Really?! You don't?

 

[itscoezy]

LOL those are hilarious! Thanks for the laugh

 

[newtone]

Americans as usual will top the list for asking the most dumbest questions. I like it

 

[Baloo]

I was recently asked (by an American) if the mounties (RCMP) were sponsored by Scotia bank !
The logic (??) was apparently linked to the colour of their dress uniforms.

FWIW the colour of the Ceremonial Guard uniforms is different to the RCMP uniforms, but "back in the day" the RCMP did copy the style of the guard uniforms so they would look more like the army.

http://www.army.forces.gc.ca/land-terre/cg-gc/guard-garde-eng.asp

Also, the prime minister of Canada should not be saluted by Guardsmen, as he is not the commander in chief; That role rests with the Governor General of Canada.

 

[newtone]

I think we should ask dumb questions too, just to level out the playing field.

1) Isn't New Mexico part of Mexico?

2) In Kentucky do they eat a lot of fried chicken?

3) Does it snow in North Carolina because its North?

4) Connecticut? What are they cutting and what are they connecting? I am assuming plumbers come from there

5) Do they have real Draculas Pennsylvania? Do they really suck blood? Is it safe to walk the streets after sunset?

6) Is Arizona part of Saudi Arabia how come there is so much desert? Are cars available? or do they use camels for modes of transportation?

7) Are cars available in Texas or people mostly use horses? Will I be considered as a good guy if I wear a cowboy hat?

 

[Kaap]

ha ha. nice

 

[Canalian]

I'm an Aussie and I have to say the dumbest question I've ever been asked was "Do kangaroos really go "boing" when they jump?"
Seems kids cartoons have a bigger impact on us than we thought!

 

[newtone]

I can beat that one

"Do Kangaroos speak with an Australian accent?"