Dont wish to sponser spouse from pakistan: in big trouble : HELP !

[canvis2006]

Cancelling sponsorship is very easy. Just call CIC up and tell them you want to cancel sponsorship.

there is no sponsorship until she after she mails the forms.

She is still in the process of filling the forms as per her parents.

Calling CIC is useless....

 

[canuck_in_uk]

2) Cancel the sponsorship, wait for some time, call them and say that they don't find it genuine and its been rejected

You can withdraw sponsorship & tell CIC ONLY to contact you about the matter. You can later tell your family that CIC has refused to issue the visa because they don't think the relationship was real and out of free will.

And all the husband needs to do is have a Canadian citizen or PR apply for GCMS notes on his behalf, which will clearly state that the sponsor said the relationship wasn't genuine or that the sponsor withdrew the app.

 

[steerpike]

I am hoping this was a joke? Forcing society's taxpayers to give the OP money just so her parents don't get mad at her is ridiculous.

It will cost society more if she sponsors him for a PR. A few months of welfare is pretty minimal. Anyway, i'm just giving solutions without moral judgements.

 

[waiting110]

It's cases like this, no wonder why Pakistan has the world's longest processing time and the strict requirement of "All documents must be originals, no photocopies". I don't know if it's because Pakistan is a truly horrible country to live in and everyone wants to get out by any means, whether applying as refugee, or marriage fraud, or creating fraudulent documents.

its people like her who are so coward to say no to their parents ..even the genuine marriages end up suffering. but all is better now since London is processing our spousal cases and the timeline is going to get better!

 

[canvis2006]

Why is everyone telling her to cancel sponsorship when she hasn't even filed anything yet ? Did anyone even read her first post ??

I think this girl should just divorce him in Pakistan so the guy can move on, it's been a 1 yr already since they got married.....

 

[fizz1234]

Why is everyone telling her to cancel sponsorship when she hasn't even filed anything yet ? Did anyone even read her first post ??

I think this girl should just divorce him in Pakistan so the guy can move on, it's been a 1 yr already since they got married.....

If only people would read before replying buddy.

 

[SenoritaBella]

My dear, I know something about the need to please/obey your parents but I don't believe in blindly doing everything they ask. They believe(rightly or wrongly) they know what's best for you and they have chosen to ignore/dismiss your concerns about this marriage. The question is, will you ignore/dismiss your own concerns too? It does not sound like you want to do that.

If you do not see a future with this man, there is no need to go through sponsorship, even if it is a terribly put application. You may think it is easier that way, but if you do what you are planning, you will just be prolonging the inevitable and your stress levels will be high. You could also jeopardise your chances of sponsoring a man you truly love later on.

As for your parents, are they here in Canada or Pakistan? If they are in Canada, have you thought about moving out and living on your own? Distance can be helpful in such situations. If they are in Pakistan, have you considered limiting your phone calls/emails with them? It's very important to communicate with your parents, tell them truthfully where you stand, what you would like from them, and what you would have no choice but to do if they continue the behavior.

I can tell you from experience, no amount of doing everything they want will establish the necessary boundaries or make them respect you/your feelings. You need to stand up for yourself in a respectful yet firm manner. Create those boundaries, re-enforce them each time and maintain them. If you don't do that, they will also decide when you can begin having children and how many you should have.

Unfortunately, you have already gone a step further by marrying someone you do not want to be with. But it's not too late to turn things around.

It is time my dear, to think carefully, take a stand and decide once and for all what you will do. Once you decide, also make a choice to not change your decision, no matter what. Once your parents realise none of the pressure is working, they will decide to leave you alone and accept things as they are.

About honor, I do not understand the concept per se. Everyday, we(humans) dishonor God/Allah/Buddha etc through our wrongdoings, yet God forgives us each time we repent and ask for His mercy. Who then are we(humans) to demand other humans to "honor" us(family) and even think we are in any position to punish them person? How about your parents allow you to discuss this "honor" business with your God? I'm sorry you are going through this, but I hope this helps you.

So, i got nikkafied in pakistan in May 2013 Last year, there was no ruksati done and I left 2 days after the nikkah, we didnt get to spend any time. Although there was no ruksati done, we did portray a ruksati for immigration purposes, by having a big reception with lots of people and showed ruksati ceremony at the end and taking to thier house, there are lots of pictures BUT its been a year and I havent done the forms yet because I do NOT wish to apply for my husband. Its a messed up story, it happened quick due to family pressure and I dont like him. I dont know what to do now. I cant get out of it just like that because parents wont listen and are making me fill out the forms. My only option now is to somehow get this visa rejected. How do i do that? What are my options and how can i get out of this? please give suggestions !

 

[user828]

Why is everyone telling her to cancel sponsorship when she hasn't even filed anything yet ? Did anyone even read her first post ??

I think this girl should just divorce him in Pakistan so the guy can move on, it's been a 1 yr already since they got married.....

You are so right, hard as it is to understand the multiple stages of this ceremony - I assumed this was already done when I read "potrayed" and "showed".

Edited my previous post

So, i got nikkafied in pakistan in May 2013 Last year, there was no ruksati done and I left 2 days after the nikkah, we didnt get to spend any time. Although there was no ruksati done, we did portray a ruksati for immigration purposes, by having a big reception with lots of people and showed ruksati ceremony at the end and taking to thier house, there are lots of pictures BUT its been a year and I havent done the forms yet because I do NOT wish to apply for my husband. Its a messed up story, it happened quick due to family pressure and I dont like him. I dont know what to do now. I cant get out of it just like that because parents wont listen and are making me fill out the forms. My only option now is to somehow get this visa rejected. How do i do that? What are my options and how can i get out of this? please give suggestions !

 

[NOC4131]

What do you mean by it was all for pr?

Dont response VO within the specific or given time,your case will be refuse if yr docs would not be submitted in the given time period.

 

[basketballfan]

I would think that it's not that easy to restore a family's honour - we are talking about Pakistan where honour killings are accepted. Also, if her family is in Pakistan and she received a dowry it could be seen more like a transaction gone wrong, I would assume, and perhaps her family could be at risk for any fall out. She may also be at risk if she returns to Pakistan. Explaining the situation and having his family move on and maybe her family may disown her, that may actually be a good outcome given the situation around honour. I do not think that getting the application rejected purposely is the way to go. She'll find herself in a web of lies and may jeopardize her ability to sponsor others in future. I do think she should at some point try to talk to her husband, not about her intentions, but just to get to know him better.

 

[fizz1234]

I would think that it's not that easy to restore a family's honour - we are talking about Pakistan where honour killings are accepted. Also, if her family is in Pakistan and she received a dowry it could be seen more like a transaction gone wrong, I would assume, and perhaps her family could be at risk for any fall out. She may also be at risk if she returns to Pakistan. Explaining the situation and having his family move on and maybe her family may disown her, that may actually be a good outcome given the situation around honour. I do not think that getting the application rejected purposely is the way to go. She'll find herself in a web of lies and may jeopardize her ability to sponsor others in future. I do think she should at some point try to talk to her husband, not about her intentions, but just to get to know him better.

Honor killings are not accepted in Pakistan same as any other country in the world.
The bride does not get dowry, it is the other way round.

 

[angelbrat]

You live in Canada not Pakistan, you are a Canadian. Therefore, why does it matter what anyone thinks in Pakistan?

I really get confused about this, why come to another Country and yet act like you still live in your native Country?

Just tell your parents you are Canadian and you do not like your husband. If they truly are part of Canadian society they will understand, otherwise they should go back to Pakistan.

 

[user828]

Honor killings are not accepted in Pakistan same as any other country in the world.
The bride does not get dowry, it is the other way round.

Isn't this true

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahr

In Islam, a mahr (in Arabic: مهر‎; also transliterated mehr, meher, or mahrieh) is a mandatory payment, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, or by groom's father, to the bride at the time of marriage, that legally becomes her property

 

[fizz1234]

Isn't this true

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahr

In Islam, a mahr (in Arabic: مهر‎; also transliterated mehr, meher, or mahrieh) is a mandatory payment, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, or by groom's father, to the bride at the time of marriage, that legally becomes her property

It is but if the marriage is no longer valid [divorced; initiated by wife] this amount is given back.

 

[Waiting2013]

So, i got nikkafied in pakistan in May 2013 Last year, there was no ruksati done and I left 2 days after the nikkah, we didnt get to spend any time. Although there was no ruksati done, we did portray a ruksati for immigration purposes, by having a big reception with lots of people and showed ruksati ceremony at the end and taking to thier house, there are lots of pictures BUT its been a year and I havent done the forms yet because I do NOT wish to apply for my husband. Its a messed up story, it happened quick due to family pressure and I dont like him. I dont know what to do now. I cant get out of it just like that because parents wont listen and are making me fill out the forms. My only option now is to somehow get this visa rejected. How do i do that? What are my options and how can i get out of this? please give suggestions !

Unfortunately, your post has invited all sorts of negative comments towards Pakistan from people who just need the chance to malign its name and vent out their hidden prejudice. Yes, there are all sorts of issues and problems in Pakistan, yes there are people who would marry for PR sake only but is it just Pakistan??? All of you badmouthing Pakistan and Pakistanis should first look at your own countries, everyone knows which countries are notorious for fake marriages, which countries export the mafia groups to Canada.... but only pakistanis are made to suffer because we do not enjoy the special and historical political relations with Canada, because we do not have a strong lobby.

As for your situation sister, I can understand your point but it is not the right forum nor the right way to end a marriage. Whatever you do, do not file the application if you are not genuinely interested in continuing the relationship, as other people pointed out, try to talk to your family and convince them