Common-Law Sponsorship Cancellation during sponsorship

[MisterBob]

Hi people,

I am under a lot of stress right now because my girlfriend's working holiday visa is going to expire in end of December and she still has a lot of bad points that my parents do not approve of us being together for long if she does not change these bad points. Also, a girl that I was very interested in 2 years ago, has recently contacted me and expressed her feelings towards me. I never had a chance to date with her before and now we both finally did. She told me she does not want to affect my girlfriend and my relationship, but I also dont want to make a mistake by applying for common-law and then regretting it's not the right choice.

They both are international and do not have permanent residence in Canada.

I was planning to apply for common-law in January 2013 with my current girlfriend.

My question is if I apply and during the application, we decide to separate. Will it affect my record? Like do I need to wait 3 more years till I can apply for another common-law or EVEN marriage sponsorship to Canada?
OR will it not count since I did not complete the process of it; meaning I can apply for sponsorship (common-law or spouse) anytime again?

Thank you so much to all that can help me with information regarding this and your personal support. I am going through such a emotional roller coaster right now :'(

 

[amikety]

If this other girl is international - please ask yourself WHY is she contacting you? Does she want to come to Canada? Does she have ulterior motives? Some people can sense the unhappiness and pounce on it. Please be careful in this situation.

If you're this uncertain, it's my opinion you shouldn't sponsor anyone. Sponsorship is a serious endeavor and you should be 100% certain of your relationship before the undertaking. It may be best to allow your girlfriend to return to her country for some time. Being apart will either make your heart fonder or make your eyes open about her. After being apart for a few months, I think your decision will be easier. (And honestly, if you're being drawn away by another girl, you probably aren't very happy in this relationship... sorry.)

I don't know the answer to your other questions, sorry. I looked, but not finding the right information. I'm sure there are others here that have more knowledge than me. Hopefully, they will help you.

 

[moochops]

I totally agree with the above response.

You are already questioning whether or not you can cancel an application to sponsor your current girlfrind if it all went wrong???

Maybe i'm being a little too romantic but do you love her??? After all isn't that what most relationships are built on??? If you are believing that "the grass is greener" with your old friend, then I would suggest your feelings aren't strong enough to be contemplating a life with your current one.

It totally sounds to me as though you want to sponsor the current one and then - well what the hell - throw that one out of the window and try and sponsor the other one if it doesn't work???? Cake and eat it anyone?

 

[McDutch]

You are just juggling chicks, figure that issue out first before you start worrying about immigration.

Also, do you really let your parents dictate you on bad qualities your girlfriend might have?

You need to set your personal life up straight before you even BEGIN to dab in Immigration issues.
By the looks of it, your current "girlfriend" is probably better off with someone who does care about her.

But i also agree with the above posters, there is a good chance this mystery girl got wind of your willingness to sponsor and is jumping the bandwagon.

You have a lot of stuff to think about

 

[rachiy]

A common-law relationship is more than just being girlfriend/boyfriend. When you are common-law you are effectively married but without the paperwork, cost and ceremony. If you are already thinking about cancelling an application which you have not yet filed so that you can sponsor someone else, then neither of these people are you common-law wife. If you do in fact succeed in pulling the wool over CIC's eyes to the point that they believe you have combined your affairs and are in a genuine husband/wife relationship then I think that is getting a little close to fraud.

I suggest that you take a few years and submit an application when you are in a true common-law relationship with someone that you genuinely want to be "married" to, not just so they can conveniently stay in the country now.

 

[amikety]

You are just juggling chicks, figure that issue out first before you start worrying about immigration.

Also, do you really let your parents dictate you on bad qualities your girlfriend might have?

You need to set your personal life up straight before you even BEGIN to dab in Immigration issues.
By the looks of it, your current "girlfriend" is probably better off with someone who does care about her.

But i also agree with the above posters, there is a good chance this mystery girl got wind of your willingness to sponsor and is jumping the bandwagon.

You have a lot of stuff to think about

Depending on what the "bad qualities" are, his parents might be watching out for him. If her "bad qualities" included something such as stealing, cheating, or living filthy - I understand 100% why a parent would discourage that.

However, we don't know. It could be something petty too, like mom doesn't like the girl's haircut (been there).

 

[MisterBob]

You are just juggling chicks, figure that issue out first before you start worrying about immigration.

Also, do you really let your parents dictate you on bad qualities your girlfriend might have?

You need to set your personal life up straight before you even BEGIN to dab in Immigration issues.
By the looks of it, your current "girlfriend" is probably better off with someone who does care about her.

But i also agree with the above posters, there is a good chance this mystery girl got wind of your willingness to sponsor and is jumping the bandwagon.

You have a lot of stuff to think about

Chicks? First off, don't call women/ladies chicks. Also, do you really think I am listening to my parents and not my personal opinion. Of course I feel the same way, and I'm just letting everyone my parents really dislike it as well more than me.

As well, stop giving your personal assumptions without facts. You don't even know what I have done for her. I am the only one that has been holding this relationship for the past 2 years. I am more understanding that you can imagine, so stop assuming without even knowing me. All I do is work, go to the gym, groceries and take care of her for these past 2 years and you are telling me this crap? No way.

Also this new girl is not asking me to sponsor her, she didn't even do anything to imply these things. She even insist on not talking to me anymore because it may affect my decision. She even messaged my current girlfriend and say she will not talk to me anymore if my girlfriend doesn't want to.

And I'm not thinking of cancelling the sponsorship if I do. I haven't even started the application yet but I'm just trying to see if anyone knows the answer that if the process was cancelled during the time, does it count as if I already applied and that I need to wait 3 years to sponsor someone else even if its marriage.

 

[MisterBob]

Depending on what the "bad qualities" are, his parents might be watching out for him. If her "bad qualities" included something such as stealing, cheating, or living filthy - I understand 100% why a parent would discourage that.

However, we don't know. It could be something petty too, like mom doesn't like the girl's haircut (been there).

Her bad qualities is that she is lazy and does not clean after herself. Clothes are always on the floor in the bedroom in a pile as a mountain. She always has dirty dishes in the sink or coffee table. Socks and shirt was found on the kitchen table. Toilet and bathtub has yellowish stains while it is pure white when it is clean. hair everywhere from living room to bed room. She does not do much other than working 3 days a week part-time and mostly sleeping and watching videos on the net but I like her a lot for her good points but her bad points are just more overwhelming than bad. Also, I want to settle down and find a wife, so its kind of hard to keep dating and taking a new relationship over and over again.

 

[amikety]

Her bad qualities is that she is lazy and does not clean after herself. Clothes are always on the floor in the bedroom in a pile as a mountain. She always has dirty dishes in the sink or coffee table. Socks and shirt was found on the kitchen table. Toilet and bathtub has yellowish stains while it is pure white when it is clean. hair everywhere from living room to bed room. She does not do much other than working 3 days a week part-time and mostly sleeping and watching videos on the net but I like her a lot for her good points but her bad points are just more overwhelming than bad. Also, I want to settle down and find a wife, so its kind of hard to keep dating and taking a new relationship over and over again.

Please take this as kind advice - not me trying to lecture you or tell you what to do. These are just points you may want to consider.

First, just wanting to find a wife and settle down isn't the good basis for a relationship. We all want someone. But that should be someone that shares the relationship, the responsibility, and the love. It sounds like you're considering settling for her because you fear you won't find another/better. Sweety, you're a hard working young man that's obviously intelligent. You deserve a woman that matches you.

Please ask yourself 1 question. Can you see living in this situation for ten years? Twenty? The rest of your life? Will you be happy working hard all week, coming home to a flithy home to a wife that barely works? If you have kids, are you going to be okay with them living in that mess? Plus, chances are you'll be the one doing the primary childcare too... Basically, are you going to be okay being a mother to your wife?

I am only concerned because that was my first husband. Lazy, never worked, took all my money. Then he found his pot of gold and left me in the blink of an eye.

I don't doubt your love for her. My concern is your happiness, now and in the future.

Best of luck to you whatever you do in this situation & we are here if you need help in the future.

PS: I'm a 31 year old married woman and I call myself a 'chick' sometimes

 

[truesmile]

Totally agree with 'amikety's "will you happy in 10 years" paragraph. Do not walk away from this situation . . . RUN away from it. WAY TOO MANY DOUBTS here! Let her visa expire and that's it.

 

[moochops]

Chicks? First off, don't call women/ladies chicks. Also, do you really think I am listening to my parents and not my personal opinion. Of course I feel the same way, and I'm just letting everyone my parents really dislike it as well more than me.

As well, stop giving your personal assumptions without facts. You don't even know what I have done for her. I am the only one that has been holding this relationship for the past 2 years. I am more understanding that you can imagine, so stop assuming without even knowing me. All I do is work, go to the gym, groceries and take care of her for these past 2 years and you are telling me this crap? No way.

Also this new girl is not asking me to sponsor her, she didn't even do anything to imply these things. She even insist on not talking to me anymore because it may affect my decision. She even messaged my current girlfriend and say she will not talk to me anymore if my girlfriend doesn't want to.

And I'm not thinking of cancelling the sponsorship if I do. I haven't even started the application yet but I'm just trying to see if anyone knows the answer that if the process was cancelled during the time, does it count as if I already applied and that I need to wait 3 years to sponsor someone else even if its marriage.

Can I just give you a little hint into 'woman' psychology???

There was absolutely no need WHATSOEVER, for the new lady in your life to speak to your current girlfriend - HOWEVER, this is done so your girlfriend starts to have doubts about you, and where you are, who you're with, questioning why shes being contacted by total strangers etc etc - it's done to set the seed of doubt and start your current relationship on a destruction path, all while the new girl on the block sits there and angelically says "what??? I was only offering to stay out of the picture"

This 'new' woman sounds very devious to me. :-X