Call of a desperate mother - Any help would be really appreciated!!

[suezy]

I went to Canada in 2007 to live with my father he was to start sponsorship for me but he made me leave his home because he could not use all the money i had for my savings to keep me until i get on my feet. so i was taken in by a friend i knew from Barbados.

We got married in 2008 and he started my sponsorship couple months after. When immigration sent the letter informing him he qualify to sponsor me , things then took a devastating course. he become my father . he starting not coming home for couple days at a time he stop supporting me , i was to afraid to speak out cause i wanted a better life for myself and my children back in Barbados.i had no friends in Hamilton , he took me no where it was just cook and wash for him . he told me he sponsoring me so i had to take what got .then he stop coming home for weeks at a time leaving me without money or anything i had to rely on my mum back in Barbados who was having a hard time herself but she never said no to me . She wanted me to make good for my children .my ex-husband got win of what was happening so on his trip to Canada he called to see if it was true but i took long before i confided in anyone cause i was too ashamed.

I turned to alcohol and i never drank in my life but the pain was to deep . I got pregnant cause my ex was the one that was there for me through my drinking and pain but he had to go back home to his country so i told my husband the truth cause two wrongs don't make a right . He said he would take care of the baby so bring it not knowing he was planning to use it to his advantage . as soon as my son was born that's when hell broke loose. he sent me to my fathers house saying go take the baby and spend time with my father .

Then the letter from immigration came telling me i can now apply for a work permit i did and i got it in 2009 December. he advise me to apply for a job in st Catharine's by my father so his wife can baby sit for me cause he had no time for a baby.i told him i cant cause we are a couple and we suppose to work through it together , he said i sponsoring you i telling you what to do so do it . i applied for the job got it at kfc in at Catharine's and he then stop sportimg us altogether. say i was working i don't need anything from him and to stay by my dad till he want me to come home to hamilton, cause he got someone visiting for a while.i was determine to work but what i did not know that in a spousal application you should be living together always , i only knew that after . he knew it cause he was also sponsored by his ex-wife .later after he confess saying his girlfriend called immigration and say our marriage was not real , and that immigration came checking i never knew all this until later. He bought this woman from barbados in our home and put me out , i was so torn apart . How can you love someone marry them and then treat them so unkind .this time my daughter had joined us in canada , he got her in a school told me get her in a school in st catharines cause that is where i will be spending most of my time . she got in a school and was doing magnificent .then in august i got a letter for our interview at hamilton cic office for the 31 st of august 9.00 am . he told me not to worry everything will be ok .

I was interviewed by a miss Lisa Farr and her first impression in seeing me was not to pleasant, we had not even began to talk and i could see the attitude in her already .and there i knew it was not going to be pleasant . She asked me alot of personal questions and i answered honestly but was to shame to tell her how i was treated and kicked out our home cause i was afraid i will be refused.he was interviewed after he came out with a cunning smile and all he said go to st catharines she will send our results by mail and not another word.a couple days after he called said the letter is here but i need to call when i was coming , i didn't call i just went ahead and i was so humiliated to see another woman in our bed ,and worst yet i was refused because miss Lisa Farr did not think our marriage was real. that put the knife t my heart .i loved my husband did everything he asked of me slaved for him took his insults , his cheating , his verbal abruse for an officer to tell me my marriage was not real.and to end off with my husband and his girlfrieng pushing me out our home saying i did my best leave now.i was so torn i asked him for help to find a lawyer to appeal he said he cant offer his help he turned his back on me . so i went back to work i got news that day i was promoted to manager i was so shame to tell them everything i just smiles. a manager a job i loved so much a country i made home for 4 years and my son who is a canadian what was i going to do with my daughter who was adapting so well to school and canada .so i saved 1700.00 from my sons ccb payments and seek a lawyer for help (Geraldine MacDonald) . she told me i can appeal give me hope , then as soon as i payed her the 1680.00 she hide from me for two months and then i finally got her cause my work permit was out in December so my work was running short and i would have no means of support for me or my kids , and she layed it on me i cant help you, your husband sabotage your all interview with immigration so he leave me with nothing to fight with.so she laugh i am sorry , the good news is she said you dont have to pay me the other half. another knife stuck in my heart i could have fainted right there .

I caught the bus and cried my way from Toronto to st catharines cause my whole world was torn apart i did not know what to do i had no one else to turn too. i call government officals for help , each one send me to another one and i end up no where .i gived up i had no one to help i was lost. my husband called me told me go home to barbados i would refile for you just oput all your documents together i will do it i promise i love you and the kids . i trusted him and i went home i worked for the couple months. Went home on the 1st of jan. bcause immigration give me until the 19th of october ,but i had to purchase tickets and get alot of documents and passport for my son and my husband of course said he cant help .but he bought a ticket to barbados and went on home leaving me to fend once again for me and my children.we got our tickets and went home to my mums two bedroom apartment with no room for me or my son just a spot on the floor and we are living out off our suitcases. my husband got back to canada after his trip and he told me he cant refile he only wanted me gone from Canada to start his new life , he want to file for someone else.that was the last nail in my coffin . now my son and i are from our country we love and make our home , my job i was so committed to ,they even told me its there when i return , my son deserve to live in his country ,not kicked out because my husband told lies for his own selfish reasons and an officer who judge me wrongfully .through his lies..

Now i had my son and daughter with me had to pay cab fare to the airport got there so late almost miss my flight so i could not send in the form i was given to give to immigration on my departure from canada ,so i mail it in to the hamilton cic office with my departure tickets with my explanation letter to show them i leave Canada .the same officer wrote me back in Barbados telling me i have to provide offical prove of my departure although i give her all the prove i have. i really figure she dont like me for some reason. i have no more proof i send everything to her already. please can someone out there help me . is there a way i can return with my son to canada so he can live and raise in his country , doesn't he deserve a life in his country and what can be done about the lies my husband told immigration to influence there decision.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

 

[HoneyBird2]

*sigh*

You stayed in a relationship that was toxic because you wanted to live in Canada. In fact, you took abuse, insults, infidelity all the way to the immigration just to get the residency. And I am to believe that you think you deserve the residency because you took all the abuse. In fact it seemed that you would of put up with the abuse, insults infidelity with the residency. I think its a blessing in disguise you did not get the residency and that made it easy to extract yourself from a situation that is detrimental to your mental health. You cannot want residency so bad that you are willing to be like a slave for a man.

You have left, which you did and you cannot appeal a decision on your marriage if your husband is not willing to go forward with it. Your husband is a snake, he should of just left you. But it seems to me, that he wanted to break off the relationship with you, but you just kept hold on to him for the residency and he no longer was in love with you. So he tried to shake you off the best way that he could. Sorry to say, but you were so blinded by Residency Status that you did not see this. Your husband probably realized that you were using him for residency. Yes I am saying this because you have given us your side of the story but we haven't heard his side and we have to also give him the benefit of the doubt and he tried numerous time by deliberately hurting you so that you would move on.

I am sorry to hear of all your troubles, but there is nothing much you can do now because you never complained before to the authorities.

You need to forget the ex-husband, get a divorce and move on with your life in Barbados. Take care of the baby, your ex husband is the father so there is someone that you can get baby support from and someone that can be in your baby's life. Life is going to be hard where ever you stay. In Barbados or in Canada. Barbados, you have your family support system, you are a citizen there, you can get a job. Canada, while you can get a job, you do not have the support system for your child. Its gonna be hard life for a bit no matter what you chose.

You have said that your son deserves to be in Canada because he is Canadian, but honestly, you are from Barbados, the exhusband (father) is from Barbados. So he is born in Canada and yes it gives him automatic rights. But only he can go to Canada, Which he can do when he is old enough to do so. But you cannot use him to get yourself back into Canada. Which is what you in your mind has reasoned is your right to go back to Canada because you are his mother. Also you mentioned other children in Barbados. What do you plan to do with them? Forget them because you want to go back to Canada?

Someone else can advise you if there are humanitarian grounds, I don't know. But honestly, I think you should forget Canada, as that is what put you into this whole mess of things, and move on with your life in Barbados. Barbados is a beautiful country, There is no war, famine, terrorists etc but sun, sand and beach. It is not the worst place you have been sent back to. Its a beautiful place in the Caribbean that I actually wont mind living in. The Standard of Living is good and I am sure if you put your heart in it, you will be happy there.



*this is my own personal opinion*

 

[suezy]

thankyou for all your kind words but i was not a mother sitting down taking abruse not working i had a job one infact i love , and a country dont matter what i went throw i loved , so thankyou for making a sensitive situation one without meaning , a mother look after her kids dont matter what the situation is if you were in my position would you give up your fight ,sorry i guest you would . but thanks for your kind words of advise

 

[HoneyBird2]

I do not mean to desensitize your problem.

 

[scylla]

First of all, I'm sorry for everything you have gone through. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

However I generally agree with what HoneyBird has said. CIC was correct in refusing your application since at that point you and your ex were no longer a real couple. I think the appeal was a waste of time and it's too bad you spent your money on this. But what's done is done.

Your son is Canadian and can live in Canada. However this does not give you the right to do the same. Once he is an adult, he can sponsor you to live in Canada. However I know that's still many many years away.

I think it would be best to forget about the spousal application (again, you no longer qualify since you no longer have a spousal-like relationship with your ex). Have you investigated any other ways you can immigrate to Canada? For example, skilled worker, live-in caregiver, etc. Are you qualified for any of these?

Good luck.

 

[suezy]

thanks ! i have a sister and father living in canada but i dont know what help that would be , but an officer told me i can try doing a course in my country that come under skilled worker and then apply as a skilled worker , cause i already have contacts in canada willind to hire me so i dont know if that might help.

 

[WillBCanuck]

. Also you mentioned other children in Barbados. What do you plan to do with them? Forget them because you want to go back to Canada?

@HoneyBird2: Whoa.. that's really "sensitive", I could bet you are not a parent.

 

[CharlieD10]

The refusal was valid, suezy, I'm sorry. You were not a member of the family class, you did not have a genuine spousal relationship with your husband. There is no point in trying to appeal it, or in thinking that anything your husband says is true, since he treated you the way he did, and then sabotaged your application.

I have to agree with scylla, find other avenues to emigrate if you wish to do so, look into the Skilled Worker class since you have Canadian work experience.

I also agree with Honeybird, to the extent that you are a citizen of Barbados and so are you other children, you have the chance to make a life for yourself and them. Your standard of living there is higher even than other countries in the Caribbean, it is possible to make a decent life for all of you. Your Canadian child is better off with his mother and his father close by him, just because he is a citizen of Canada by birth does not negate the fact that the only place he will be in good hands is where his parents are, and currently that is Barbados.

WillB - someone does not need to be a parent in order to state an opinion on parents and children. IMO, Honeybird is merely pointing out that her main concern seems to be her Canadian child, not ALL of her children.

 

[WillBCanuck]

WillB - someone does not need to be a parent in order to state an opinion on parents and children.

Indeed, you don't need to be a parent. I'ts just that maybe (just maybe) you could be *a bit* more sensitive before posting something like "what you plan to do with them?.. forget about your kids" as part of your reply to a mom maybe in a desperate situation.

...maybe one day you'll understand.

 

[YorkFactory]

HoneyBird wasn't telling her to forget her children. She was asking if she planned to forget the children.

 

[patiently_waiting]

Suezy,

Perhaps you can send a copy of the passport stamp along with a copy of the infomation page to them along with your bording pass. I also suspect that you would need to get this notarized as well as this would confirm these as legalised documents.

Like others, I am really sorry for your situation however if your husband does not sponsor you, your only option would be to apply as a skilled worker as I do not believe you qualify as a refugee. Regardless of your ability to appeal you need to send the documents to immigration as requested as this could in future keep you from entering the country or the ability to obtain any other avenue of entry to Canada.

 

[Leon]

It is a sad story but the refusal was justified. You said:

so i was taken in by a friend i knew from Barbados. We got married in 2008 and he started my sponsorship couple months after.

This sounds to me like a marriage of convenience.

i loved my husband did everything he asked of me slaved for him took his insults , his cheating , his verbal abruse for an officer to tell me my marriage was not real.

And yet you had a child with your ex-husband during this marriage?

and to end off with my husband and his girlfrieng pushing me out our home

Even if the immigration had not had suspicions about this being a marriage of convenience and did not know about the paternity of your child, the moment your husband kicked you out and moved his girlfriend in, you would be classified as separated and do no longer qualify to be sponsored as a spouse.

It is possible that you could appeal to stay in Canada on H&C grounds but you would need money and a lawyer to even try and there is no guarantee of success. You can try to apply under some other immigration class. If KFC wants to help you come back, if they make you a shift manager, it is a skilled job. They would need to get an LMO and then you can apply for a work permit there. You could bring your children with you, apply to immigrate later.

The lies told by your husband are not criminal offences. If you divorce him in Canada, you can ask for alimony but since your children are not his children, I do not know how much you would get. You may get some of his assets. I am not sure about the law on assets acquired before marriage. However, he has no obligation to sponsor you for PR, especially when you are already separated and he has a new girlfriend. He is not even allowed to sponsor you any more.

 

[HoneyBird2]

Indeed, you don't need to be a parent. I'ts just that maybe (just maybe) you could be *a bit* more sensitive before posting something like "what you plan to do with them?.. forget about your kids" as part of your reply to a mom maybe in a desperate situation.

...maybe one day you'll understand.

I can be insensitive at times. I agree I could of stated my comments in a better frame.

 

[HoneyBird2]

Hey I just thought of something...if you were a good manager at KFC in Canada, ask your supervisor to write you a letter of recommendation so that you can go armed with it to the KFC franchise in Barbados. I am sure that will improve your chances of getting a job in Barbados quickly. you can even use it for other big named restaurants..I am sure they will see your experience in the business as being a +ve especially since they need to be very customer service oriented with a big tourist industry.

 

[angelbrat]

You could also see if your ex employer is able to sponsor you under the PNP route.