Being separated from your loved ones. How do you cope?

[flx2015]

FYI this post is more of a rant than anything. I'm looking for support, not information. Feel free to share your own stories because there's no doubt I'm not alone in this.

All this uncertainty over when my wife and I will finally get to be together is really starting to take an emotional toll on me. I miss her too much and it's difficult for both of us to be apart from each other. Why does our government think it's fine to let their suspicions keep us apart from our loved ones? Fine, I get that there's people who have committed fraud in order to illegally gain entry into Canada, but does that really happen so often that CIC now feels justified to treat each and every application as potential fraud? Not only is it bad enough that they take months or even years to process our applications when they've clearly demonstrated that they can process them faster if they wanted to (e.g. Trudeau's promise to relocate refugees), they've made it nearly impossible for our loved ones to get visitor visas so that we can at least be together while the application is still being processed. Even the US allows spousal sponsors to get temporary visas so that couples can be together while their applications are being processed. I swear to god, there's no humanity in this.

My wife is waiting in Pakistan. I visited her in October, but only for a week because that's all the time off I could get due to my job. I don't know when we'll see each other next. I miss her...

 

[MB87]

It's difficult, I am in the same position as you...My wife being in Canada the and myself in Cali...But look at the big picture once you guys are together for good it will be much much sweeter...Everything will work out in it's time...

 

[wahmad4]

FYI this post is more of a rant than anything. I'm looking for support, not information.

All this uncertainty over when my wife and I will finally get to be together is really starting to take an emotional toll on me. I miss her too much and it's difficult for both of us to be apart from each other. Why does our government think it's fine to let their suspicions keep us apart from our loved ones? Fine, I get that there's people who have committed fraud in order to illegally gain entry into Canada, but does that really happen so often that CIC now feels justified to treat each and every application as potential fraud? Not only is it bad enough that they take months or even years to process our applications when they've clearly demonstrated that they can process them faster if they wanted to (e.g. Trudeau's promise to relocate refugees), they've made it nearly impossible for our loved ones to get visitor visas so that we can at least be together while the application is still being processed. Even the US allows spousal sponsors to get temporary visas so that couples can be together while their applications are being processed. I swear to god, there's no humanity in this.

My wife is waiting in Pakistan. I visited her in October, but only for a week because that's all the time off I could get due to my job. I don't know when we'll see each other next. I miss her...

one thing that will make a difference is if some of our visa officers end up falling in love with someone from outside Canada THEN they will feel the pain & might be more considerate of other applicants.

 

[IndToCan1]

Extremely painful being away from loved one. I spend a lot of time on Skype. On wifey's request; even got a data plan to talk to her from work which we all know how expensive is in Canada.
So many pointless agruements/misunderstandings & all related to one thing; we are not together.

So Frustrating.

 

[Liiaa]

FYI this post is more of a rant than anything. I'm looking for support, not information. Feel free to share your own stories because there's no doubt I'm not alone in this.

All this uncertainty over when my wife and I will finally get to be together is really starting to take an emotional toll on me. I miss her too much and it's difficult for both of us to be apart from each other. Why does our government think it's fine to let their suspicions keep us apart from our loved ones? Fine, I get that there's people who have committed fraud in order to illegally gain entry into Canada, but does that really happen so often that CIC now feels justified to treat each and every application as potential fraud? Not only is it bad enough that they take months or even years to process our applications when they've clearly demonstrated that they can process them faster if they wanted to (e.g. Trudeau's promise to relocate refugees), they've made it nearly impossible for our loved ones to get visitor visas so that we can at least be together while the application is still being processed. Even the US allows spousal sponsors to get temporary visas so that couples can be together while their applications are being processed. I swear to god, there's no humanity in this.

My wife is waiting in Pakistan. I visited her in October, but only for a week because that's all the time off I could get due to my job. I don't know when we'll see each other next. I miss her...

I truly feel your pain too my husband and I are going through the same thing right now. He will be leaving me again to return for work in Canada, and I don't know how long it will be, before we see
Him again. We have 2 children together and it hurts me even more to see the kids cry when he has to part. You're definitely not alone in this. We have no other choice but to hope things will move forward quick and we can all be reunited with our spouses soon!! Hang in there...

 

[charlem]

FYI this post is more of a rant than anything. I'm looking for support, not information. Feel free to share your own stories because there's no doubt I'm not alone in this.

All this uncertainty over when my wife and I will finally get to be together is really starting to take an emotional toll on me. I miss her too much and it's difficult for both of us to be apart from each other. Why does our government think it's fine to let their suspicions keep us apart from our loved ones? Fine, I get that there's people who have committed fraud in order to illegally gain entry into Canada, but does that really happen so often that CIC now feels justified to treat each and every application as potential fraud? Not only is it bad enough that they take months or even years to process our applications when they've clearly demonstrated that they can process them faster if they wanted to (e.g. Trudeau's promise to relocate refugees), they've made it nearly impossible for our loved ones to get visitor visas so that we can at least be together while the application is still being processed. Even the US allows spousal sponsors to get temporary visas so that couples can be together while their applications are being processed. I swear to god, there's no humanity in this.

My wife is waiting in Pakistan. I visited her in October, but only for a week because that's all the time off I could get due to my job. I don't know when we'll see each other next. I miss her...

We are on the same situation and it was real torture... I don't know where we got the strength and long patience to continue fighting for these bureaucratic works. As a newly wedd this very hard to be a part. My husband came to visit me in September for tow weeks and he has to comeback to Canada because of his work.

 

[Labbadulc]

Its crazy how i feel this way daily...the only time we are happy is when we are together...now that im back in canada my husband becomes depressed with the whole situation .. id really love if immigration officers as soon as they get our documents at the respective VO they go through the verifications and have our DM's as fast as we got our SA's at the most...so don't worry you aren't alone we are all here to support each other and hopefully our processing will be done sooner then later.

 

[bigredmoose]

one thing that will make a difference is if some of our visa officers end up falling in love with someone from outside Canada THEN they will feel the pain & might be more considerate of other applicants.

What are you, 12?

 

[ayrazar]

Okay well ignoring the post above mine,

Thank God for Skype, eh? I hear ya. I HATE the uncertainty aspect. It's by far, for me, the worst part to handle.

 

[client2014]

no doubt... really painful

 

[bradybunchmom]

it is so difficult. We did that for 6 years now I am here as a visitor ...finally together ..fingers crossed. I am so happy to finally have that however now I miss all my family back home.

 

[sunshinemrc]

To answer your question, yes there was and is sill a lot of fraud. And Cic made it more difficult to sponsor a
Spouses due to pressure by former sponsors (PRs and Canadian citizens) who were defrauded

Government listened to the complaints (there were thousands of signatures on petitions) and as hard as waiting is all the check processes that are in place are to protect the sponsors.

Now, long wait times from certain countries are really not Canada's doing. the problem in existence is security checks and verification of documents from countries where for the right price you can get pretty much any document you want (including passports, identity documents etc).

 

[etienbjel]

I was lucky in my case because I was able to find work in another country and add my wife to the work visa while we wait for her PR. She was denied TRV on 3 occasions to visit Canada because basically she is too poor. If I was working in Canada, I would have only been able to visit her once per year for 2 weeks during my annual leave. I know a lot of people have this arrangement and I don't know how they cope.

I sometimes think CIC should introduce another visa class, like a PR Applicant Visa (PRA) - A visa for people who have applied for PR but have been rejected TRVs and have been waiting for more than 6 months or something.

Let's say, once the sponsor is approved and the 6 month wait has passed, a PRA is issued with an unconditional promise of support and liability on the sponsor. The applicant is allowed to come to Canada on stricter conditions than a TRV. If the applicant breaks any law or is found working illegally in Canada, they are kicked out and the sponsor would be completely liable. All costs of removals/deportations would be the sole responsibility of the sponsor. If the PR is denied, the applicant must leave the country within 30 days. The sponsor will be responsible for visa overstay charges (i.e. $10 per day). Liability for the sponsor would be removed once PR is approved.

This would deter the fraudsters but also give couples a chance to be together while they wait for the decision.

 

[Masriixo]

I agree with the post above mine, I've seen in multiple occasions on how this waiting and uncertainty brings stress to a relationship. Some people may argue that it makes the relationship stronger but it really is unnecessary.

When we submitted our application we understood that it may take up to 2 years and we tried to find a solution to be with each other, as we were still newlyweds, we thought being with each other the first year of marriage was and is crucial. We spent 3 months together than I had to leave to finish my semester, it was one of the hardest things leaving him at the airport. Our situation is quite different because he has to leave his home country to be with me since Syria wasn't really a safe place to wait. So knowing that he was in a country with no family and no anything really was quite hard on me. I finished my semester and flew back, I was suppose to go back to school in January and I ended up deferring a year cause I could not bare leaving him again. I've missed my nieces 1st birthday, countless celebrations of birthdays and much more. We try to find jobs to to no avail. We burn through our savings. We lived in 7 houses in the span of 12 months. It's emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting.

I've visited the Canadian embassy here countless times to ask them for help or a solution and they always say the same thing "just go back to Canada and wait". No one will ever understand the struggle and situation until they're in your shoes.

So we just wait, and be patient. The only advice I can give is to be patient, and try to keep communication open. Tell your spouse how you are feeling and everything will be okay.

Good luck to everyone that's waiting and hopefully we can all finally settle in Canada with our loved ones

 

[SeulDansMonBocal]

The worst part is leaving right after our wedding. Valentine's day is coming and we spend it on skype.