wintersnow said:
Read this case in CANLII (case 96630 if the link does not work).
http://www.canlii.org/en/ca/irb/doc/2013/2013canlii96630/2013canlii96630.html?searchUrlHash=AAAAAQBB7a-A7bCc7a-A7bCZ7a-A7bCZ7a-A7bCW7a-A7bCT7a-A7bCc7a-A7bCZ7a-A7bCZ7a-A7bCW7a-A7bCTOTY2MzAAAAAAAQ&resultIndex=1
The judge in this case was very good.
You say you have lived with each other for 4 years. You need to prove to them you are not just room mates (for instance). You only have an hour at the ADR to prove to the MC that your relationship is genuine. As in my case, I am pretty sure he/she has already decided it isn't. Unfortunately, in my case, she left it to the last minute to ask me the one question she was concerned about. I answered and she did not ask for me to elaborate on why I thought my wife was not taking advantage of me. You must elaborate.
hi wintersnow and everyone, the following is the input from my husband, i wonder, in your opinion, how is it? thank you very much.
Genuineness of marriage
how the relationship developed;
gradually, over time
the intent of the parties to the marriage;
to live together as husband and wife in a legal, emotional and physical relationship
the length of the relationship;
Since December 2009
the amount of time spent together;
by far and away the majority of the time since December 2009
conduct at the time of meeting, at the time of an engagement and/or the wedding;
meeting – cordial and professional
engagement – a bit of an unusual situation, I think; about when I began divorce proceedings
wedding – shared the celebratory evening with friends in Zhengzhou, Henan
honeymoon – hoped to share some time in Canada, exploring and camping. UNFORTUNATELY Canada would not grant Xianghua a visa, so we can ONLY go exploring and camping in the States around the time of this hearing. As we speak, Xianghua is waiting for me in Seattle.
behaviour subsequent to a wedding;
living as husband and wife, because Xiang Hua works, I do much of the housework but not all. Share a lot of this(housework) also. I clean up in the kitchen, make breakfast every day, often we share doing the laundry. I sweep, mop, fix things ( toilet, rice cooker,…) help with organization (scrounge shower curtain rings, bend scrounged wire to make hooks, sew loops on wash cloths for hanging, maintained bicycles, fix umbrellas, sharpen knives, scrounge small magnets from earbuds to hang metal spoons, knife, bottle opener), clean scrounged pots, pans shelves, coffee table, cutting boards, luggage…,
the level of knowledge of each other’s relationship histories;
this is Xiang Hua’s first relationship, and my past relationships are known to her but I don’t say a lot. I want to live in the now, not the past and that is what I feel when I discuss the past. Let it go, look to the future is what I think.
levels of continuing contact and communication;
auditory -VERY FREQUENT, direct speech, body language, skype, e-mail, messaging, pictures, WeChat
tactile – holding hands, kissing, giving massage, squeezing zits, braiding hair, SEX
visual – complete body scan – false nipples, scar in crotch, top front of scalp
olfaction – our pheromones excite each other
emotional – I supported Xianghua when she had to return to her hometown to help
the palliative care her mother needed. She helps me to laugh, see the funny side of life and cope with some of the difficulties one meets living in China.
the provision of financial support;
initially – none, a bit change began our first time in Shenzhen and I began a plan to give her a degree of financial security by giving a significant portion of my salary because I had no need and I wanted to be helpful and supportive. This year we are purchasing a home in China for use by her family or as a safety net for Xianghua, with intention to buy a house in Canada. So, presently Xianghua is providing for our daily living expenses and accommodation and I am contributing to the new house fund.
the knowledge of and sharing of responsibility for the care of children brought into the marriage; no children brought in and none in the process yet. We are presently working on combining DNA
the knowledge of and contact with extended families of the parties;
extensive visits by her family to Shenzhen – one nephew, a sister with her son and daughter, another sister and parents (who lived with us for about 4 months with no problems or conflicts, they all have been very friendly, her dad tried valiantly to give me some education about political divisions in China and her mom was so good about cooking and cleaning)
my kids (30&32 years old) are busy working and don’t have the time nor the finances to come over. I was hoping to be driving over to Duluth so my son could come down from Thunder Bay, but right now he is attending police college and our planned meeting won’t happen this time.
level of knowledge about each other’s daily lives.
Pretty high, I frequently walk her to work, when time permits I meet her after work, we sometimes have lunch together Monday to Friday. If I have been working in the evening, she will have some supper ready for me. Sometimes she lets me prepare enough breakfast for her too but, honestly she never liked the oatmeal but with the addition of yogurt, her attitude has changed. She doesn’t snore, likes to sleep on the side of the bed away from the wall, likes to have a cover on and sleeps in the buff, brushes her teeth twice a day and prefers to take a shower in the morning. I think she teases kitty a little too often, but she always treats our cat well, after all I don’t bother with the fleas but Xianghua is very good at paying attention to them, hunting them down and killing them.
Ultimately – Xianghua has never fantasized about going to Canada. I tried to motivate her to go on line and learn the material for her beginner’s driver’s licence, but to little avail. Nothing in the years that we have been together have ever hinted that she is in this relationship to get a free pass to Canada. Quite the contrary, she does express concerns about dealing with the cold. Can I read people? After being a teacher for more than 35 years I think I can do a pretty good job.I sincerely believe this is a true marriage we share.