ADVISE PLEASE - When your child is not part of your application!
- Thread starter Cindy1
- Start date
If, for whatever reason, you are required to start over, you should make absolutely sure that you at least know the son's whereabouts before you start requesting documents that expire (like police checks or your own medical). Might want to confirm that the child has had his medical done before your husband gets his done.
I can't imagine having to skip trace a child of whom you have joint custody.
I can't imagine having to skip trace a child of whom you have joint custody.
Clearly joint custody is the big thing here, if the son was not in that situation, the decision would be easier.Cindy1 said:
14 years old... hmm, it is not as if the son is old enough to make a life decision yet.
I have reconsidered this - I think that I would pull the current application.
I know it will be a big task, but I would want to get things arranged so that the son can be sponsored at a later date if he wants to, or in case of an emergency.
Thanks Baloo for your updated opinion.
After hearing the feedback from the forum, we too have changed our initial plan. We are going to aggressively try everything in our power for the next 70 days (to make the 90 day deadline) to find him and get the medicals done.
My husband has been "visiting" me in Canada, as we were expecting we are on the home stretch and PPR would occur within the next few weeks. As a result of the letter on Friday, he is leaving to go back to the states try everything under the sun to get this requirement fulfilled. We have our lives together on the line, and giving up is not an option.
After hearing the feedback from the forum, we too have changed our initial plan. We are going to aggressively try everything in our power for the next 70 days (to make the 90 day deadline) to find him and get the medicals done.
My husband has been "visiting" me in Canada, as we were expecting we are on the home stretch and PPR would occur within the next few weeks. As a result of the letter on Friday, he is leaving to go back to the states try everything under the sun to get this requirement fulfilled. We have our lives together on the line, and giving up is not an option.
quakingaspen
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Hey Guys,
Came to give you somewhat of an update.
We uncovered that the mother & son are residing in Virgina. My husband arrived in VA late last night. He called the mother and asked if he may see his son and spend a few days with him. (During this time he would do the medical). She refused, and hung up the phone. He tried calilng several times again today and she is not accepting the calls, or hanging up immediately.
He has called the local authorities to find out what is the best recourse for him to see his son, and they advised him to go to the house and wait outside and from there call the local police. The police will arrive and verify that he has joint custody and as long as the son doesn't refuse he will be able to take him. This obviously isn't an ideal situation but we don't have many options.
We have tentative medical appt setup for his son, in two different locations on both Thursday and Friday.
It's a very stressful time, but we having faith that good will come of this all.
Came to give you somewhat of an update.
We uncovered that the mother & son are residing in Virgina. My husband arrived in VA late last night. He called the mother and asked if he may see his son and spend a few days with him. (During this time he would do the medical). She refused, and hung up the phone. He tried calilng several times again today and she is not accepting the calls, or hanging up immediately.
He has called the local authorities to find out what is the best recourse for him to see his son, and they advised him to go to the house and wait outside and from there call the local police. The police will arrive and verify that he has joint custody and as long as the son doesn't refuse he will be able to take him. This obviously isn't an ideal situation but we don't have many options.
We have tentative medical appt setup for his son, in two different locations on both Thursday and Friday.
It's a very stressful time, but we having faith that good will come of this all.
Document all of this. If for some reason you are unable to get the medicals done then you can advise CIC of your attempts.Cindy1 said:
Everyone needs to keep in mind that the child is now 10 years older and may REFUSE to do the medicals. Who knows what kind of impression he has or has been given about his father? But nobody, not the father or CIC, can force that child to do the medicals at his age.
IMHO, your husband needs to tread very carefully. Immigration is one thing and the inability to get the medicals CAN be overcome if you document the attempts made. But this could be very traumatic for the child as well and could have devastating effects on the future of a relationship between them. I hope your husband has a good plan going into this.
Yes, the door can close on future sponsorship but not completely. If something truly devastating happened, there is still an H&C application that could be made. I'm talking TRULY horrific (like death of the mother) and it would be a long and painful wait for a decision on H&C but it is possible. Everyone is right to encourage getting the medicals done now as it could save a lot of pain in the long run. But it doesn't mean that it is 100% lost. Maybe 98% but 2% is better than nothing.
wow! sorry but if the absent father of my children turned up unannounced, out of the blue after 10 years I'd be extremely cautious too.
The boy does not know his dad, and will view him as a stranger.
Also, sorry to say but your husband is only trying to force this meeting becuase he wants to get through immigration, not because he has a genuine desire to have a relationship with his son.
The boy is 14, surely it is his choice when/where even if he sees his father.
He phoned them late at night??
Arrived unannounced in VA?
A few days? the boy doesn't even know this man!!
I'd be spitting feathers if I were the boys mum!!
The boy does not know his dad, and will view him as a stranger.
Also, sorry to say but your husband is only trying to force this meeting becuase he wants to get through immigration, not because he has a genuine desire to have a relationship with his son.
The boy is 14, surely it is his choice when/where even if he sees his father.
He phoned them late at night??
Arrived unannounced in VA?
A few days? the boy doesn't even know this man!!
I'd be spitting feathers if I were the boys mum!!
In this case, don't forget, it was the mother who created the absent father by sneaking away with the child and not telling anybody where they lived. Of course she wouldn't like it that he shows up now and who knows what she has told their son about him. He will probably not want to see him.
I know of a case that a man had no contact with his son for about the same length of time and at his confirmation when he was 14, he asked if he could come. The mother and son were quite happy to let him do that but in that case it was also not the mother who had cut off contact and she had done nothing to poison his son against the father.
I know of a case that a man had no contact with his son for about the same length of time and at his confirmation when he was 14, he asked if he could come. The mother and son were quite happy to let him do that but in that case it was also not the mother who had cut off contact and she had done nothing to poison his son against the father.