About Had It.

[Christoph100]

Some of thing(s) that helped us through our process was almost daily communication in one form or another.. Just a quick message, telephone call, skype etc. does wonders to the mind. Visiting really helped us out a lot too but its not easy to be over 13,000km away from your spouse! Just can't hop in the car and go. Ordering our GCMS notes helped keep us sane by learning about what parts of the process were actually completed. The process is worth it as difficult as it is. Try to stay positive and keep in your mind that soon you will be together. "When?" always the answer is "SOON" That word does wonders in helping to keep a positive mind set.

Our process took 9mths.

Chris.

 

[Ravcat]

Thank you everyone for the words of wisdom, encouragement, and support...

We had our 1 year anniversary in April, we went to Denver CO and we hiked, shopped, hot air ballooned, and got to eat out.

Trips are expensive, with airfare and hotels, and outings, at times it is overwhelming.

Yes my mental health is not too good, as other have said "go out and do something or you will go crazy sitting there!" but I have already reached that point.

People here think I should be ok, and happy to sit at home. "Must be nice to sit at home all day!" but when you have nothing to do but play maid to my parents, it is rather depressing.

I didnt plan on this, I had landed a great job, something I was growing in and climbing the latter, etc. And it just really is hurtful that people say conflicting things...I feel like a bum and a leech but at the same time...my brother has my expensive SUV that I took pride in keeping in top condition and he has all but trashed it...and there is nothing I can do about it, because my brother has issues, and it is just a mess...


Sorry for the rant...love you guys.

Just awfully discouraged.

 

[Celandrius]

I know the feeling! I was here in Canada my entire process, and my husband/sponsor works nights. I literally had nothing to do and I have literally no friends here. I was going stir crazy, gaming was the only thing that kept me sane. For the most part...
You'll get through it! Just get your car back and you'll be okay! It is your car after all.

 

[Sheps]

Have you tried going through the border again? I understand they are more lax with people who have a PR app.

Just tell them you are expecting to be approved within 4 months (should be even less, CIC seems to be into September now and picking up steam, the express entry stream probably slowed down everything for a bit) and that you just want to visit your husband for a few months because you miss him.

Keep your property in the US if you have any, and maintain banks and stuff. Just bring a single suitcase or two.

Alternatively, since you are a US citizen, if you do get denied you can apply for a TRP at the port of entry on humanitarian grounds (family reunification).

This is all up to you, otherwise I would definitely just try and stick it out. Perhaps find a job that isn't high demand and you can quit after 4 months, or do some schooling or something.

 

[shortyp2000]

I totally understand how you feel. I go back and forth about it too. I love hubby but this is just so frustrating..... im home with our children, and all im doing is waiting waiting waiting. I check ecas a million times a day, and i know i shouldnt but how can i not? Im dying for something to happen! Some days are better than others, but it feels like since we started this in December its been way worse than before we started, because now im getting false hope from others saying it will happen soon, and seeing it actually happen for others is great but also leaves me frustrated. Im actually feeling a bit better the last week or so as I have started school, its something to keep me busy. Being a home doing nothing was just driving me mental. See if you can do something to keep you busy while you are off work, join a club, start a course at a local school if possible, but keep busy. Trust me, I know you want to say "shut up!" to me or others when you hear this but its something that will help keep you from losing your sanity. xoxo

 

[Evadyrrehs]

Thank you everyone for the words of wisdom, encouragement, and support...

We had our 1 year anniversary in April, we went to Denver CO and we hiked, shopped, hot air ballooned, and got to eat out.

Trips are expensive, with airfare and hotels, and outings, at times it is overwhelming.

Yes my mental health is not too good, as other have said "go out and do something or you will go crazy sitting there!" but I have already reached that point.

People here think I should be ok, and happy to sit at home. "Must be nice to sit at home all day!" but when you have nothing to do but play maid to my parents, it is rather depressing.

I didnt plan on this, I had landed a great job, something I was growing in and climbing the latter, etc. And it just really is hurtful that people say conflicting things...I feel like a bum and a leech but at the same time...my brother has my expensive SUV that I took pride in keeping in top condition and he has all but trashed it...and there is nothing I can do about it, because my brother has issues, and it is just a mess...


Sorry for the rant...love you guys.

Just awfully discouraged.

Hang in there Ravcat It is a hard process with all the unknowns of immigration and living in limbo so to speak whether you've just begun the process or have been waiting for months etc. For me and my wife the good is that she has been able to stay here in Canada with me for most of our relationship, but we really need to have this over with soon for work/timing/sanity reasons etc.. Right now my wife is on implied status while we await the verdict of her visitor extension, and we are hoping we will have PR soon as it's been 7.5 months or so now. For us if my wife cannot stay it will drastically change our whole life direction as she has nowhere to go in the US that is good for her well being family wise, and I guess I will just go back with her and live till our money runs out and then go from there :'(.. That's how it feels for us so I can understand how the whole picture may feel for you also.

My wife also has/had a brother who was taking advantage of her not unlike what your brother is doing to you, and her parents are no different in some ways and make my wife feel trapped and that she has to walk on eggshells all the time when she is there etc..

You really need to put a stop to your brother using your car no matter what his issues are. It's your car and you offered it as help and your brother has abused that privilege, time to tell him to arrange other transportation.. 8)

Dave and Sherry

 

[Kayaker]

Agree with others; you could try going to Canada again. What CBSA is concerned with is people who probably want to stay in Canada long term (like you wanting to stay with your boyfriend at the time) who just show up with no long-term plan and no ties back to home. Having applied for PR means you have taken the necessary steps to be in Canada legally, so they would think that the chances of you turning into an illegal immigrant is small. Now that you are married, have submitted a PR application and have received sponsorship approval, they would know you are not a risk. Last time, you were turned away at the border, not issued an exclusion order, right? I think the chances of you getting turned away is small.

You could spend the last few months of waiting for PR in Canada. I know in some ways it would be the same - no job, no income, no friends, no healthcare (if you're not in Alberta?), etc. But you could start looking for a job, you could network, you could make friends, get to know your neighborhood and area. The difference is that in the US, you don't feel like doing anything because you know you're leaving, it's temporary. In Canada, you will know this is your future, so even if you can't actually start a job, you would feel much better networking and laying the groundwork for starting your life here. Once you get PR, you can hit the ground running! I stayed here 7 months waiting for PR (applied outland, visa-exempt like you, I extended my visitor status once) and it didn't feel as bad as the wait would have felt back in Japan with my parents. I got to know some people, which led to employment as soon as I got PR. I made our home nice and comfy, and most of all I spent quality time with my husband. "Sit at home all day" is much more productive when you are where your future life is, not a place you are leaving soon!

Good luck!!!