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[GandiBaat]

Women in the subcontinent are predominantly house bound after marriage though it varies from country to country , culture to culture but it’s vastly different from how marriages work in the western culture.

No. These days they typically go to work as well.

 

[wonderbly]

Women in the subcontinent are predominantly house bound after marriage though it varies from country, culture to culture but it’s vastly different from how marriages work in the western culture.

Some of the practices of the western culture regarding marriages are too 'out there' for me .

I don't begrudge anyone their decisions, as it's none of my business. I don't think anyone's choice is wrong, even if it's directly contrary to mine.

But in my experience, most cultural practices favour men way more than women. A lot of men are happy with status quo, because it gives them all the power and advantage while most of the womenfolk accept it cos that's how it's always been. The few who try to kick back are the ones that becomes outcasts.

 

[GandiBaat]

There is a place for consensus in life, but I don't agree it has a place in my decision on who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

What if parents and couple are going to spend their life together in the same house hold?

 

[slavicgirl]

Usually the girl moves in with the groom's house where the parents might be living too.

If you live at your own place in a different City, and you have a new born, parents on both sides might take turn to move in and help with raising the child of both the parents are working. No need for day care for Indian families.

are parents retired then? (sorry for the dummy questions I really don't know much about your culture)

 

[Deleted member 994371]

I kid you not! Someone around me actually said that they are a CEC applicant getting PR soon in their matrimonial profile !

Let's admit it - being an NRI is a status symbol in our country.

All the immigration frauds tell us one thing - we will do anything to get out of the country. Since arrange marriage is a transaction in our country (atleast in the beginning), an NRI status increases your value.

 

[Impatient Dankaroo]

Usually the girl moves in with the groom's house where the parents might be living too.

If you live at your own place in a different City, and you have a new born, parents on both sides might take turn to move in and help with raising the child of both the parents are working. No need for day care for Indian families.

Usually the girl moves in with the groom's house where the parents might be living too.
This is how we solve housing shortage in Canada

edit: fk it throw the grandparents in there too

 

[wonderbly]

Usually the girl moves in with the groom's house where the parents might be living too.

If you live at your own place in a different City, and you have a new born, parents on both sides might take turn to move in and help with raising the child of both the parents are working. No need for day care for Indian families.

Why does the wife's parents not move in as well?

 

[Deleted member 994371]

are parents retired then? (sorry for the dummy questions I really don't know much about your culture)

Yes. That's the case most of the time. In Indian culture, once you are done raising your kids, you raise your grand kids. That way there is no empty nest syndrome.

 

[GandiBaat]

are parents retired then? (sorry for the dummy questions I really don't know much about your culture)

Typically they retire at 60. So a lot of folks have retired parents at their second child atleast. Otherwise parents take long vacations to be with their kids.

 

[wonderbly]

What if parents and couple are going to spend their life together in the same house hold?

I don't understand your question, but as long as everyone is in agreement, why not?

 

[dankboi]

Some of the practices of the western culture regarding marriages are too 'out there' for me .

I don't begrudge anyone their decisions, as it's none of my business. I don't think anyone's choice is wrong, even if it's directly contrary to mine.

But in my experience, most cultural practices favour men way more than women. A lot of men are happy with status quo, because it gives them all the power and advantage while most of the womenfolk accept it cos that's how it's always been. The few who try to kick back are the ones that becomes outcasts.

either way i wish there are no kids who'll go shooting people randomly, oh yes the result of western parenting and family life.
maybe i have seen only the worst so i am always leaning to the middle ground. not gonna lean to the east or west.
what i like about the west- Terrain
what i like about the east- Elements of zen
what i like about the north- Aurora borealis
what i like about the south- Tropical climate

 

[slavicgirl]

But in my experience, most cultural practices favour men way more than women. A lot of men are happy with status quo, because it gives them all the power and advantage while most of the womenfolk accept it cos that's how it's always been. The few who try to kick back are the ones that becomes outcasts.

I am glad that as a woman I was born here (west from a cultural perspective) because if I had to born again I probably wouldn't have this much luck. I am happy that i don't have to do everything by myself at home, we split housework. If I want to leave I can leave whenever I want. (the good thing is that I don't want to leave I stay with him because I want to)

 

[Deleted member 994371]

Why does the wife's parents not move in as well?

It's unusual but it does happen. In this case the groom moves in with the girls family.

This is usually done when the groom's family is non-existant or the groom lives in a city where the bride resides and the groom's family lives somewhere else.

It is considered slightly emasculating in our society and therefore pretty unusual but it does happen often out of necessity.

 

[Psyoptica]

Why does the wife's parents not move in as well?

My understanding of the Indian culture is the the wife moves in with the groom where his parents are already living. She visits her parents every once in a while.

 

[wonderbly]

Well, animals also do not move outside their natural habitats and certainly do not move from India to North America..

Upshot, humans are way more complex and different than other animals.. We are also way more flexible (and hence complex).

Actually, Bonobos -- the closest animals to us, have even more extreme example of mating and child rearing.... https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/bonobo-mums-drag-their-sons-to-ovulating-females/

Talk about the extreme of helicopter parenting...


Thats why I said, about high context societies... In such societies like ours, we are more of our context ie family etc. Its not a new beginning but continuation of a legacy. There is a reason I call subcontinent males as mamma boys... we really are reflection of our parents. Its more like Windows Vista to Windows 10 and less like Windows to MacOS transition from one generation to another.

I'm getting the vibes you think you need to justify your points to me - please understand that you don't. I respect your opinion, and I am not having this discussion to try to change your mind or point out the "wrongness" in your opinion. I was just giving my perspective (as someone who is outside of your culture and certainly do not understand/appreciate it).

If it sounded like I was coming at you for your cultural stance, please know that was not my intention at all .