FSW WORLDWIDE

[GandiBaat]

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. No one has the right to judge someone’s culture even if they don’t agree with it. Also no need to change a practice that has worked for people for generations. As long 2 people are happily married, that’s all that matters.

Well, thats pretty much the subcontinent families. Two families joined in marriage and couple living with the parents.

 

[Deleted member 994371]

I am okay with all kinds of marriage - love, arranged, same-sex, open, inter-racial. You name it

There is only one kind of marriage I oppose to - that is between a FSW and a CEC. That union is just unholy. There is no way God intended a heathen and non-heathen to be together.

Hit the like button and smash that bell icon if you agree.

 

[wonderbly]

My question is this: What is so fundamentally wrong in working with your parents to decide your life partner? After all what is fundamentally love is: You stick with a person with whom you do not have a fundamental disliking and very very likely you will get attracted to them. If my vision of marriage and family sound transactional, I think your versions of marriages and love sound very disney'esque to me.

Also, whats so wrong with living together with your parents?

Nothing wrong with living with your parents, it's not illegal. However, in my opinion, moving out of the nest is part of growth and the cycle of life - even animals leave their childhood 'home' to start their own family. You and your wife are starting a new family/home together, your own little community where you both get to decide the rules/policies that governs your new home. I don't see how you can truly do that if your parents (who will still see you as their children) will not interfere or influence this. Also from what I've seen, it's more often the case that it is the husband's parents that live with the couple, and not the wife's parents, which means the parent's may have an even greater decision power than the wife in her own home.

Every marriage is a transaction, whether you made the decision yourself or someone made it for you. You go into marriage expecting something out of the effort you intend to put in. I don't think the word "transaction" used by a previous poster belittles arranged marriage.

 

[Psyoptica]

I am okay with all kinds of marriage - love, arranged, same-sex, open, inter-racial. You name it

There is only one kind of marriage I oppose to - that is between a FSW and a CEC. That union is just unholy. There is no way God intended a heathen and non-heathen to be together.

Hit the like button and smash that bell icon if you agree.

The offsprings of CEC-FSW are destined for hell.

 

[dankboi]

i agree on dating game. i can have too many gfs, nothing really matters anymore. one's gone? no problem my man! i whisper to myself. another one cheats!? still no problem, i will have another, and this cycle shall continue.
now at this stage of life i lost all interests in having a relationship. ah yes the dating game thanks.

 

[GandiBaat]

I am okay with all kinds of marriage - love, arranged, same-sex, open, inter-racial. You name it

There is only one kind of marriage I oppose to - that is between a FSW and a CEC. That union is just unholy. There is no way God intended a heathen and non-heathen to be together.

Hit the like button and smash that bell icon if you agree.

I kid you not! Someone around me actually said that they are a CEC applicant getting PR soon in their matrimonial profile !

 

[slavicgirl]

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. No one has the right to judge someone’s culture even if they don’t agree with it. Also no need to change a practice that has worked for people for generations. As long 2 people are happily married, that’s all that matters.

If they are happily married then who am I to judge? I don't know anything about arranged marriages but do women in marriages like that have their own income or are their careers stalled because of kids and marriage so they have no other choice but to stay (or if not this then is divorce considered as shame for women?) This is my biggest concern. All women should have same responsibilities, same possibilities as men have.

 

[dankboi]

I am okay with all kinds of marriage - love, arranged, same-sex, open, inter-racial. You name it

There is only one kind of marriage I oppose to - that is between a FSW and a CEC. That union is just unholy. There is no way God intended a heathen and non-heathen to be together.

Hit the like button and smash that bell icon if you agree.

this wil be epic in real life. fsw meeting a cec

 

[wonderbly]

There is no doubt you can make decision on your own... Why does it have to be ONLY your decision? What is so wrong with consensus?

There is a place for consensus in life, but I don't agree it has a place in my decision on who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I mean, it's hard enough spending forever with someone you chose yourself and fell in love with (life happens, people change), I can't imagine how that will work long-term if it was someone that wasn't even my choice to begin with.

One can argue that the guy has a say in agreeing to an arranged relationship, but it's clear that the parents' approval holds sway and can very well ne the dealbreaker.

 

[Deleted member 994371]

i agree on dating game. i can have too many gfs, nothing really matters anymore. one's gone? no problem my man! i whisper to myself. another one cheats!? still no problem, i will have another, and this cycle shall continue.
now at this stage of life i lost all interests in having a relationship. ah yes the dating game thanks.

I bet you will love to be arrange-marriaged with a girl who intends to setup a home with you and leave this dating bullshit behind.

 

[wonderbly]

Well, thats pretty much the subcontinent families. Two families joined in marriage and couple living with the parents.

So you typically will have 4 parents living with the new family?

 

[dankboi]

I bet you will love to be arrange-marriaged with a girl who intends to setup a home with you and leave this dating bullshit behind.

i prefer them and two stouts a month

 

[Psyoptica]

If they are happily married then who am I to judge? I don't know anything about arranged marriages but do women in marriages like that have their own income or are their careers stalled because of kids and marriage so they have no other choice but to stay (or if not this then is divorce considered as shame for women?) This is my biggest concern. All women should have same responsibilities, same possibilities as men have.

Women in the subcontinent are predominantly house bound after marriage though it varies from country to country , culture to culture but it’s vastly different from how marriages work in the western culture.

 

[Deleted member 994371]

So you typically will have 4 parents living with the new family?

Usually the girl moves in with the groom's house where the parents might be living too.

If you live at your own place in a different City, and you have a new born, parents on both sides might take turn to move in and help with raising the child of both the parents are working. No need for day care for Indian families.

 

[GandiBaat]

However, in my opinion, moving out of the nest is part of growth and the cycle of life - even animals leave their childhood 'home' to start their own family.

Well, animals also do not move outside their natural habitats and certainly do not move from India to North America..

Upshot, humans are way more complex and different than other animals.. We are also way more flexible (and hence complex).

Actually, Bonobos -- the closest animals to us, have even more extreme example of mating and child rearing.... https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/bonobo-mums-drag-their-sons-to-ovulating-females/

Talk about the extreme of helicopter parenting...

You and your wife are starting a new family/home together, your own little community where you both get to decide the rules/policies that governs your new home.

Thats why I said, about high context societies... In such societies like ours, we are more of our context ie family etc. Its not a new beginning but continuation of a legacy. There is a reason I call subcontinent males as mamma boys... we really are reflection of our parents. Its more like Windows Vista to Windows 10 and less like Windows to MacOS transition from one generation to another.