That sounds like you've had that beer or a chance to think calmly for a day or two. (We all understand, it's stressful).
A small warning, I think that answers to a lot of your questions above have a lot more nuance and depend more on your personal circumstances - i.e. to some degree there are no right or wrong answers, but only input/opinions that only you can decide upon.
In no particular order:
-sure, you can write singapore. I have no idea whether there is any chance that they would change their decision, but I don't think it can hurt. I suspect that once a refusal is entered into the system, that's it - but I don't know for certain. But why not try?
-you can apply for PR basically immediately arriving in Canada. Whether it makes more sense to prepare more and apply a little bit later - judgment call.
-overall I would tend to guess that returning earlier/arriving in Canada soonest is in your favour more than arriving (for example) they day before your spouse's TRV expires. I don't mean to say you have to get on a plane tomorrow, but roughly, sooner is better - in no small part because you can file the inland application sooner.
-read up on the inland process and the open work permit, there are many threads here. "A few months" is optimistic in covid times, but who knows.
-primary advantage of the open work permit vs PR coming later is the right to work earlier. Additional benefit is health care after starting work. (Details vary by province, as I understand, not an expert). That might be a gain of a few months, or more, or less, depending on how long the whole process takes.
-Finding a job before applying: I am guessing it does not make much difference - you might gain a bit of time here, lose a bit there; may also depend on eg savings (because you are showing you can support yourselves). They will ask you to show that you can support your spouse although there are no specific monetary or income minimums; if (for example) you apply before finding a job and then provide them with update on your employment during the processing, should be okay. If you apply with a concrete job offer starting (eg.) a week later, that might be preferable - but probably not worth waiting three months to apply.
-Roughly arguably the same for housing - if you apply while staying with family temporarily and then update later with lease and new address in your own name, will be taken into account. Both of these points are probably more about seriousness than concrete legal requirements.
As I said these are more opinions (hopefully somewhat informed) than hard yes/no answers.
The biggest difference will be applying from within Canada, followed by evidence that you're settled/settling in earnest.
And I repeat - order the GCMS notes. Costs five dollars and perhaps half hour of your time.
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