supervisa for toxic inlaws - PLEASE HELP

[Sohaan.e.rooh]

So we have applied for parents in law. Last year, our income was over $100k, but this year, we are going to be meeting just half of that. I had no choice but to send in my T4, and NOA along with my husband. We didn't send any other document to support our income, and was hoping it would be rejected. The problem is that we got a medical request, and so that means their supervisa will be approved. These people had turned my life hell back home, and they are going to make it worse. I have lost sleep, I am suffering from constant pain on my left side due to stress. My children and I don't deserve it.

If I report them to IRCC, will my husband find out from GCSM notes, or would IRCC contact him. We don't even have enough money to buy their tickets. I am freaking out.

 

[scylla]

So we have applied for parents in law. Last year, our income was over $100k, but this year, we are going to be meeting just half of that. I had no choice but to send in my T4, and NOA along with my husband. We didn't send any other document to support our income, and was hoping it would be rejected. The problem is that we got a medical request, and so that means their supervisa will be approved. These people had turned my life hell back home, and they are going to make it worse. I have lost sleep, I am suffering from constant pain on my left side due to stress. My children and I don't deserve it.

If I report them to IRCC, will my husband find out from GCSM notes, or would IRCC contact him. We don't even have enough money to buy their tickets. I am freaking out.

I'm not sure I understand what you would report them to IRCC for.

Reporting that they make your life miserable will not result in the super visa being refused. If you want the visa refused, you would have to withdraw your sponsorship of the application. However yes, if you withdraw sponsorship and the application is refused, your husband will find out since this information will be in the refusal letter.

You need to speak wtih your husband.

Also, the medical request doesn't guarantee the visa will be approved.

 

[Sohaan.e.rooh]

I'm not sure I understand what you would report them to IRCC for.

Reporting that they make your life miserable will not result in the super visa being refused. If you want the visa refused, you would have to withdraw your sponsorship of the application. However yes, if you withdraw sponsorship and the application is refused, your husband will find out since this information will be in the refusal letter.

You need to speak wtih your husband.

Also, the medical request doesn't guarantee the visa will be approved.

thanks for your response. I was hoping to report their toxicity and emotional abuse. I don't know if IRCC would maintain confidentiality such as this.

I spoke to my husband, and he instead made me add my name and income information to the application.

I have been told that medical means application has been approved 99.9%.

 

[scylla]

thanks for your response. I was hoping to report their toxicity and emotional abuse. I don't know if IRCC would maintain confidentiality such as this.

I spoke to my husband, and he instead made me add my name and income information to the application.

I have been told that medical means application has been approved 99.9%.

Unfortunately toxicity and emotional abuse won't stop the visa from being processed and approved.

Withdrawing your sponsorship is the only thing that will prevent approval.

The refusal reasons will be listed in the refusal letter. Your husband will be able to obtain details through GCMS notes. If you do something to prevent approval, there's really no way to keep this confidential.

 

[subodhp]

The simplest way would actually be to have a conversation with your spouse. Any other method that I can think of will likely end up in same scenario as your spouse figures why the application was denied.

If you are on financially thin waters, there is even not emotional reasons to delay applying for Visa

 

[canuck78]

Unfortunately it seems like her husband is not interested in his wife’s feelings. Can you appeal to him for financial reasons? Perhaps concerns about your longterm budget and savings could delay the supervisa.

You are in Canada and do have other options if your in-laws arrive and it is an abusive situation. You can always leave. If you don’t feel valued in the relationship you can also leave. If you feel like your physical and mental health is really at risk you should try speaking to your husband again. A happy and healthy mother leads to happy and healthy children.

 

[Sohaan.e.rooh]

posting again.. dealing with a lot of emotional abuse currently. Husband and I don't talk most days. I am being told by in laws that my kids are not mine. This is my house, I earn more than husband, & spend all of it here covering expenses. he understands, but doesn't speak to parents. what do i do.. what are my options other than leaving him/my home.

 

[lovely89]

Ask help to the canadian authorities and report abuse. Don't lose your life next to a person who doesn't love you. We are in Century 21! leave him, divorce and find other man. Change your style, change your hair, put makeup, do exercises, make new friends. You are independent. Be brave. Kids will understand, they'll pass time with you and with him. Contract a lawyer to help you with the legal things of kids and house.

Your parents in law are manipulating you, and kids are yours, you are in Canada not in their country. So no matter what they say.

 

[scylla]

posting again.. dealing with a lot of emotional abuse currently. Husband and I don't talk most days. I am being told by in laws that my kids are not mine. This is my house, I earn more than husband, & spend all of it here covering expenses. he understands, but doesn't speak to parents. what do i do.. what are my options other than leaving him/my home.

You cannot get their super visa revoked or force your inlaws to leave Canada. That is not an option.

If you have submitted an application to sponsor them for PR and that application is still in progress, you can withdraw your support for that application so that it doesn't meet income requirements and the PR application is canceled.

That's pretty much it from an immigration perspective.

 

[canuck78]

posting again.. dealing with a lot of emotional abuse currently. Husband and I don't talk most days. I am being told by in laws that my kids are not mine. This is my house, I earn more than husband, & spend all of it here covering expenses. he understands, but doesn't speak to parents. what do i do.. what are my options other than leaving him/my home.

Unfortunately you may need to take some drastic action and separate from your husband. It is an awful way to do things but will put him in a situation where he has to choose. You have to be prepared for hime to pick his parents and to get divorced if you are willing to do something that drastic. I assume PGP and PR is the ultimate goal so this problem will have more serious implications at that point. You do need to be a bit selfish and value your own happiness and wellbeing in your own home.

 

[Sohaan.e.rooh]

so I leave my home? my kids? everything that I have worked so hard to build. I feel like dying instead.

 

[scylla]

so I leave my home? my kids? everything that I have worked so hard to build. I feel like dying instead.

No - we aren't suggesting that. What we are saying is that from an immigration perspective, it's not possible to revoke their super visas. They are free to come here as visitors as long as their super visas are valid.

My recommendation is that you meet with a family lawyer to explore your options.

 

[scylla]

posting again.. dealing with a lot of emotional abuse currently. Husband and I don't talk most days. I am being told by in laws that my kids are not mine. This is my house, I earn more than husband, & spend all of it here covering expenses. he understands, but doesn't speak to parents. what do i do.. what are my options other than leaving him/my home.

BTW - Canadian law largely finds in favour of the mother in the case of separation / divorce when it comes to the custody of the children. You can see statistics here:

https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/fl-lf/famil/stat2000/p4.html

Your husband is the one at a disadvantage here - not you.

 

[canuck78]

so I leave my home? my kids? everything that I have worked so hard to build. I feel like dying instead.

Nobody is suggesting you abandon your kids. You are saying that you are unhappy at home because of the toxic situation. You either have to figure out how to make changes in your home or leave the situation. This is more of a family issue versus an immigration issue. I would assume that an attempt to secure PR is liekly the next step after supervisa so this is a family issue that needs to be addressed before it gets to that point if you don't want them living in Canada. Have you considered a marriage therapist to talk over your frustrations with your husband? A third party may be helpful.

 

[lovely89]

so I leave my home? my kids? everything that I have worked so hard to build. I feel like dying instead.

No, you can't leave the house because it would be a desertion, you must continue there until giving him the divorce petition. Look at this: https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/abuse.html they have phone numbers there to help you. You must search a local lawyer to assist you better.

And for the house it depends if you bought it before or after the marriage, and it's material, your happiness is more important and doesn't have a value. If your husband is being abusive with you the law also protects you.

Remember that all your frustration is transmitted to the kids and they repeat the patterns: girls will grow up accostumed to abuse and they'll be submissives with their future partners and boys will grow up being bads to women. Give them the example, divorce and search your happiness. If you are happy your children are happy. Your husband can't take out the children from Canada without your permission.