IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.
- Thread starter H0peAndFa1th
- Start date
Dear Mr. Green,
I am writing this letter to discuss about the complaints we are receiving related to the reception area, and would also like to offer some solutions.
One main problem everyone complains about is the lack of seating capacity in our bank. We have only six chairs in total in this area; however, the average number of people who wait there is more than 10. This most likely means they have to wait for their service while standing, which provides them inconvenience and discomfort.
As you know that our customers spend most of their time in this area because they have to fill in all their formalities when they are at reception. When we are unable to provide the proper seating, there is a high probability that they will reduce their number of trips to our bank. This will probably affect our business and the brand image in the market.
Having said that, I think a small investment in the furniture can resolve this problem. We only need nearly ten more chairs and these can be easily accommodated in the current idle space of the reception. This will enhance customer satisfaction and drastically reduce the number of complaints regarding the improper seating arrangement.
I hope you would consider this matter seriously and take the decision at the earliest.
Yours faithfully,
John Smith
Dear Guys,
Could please review this essay ;-)
Many People think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factor that influence it.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is considered by a wide variety of people that every single person is able to induce the sense of happiness by themselves, while others propound external variables are more crucial in this regards. In my opinion, even though the person's mindset and capability are contributed to his sense of satisfaction, environmental and social parameters are of more importance and effectiveness.
On the one hand, many propose that if individuals have enough mental strengths and optimist mindset, they can promptly suppress any external negative vibe which might lead to sense of sadness or anxiety. Factually, personal characteristics such as high level of self-esteem, confidence and dignity provide a shield that protects a person in the most miserable situation. As a result, the person either can alter the situation or adjust himself in a way that the sense of happiness will be achieved gradually. However, they simply ignore external variable contribution in building up every individual's personality and limitations on their capability, thus they argue that no matter how much overwhelming a situation is, any individual can enable themselves to get it under control and start feeling happy again.
On the other hand, I believe that external parameters such as environmental and social factors are of more significance, since characteristics that enable a person to properly face a terrible situation and revert himself to the state of happiness are originated in these external variables. In on other word, the person should be thought properly how to handle stressful condition via his interaction with external environments and society such the way they have been treated in their families, quality of their accessible education system, etc. Moreover, the human capabilities in overcoming traumatic circumstances is definitely limited. Thus not in every situation feeling of happiness can be self-induced. For instance,It is unreasonable to expect a person to recover from a family member loss without support from other family members, friend or even a therapist.
In conclusion, even though the significance of a person’s capability in sense of happiness is undeniable, I believe external environmental and social parameters are playing more vital part in this regards.
Could please review this essay ;-)
Many People think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factor that influence it.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is considered by a wide variety of people that every single person is able to induce the sense of happiness by themselves, while others propound external variables are more crucial in this regards. In my opinion, even though the person's mindset and capability are contributed to his sense of satisfaction, environmental and social parameters are of more importance and effectiveness.
On the one hand, many propose that if individuals have enough mental strengths and optimist mindset, they can promptly suppress any external negative vibe which might lead to sense of sadness or anxiety. Factually, personal characteristics such as high level of self-esteem, confidence and dignity provide a shield that protects a person in the most miserable situation. As a result, the person either can alter the situation or adjust himself in a way that the sense of happiness will be achieved gradually. However, they simply ignore external variable contribution in building up every individual's personality and limitations on their capability, thus they argue that no matter how much overwhelming a situation is, any individual can enable themselves to get it under control and start feeling happy again.
On the other hand, I believe that external parameters such as environmental and social factors are of more significance, since characteristics that enable a person to properly face a terrible situation and revert himself to the state of happiness are originated in these external variables. In on other word, the person should be thought properly how to handle stressful condition via his interaction with external environments and society such the way they have been treated in their families, quality of their accessible education system, etc. Moreover, the human capabilities in overcoming traumatic circumstances is definitely limited. Thus not in every situation feeling of happiness can be self-induced. For instance,It is unreasonable to expect a person to recover from a family member loss without support from other family members, friend or even a therapist.
In conclusion, even though the significance of a person’s capability in sense of happiness is undeniable, I believe external environmental and social parameters are playing more vital part in this regards.
Hi,Dear Guys,
Could please review this essay ;-)
Many People think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factor that influence it.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is considered by a wide variety “wide variety” is when you have many different types of something, not applicable to people, it’s ok to say “it is considered by some” instead of people that every single person is able to induce the sense of happiness by themselves, while others propound external variables are more crucial in this regards. In my opinion, even though the a person's mindset and capability or you can simply say “even though mindset and capabilities...” are contributed to his the sense of satisfaction, environmental and social parameters are of more importance and effectiveness.
The structure of this introduction is sufficient for 7 and above.
On the one hand, many here maybe you would want to use “some”, because you don’t agree with this opinion, so why to add validity to it claiming that a lot people think that way propose that if individuals have enough mental strengths and an optimistic mindset, they can promptly suppress any external negative vibe which might might have led because that situation didn’t actually take place, it‘s like it only could have happened lead to sense of sadness or anxiety. Factually, personal characteristics such as high level of self-esteem, confidence and dignity provide a shield that protects a person in the most miserable situation. As a result, the person either can alter the situation or adjust himself in a way that the sense of happiness will be achieved gradually. However, they simply ignore external variable contribution in building up every individual's personality and limitations on their capability, thus they argue that no matter how much overwhelming a situation is, any individual can enable themselves to get it under control and start feeling happy again. You’re missing an example here, but it may be ok if you slightly change this sentence into something like “However, this point of view simply ignores the external factor in building up every individual's personality and limitations on their capability; thus, arguing that even in case of an emergency like the loss of a dear person or even a natural disaster, any individual can enable themselves to get it under control and start feeling happy again.”
On the other hand, I believe that no need to say I believe, in my opinion etc in the BP, you already said it in the intro, though I don’t think you’ll lose marks for that external parameters such as environmental and social factors are of more significance, since characteristics that enable a person to properly face a terrible situation and revert himself to the state of happiness are originated in these external variables. Using “factors”, “parameters” and “characteristics” in one sentence is too much, they have nearly the same meaning. In on other word, firstly, it’s “in other words”, secondly, try not to use itthe person should be thought properly how to handle stressful condition situations via his interaction with the external environments and the society such the way they have been treated in their families, quality of their accessible education system, etc. in the first sentence you already said that external factors include environment and the society, no need to keep repeating Moreover, the human capabilities in overcoming traumatic circumstances is definitely limited. Thus not in every situation the feeling of happiness can be self-induced. For instance,It is unreasonable to expect a person to recover from a family member loss without support from other family members, friend or even a therapist. you don’t agree due to environmental and social reasons. What you can do is to bring a “social” example in one and an environmental one in the other BP. Besides, you need to understand what you mean by a social reason. Maybe you would want to say it’s hard to remain positive if the society keeps putting a pressure, like expecting us to look or act in a particular way.
In conclusion, even though the significance of a person’s capability in sense of happiness is undeniable if it’s undeniable why do you deny it the
The structure is 7+, except for missing an example in BP1.
Try to avoid using “his/her”. The rest you can see in the comments.
Well done!
OMG,, you can not believe how much happiness you brought to my family with your comment.
We are going to apply for a PR, we do need high score.
At least I know I am moving forward in a positive direction.
I will keep working on my flaw and re-post another essay
Thanks for your support.
Dear Guys!
I saw the latest topic and wrote the essay. Could you please check it?
Thanks
Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
"
People have different views about whether happiness is controlled by a person’s inside measures or it is mostly affected by the surroundings. While the influence of external factors cannot be denied, I believe that internal factors are more important.
On the one hand, what happens outside of an individual can be a major source of their cheerful or sad state. Political or economic situation of the community influence our social and personal status. Thus, the environment we live in could makes us psychologically more satisfied, which cause a happier life. Moreover, people around us affect the way we enjoy our lifetimes. Since human beings are social creatures, they are influenced throughout interactive relationships with their family, friends, and colleagues. It can be therefore argued that individual’s happiness are affected by their society.
On the other hand, it is perhaps more likely for a person to take control of their joyfulness. Firstly, inner peace, as a great source of being happy inside, can solely be achieved via practices like yoga. Secondly, the definition of happiness is in the hands of every person themselves. An individual can seek what they desire and reach a satisfactory and joyful position. Finally, during difficult times that are most probably caused by the exterior of a person, he or she can definitely try to remind his or her pleasant memories and forget about the current unpleasant moment.
In conclusion, I can understand why external elements play an important role in making people happy, however, it seems to me that internal elements are of a higher importance in determining an individual’s level of happiness.
"
I saw the latest topic and wrote the essay. Could you please check it?
Thanks
Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
"
People have different views about whether happiness is controlled by a person’s inside measures or it is mostly affected by the surroundings. While the influence of external factors cannot be denied, I believe that internal factors are more important.
On the one hand, what happens outside of an individual can be a major source of their cheerful or sad state. Political or economic situation of the community influence our social and personal status. Thus, the environment we live in could makes us psychologically more satisfied, which cause a happier life. Moreover, people around us affect the way we enjoy our lifetimes. Since human beings are social creatures, they are influenced throughout interactive relationships with their family, friends, and colleagues. It can be therefore argued that individual’s happiness are affected by their society.
On the other hand, it is perhaps more likely for a person to take control of their joyfulness. Firstly, inner peace, as a great source of being happy inside, can solely be achieved via practices like yoga. Secondly, the definition of happiness is in the hands of every person themselves. An individual can seek what they desire and reach a satisfactory and joyful position. Finally, during difficult times that are most probably caused by the exterior of a person, he or she can definitely try to remind his or her pleasant memories and forget about the current unpleasant moment.
In conclusion, I can understand why external elements play an important role in making people happy, however, it seems to me that internal elements are of a higher importance in determining an individual’s level of happiness.
"
@marosa Thanks for the feedback. Regarding long sentence, actually, I was going through the article where it is written that creating a sentence with two subordinate and 1 coordinating conjunction might be a good idea to show your grip on grammar. I will avoid writing if it's not recommended by you.
Thanks
Hi!
“Since you know that our Air-conditioner was not working properly from the last few months, it has completely stopped working now because of the blockage in the outdoor unit, and heating temperature is almost unbearable due to the current heatwave.“
VS
1. “As you may know, our AC hasn’t worked properly for the last few days, and this morning it stopped working at all.” - this sentence has the subordinate and the conjunction and it’s only a bit longer than 20 words.
2. “I assume this could have happened due to the blockage of the outdoor unit (?)”. - a sentence with past modal verb.
3. “You can imagine (or as a result the temperature has become truly unbearable) how unbearable the temperature has become, especially taking into account the heatwave we are currently facing in the region.” - another sentence with more than one subject.
There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved.
Write a letter to your manager.
In your letter,
describe the complaints that have been made
say why the reception area is important
suggest how the reception area could be improved
Dear Mr Salman,
I am writing to brief you about the recent complaints which we have received from visitors regarding our reception area, along with a few suggestions for the improvement. One of the visitors raised the issue on the level of tidiness in the reception area, while another one was furious about the unavailability of the receptionist during his last visit.
As we are operating in the real estate industry, each visitor for us holds equal importance as he could be a potential buyer. Therefore, it is indeed vital to have an active and well-managed reception area.
I would like to suggest that for cleaning, a dedicated janitor should be appointed for the reception area. By doing so, we will ensure a tidy area throughout the day. Moreover, I have personally inspected regarding the availability of the receptionist and found that she often leaves her seat without informing her subordinate. By looking at her non-serious behaviour, I would like to suggest that she should be replaced with a professional staff member as the entrance area holds very crucial importance for our business.
I hope the suggestions I have put forward will be taken considerably.
Yours faithfully,
Sohaib Qureshi
@cansha @marosa
Write a letter to your manager.
In your letter,
describe the complaints that have been made
say why the reception area is important
suggest how the reception area could be improved
Dear Mr Salman,
I am writing to brief you about the recent complaints which we have received from visitors regarding our reception area, along with a few suggestions for the improvement. One of the visitors raised the issue on the level of tidiness in the reception area, while another one was furious about the unavailability of the receptionist during his last visit.
As we are operating in the real estate industry, each visitor for us holds equal importance as he could be a potential buyer. Therefore, it is indeed vital to have an active and well-managed reception area.
I would like to suggest that for cleaning, a dedicated janitor should be appointed for the reception area. By doing so, we will ensure a tidy area throughout the day. Moreover, I have personally inspected regarding the availability of the receptionist and found that she often leaves her seat without informing her subordinate. By looking at her non-serious behaviour, I would like to suggest that she should be replaced with a professional staff member as the entrance area holds very crucial importance for our business.
I hope the suggestions I have put forward will be taken considerably.
Yours faithfully,
Sohaib Qureshi
@cansha @marosa
This has already been reviewed so I won't re-review it. But I just wanted to add one point.
Question says Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved.
Dear Sir,
And your answer starts with this line.
I am writing this letter to bring an important matter under your consideration which requires your immediate attention because of the gravity of the issue.
Read the question again. Your manager has "asked" you to suggest improvements. So likely he already knew of "gravity" of issues. It is very important to read the question and then respond to the question asked. This "one size fits all" kind of approach is quite dangerous in IELTS. You have essentially chosen to write a line which would be appropriate for a letter where you are supposed to complain to a manager.
P.S. You might find some article mistakes in this letter. I am struggling a lot in placing articles. I know the rules, but I am not able to identify nouns. Is there any tip which can help me?
Give me an example where you struggled. So between a, an and the rules are kind of simple. You probably already know we use an when a word starts with a vowel (a,e,i,o,u). Between a, an vs the you need to just think about whether you are talking about something specific or something generic and the context.
So for example
Sentence 1: Give me a key.
Sentence 2: Give me the key.
In the first sentence, someone wants "a key" so basically any key would do. May be the person wants to scratch something and needs a key like object.
In second sentence, someone wants "the key". So, they need a specific key. May be to open a door.
Since you know that our Air-conditioner was not working properly from the last few months, it has completely stopped working now because of the blockage in the outdoor unit, and heating temperature is almost unbearable due to the current heatwave. Moreover, not only does heating problem is disturbing our visitors, but also the unavailability of staff at information desk is creating negative impact on clients regarding our company. Despite all the branding and spending on advertisement, we might not be able to convert potential clients into our permanent clients as reception area is entirely against the image we are trying to build among our clients.
I believe we should hire a veteran information desk officer to assist our clients, and it is also imperative to refurbish the area with the new furniture and appliances to maintain the image we are trying to depict among our clients.
I am looking forward to your response on this matter.
Yours sincerely
Rehan Yousaf
I think all such "suggestions" on websites are doing more harm than good. Your first goal should be to write a coherent essay / letter which addresses the question asked i.e. task response. All these points are relevant if you want to score a 8.5 or 9 on essay. if that is your goal than yes you need to follow complex grammatical structures. BUT without task response it would be extremely difficult to go beyond 6.5 even if you use complex grammatical structures.