IELTS - Writing - For Band 7 or Above.

[Hannan Khan]

One more with band prediction please...

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree?


A huge amount from the health budget goes into the treatment of various diseases. It is believed that the same investment should be made on prevention rather than treatment. My agreement with this opinion is only partial as I believe diseases would not entirely be eradicated and the need for treatment would be ever-present.

Prevention of diseases helps the masses in avoiding a number of health issues. According to a survey conducted by the International Society of Physicians, around 90% of the heart diseases are an outcome of inadequate prevention. The survey ascertained that if the people had avoided the use of unhealthy food, most of the heart disease cases could have been prevented. If the health budget is spent on providing healthy food to the people and taking precautions against the viral infections, a lot of diseases can be prevented.

In spite of all of its benefits, prevention cannot entirely replace treatment as it does not ensure 100% eradication of diseases. There is a small percentage of diseases that would always slip through the cracks and the patients would need cure against it. Therefore, it would not be feasible to spend the entire health budget on prevention while overlooking upon the treatment. Moreover, the diseases have an evolutionary nature and they become stronger by the day. A number of studies have proven that the diseases humankind is facing today have evolved over the past years. Hence, scientists need a continual research to learn the behavior of the diseases and the ways to cure them.

In conclusion, I believe that reallocation of the health budget toward disease prevention is a good idea. However, as prevention would not be able to eradicate the disease, expenditure on cure would always be a necessity for the health sector.

 

[Noor_100]

@artificial.nocturne @H0peAndFa1th @cansha Please evaluate my letter.
(Rewritten)
Writing task 1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
Describe the complaints that have been made
Say why the reception area is important
Suggest how the reception area could be improved

Write a least 150 words

You do not need to write any addressed.
Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ………….,

I am writing this letter to share with you my suggestions and solutions regarding the complaints which have been made about the reception of our Design Printing Office for the past couple of months.

I have got the information that the visitors to our office are continuously complaining about our reception. As per my view, the major complaints are about two main issues. One is, insufficient design samples we have for demonstration, most of the clients looking for colorful samples which could help them to choose their design, and the other issue is the improper response from the receptionist. Our present receptionist has been reported as unfit for our printing industry, who does not have adequate experience in printing designs industry.

For our paper design business, reception area is the significant place where clients can approach and choose their favorite paper design to get their visiting cards printed with it. To make clients comfortable, it is must to have eye catching design samples and good receptionist to welcome and help them.

I suggest that we should have our reception newly painted, and to employee a well experienced receptionist to greet and address their requirements. Also, there should be more booklets with various design samples which are best in the industry for demonstration.

Your faithfully,
Noor\

 

[BayJs]

@artificial.nocturne @H0peAndFa1th @cansha
Q)Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world's fuel resources. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Over the last few decades, number of people who opt for air travel has increased significantly. Environmentalists opined that air commute is one of the major reasons for the environment being polluted. I do not agree with the said statement and this essay will explain the reasons for it.
Air travel is the need of the hour. Restricting its usage might bring many repercussions. Firstly, such kind of reforms will affect the people and the businesses associated with this industry, which will only result in higher unemployment rate. Secondly, businesses and trades, which are largely depended on air travel will face huge loses. Consequently, this will affect nation's development, and subsequently, people who live there. Finally, it will adversely affect the tourism industry, since air travel is one of the important aspects of tourism. This will also affect the people working at the tourism industry.
Admittedly, there are a few drawbacks o excessive air traffic, such as depletion of natural resources. Aeroplanes are one of the least fuel efficient transport methods, thus, over-dependence on this method might affect our resources. Furthermore, the air vehicles cause air and noise pollution. Coupled with its pollution rates and affect on fuel resources, it could prove detrimental to our environment.
To conclude, air travel plays a pivotal role in many aspects of present world. Although it pose some threats to the environment, curtailing its availability might not be the feasible solution for this issue.

Word count=240
Thank you

 

[Hannan Khan]

One last for this week. I am so sorry I have three unchecked essays now but you can skip one or two if you like. Trying to attempt one essay type a day.

In many countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?


The air and water pollution are one of the biggest issues faced by the mankind. The industries emit a huge amount of waste products into the environment while construction of houses and other developments take up a lot of wood. This makes construction and other industries, the biggest contributors to environmental pollution. There are a number of solutions that can help alleviate the pollution menace.


The industries are considered the biggest contributors to air pollution. Factories produce hazardous gases including carbon monoxide which are released in the air through their chimneys. These gases are extremely injurious to human health and are also responsible for the depletion of the ozone layer. Moreover, a lot of deforestation takes place for the construction of houses and other developments. Trees consume carbon dioxide from the air besides releasing oxygen, a process which is sabotaged by deforestation.


There are a number of steps that can be taken to mitigate pollution. Firstly, legislations should be passed to ensure that the factories adhere to safe waste disposal methods. According to survey, a number of industries get away with unsafe disposal methods because of the lack of rules and regulations. Therefore, the governments should pass laws which ensure that the factories follow safe disposal methods. Secondly, the usage of wood in the construction of buildings should be shunned. The people should make use of other alternatives such as fiber and concrete for the construction of houses so that deforestation is reduced.


In conclusion, there are a number of environmental problems caused by the industries and construction. The people and governments should come together for proper legislation and steps to resolve these issues.

 

[Maddy612]

Amazing platform.. Could you guys please evaluate my essay?

Topic: Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Essay Word Count: 254

A few people think that home educating children is beneficial, however, others think it is significant to send children in school for better development. Indeed homeschooling can help children to learn more from family and relatives but formal education in schools also helps inculcating discipline in them (children).

Homeschooling is an efficient way of teaching. It gives a sense of flexibility and parents along other family members can also teach children through example. Moreover, it helps in saving a lot of money which may be given to schools as monthly fee expenses. When I was in school, I remember one of my friends left the school because his parents wanted to teach him at home. Teaching kids at home or outside school saves time which can be utilized in other co-curricular activities.

Despite having benefits of homeschooling, the advantages of proper schooling cannot be overlooked. The greatest advantage of admitting children in a school is the discipline they will have. Only waking up in the morning, dressing up in a uniform and trying to reach school on time has its impact in disciplining kids. Since I studied in a formal school during my childhood, it helped me in becoming a morning person. Learning to discipline your life is a crucial part of schooling.

The advantages of both homeschooling and sending children in formal education system is equally significant. Teaching children at home helps saving a lot of time, however, sending them to school helps them in learning to do things in a particular way.

 

[manish41711]

Just got my results. This was my first attempt.
L : 8.5
R : 7
W: 7
S : 7.5

I would like to thank @artificial.nocturne @cansha @H0peAndFa1th for evaluating my essays. I was shocked by writing (obviously) as I have seen folks getting stuck at 6.5 for many attempts. Another shocker was speaking. I was expecting 6. Anyways, looks like I might still have to attempt again as due to my age I needed an 8 in Reading (got 7) and 7.5 in writing (got 7) to get MAX points as I do not expect my wife to work super hard to get 8777 and become a primary applicant. Thanks again to the folks who evaluated my essay as that is the main place people get stuck.

 

[cansha]

Just got my results. This was my first attempt.
L : 8.5
R : 7
W: 7
S : 7.5

I would like to thank @artificial.nocturne @cansha @H0peAndFa1th for evaluating my essays. I was shocked by writing (obviously) as I have seen folks getting stuck at 6.5 for many attempts. Another shocker was speaking. I was expecting 6. Anyways, looks like I might still have to attempt again as due to my age I needed an 8 in Reading (got 7) and 7.5 in writing (got 7) to get MAX points as I do not expect my wife to work super hard to get 8777 and become a primary applicant. Thanks again to the folks who evaluated my essay as that is the main place people get stuck.

What happened in Reading? Looking at your other scores your score in Reading looks quite low for your abilities. And unfortunately even reval won't really help in Reading. Good to see a 7 in Writing and I wish you all the best for a 7.5.

 

[Harish Sharma]

Disclaimer: As a writer of this thread, I never got more or less than 6.5 in writing.

I am stuck at 6.5 bands in writing, got personal training from ex-ielts examiner, she explained alot, but still no avail, read books/info/tutorials from various ex-examiners, such as ielts-simon.com, Ryan higgins (ieltsielts.com), ielts Liz and many others I can't remember now.

My other maximum scores, Reading: 9 ( in both AC & GT), Listening: 8.5 , Speaking: 7.5, in short: Reading depends on your vocabulary, Listening and Speaking is luck. I admit that my grammar is weak, at least I feel that.

enough about me, Let's Talk business.

in this forum, there are many others like me, So I want to focus only on writing.

Feedback From IDP on writing


This is just a starting, I will add learning material, essays, essay analysis, written essays by me etc.

Let's admit that, we fail at writing and there is no conspiracy theory. Let us work towards improving it.

Please Share writing material, tips, tricks etc.


Post your own essays

I would like to suggest that you should take print out of this pdf file.
its cleared sample answer sheet pdf,
then
write on that, in time bound manner, like in 30 minutes
Click picture of it and post here, then we can check each others mistakes.
Make sure your handwriting is understandable and picture is nice.

 PDF:
https://uploadocean.com/eg22ddhpevxa
https://sendit.cloud/xqcitn78kx1e

I really hope we can work something out here.


Writing Materials

1. IELTS Academic & General Task 2. How to Write at a Band 9 Level (2017) -Ryan Higgins
note: I think this is the best source to know what cohesion and coherence is.

https://sendit.cloud/yxc3cmnc20zb
https://uploadocean.com/gwu8my7znuba

2. Essay Writing for English Tests by Gabi Duigu
note : This book should be your first book to understand what kind of writing they want from you, it was re-printed in 2003, I think this is mother of most of other ielts books, others are spin-off of this one.

https://sendit.cloud/6mjetq4kwjf7
https://uploadocean.com/6vgvszt4d930

3. IELTS Writing General Task 1 - How to write at a band 9 level -Ryan Higgins
note: Precise and clear in less time.

https://uploadocean.com/4aveqeoqi002
https://sendit.cloud/iaod6hvt090n

More material will come..

Hello Dear,

Thanks for your post. Even I am also facing the same issue, 5.5 in reading. Can you please guide me and share the book as you have mentioned. For your information, books are not available in the above links.

 

[manish41711]

What happened in Reading? Looking at your other scores your score in Reading looks quite low for your abilities. And unfortunately even reval won't really help in Reading. Good to see a 7 in Writing and I wish you all the best for a 7.5.

I am disappointed too for my reading score. A 7 in reading means a 34-35/40 so I think i made 2 extra mistakes. In fact reading was the one section I completed the soonest Looks like the false/not given questions got me.

 

[velocityblood]

Please help with the evaluation of the below essay.
More and more people are choosing ready to eat food rather than cooking themselves. Do this development has more advantages than disadvantages?

Ready to eat food is becoming increasingly popular over the homemade food among people. This essay will argue that the disadvantages of such development are stronger than the advantages. This essay will first demonstrate that how the ready to eat food is yielding to poor health, followed by the analysis of the advantage specifically, busy schedule and hectic lifestyle, is not valid.

The consumption of excessive ready to eat food among people especially youngsters is causing poor health issues. The reason behind it is uses of preservatives and various chemicals in the ready to eat food to maintain the shelf-life of the product, consumption of such chemicals have an adverse effect on the human body as well. For example, in India, those who consumed ready to eat food specifically foods made of grains have faced health issues like gastric and acidity and similarly who consumed food that used excessive veg fat have seen the problems like fatty liver. According to a recent survey carried out in India shows that those who consumed readily available food have seen a decrease in health and spend 20% more on medication compared to those who preferred self-prepared food.


Those who consumed ready to eat food to avoid the time wasted in preparing the food at home are also seen wasting time for medication. For example, people often seeing the doctor for treatment of health problems caused by the consumption of ready to eat food which again leads to sparing the time to keep the health and follow the doctor’s prescription.

To conclude consumption of ready to eat food causes health issues which leads to more time invested to keep the body fit so it is always better to consume self-prepared or home cooked food and thus maintain good health.

 

[artificial.nocturne]

I am disappointed too for my reading score. A 7 in reading means a 34-35/40 so I think i made 2 extra mistakes. In fact reading was the one section I completed the soonest Looks like the false/not given questions got me.

Don't be hard on yourself. Reading is not an easy paper anyway. I remember I got 6.5 the first time in Reading where my Writing band was 7.5. Quite a disparity but it happens. Besides it was your first attempt anyway, just practice more and you will get there, I practiced loads after that and in my final attempt I got a 9 in Reading. All the best!

 

[velocityblood]

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing.

What do you think are the main causes of crime?

How can we deal with the possible causes?


There is an increasing trend being observed in the number of criminal activities in many countries. This essay will first suggest that major cause behind the increase in the amount of crime is increasing aggressiveness and diluting patience in the human behaviour and then suggest that it can be dealt by government policies for encouraging the people to practice yoga on daily basis.

The root behind the increasing criminal activity is found to be increasing aggressiveness and less patience in human behaviour. On the first hand, increased aggressiveness has led to many serious crimes such as fights and murders. For example one of the customers in a shopping store started to beat the accountant for mistakenly adding an extra item in the bill which could have been resolved by a simple talk. On the other hand, the diluting patience in human behaviour made people conduct crimes such as thefts and fights. For example one of the people driving his car could not bear the horn blowing by the taxi driver while on the traffic light signal behind and comes out to beat up the taxi driver and tries to break the car glass and lights. A survey conducted in China suggests that crimes have increased by more than 20% in the areas where people are more aggressive and less patience.


A possible way to tackle the above causes is to bring awareness among the people for practising yoga on a daily basis. The government can introduce the policies for introducing yoga classes and centre in the country to encourage people to build yoga as part of the routine life. A recent survey in India suggests that those who practise yoga on a daily basis are lean by the behaviour and hold a high level of patience compare to those who do not practise yoga.


To conclude, aggressiveness and decreasing patience level cause humans to conduct a crime and it can be dealt with bringing new facilities to teach yoga to more people and build yoga as part of daily life.

 

[AB17]

This was the Task 2 on the recent 6th April IELTS GT. Look forward to anyone evaluating it and also giving a band estimation. Thanks

In most countries, Weddings are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past.

Why is this the case?

Is it a negative or positive development?

Irrespective of the money spent on the wedding day, it is the most important aspect of anyone life. Some people consider spending huge amount of money to celebrate the key occasion of their lives, while others prefer it to spend economically depending on the money they entail.

With the increasing expenses in all of our day to day activities, spending on the weddings have also increased. All the wedding arrangements including reserving a marriage hall, decorations and food expenses have surged over the years.

But the major trend which has led to increase in the cost of weddings is the magnitude of celebrations. Nowadays, people prefer inviting more guests, arranging a larger marriage hall, expansive decorations and range of food varieties as compared to in the past where people preferred a private small wedding with controlled expenses.

Although marriage is a private affair, people in our culture believe in aping what others are doing in the society. This leads to pressure in certain section of the society to have expensive weddings to maintain their status in society. They resort to taking additional funds more than their capacity through loans or some other means. This leads to unnecessary pressure on the families, not just monetarily but also mentally in order to make arrangements for the grand affair.

Overall it seems that the costly wedding these days have a negative impact on people who cannot afford to spend huge money on it. Wedding being the major event in our lives should be celebrated rather than worrying taking the burden of maintaining status in society by spending more than what one can afford.

 

[SithLord]

As some of you may have already know it, Today we have received results of 13 October test, well they came positive for me, finally!

Overall Band: 8.0
Listening: 8.5
Reading: 8.5
Writing: 7.0
Speaking: 7.0

I was waiting for it, kinda frustrated, that was the reason why I was reluctant to review your essays. I hope my journey will help you.

this was my 8th test this year, starting from 6th Jan 2018.

few details,
Listening: It ranged from 7 to 8.5 - never got 9
Reading: It ranged from 7.5 to 9 - mostly 9
Writing: 6.5 in 6 tests, 7 in two, including this one
Speaking: ranged from 6.5 to 8 - even got 6.5 to 7.5 via reevaluation

What inhibited me from achieving the required scores ?

Listening: I think, because this is the first section, nervousness, an agitated state, frustration, I even missed first ones which are the easiest ones. And sometimes because of a map, directions, MCQ, It boils down to your luck. A split second distraction can cost you a half band. For this there's is only one tip, increase the speed of your practice listening tests, and keep listening BBC Radio stations all the time, even in toilet, keep it running beside your pillow while you are sleeping

Reading: I read alot, It helps me calm, I enjoy it, busting IELTS tricks gives me thrill, but sometimes answers are totally vague, you can not be 100% sure.

Speaking: I am not a people person, I avoid strangers, unnecessary talks, conversations, have traits of an Introvert, So even hesitated in first introductory questions, most of the times my two minutes speaking topic was short in length, because it's hard for me to cook-up fake stories, but I always engaged well in Part 3, follow up questions, there are reasons, two part questions, they will keep asking why, and I love answering whys of my views. I speak my mind, and fortify it with examples, reasons etc. Most of the times examiners enjoyed talking to me because I don't cave-in, I always note or keep an eye on their eyebrows, their stressed forehead, inquisitive questions, a state of wondering, more question coming out of my own statements, lengthy conversation of consisting of 12 to 20 questions --- this all tells me, its going fine. If your part is ending quickly, say less than 10 questions or they are not asking questions from your own answers, means you are in a danger zone, some examiners like to cut short, they don't give the time to explain and you end up getting 6.5

Writing: There are many contributing factors for writing section, they vary individually, In-fact this whole thread is about it.
> I was out of practice, wrote nothing substantial by hand in last 10 years.
> My grammar was always weak, still struggling, blame the teachers I have got till 10th standard.
> I think alot before writing a line or sentence, a quest to make it perfect, never got the time to review my essay, even once.
> tendency to digress, said something, then started explaining it, which went south, failed badly in task achievement, wrote irrelevant stuff entirely.
> spelling mistakes, blame my computer for that.

To improve it.
> made myself known to their assessing criteria, mainly Task achievement.
> learned to write longer sentences, complex and compound, a content rich sentences with more meat.
> most Important - write essay under 30 minutes, letter 15 minutes, count words, review it, check articles -spell errors. etc.


well If you are new here, start reading this thread from first post, most of us are making same mistakes and getting same 6.5 bands.


some other thoughts ::

Now some of you heard that - IELTS is a scam, yes surely it is, I have no doubt in this statement.

but this should not deter you from improving yourself, you have to admit/own your mistakes, then improve them all.

is this entirely an English language test ?
nope it is not, they test your IQ and EQ too, your psychology plays great role in this test.
prepare well, trust yourself, be calm, think that you can always come and take this test again, have the budget and mental toughness to go through it, It is a high wall if others can climb it you can do it too.

Consider yourself lucky, if you got 8777 in first attempt, or even in first 3 attempts.

Best of luck to everyone involved in this thread or even reading as a guest,

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

My old friend, I still remember our painful days here. So good to see you finally moving away from this dreadful IELTS test!!

Sorry for being late here!! Congratulations on clearing your nemesis!! Your story is such an inspiration to everyone!!!

Getting more and more closer to your Canadian dream

 

[pierrekiprov]

Please, kindly check and evaluate my essay with band prediction. It took me approximately 45 min to write and edit it.

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem
What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Traffic congestion has become a major issue in many cities all over the world as it can majorly cause delays or accidents on roads. This essay will analyze the reasons for this and will suggest some actions for tackling this issue.

There are several causes for high volume of traffic. First, in many cities the public transport is not reliable, thus people decide to own private vehicles for their convenience. As a result, the number of cars in cities is rising, which consequently causes huge traffic jams. Secondly, unreliable road systems could also affect the overall traffic in urban areas. In many cases governments do not allocate their funds to improving city roads or extending them, thus the traffic results become detrimental. Take Shanghai for example, major linked roads are not well maintained despite the city’s strong policy for traffic and roads, thus, the congestion increases rapidly almost every day.

Although road traffics can cause many problems in cities, there are several ways to tackle this. Firstly, governments should invest in constructing more roads. By doing this, the high volume of vehicles will be reduced. In addition to building roads, it is vital for authorities to invest and improve public transport systems by upgrading public vehicles. This will reduce major use of private cars as many would rely on the public transport. For example, Chicago is known to be without car traffic problems as not only does it have reliable public vehicles, but it also has well-built roads.

In conclusion, traffic congestion is an issue in public areas all over the world. The results from this trend are caused by the general public and governments as they neglect the maintenance on roads and public transport. However, if necessary measures are taken, this major problem can be easily tackled.